Jorge Soler Zero Percent Financing Thud On The Shower Door SPLOOGE Fest

[Eli]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

[SKO]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

[Quality Start Machine]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

[InternetApex]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

[Yeti]

Jorge Soler is Spanish for Andre Dawson.

I get that Andrew Dawson is revered, but they're not that similar of players. I actually really like Maddon's comp of Vladimir Guerrero with actual plate discipline. Which is just so bonerific a thought I can barely handle it.

Speaking of, Vlad Jr. is available in the international free agent pool this year. Do it, Theo

[SKO]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

[InternetApex]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

It seemed like poor managing. But the Reds bullpen really puts them in a bind. Other than Chapman it's a total shitshow down there. If you're going to use Chapman at all, he needs to be warming up. Starting the inning with him in a tie game on the road is a desperation move which shows zero faith in your middle relief on April 13. But was Chapman warming up as soon as Parra started to shit the tub? If so, and he used Badenhoop instead, woah...

[PenFoe]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

It seemed like poor managing. But the Reds bullpen really puts them in a bind. Other than Chapman it's a total shitshow down there. If you're going to use Chapman at all, he needs to be warming up. Starting the inning with him in a tie game on the road is a desperation move which shows zero faith in your middle relief on April 13. But was Chapman warming up as soon as Parra started to shit the tub? If so, and he used Badenhoop instead, woah...

I saw online that Chapman did warm up earlier but then set down, fueling speculation that he wasn't feeling it. 

Otherwise, terrible managing.

[InternetApex]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

It seemed like poor managing. But the Reds bullpen really puts them in a bind. Other than Chapman it's a total shitshow down there. If you're going to use Chapman at all, he needs to be warming up. Starting the inning with him in a tie game on the road is a desperation move which shows zero faith in your middle relief on April 13. But was Chapman warming up as soon as Parra started to shit the tub? If so, and he used Badenhoop instead, woah...

I saw online that Chapman did warm up earlier but then set down, fueling speculation that he wasn't feeling it. 

Otherwise, terrible managing.

Earlier, meaning the 8th when they had the lead or the 9th/10th? It makes a big difference.

[PenFoe]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

It seemed like poor managing. But the Reds bullpen really puts them in a bind. Other than Chapman it's a total shitshow down there. If you're going to use Chapman at all, he needs to be warming up. Starting the inning with him in a tie game on the road is a desperation move which shows zero faith in your middle relief on April 13. But was Chapman warming up as soon as Parra started to shit the tub? If so, and he used Badenhoop instead, woah...

I saw online that Chapman did warm up earlier but then set down, fueling speculation that he wasn't feeling it. 

Otherwise, terrible managing.

Earlier, meaning the 8th when they had the lead or the 9th/10th? It makes a big difference.

The 8th. 

Point being, I believe he deemed himself unavailable for use.

[InternetApex]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

I still can't believe they tried three straight fastballs. How long do they think it takes Jorge to time those?!

Speaking of fastballs, was there ever an explanation as to why Chapman never went in?

Gotta save your closer if you don't have a lead on the road, dude. And he did pitch in a loss the previous night. I didn't see him warming up in the 10th. Was he? 

Mike Matheny nods in approval.

It seemed like poor managing. But the Reds bullpen really puts them in a bind. Other than Chapman it's a total shitshow down there. If you're going to use Chapman at all, he needs to be warming up. Starting the inning with him in a tie game on the road is a desperation move which shows zero faith in your middle relief on April 13. But was Chapman warming up as soon as Parra started to shit the tub? If so, and he used Badenhoop instead, woah...

I saw online that Chapman did warm up earlier but then set down, fueling speculation that he wasn't feeling it. 

Otherwise, terrible managing.

Earlier, meaning the 8th when they had the lead or the 9th/10th? It makes a big difference.

The 8th. 

Point being, I believe he deemed himself unavailable for use.

Told you this, did he?

[CT III]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

For some reason I was thinking that this year's Cubs might be similar to the 2001, a few nice bats, with some better pitching.  And apparently I forgot what a goddamned beast Sosa was that year.  203 OPS+, 10.3 WAR.  I guess I always think of '98 as his best season since it gets the most hype thanks to the home run chase with McGwire and the team reaching the playoffs, but sweet baby Jesus, those numbers in '01 are goddamned incredible.

[ChuckD]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

For some reason I was thinking that this year's Cubs might be similar to the 2001, a few nice bats, with some better pitching.  And apparently I forgot what a goddamned beast Sosa was that year.  203 OPS+, 10.3 WAR.  I guess I always think of '98 as his best season since it gets the most hype thanks to the home run chase with McGwire and the team reaching the playoffs, but sweet baby Jesus, those numbers in '01 are goddamned incredible.

How many % of the way to home plate was he (practically) when he stepped up to home plate?

[CT III]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

For some reason I was thinking that this year's Cubs might be similar to the 2001, a few nice bats, with some better pitching.  And apparently I forgot what a goddamned beast Sosa was that year.  203 OPS+, 10.3 WAR.  I guess I always think of '98 as his best season since it gets the most hype thanks to the home run chase with McGwire and the team reaching the playoffs, but sweet baby Jesus, those numbers in '01 are goddamned incredible.

How many % of the way to home plate was he (practically) when he stepped up to home plate?

Ironically, zero.

[Eli]

Sosa and Soriano would have been road beef on that.

Soriano, probably. Sammy? We'd never know, because he would've taken that down-the-middle fastball from earlier in the at-bat off the new scoreboard.

For some reason I was thinking that this year's Cubs might be similar to the 2001, a few nice bats, with some better pitching.  And apparently I forgot what a goddamned beast Sosa was that year.  203 OPS+, 10.3 WAR.  I guess I always think of '98 as his best season since it gets the most hype thanks to the home run chase with McGwire and the team reaching the playoffs, but sweet baby Jesus, those numbers in '01 are goddamned incredible.

I have a vague recollection of his August that year and how he basically single-handedly kept them in the playoff hunt. 17 homers and a 1.405 OPS that month, which is about 300 points better than June of 1998, which more people probably remember.

This is the most Huey I've ever felt.