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Author Topic: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread  ( 12,417 )

PenPho

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Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« on: November 01, 2012, 02:18:21 PM »
Seems as good a place as any to start...

Quote from: Muskrat
#Cubs have been in contact with Ryan Dempster's agent about possibly returning next year
"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

Tonker

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2012, 02:20:02 PM »
Can somebody page me when Mike gets here and reads this?  I don't want to miss it.
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

Quality Start Machine

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2012, 02:25:46 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 01, 2012, 02:20:02 PM
Can somebody page me when Mike gets here and reads this?  I don't want to miss it.

Especially if Dempster changes his name to rY-an.
TIME TO POST!

"...their lead is no longer even remotely close to insurmountable " - SKO, 7/31/16

BH

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2012, 02:38:24 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 01, 2012, 02:20:02 PM
Can somebody page me when Mike gets here and reads this?  I don't want to miss it.

I hope they call him in for a meeting, and offer him a minor league 1 year contract.

If he returns to cubs, does he retain his 10-to-5 rights?

Slaky

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2012, 02:39:10 PM »
This is the worst thing I've read in a while.

Brownie

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2012, 02:44:14 PM »
Quote from: BH on November 01, 2012, 02:38:24 PM
Quote from: Tonker on November 01, 2012, 02:20:02 PM
Can somebody page me when Mike gets here and reads this?  I don't want to miss it.

I hope they call him in for a meeting, and offer him a minor league 1 year contract.

If he returns to cubs, does he retain his 10-to-5 rights?

I'm hoping Epstein refers Dempster to Ned Colletti.

World's #1 Astros Fan

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2012, 03:14:41 PM »
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Just a sloppy, undisciplined team.  Garbage.

--SKO, on the 2018 Chicago Cubs

Quality Start Machine

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2012, 03:15:08 PM »
Quote from: Slaky on November 01, 2012, 02:39:10 PM
This is the worst thing I've read in a while.

Oh, we can fix that.
TIME TO POST!

"...their lead is no longer even remotely close to insurmountable " - SKO, 7/31/16

Tonker

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2012, 03:16:50 PM »
Quote from: PANK! on November 01, 2012, 03:14:41 PM
Oh, for fuck's sake. *pop*

That, my friends, is the sound of an aneurysm.
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

Internet Apex

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2012, 03:17:49 PM »
Quote from: PenPho on November 01, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
Seems as good a place as any to start...

Quote from: Muskrat
#Cubs have been in contact with Ryan Dempster's agent about possibly returning next year

Why would the Cubs want Dempster's agent next year?
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

Gilgamesh

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2012, 03:20:21 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 01, 2012, 03:16:50 PM
Quote from: PANK! on November 01, 2012, 03:14:41 PM
Oh, for fuck's sake. *pop*

That, my friends, is the sound of an aneurysm.

This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

World's #1 Astros Fan

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2012, 03:23:19 PM »
Quote from: Gilgamesh on November 01, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
Quote from: Tonker on November 01, 2012, 03:16:50 PM
Quote from: PANK! on November 01, 2012, 03:14:41 PM
Oh, for fuck's sake. *pop*

That, my friends, is the sound of an aneurysm.



Had he not abandoned Desipio, Kerm would be known as the "Hate Dempster" guy around here.  Pretty sure his head's closer to exploding than mine is.
Just a sloppy, undisciplined team.  Garbage.

--SKO, on the 2018 Chicago Cubs

Saul Goodman

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2012, 07:35:24 PM »
Quote from: PenPho on November 01, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
Seems as good a place as any to start...

Quote from: Muskrat
#Cubs have been in contact with Ryan Dempster's agent about possibly returning next year

This may actually be a good thing.  The team gets more and more anonymous and less hatable.  Justin Germano?  Chris Rusin?  Luis Valbuena?  Who are these guys?  I don't hate them because I feel sorry for them.  Dempster will help me mend my hatin' heart.
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest, it's a free country.  But how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?

PenPho

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2012, 10:15:50 AM »
Quote from: Sterling Archer on November 01, 2012, 07:35:24 PM
Quote from: PenPho on November 01, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
Seems as good a place as any to start...

Quote from: Muskrat
#Cubs have been in contact with Ryan Dempster's agent about possibly returning next year

This may actually be a good thing.  The team gets more and more anonymous and less hatable.  Justin Germano?  Chris Rusin?  Luis Valbuena?  Who are these guys?  I don't hate them because I feel sorry for them.  Dempster will help me mend my hatin' heart.

I'd actually rather they tried to win than be hateable.
"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

Brownie

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Re: Cubs 2012-2013 Offseason "Epstink is Terrible" Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2012, 10:37:25 AM »
Quote from: PenPho on November 02, 2012, 10:15:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on November 01, 2012, 07:35:24 PM
Quote from: PenPho on November 01, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
Seems as good a place as any to start...

Quote from: Muskrat
#Cubs have been in contact with Ryan Dempster's agent about possibly returning next year

This may actually be a good thing.  The team gets more and more anonymous and less hatable.  Justin Germano?  Chris Rusin?  Luis Valbuena?  Who are these guys?  I don't hate them because I feel sorry for them.  Dempster will help me mend my hatin' heart.

I'd actually rather they tried to win than be hateable.

And if they're going to be shitty, obscure shitty players are the way to go. Mike D. and I can run the bar trivia circuit and make our living in wings and free draft beers.