Desipio Message Board

I shoulda waited for Andy's bump cause now I look like a double posting douche.  But I do like rereading that post of mine.  I said he was trying to hit more homers.  What happens?  DLee with the bombdiggity.  Awesome.  You keep doin' what'cher doin', D.  You the man.

Ogdens.

Did we get a spot up in here for the also-rans who just got shipped out? 

Clay Rapada  (Thanks for the 0.1 IP, Clay!  Makes his inclusion on the list so appropriate)
Rocky Cherry  (Still like the name, still think he'll be at least half-assed decent)
Scott Moore  (Never saw what other people saw in him, get lost, ya bum!)

If one of these 39 pages covered one of these mopes already, strike me down where I stand.  And strike those names off, too.

I'm pretty sure we had to have already gotten to Steve Fuckin' Trachsel.

Danny DeVito agrees to do Season 3, and exercises the rights granted to him in his contract:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/60d14b6331

Fred Savage is just there to watch.

Quote from: The Paul Popovich Experience on August 25, 2007, 03:39:30 PM

Quote from: StewiesBandwagon on August 25, 2007, 12:10:38 AM

Quote from: Kwyjibo on August 24, 2007, 03:36:42 PM

Quote from: Lance Dicksons Arm on August 24, 2007, 03:33:30 PM

Quote from: Kwyjibo on August 24, 2007, 03:29:49 PM

Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on August 24, 2007, 01:38:41 PM
Bumping the thread to introduce the Atlanta Thrashers' "Blue Crew."

http://thrashers.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NHLPage&id=13661

A possible cure for anything blue that you might have.

I positive ice sluts.

I can't imagine why that would be:

That reminds me - I need to go to Home Depot and pick up some shovels and hoes.

I would do so many dirty things to that blonde on the far left.

If you look closely, you can see the Asian chick to the right getting a little forearm-boob action. Nice.

You're strangely picky. All four of those girls are hot hot hot with rock hard bods. When the thirsty man is offered an ice cooler with four different brands of quality beer, he does not waste time in selecting one. He grabs the first one he can get his hands on and drinks from that manna, brutha.

{But if I had to pick, I dig the brunette in the center}

Who's being picky.  The only thing I'd be picky about with that pic is, well, Im'ma keep that private between me and those 4.  We be pickin' all night long.

I know I'm asking for ridicule by posting statistics, but, ah, the heck with it.

Lee's OPS by month:

April -- 1.035
May --  .841
June --  .866
July --  .898
August --  .867

His absolute worst 35 game stretch this season saw him collect an OPS of .814.  I even cheated against my favor and added a 36th game to that, an 0-3 performance against BC's Cardinals.  I certainly don't mean to say that Lee has not slumped, because he surely has, but, well, the statistics speak for themselves.

As for the inevitable "if you'd watch the games, you'd see..." argument, I do watch the games, and I know exactly why Derrek Lee is appearing to slump.  He's waiting for too many picture-perfect meaty gopherballs to crush.  He's excellent at going the other way, or turning on an inside pitch for a double down the line.  Instead of doing that more often, he's looking dead red to pound the shit out of the ball.  I can't speak for Derrek, but I would suspect his depleted HR totals have something to do with this.  To support my assertion, his HR totals have increased since he started taking this approach, while his contact rate has dipped significantly. 

I think he'll balance out eventually, even if it means we have to wait till next year (...) for him to do so.  If it gets too bad, we could always supply him with Winston's and the chick from the picture Andy posted the other day -- the one with the lady who suffocated a steel folding chair by sitting on it.

All this hand-wringing over a 17 year old?  17?

17 year olds, dude...

Quote from: Kwyjibo on August 10, 2007, 08:05:51 AM
Fork (and Mrs. Fork). I'm totally prepared for the ridicule...but I must say, I recommend everyone do something where 300 people scream for you. It's pretty cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4JBKfhA_xE

Quote from: 27B Stroke 6 on August 10, 2007, 09:14:23 AM
That took balls, Fork.

I knew some good slow shoe dancers back in my heyday.  But this guy?  Im'ma call him 'Fast Shoes Fork' from now on.

Quote from: Lance Dicksons Arm on August 08, 2007, 03:56:48 PM

Quote from: Simmer on August 08, 2007, 03:52:55 PM

Quote from: Lance Dicksons Arm on August 08, 2007, 03:46:20 PM
He's now free to explore other employment opportunities around the league as a result of this meltdown.  The Shaun Marcum introductory conference call is scheduled for 4PM...for those who are interested.

This is an all-too familiar reminder of The Andy Sonnanstine Saga the SD Cripplers went through.  We also fondly remember Kevin Slowey's cup of coffee.  This week -- its the tag team of Paul Maholm and Kyle Kendrick! 

I sincerely hope you have 80 teams in your league, or a roster size of 1,200 to be screwing with guys like that.  Eeesh.

Keep in mind, it's never too early to get started on the Rick VandenHurk era.

Sonnanstine and Slowey got looks on my Dynasty team because its a keeper league.  I (dumbly) thought I could squeeze a lil' upside out of either guy.  I can't tell you what I got out of them when I squeezed.  It was sort of like the cyst that kept me bedridden for 3 weeks in July.

