Ted Lilly. A Cub.

[Thrillho]

Great, let's see him throw at one of our guys' hands and knock him out for the year. That'd be swell.

Sounds like as good a time as any to offer Dubois, Fox and SAM FULD their September cups of coffee.

Too bad Moonlight Greenberg is no longer in the organization.

Yeah, too bad.  He had that one great plate appearance.

1.000 OBP, Ogden!

My Laptop science says that a team of Greenberg's would score an infinite amount of runs. Unfortunately, the game of baseball as we know it would collapse, as the first inning of the first game they ever played would never end.

I put it to you: 40 Greenbergs or 40 Theriots... Pick your horse.

I imagine the 40 Greenbergs would be no fun to watch, and...upon reflection, the game would be called in the first inning after the entire roster suffered season-ending injuries (but scoring 10 runs in the process)

Wouldn't they score 22 runs?

If you have to pitch run for each hit batsman, and assuming a 25-man All-Greenberg roster, my back-of-the-envelope calculations have you running out of players after scoring only 13 runs.

Edit... Scratch that and bate your breath...

[Jon]

Great, let's see him throw at one of our guys' hands and knock him out for the year. That'd be swell.

Sounds like as good a time as any to offer Dubois, Fox and SAM FULD their September cups of coffee.

Too bad Moonlight Greenberg is no longer in the organization.

Yeah, too bad.  He had that one great plate appearance.

1.000 OBP, Ogden!

My Laptop science says that a team of Greenberg's would score an infinite amount of runs. Unfortunately, the game of baseball as we know it would collapse, as the first inning of the first game they ever played would never end.

I put it to you: 40 Greenbergs or 40 Theriots... Pick your horse.

I imagine the 40 Greenbergs would be no fun to watch, and...upon reflection, the game would be called in the first inning after the entire roster suffered season-ending injuries (but scoring 10 runs in the process)

Wouldn't they score 22 runs?

If you have to pitch run for each hit batsman, and assuming a 25-man All-Greenberg roster, my back-of-the-envelope calculations have you running out of players after scoring only 13 runs.

Wouldn't the pinch runners take over the at bat as the rotation went around?

[RV]

Great, let's see him throw at one of our guys' hands and knock him out for the year. That'd be swell.

Sounds like as good a time as any to offer Dubois, Fox and SAM FULD their September cups of coffee.

Too bad Moonlight Greenberg is no longer in the organization.

Yeah, too bad.  He had that one great plate appearance.

1.000 OBP, Ogden!

My Laptop science says that a team of Greenberg's would score an infinite amount of runs. Unfortunately, the game of baseball as we know it would collapse, as the first inning of the first game they ever played would never end.

I put it to you: 40 Greenbergs or 40 Theriots... Pick your horse.

I imagine the 40 Greenbergs would be no fun to watch, and...upon reflection, the game would be called in the first inning after the entire roster suffered season-ending injuries (but scoring 10 runs in the process)

Wouldn't they score 22 runs?

If you have to pitch run for each hit batsman, and assuming a 25-man All-Greenberg roster, my back-of-the-envelope calculations have you running out of players after scoring only 13 runs.

Wouldn't the pinch runners take over the at bat as the rotation went around?

What if there was a black hole in the dugout, so that when each injured Greenberg was helped off the field he fell back into the batters box?

[Cade]

Glad to see that LaRussa is keeping it classy, as usual.

Soriano apparently values his life and respects the killing power of TRL.

[Thrillho]

Let's do this again...

You would deplete a 25-man roster in 17 straight career-ending HBPs.

14 runs would score, assuming you are credited with a run scored on the 17th hit batsman, despite not having a pinch runner to take over for him on the basepath.

Edit... Then again, this might not be totally right, either. Baseball is hard.

Edit again... I take that back. I think 14 runs is my final answer.

[Jon]

Let's do this again...

You would deplete a 25-man roster in 17 straight career-ending HBPs.

14 runs would score, assuming you are credited with a run scored on the 17th hit batsman, despite not having a pinch runner to take over for him on the basepath.

Thank you for caring enough to do the math I was in no way inclined nor likely skilled enough to do.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's do this again...

You would deplete a 25-man roster in 17 straight career-ending HBPs.

14 runs would score, assuming you are credited with a run scored on the 17th hit batsman, despite not having a pinch runner to take over for him on the basepath.

Edit... Then again, this might not be totally right, either. Baseball is hard.

Edit again... I take that back. I think 14 runs is my final answer.

