Desipio Message Board

General Category => Desipio Lounge => Topic started by: SKO on April 25, 2011, 07:19:45 PM

Title: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 25, 2011, 07:19:45 PM
Might as well enjoy it while we can. Splooge for his 2 run homer in the first inning.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Internet Apex on April 25, 2011, 11:01:15 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 25, 2011, 07:19:45 PM
Might as well enjoy it while we can. Splooge for his 2 run homer in the first inning.

I enjoyed it for about 2 minutes until my FF button caught up with the (insert shitty Illinois basketball player)ian performance by my guy Starlin. D'angelo Hall just called a radio station somewhere and called Starlin a clown. But D'angelo Hall is still a tard.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 26, 2011, 08:40:40 AM
I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on April 26, 2011, 08:57:13 AM
Quote from: Slaky on April 26, 2011, 08:40:40 AM
I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.

Thank you. I was just telling this to my stepdad on Sunday, and I said those exact words
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 09:11:48 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 26, 2011, 08:57:13 AM
Quote from: Slaky on April 26, 2011, 08:40:40 AM
I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.

Thank you. I was just telling this to my stepdad on Sunday, and I said those exact words

I just read Andy Dolan's excellent post comparing Barney and Theriot and while I'm not even semi-hard for Barney, I do not hate him enough to label him an Asian Theriot. Yet.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: PenPho on April 26, 2011, 11:38:30 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Gilgamesh on April 26, 2011, 11:39:33 AM
Quote from: PenPho on April 26, 2011, 11:38:30 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.

Can the Cubs afford 40 purple, plush costumes?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on April 26, 2011, 11:42:20 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh on April 26, 2011, 11:39:33 AM
Quote from: PenPho on April 26, 2011, 11:38:30 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.

Can the Cubs afford 40 purple, plush costumes?

Quiet. You will bring Andy Stern out of retirement.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:44:28 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:46:36 AM
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:44:28 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Which is almost as bad as racism.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on April 26, 2011, 11:50:19 AM
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:44:28 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Idito. The difference between Fukodume and Theriot was that Theriot was a HOME GROWN KUBBEE TALENT. You boo free agents when they flop, you don't boo a guy who was taught for years what it's like to be a cub, wearing cubbie blue, learning lessons from teh Cubs legends in spring training. A guy who gets it. Theriot was a simple man, who had no expectations, then VOILA, he saved our butts time and time again. And he was ours from the start. All ours. Chief on that, dark skins.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:51:49 AM
Quote from: BH on April 26, 2011, 11:50:19 AM
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 26, 2011, 11:44:28 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:16:15 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:15:07 AM
Quote from: Bort on April 26, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Quote from: Tony on April 26, 2011, 10:10:08 AM
I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Idito. The difference between Fukodume and Theriot was that Theriot was a HOME GROWN KUBBEE TALENT. You boo free agents when they flop, you don't boo a guy who was taught for years what it's like to be a cub, wearing cubbie blue, learning lessons from teh Cubs legends in spring training. A guy who gets it. Theriot was a simple man, who had no expectations, then VOILA, he saved our butts time and time again. And he was ours from the start. All ours. Chief on that, dark skins.

And I laughed.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Lance Dicksons Arm on April 30, 2011, 12:39:29 PM
15 posts, and nary a mention of his GRIT.   You should all be ashamed.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 30, 2011, 09:00:11 PM
Quote from: Lance Dicksons Arm on April 30, 2011, 12:39:29 PM
15 posts, and nary a mention of his GRIT.   You should all be ashamed.

Blake Dewitt's stubbliness laughs at Barney's grit.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 30, 2011, 09:40:47 PM
Uh, game winning RBI splooge? Jesus, Asian Theriot won't stop doing good stuff.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: flannj on July 08, 2011, 07:49:13 AM
Quote from: Slaky on April 30, 2011, 09:40:47 PM
Uh, game winning RBI splooge? Jesus, Asian Theriot won't stop doing good stuff.

I'm confused, am I supposed to hate him or what?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: BBM on July 08, 2011, 08:27:23 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

STATFAG! DAT GUY IS CLUTCH MY FRENT UNLIKE DAT CATRO GUY.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on July 08, 2011, 06:35:24 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

It's not about what you would expect but the constant Barney Blow Jobs that everyone seems to be handing out. He's fooling everyone.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2012, 08:33:56 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/0v2X0.jpg)

"What's up, dickheads?"
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on July 03, 2012, 07:25:15 AM
Two great plays by Darwin in the 8th last night.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 03, 2012, 08:29:32 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 03, 2012, 07:25:15 AM
Two great plays by Darwin in the 8th last night.

Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2012, 08:33:56 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/0v2X0.jpg)

"What's up, dickheads?"
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on July 03, 2012, 03:04:45 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Richard Chuggar on July 03, 2012, 03:15:21 PM
Quote from: Slaky on July 03, 2012, 03:04:45 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/168879_10151779293360344_1996753727_n.jpg)
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 03, 2012, 07:19:31 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 03, 2012, 03:15:21 PM
Quote from: Slaky on July 03, 2012, 03:04:45 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/168879_10151779293360344_1996753727_n.jpg)

Did Slak strut at all following this pose?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 04, 2012, 12:37:17 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 03, 2012, 03:15:21 PM
Quote from: Slaky on July 03, 2012, 03:04:45 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/168879_10151779293360344_1996753727_n.jpg)

Make that two reminders.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on July 04, 2012, 03:21:32 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 04, 2012, 12:37:17 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 03, 2012, 03:15:21 PM
Quote from: Slaky on July 03, 2012, 03:04:45 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 02, 2012, 09:50:43 PM
Quote from: Richard Chuggar on July 08, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
Quote from: Alrish Yeltin on July 08, 2011, 08:23:49 AM
Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/168879_10151779293360344_1996753727_n.jpg)

Make that two reminders.

Three.

(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/2323/19978210150106511544366.jpg)
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:39:46 AM
At the Iowa Cubs games Friday night Darwin was starting at SS for the visiting Oklahoma City Dodgers. I said "Hi Darwin!" before the game and he looked at me and that is a man whose soul has been crushed by having to play baseball in Iowa and Oklahoma City again. I kinda felt bad for him.

The crowd gave him huge ovations every time he came to the plate. It was embarrassing.
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on April 20, 2015, 01:34:01 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:39:46 AM
At the Iowa Cubs games Friday night Darwin was starting at SS for the visiting Oklahoma City Dodgers. I said "Hi Darwin!" before the game and he looked at me and that is a man whose soul has been crushed by having to play baseball in Iowa and Oklahoma City again. I kinda felt bad for him.

The crowd gave him huge ovations every time he came to the plate. It was embarrassing.

Why?
Title: Re: The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 01:35:24 PM
Quote from: Tony on April 20, 2015, 01:34:01 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:39:46 AM
At the Iowa Cubs games Friday night Darwin was starting at SS for the visiting Oklahoma City Dodgers. I said "Hi Darwin!" before the game and he looked at me and that is a man whose soul has been crushed by having to play baseball in Iowa and Oklahoma City again. I kinda felt bad for him.

The crowd gave him huge ovations every time he came to the plate. It was embarrassing.

Why?

Because Asian Theriot still has many followers, and if y'all think meatball Cubs fans in Chicago are bad, they have NOTHING on meatball Cubs fans in Iowa.

I heard so many people complain that the Cubs wronged him my blood boiled. I mean it doesnt' take much to set my blood boiling, but still.