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Author Topic: Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread  ( 97,677 )

R-V

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Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women. 

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

BH

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Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

morpheus

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Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 08:53:51 AM
Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

All I know is, when you want to know what most Cubs fans are thinking, the source is obvious.

EDIT: Another strong source for Cubs fan thoughts.
I don't get that KurtEvans photoshop.

BH

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Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:02:32 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 08:53:51 AM
Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

All I know is, when you want to know what most Cubs fans are thinking, the source is obvious.

EDIT: Another strong source for Cubs fan thoughts.

The BCB comments are actually not as stupid as you'd think.

Saul Goodman

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How long until this gets blamed on Soriano's influence?
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest, it's a free country.  But how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?

CT III

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Quote from: Sterling Archer on January 06, 2012, 09:13:24 AM
How long until this gets blamed on Soriano's influence?

I don't know, what time does Chuck get up in the morning?

morpheus

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Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 09:08:23 AM
Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:02:32 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 08:53:51 AM
Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

All I know is, when you want to know what most Cubs fans are thinking, the source is obvious.

EDIT: Another strong source for Cubs fan thoughts.

The BCB comments are actually not as stupid as you'd think.

The NSBB ones are more entertaining.  "WestSideRooter" needs to win an award of some sort.
I don't get that KurtEvans photoshop.

BH

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Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:16:26 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 09:08:23 AM
Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:02:32 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 08:53:51 AM
Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

All I know is, when you want to know what most Cubs fans are thinking, the source is obvious.

EDIT: Another strong source for Cubs fan thoughts.

The BCB comments are actually not as stupid as you'd think.

The NSBB ones are more entertaining.  "WestSideRooter" needs to win an award of some sort.

Rocket also brings up and interesting point I had not thought about.

"girls want easy money to go shopping and get manicures and stuff. that's all the evidence i need"

Gilgamesh

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Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 09:37:21 AM
Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:16:26 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 09:08:23 AM
Quote from: morpheus on January 06, 2012, 09:02:32 AM
Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 08:53:51 AM
Quote from: R-V on January 06, 2012, 08:49:35 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on January 06, 2012, 08:45:27 AM
Quote from: Eli on January 06, 2012, 08:40:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on January 06, 2012, 08:31:28 AM
I'm just saying, women either have a habit of conveniently blacking out when involved with professional athletes or professional athletes have black out problems with women.

Or, conversely, professional athletes have a habit of sexually assaulting women.

Women of the vulnerably drunk variety.

But Starlin's a Cub and I like him!

Seriously IAN, I'm not trying to pile on - but given what we know about pro athletes in general, getting out your Jump to Conclusions mat and leaping to the "She's in it for the money" or "She's lying" circles is probably not the best route.

Fortunately, I'm assuming most cubs fans will take Ian's defense... case in point..

"Per reporter on the score. Starlin was at a bar with buddies and he, his 4 buddies, and 2 girls when to his apartment on state at 3:30am. The girl admittedly had blackouted and regained consciousness to Starlin doing his thang and 5:30. Starlin had a planned trip to the Dominican the next day and she went to the hospital 12 hours later.

Apparently this girl expected tea and crumpets when she goes to an athletes apartment at 3:30am after a night of drinking. Plus, I think everybody knows the blackout excuse. IMO I smell BS. Either way sucks for Starlin. "

All I know is, when you want to know what most Cubs fans are thinking, the source is obvious.

EDIT: Another strong source for Cubs fan thoughts.

The BCB comments are actually not as stupid as you'd think.

The NSBB ones are more entertaining.  "WestSideRooter" needs to win an award of some sort.

Rocket also brings up and interesting point I had not thought about.

"girls want easy money to go shopping and get manicures and stuff. that's all the evidence i need"

Women always be gettin' raped to get a manicure.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

Eli

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Quote from: BH on January 06, 2012, 09:37:21 AM
Rocket also brings up and interesting point I had not thought about.

"girls want easy money to go shopping and get manicures and stuff. that's all the evidence i need"

I have the world's worst sarcasm detector, but I think that was sarcasm.

Chuck to Chuck

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Quote from: CT III on January 06, 2012, 09:13:54 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on January 06, 2012, 09:13:24 AM
How long until this gets blamed on Soriano's influence?

I don't know, what time does Chuck get up in the morning?

Not early enough.

Slaky

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The charges against Castro are eerily similar to those against Seattle Sounders (it's a soccer team, dopes) star Fredy Montero.

here's the story:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008980395_webfredy03m.html

His defense:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/sounders/2008990345_sounders06.html

And the result:

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/No-charges-to-be-filed-against-Sounders-Montero-1303293.php

They are both stars and very young and from another country. They're both probably quite uneducated. Fredy Montero's charges were dropped and yet every single time he's in Chicago or anywhere else on the road he is taunted with cries of rapist.

This is Starlin's future now - whether he's cleared or not.

Sorry buddy - you just simply cannot take strangers into your house at 3 AM if you're famous and rich. Nothing good ever happens.

Gilgamesh

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Quote from: Slaky on January 06, 2012, 10:05:38 AM
The charges against Castro are eerily similar to those against Seattle Sounders (it's a soccer team, dopes) star Fredy Montero.

here's the story:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008980395_webfredy03m.html

His defense:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/sounders/2008990345_sounders06.html

And the result:

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/No-charges-to-be-filed-against-Sounders-Montero-1303293.php

They are both stars and very young and from another country. They're both probably quite uneducated. Fredy Montero's charges were dropped and yet every single time he's in Chicago or anywhere else on the road he is taunted with cries of rapist.

This is Starlin's future now - whether he's cleared or not.

Sorry buddy - you just simply cannot take strangers into your house at 3 AM if you're famous and rich. Nothing good ever happens.

...unless they wake up.  Dur.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

Richard Chuggar

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Quote from: Slaky on January 06, 2012, 10:05:38 AM
The charges against Castro are eerily similar to those against Seattle Sounders (it's a soccer team, dopes) star Fredy Montero.

here's the story:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008980395_webfredy03m.html

His defense:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/sounders/2008990345_sounders06.html

And the result:

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/No-charges-to-be-filed-against-Sounders-Montero-1303293.php

They are both stars and very young and from another country. They're both probably quite uneducated. Fredy Montero's charges were dropped and yet every single time he's in Chicago or anywhere else on the road he is taunted with cries of rapist.

This is Starlin's future now - whether he's cleared or not.

Sorry buddy - you just simply cannot take strangers into your house at 3 AM if you're famous and rich. Nothing good ever happens.


Without actually reading those links, but reading the name of the team, I'm assuming a WNBA player raped some chick.  Is there such thing as that?  I don' tknow, that's why I'm asking.

Also, let's be honest, this chick knows exactly what she's doing.  Anybody can roofie themselves or say they blacked out.  Or in his case, browned out.
Because when you're fighting for your man, experience is a mutha'.

Brownie

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On the bright side, Starlin Castro didn't get so mad after getting lit up by Braves hitters that he told the clubhouse man that he's retiring. So, he's a good teammate. I'm sure he's good for a few rubber chicken gags with Dempster and all the teammates trust him (if not with their daughters).

If there's any truth to this, fuck him.