Pollyellon banned me

[Internet Apex]

I managed to find this picture of Al, right as the ball was headed his way:

No, that's Chuck. Al is bald.

Isn't that guy Christian?

Quite.

[Tank]

I managed to find this picture of Al, right as the ball was headed his way:

No, that's Chuck. Al is bald.

Isn't that guy Christian?

Quite.

He does keep kosher, though.

(Just to be on the safe side.)

[fiveouts]

My thought process while reading that quote:

The ball smashed onto our blanket,

This is the gayest thing I've ever read.

made a scuff on my scorecard

I stand corrected.

(I wish I had a scanner here so I could show you!)

I stand corrected.  Again.

[Quality Start Machine]

I find it hard to believe he didn't have a glove with him.

[Kermit, B.]

Reading that made me tired.  I'm going to go smash into my nice, soft pillow for a while.

[BH]

Holy Hell.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4033120&name=Neyer_Rob

"Who says we need newspapers to dig up the hot stories? Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon was the first with the news about a blockbuster trade!

      At last, BCB readers have had the influence over Cubs management that we have long sought. There have been numerous readers here who have sung the praises of Micah Hoffpauir. But Lou Piniella took his cue from BCB readers Clutche and cubswynn, who have been the most adamant Hoffpauir supporters on this site, and has named the hottest spring training hitter on the club, Micah Hoffpauir, as the Cubs' starting first baseman. Said Lou: "The BCB readers are right. Micah's leading everyone in RBI's. Why shouldn't he start?"

      To make room for Hoffpauir in the starting lineup, Jim Hendry took my suggestion from last October 22 (and to think, so many of you laughed at me when I suggested this) and, after several weeks' worth of secret negotiations carried out at the Paradise Bakery in Scottsdale (the very same location where Nomar Garciaparra himself, the subject of one of Hendry's biggest deals, was spotted buying bagels and coffee during spring training in 2005), Hendry convinced San Francisco GM Brian Sabean to take the two remaining years on Derrek Lee's contract in exchange for pitcher Matt Cain.

      "We love Derrek, but after Sean Marshall's performance yesterday, we felt we needed some more depth in the starting rotation," said Hendry. "Sean can go to Iowa and keep Jeff Samardzija company."

Yes, of course it's an April Fool's joke. But Micah Hoffpauir did hit his sixth homer of the spring yesterday, he does lead everybody in Arizona and Florida with 26 RBIs and he did slug .752 in a half-season with the Iowa Cubs last summer. Does he really belong at No. 2 on anyone's depth chart except perhaps the Yankees and the Cardinals?

Well, yeah. But it's closer than you think. We can't take Hoffpauir's off-the-charts Triple-A stats all that seriously, as he didn't play well at that level until he was 27, and in his third season there. On the other hand, we can't completely discount his performance last year (or the year before, when he was quite good), and if he were better with the glove than Lee, you could swap them in the lineup and not lose all that many runs.

But Lee's still pretty good and the jury's still out on Hoffpauir's defense (though he did win the equivalent of the Gold Glove in the PCL last year). I'd love to see Hoffpauir get a real shot somewhere, but it looks like the Cubs are going to keep him around as a spare part, and he might well hit a few pinch-homers this summer."

[Andy]

Rob Neyer and Al Yellon.  Maybe my two all-time favorite Interwebs guys ever.

Two guys who absolutely love me, let me tell you.

It's probably time to post the Rob Neyer book review again.

[Quality Start Machine]

Well, yeah. But it's closer than you think. We can't take Hoffpauir's off-the-charts Triple-A stats all that seriously, as he didn't play well at that level until he was 27, and in his third season there. On the other hand, we can't completely discount his performance last year (or the year before, when he was quite good), and if he were better with the glove than Lee, you could swap them in the lineup and not lose all that many runs.

If he were better with the glove than Lee, he'd be the best first baseman in the National League.

And more people than the nitwits at BCB would be calling for Lee to be dealt.

[Andy]

How did we miss the best part of the article.  Check out Al's photoshops of D-Lee as a Giant and Matt Cain as a Cub.



He's a Giant alright, you'd need gigantism to make your head puff up like that.



If you wanted to make Cain look like a fey mongoloid, why not just use a picture of Will Cunnane?

[Canadouche]

I just want to state for the record that I did those photoshops for Al. 

You can tell because they look so impeccably authentic. 

[ChuckD]

I just want to state for the record that I did those photoshops for Al. 

You can tell because they look so impeccably authentic. 

a) Why?

b) Why did you use a white person for DLee's facial transplant?

[fiveouts]

Why does Matt Cain look like he's the recipient of a "Make-a-Wish" foundation day with a big leaguer?

[MAD]

I just want to state for the record that I did those photoshops for Al. 

You can tell because they look so impeccably authentic. 

a) Why?

b) Why did you use a white person for DLee's facial transplant?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that Kurt is not being serious.

So help me if I'm wrong.

[Gil Gunderson]

I just want to state for the record that I did those photoshops for Al. 

You can tell because they look so impeccably authentic. 

a) Why?

b) Why did you use a white person for DLee's facial transplant?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that Kurt is not being serious.

So help me if I'm wrong.

Kurt's gotta defend his turf.

[Quality Start Machine]

It's been noted before, but it bears repeating...

Al's greatest dissatisfactions are always directed toward Cubs of a certain skin tone.