Maholm and Kendrick, on the other hand, are soaking up spots on my 14-team private league.  I had to drop Michael Barrett to get one of them.  Yes.  That's right.  THAT Michael Barrett.  Oh, how humiliating.  I was forced to keep him on before Saltalamacchia was traded since Bobby Cox is a fuckwit (sitting both Saltalamacchia AND! Kelly Johnson).  

So, my rotation now reads:  Peavy/Zambrano/Shields/Capuano/Suppan/Kendrick/Maholm/Sonnanstine/Burnett/Harden

Quote from: Lance Dicksons Arm on August 08, 2007, 03:46:20 PM
He's now free to explore other employment opportunities around the league as a result of this meltdown.  The Shaun Marcum introductory conference call is scheduled for 4PM...for those who are interested.

This is an all-too familiar reminder of The Andy Sonnanstine Saga the SD Cripplers went through.  We also fondly remember Kevin Slowey's cup of coffee.  This week -- its the tag team of Paul Maholm and Kyle Kendrick! 

Quote from: ~Apex on August 07, 2007, 04:43:03 PM

Quote from: Simmer on August 07, 2007, 04:31:38 PM

Quote from: ~Apex on August 07, 2007, 04:18:15 PM

Quote from: Simmer on August 07, 2007, 03:56:40 PM
Blah blah Cubs suck we <3 Da Bears blah blah

Same ol' same ol'!

I heartily suggest shopping in the non-shit-in cereal aisle of your local grocer's.  The cereal that hasn't been shit in.  Another tip -- when you get home with your box of cereal, fight the urge to shit in it.  You can do it.  You are a big boy now!

All cereal has poop in it. It's science. You can deny it all you want, but you eat poop and enjoy it too. Yilch.

I take advantage of this mechanism, though!  I use the poop factor that cereal brings and implement it into my workout regimen.  I did mention my Pex's Pecs in the Gamecast yesterday, you can thank poopy Cheerios for that.  All that wholesome grain-based fiber bran -- the health benefits really go without saying. 

What I don't do, however, is use the poopy cereal as an excuse to dump on a quasi-shitty baseball team in August (AUGUST!) while sporting a meaty half-chub over some lame ass "pro" football team in August (AUGUST!!!). 

You say we all eat poop and enjoy it?  You don't seem to be enjoying it, though.  I call bullshit.  Or bornshit.  Or whatever cute mispelling you wish to apply.  Crapflakes.

Christ had AIDS. I'm not dumping the Cubs. I'm dumping on the Cubs. Since when did doing so in the midst of a 4 of 5 losing funk make me teh Ivy Chatter. Once upon a time, say, I dunno, June of '07, one would be called teh Yellon for not dumping on a team that just got PWNED by Wandy Rodriguez's dead ass. Son of a bitch! It's not like I don't want them to win. They just haven't much for about a week. And to fix the situation they claimed they'll find more at bats for he whom I must no longer mention so as not to tax everyone's long-exhausted patience. And maybe, just maybe if we're really, really lucky, they'll find a spot start for Sean Gallagher soon. If that's not worth a curse word, then I don't know what messageboard I'm on anymore. I think all the four letter you guys are readin' has gone to your nads. Now sack up and hate with me! HATE!!! That's the only cure for this shit. That or a bowl of ice cream with poop on top.

I'm calling this now -- when we hug, the results are going to be like grilled cheese. 

Plus, don't you dare chalk me up as one of those NSBB-readers, I'm firmly with you on that one, leather!

Quote from: ~Apex on August 07, 2007, 04:18:15 PM

Quote from: Simmer on August 07, 2007, 03:56:40 PM
Blah blah Cubs suck we <3 Da Bears blah blah

Same ol' same ol'!

I heartily suggest shopping in the non-shit-in cereal aisle of your local grocer's.  The cereal that hasn't been shit in.  Another tip -- when you get home with your box of cereal, fight the urge to shit in it.  You can do it.  You are a big boy now!

All cereal has poop in it. It's science. You can deny it all you want, but you eat poop and enjoy it too. Yilch.

I take advantage of this mechanism, though!  I use the poop factor that cereal brings and implement it into my workout regimen.  I did mention my Pex's Pecs in the Gamecast yesterday, you can thank poopy Cheerios for that.  All that wholesome grain-based fiber bran -- the health benefits really go without saying. 

What I don't do, however, is use the poopy cereal as an excuse to dump on a quasi-shitty baseball team in August (AUGUST!) while sporting a meaty half-chub over some lame ass "pro" football team in August (AUGUST!!!). 

You say we all eat poop and enjoy it?  You don't seem to be enjoying it, though.  I call bullshit.  Or bornshit.  Or whatever cute mispelling you wish to apply.  Crapflakes.

Blah blah Cubs suck we <3 Da Bears blah blah

Same ol' same ol'!

I heartily suggest shopping in the non-shit-in cereal aisle of your local grocer's.  The cereal that hasn't been shit in.  Another tip -- when you get home with your box of cereal, fight the urge to shit in it.  You can do it.  You are a big boy now!