Expanded rosters. you get to have 40.

[Dave B]

Glad to see that LaRussa is keeping it classy, as usual.

Soriano apparently values his life and respects the killing power of TRL.

I see Lilly as the kind of a guy who causes all the laughter and jocularity of a locker room to cease when he walks by because his teammates fear his psychotic nature.

[Taylor2]

Glad to see that LaRussa is keeping it classy, as usual.

Soriano apparently values his life and respects the killing power of TRL.

The best part is that while TR Lilly distracted everyone with the elbow to Yadi's head he did the real damage with a knee to his groin.

[Jon]

Let's do this again...

You would deplete a 25-man roster in 17 straight career-ending HBPs.

14 runs would score, assuming you are credited with a run scored on the 17th hit batsman, despite not having a pinch runner to take over for him on the basepath.

Edit... Then again, this might not be totally right, either. Baseball is hard.

Edit again... I take that back. I think 14 runs is my final answer.

Expanded rosters. you get to have 40.

I gave up on that point as no one else seemed to care.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Great, let's see him throw at one of our guys' hands and knock him out for the year. That'd be swell.

If they come up and in on one guy tonight Pujols needs to take one in the dome. I know he'll just up his HGH dosage to get back into the line-up quicker but Piniella needs to go right to the nuclear option if LaRussa decides to dust somebody.

Harden got any history of drilling dudes?

Don't know but he strikes me as the kind of guy who would do it and not think twice about it.

I'd rather sacrifice one of the guys who got called up from Iowa. Or, better yet, Howry. Assuming he could hit what he was throwing at.

Pujols' dome is Bondsesque in size though. Ought to be able to find that.

[Waco Kid]

Quite a duo on the Cubs pitching staff. Make them angry and you either get punched silly or piano wired.

[Thrillho]

Let's do this again...

You would deplete a 25-man roster in 17 straight career-ending HBPs.

14 runs would score, assuming you are credited with a run scored on the 17th hit batsman, despite not having a pinch runner to take over for him on the basepath.

Edit... Then again, this might not be totally right, either. Baseball is hard.

Edit again... I take that back. I think 14 runs is my final answer.

Expanded rosters. you get to have 40.

I was working under the assumption that this inning is going down on the first Sunday in April, or thereabouts.

Two forfeits later would find you down 34 Greenbergs.

The only question left to consider is whether you replace the Greenbergs lost from the 25-man entirely with Theriots.

[Mike Douche]

Great, let's see him throw at one of our guys' hands and knock him out for the year. That'd be swell.

If they come up and in on one guy tonight Pujols needs to take one in the dome. I know he'll just up his HGH dosage to get back into the line-up quicker but Piniella needs to go right to the nuclear option if LaRussa decides to dust somebody.

Harden got any history of drilling dudes?

Don't know but he strikes me as the kind of guy who would do it and not think twice about it.

I'd rather sacrifice one of the guys who got called up from Iowa. Or, better yet, Howry. Assuming he could hit what he was throwing at.

Pujols' dome is Bondsesque in size though. Ought to be able to find that.

Howy's problem hasn't been that he has no control, but rather too much-- his fastball is of the Bob Scanlan variety--straight as a goddamn arrow.

Which really makes hima  good candidate for the patsy.

[Rooster]

Lilly said he had not intended to injure Molina, who left the game three innings after taking a knee to the left thigh on a tag play at the plate.

"First of all, I hope he's not hurt," Lilly said. "It's not something I was trying to do and it's almost more dangerous if I slide and my only other option is to stand there and let him tag me. At that point in the game, it's useful.

"I don't know if I'm going to go eight innings and not give up another run so I feel like we have to do what we have to do to score more runs."

Molina left the game after the thigh tightened on him and expects to miss a couple of games. He had not been expecting a collision, given the pitcher was running.

Today Ted might have to pinch run and not intend to injure Fat Albert.

Surprise! The Jockey told me that the Genius is shocked and appalled at Ted's despicable actions.

Piniella said Lilly wasn't supposed to run on the grounder by Derrek Lee, but he added it was a clean play. St. Louis manager Tony La Russa said the Cubs "play the game hard," adding "it goes both ways."

But when asked about Lilly's performance, La Russa hedged.

"I'll let the other team talk about him," he snapped. "I have no comment about him."

Whether there will be any repercussions Thursday remains to be seen.

La Russa is just a miserable piece of shit.

Hard-nose baseball.  That's what he's all about.