Twatheads Twittering

[Shooter]

Salesmen!

For realsies though: WTF does that even mean?

Wait--does the person making the point that the Cubs are *truly* only 10 games over .500 have a point and of so, can someone explain to me the logic (Bruce's post didn't really help me in that regard?

Secondly...  Is the person who e-mailed Bruce believed to be Chuck?  That might clue me in here. Otherwise I'm a little lost.

B) This was a running bit on the old ESPN 1000 Bill Simonson Huge Show about how to determine games over .500. Simonson would do the "It's only 10, not 20" thing to drum up stupid callers.  I suppose I'm friendly enough with Bruce that I got suckered in to answering.  I'm guessing Bruce was smart enough to never have listened to Simonson.

Nobody should have listened to Bill Simonson enough to recognize a running bit.

[Eli]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

[Bort]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

Pretty strange that Jason Hammel took time to tweet that as soon as the game that he started ended.  The original, offending tweet, was made about 6 months ago and was bumped by some asshat with 1 Follower and following 1 person who had apparently joined Twitter so that he could try hitting up major leaguers for free Pearl Jam tickets.  He figured he could score points by acting as a white knight for Hammel, and went on to say that Hammel's been "lights out" for over a year now.  Blech.

[SKO]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

Pretty strange that Jason Hammel took time to tweet that as soon as the game that he started ended.  The original, offending tweet, was made about 6 months ago and was bumped by some asshat with 1 Follower and following 1 person who had apparently joined Twitter so that he could try hitting up major leaguers for free Pearl Jam tickets.  He figured he could score points by acting as a white knight for Hammel, and went on to say that Hammel's been "lights out" for over a year now.  Blech.Jason Hammel owned my dumb ass on twitter.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

Pretty strange that Jason Hammel took time to tweet that as soon as the game that he started ended.  The original, offending tweet, was made about 6 months ago and was bumped by some asshat with 1 Follower and following 1 person who had apparently joined Twitter so that he could try hitting up major leaguers for free Pearl Jam tickets.  He figured he could score points by acting as a white knight for Hammel, and went on to say that Hammel's been "lights out" for over a year now.  Blech.Jason Hammel owned my dumb ass on twitter.

Oh is that what happened?  

[Bort]

https://twitter.com/HammelTime39/status/747181010903785472

Pretty strange that Jason Hammel took time to tweet that as soon as the game that he started ended.  The original, offending tweet, was made about 6 months ago and was bumped by some asshat with 1 Follower and following 1 person who had apparently joined Twitter so that he could try hitting up major leaguers for free Pearl Jam tickets.  He figured he could score points by acting as a white knight for Hammel, and went on to say that Hammel's been "lights out" for over a year now.  Blech.Jason Hammel owned my dumb ass on twitter.

Oh is that what happened? 

History belongs to the victors, Huard.

[R-V]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

[SKO]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

I'm still not cognizant enough of the nuances your pajama party to feel like I was owned, sorry if that strikes you as obtuse...I mean, does Jason Hammel's strong start to the season erase the fact that he was ass in the second half of last year, thus covering my face in yolky goodness?  Seems as though his second half of 2016 hasn't even begun, so I think it might be a bit premature to think he's owning me based on the last 10 weeks.  I would volunteer that it might be a bit premature for this guy to be crowing to his haters at this juncture but hey--you're the Twitter experts so if you say I've been owned and that I'm asshurt I guess it must be true.

[SKO]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

[Eli]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

I'm still not cognizant enough of the nuances your pajama party to feel like I was owned, sorry if that strikes you as obtuse...I mean, does Jason Hammel's strong start to the season erase the fact that he was ass in the second half of last year, thus covering my face in yolky goodness?  Seems as though his second half of 2016 hasn't even begun, so I think it might be a bit premature to think he's owning me based on the last 10 weeks.  I would volunteer that it might be a bit premature for this guy to be crowing to his haters at this juncture but hey--you're the Twitter experts so if you say I've been owned and that I'm asshurt I guess it must be true.

I am not a Twitter ownage expert (as I have never been owned myself), but I think it's more the fact that Jason Hammel appears to have noticed your insult and responded to it by pointing out that you still follow him on Twitter.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Huey feeling butthurt about getting his ass owned to the maximum extent allowed by law makes this even more enjoyable.

I'm still not cognizant enough of the nuances your pajama party to feel like I was owned, sorry if that strikes you as obtuse...I mean, does Jason Hammel's strong start to the season erase the fact that he was ass in the second half of last year, thus covering my face in yolky goodness?  Seems as though his second half of 2016 hasn't even begun, so I think it might be a bit premature to think he's owning me based on the last 10 weeks.  I would volunteer that it might be a bit premature for this guy to be crowing to his haters at this juncture but hey--you're the Twitter experts so if you say I've been owned and that I'm asshurt I guess it must be true.

I am not a Twitter ownage expert (as I have never been owned myself), but I think it's more the fact that Jason Hammel appears to have noticed your insult and responded to it by pointing out that you still follow him on Twitter.

And that's what qualifies as an owning?  Jesus, Twitter is gayer than high school.

I didn't know folks were supposed to stop following people after they publicly insulted them.  I think I need to unfollow like half the people I follow now.

[Bort]

Huey was only owned so he could get directions away from being owned.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Now that Eli has enlightened me, I will accept my ownage--but I stand by my assertion that the unwritten rules of Twitter are stupider than the unwritten rules of baseball.