Desipio Message Board

General Category => You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Kiss Eight Bucks Goodbye => Topic started by: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM

Title: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
Don't bother.  If Tom Clancy hadn't undoubtedly made a shedload of cash out of this travesty, he'd be spinning in his grave.  Chris Pine is totally unconvincing (maybe Dane Cook would have been the smart choice?), Ken Branagh has no fucking shame, apparently, and Keira Knightley can fuck right off - I actively wanted her to die.  Kevin Costner is watchable.

The Bourne trilogy (especially "Ultimatum") did this kind of thing way, way better.

Man, I don't half watch a lot of shitty films.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:11:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
(maybe Dane Cook would have been the smart choice?)

Very nice.

Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
Kevin Costner is watchable.

Oh, man... You're just actively begging for it, aren't you?
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:25:23 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It's right there in the thread title, Stew: "Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit".  At least, I think that's what it was called: it's the only title that makes sense.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:26:18 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:11:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
(maybe Dane Cook would have been the smart choice?)

Very nice.

Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
Kevin Costner is watchable.

Oh, man... You're just actively begging for it, aren't you?

You haven't seen the other film review I posted this morning, then?
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:30:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:26:18 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:11:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
(maybe Dane Cook would have been the smart choice?)

Very nice.

Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 02:59:26 AM
Kevin Costner is watchable.

Oh, man... You're just actively begging for it, aren't you?

You haven't seen the other film review I posted this morning, then?

I have.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:00:11 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

THE BEST ROBIN HOOD WAS THAT FOX IN THE DISNEY ONE AND I HAVE SEVERAL HASTILY DRAWN PIE CHARTS ON NAPKINS TO PROVE IT N
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: flannj on July 04, 2014, 10:34:06 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

Waterworld was about baseball?
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on July 04, 2014, 11:17:30 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

Until he tries it a third time. He even made me dislike Vin Scully for a few minutes.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 04, 2014, 11:28:44 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

a) Bull Durham is good, but not necessarily because of Costner

b) Field of Dreams is bogus
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Tonker on July 05, 2014, 02:06:51 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 04, 2014, 11:17:30 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

Until he tries it a third time. He even made me dislike Vin Scully for a few minutes.

You may scoff at "For the Love of the Game" but back in 2000, I'd just moved to Munich and there was absolutely no baseball on telly.  None.  I only had a 56k modem, so mlb.tv was no good to me (although I did subscribe to the audio and used to listen to Pat Hughes & Ron Santo) and there was no Youtube yet.  That film was a much-needed - if pretty weak - hit for a desperate addict.

That, and Kevin Costner was very watchable.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: CBStew on July 05, 2014, 10:19:45 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 05, 2014, 02:06:51 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 04, 2014, 11:17:30 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

Until he tries it a third time. He even made me dislike Vin Scully for a few minutes.

You may scoff at "For the Love of the Game" but back in 2000, I'd just moved to Munich and there was absolutely no baseball on telly.  None.  I only had a 56k modem, so mlb.tv was no good to me (although I did subscribe to the audio and used to listen to Pat Hughes & Ron Santo) and there was no Youtube yet.  That film was a much-needed - if pretty weak - hit for a desperate addict.

That, and Kevin Costner was very watchable.

You can probably get treatment for that.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Bort on July 05, 2014, 01:05:19 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 04, 2014, 11:28:44 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

a) Bull Durham is good, but not necessarily because of Costner

b) Field of Dreams is bogus

That doesn't say anything to contradict what I said about his performance.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on July 05, 2014, 04:35:20 PM
Quote from: Tonker on July 05, 2014, 02:06:51 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 04, 2014, 11:17:30 PM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:02:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 03, 2014, 08:23:34 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Just showed Eldest Murton Bull Durham last night. Actually had forgotten Costner was good in that.

DPD.

The more directly the movie is about playing baseball, the better Costner is.

Until he tries it a third time. He even made me dislike Vin Scully for a few minutes.

You may scoff at "For the Love of the Game" but back in 2000, I'd just moved to Munich and there was absolutely no baseball on telly.  None.  I only had a 56k modem, so mlb.tv was no good to me (although I did subscribe to the audio and used to listen to Pat Hughes & Ron Santo) and there was no Youtube yet.  That film was a much-needed - if pretty weak - hit for a desperate addict.

That, and Kevin Costner was very watchable.

So, you were Jonesing and Costner and John Travolta's beard were the shitty H that was available. Yeah, that seems to be the only way that movie could be seen as good.

Kelly Preston is perfect for Costner as neither can outshine the other.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: CBStew on July 05, 2014, 09:53:41 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

Wait.  What?  Errol Flynn owned Robin Hood. 
(...and Gene Kelly couldn't shine Fred Astaire's tap shoes.)
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: CT III on July 06, 2014, 10:37:14 AM
Quote from: Bort on July 04, 2014, 09:00:11 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 03, 2014, 12:14:40 AM
Quote from: Tonker on July 02, 2014, 09:40:14 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 02, 2014, 09:29:40 AM
Quote from: CBStew on July 02, 2014, 09:21:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

THE BEST ROBIN HOOD WAS THAT FOX IN THE DISNEY ONE AND I HAVE SEVERAL HASTILY DRAWN PIE CHARTS ON NAPKINS TO PROVE IT N

This is the fuckin' truth.
Title: Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit
Post by: SKO on July 07, 2014, 08:47:14 AM
Field of Dreams does not suck. Y'all can go straight to hell.



But let me tell you about Draft Day....