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General Category => Desipio Lounge => Topic started by: SKO on June 22, 2017, 08:02:18 AM

Poll
Question: Which one?
Option 1: Montero G1 NLCS 2016 votes: 2
Option 2: Schwarber NLDS G4 2015 votes: 0
Option 3: Bryant G5 WS 2016 votes: 7
Option 4: Russell G6 WS 2016 votes: 2
Option 5: Fowler G7 WS 2016 votes: 0
Option 6: Baez G7 WS 2016 votes: 0
Option 7: Ross G7 WS 2017 votes: 3
Option 8: Russell G4 NLCS 2016 votes: 0
Option 9: Baez G1 NLDS 2016 votes: 1
Option 10: Fork votes: 4
Title: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 22, 2017, 08:02:18 AM
Montero responded to a troll on twitter saying he "hit the biggest homer in Cubs history" and while I will grant that Miguel arguably drove in the biggest run in Cubs history (unless you count Zobrist's as the "game-winning hit" as the box score does), the home run thing is debatable.

Challengers:

Schwarber G4 Against the Cardinals= in context not actually the most important in terms of win probability added, but I think it's come to be seen as a major turning point in franchise history.

Baez G1 vs Giants= if he doesn't hit that dinger they might end up facing Cueto in a win or die situation in the first round.

Russell G4 vs the Dodgers= broke that incredibly awful long scoreless streak and gave the Cubs the lead/unleashed the floodgates when they looked momentarily in danger of going down 3-1 with Kershaw looming.

Bryant G5 of the World Series= 5 innings away from going home and trailing, Bryant dingers and saved the season, also broke Bauer's fragile psyche enough to allow Rizzo to nearly go back to back, setting up the go ahead runs.

Russell G6 Grand Slam= broke that one open and guaranteed Game 7.

Any of the Game 7 Dingers= in the end they needed all of them.





Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2017, 08:32:07 AM
Voted KB because it *felt* like the Cubs hadn't scored a run in about a million years at that point.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 22, 2017, 08:34:43 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2017, 08:32:07 AM
Voted KB because it *felt* like the Cubs hadn't scored a run in about a million years at that point.

Yeah that was my vote as well. A buddy of mine argued Schwarber, and while I get the sentiment that was arguably not even the most important homer of that game, which was probably either Baez' forever awesome shot off Lackey to give the Cubs the lead after Hammel had immediately shat himself, or Rizzo's go-ahead dinger off Siegrist.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Oleg on June 22, 2017, 08:35:14 AM
If the poll is to be believed, the Ross home run in Game 7 of the 2017 World Series is going to be beyond epic.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 08:36:18 AM
What about the Schwarber homer into the Allegheny which helped them snap a 9-game postseason losing streak?

Bryant's in G5 of the World Series  is probably the pick; I was just surprised that Schwarber's HR in the coinflip game wasn't among the choices.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 08:37:54 AM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2017, 08:35:14 AM
If the poll is to be believed, the Ross home run in Game 7 of the 2017 World Series is going to be beyond epic.

I'm not looking forward to going through the torment of another 7-game World Series but if it means the astonishing return of David Ross--who proceeds to hit another Game 7 home run--then I'm okay with it.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Oleg on June 22, 2017, 08:38:38 AM
Also, I think it's pretty cool that Baez and Russell each have claims to two of the biggest HRs in our lifetimes.  I mean, having this many SS is going to be a real problem one day.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 08:40:39 AM
I would also add, just to balance the scales of history, Bob Dernier to lead of the 1984 NLCS--the Cubs' first trip to the postseason in 39 years--and of course Hartnett's Homer in the Gloamin' in '38.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 22, 2017, 08:56:38 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 08:37:54 AM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2017, 08:35:14 AM
If the poll is to be believed, the Ross home run in Game 7 of the 2017 World Series is going to be beyond epic.

I'm not looking forward to going through the torment of another 7-game World Series but if it means the astonishing return of David Ross--who proceeds to hit another Game 7 home run--then I'm okay with it.

That game is going to have everything. Three visits from Morganna the Kissing Bandit and the astonishing return of David Ross.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 08:57:37 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2017, 08:56:38 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 08:37:54 AM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2017, 08:35:14 AM
If the poll is to be believed, the Ross home run in Game 7 of the 2017 World Series is going to be beyond epic.

I'm not looking forward to going through the torment of another 7-game World Series but if it means the astonishing return of David Ross--who proceeds to hit another Game 7 home run--then I'm okay with it.

That game is going to have everything. Three visits from Morganna the Kissing Bandit and the astonishing return of David Ross.

Thank you for smelling what I was as cooking there with The Simpsons' Keith Jackson impression.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 22, 2017, 10:26:10 AM
Sosa in Game 1 of the 2013 NLCS?

Ramirez' grand slam in Game 4 that year?

Shit, Kerry Wood's in Game 7, when we were all sure we were headed for the Series before getting kicked in the dick tip yet again?
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2017, 10:29:14 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 22, 2017, 10:26:10 AM
Sosa in Game 1 of the 2013 NLCS?

Ramirez' grand slam in Game 4 that year?

Shit, Kerry Wood's in Game 7, when we were all sure we were headed for the Series before getting kicked in the dick tip yet again?

Glenallen's rooftop ride or GTFO
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 22, 2017, 10:31:21 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2017, 10:29:14 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 22, 2017, 10:26:10 AM
Sosa in Game 1 of the 2013 NLCS?

Ramirez' grand slam in Game 4 that year?

Shit, Kerry Wood's in Game 7, when we were all sure we were headed for the Series before getting kicked in the dick tip yet again?

Glenallen's rooftop ride or GTFO

His kidneys shrunk 3 sizes that day.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:35:47 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 08:40:39 AM
I would also add, just to balance the scales of history, Bob Dernier to lead of the 1984 NLCS--the Cubs' first trip to the postseason in 39 years--and of course Hartnett's Homer in the Gloamin' in '38.

Gabby thinks what Miggy said was cute. He also knows a guy, in case Miggy or SKO care to forget about him.

(https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/chicago-cubs-player-gabby-hartnett-everett.jpg)
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:43:14 AM
How about this one? (http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/63106348/v1210063283/ws2016-gm4-miller-allows-first-postseason-run)

Cubs are getting totally demoralized by the Indians and Andrew Miller is doing a lot of the demoralizing.

His postseason ERA prior to the Dexter Fowler at-bat: 0.0. His ERA from that AB on, 8.10.

Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:53:06 AM
Joe Tinker also wants a word with SKO and Miggy. (http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN190810110.shtml)

1908 World Series, Game 2 at the West Side Grounds. Bill Donovan and Orval Overall are matching each other pitch for pitch into the bottom of the 8th. With the game still scoreless, Harry Steinfeldt leads off the bottom of the 8th and strikes out. Solly Hoffman singles, bringing up Joe Tinker, who blasts an opposite-field two-run jack to give the Cubs the lead. The Cubs erupt for 4 more in the eighth, and the Tigers score one run on a Ty Cobb RBI single. Had Tinker made an out instead of homering, the Cubs likely do not score in the eighth, and maybe Donovan or the Tigers 1908 version of Willie Hernandez closes it to even the series. Detroit won Game 3, so the Tigers would have had a 2-1 series lead, and the all-important momentum on their side. They might have won the World Series and the Ricketts would have had to have put one more diamond on the rings and give out one more for symmetry's sake.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 10:59:27 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:43:14 AM
How about this one? (http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/63106348/v1210063283/ws2016-gm4-miller-allows-first-postseason-run)

Cubs are getting totally demoralized by the Indians and Andrew Miller is doing a lot of the demoralizing.

His postseason ERA prior to the Dexter Fowler at-bat: 0.0. His ERA from that AB on, 8.10.



A noteworthy homer, to be sure, as it was the first one hit in a World Series game by a Cub since Cavaretta did it in Game 1 in 1945  (the only HR for the Cubs in that Series), and the first one hit by a Cub at Wrigley Field in over 81 years (Chuck Klein, Game 4 in 1935 off Schoolboy Row).  It was about the only thing I could hang my hat on as an attendee at what was the worst game (for the Cubs) of the World Series (insert another hearty FUCK YOU to John Lackey here)
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 11:02:33 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 10:59:27 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:43:14 AM
How about this one? (http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/63106348/v1210063283/ws2016-gm4-miller-allows-first-postseason-run)

Cubs are getting totally demoralized by the Indians and Andrew Miller is doing a lot of the demoralizing.

His postseason ERA prior to the Dexter Fowler at-bat: 0.0. His ERA from that AB on, 8.10.



A noteworthy homer, to be sure, as it was the first one hit in a World Series game by a Cub since Cavaretta did it in Game 1 in 1945  (the only HR for the Cubs in that Series), and the first one hit by a Cub at Wrigley Field in over 81 years (Chuck Klein, Game 4 in 1935 off Schoolboy Row).  It was about the only thing I could hang my hat on as an attendee at what was the worst game (for the Cubs) of the World Series (insert another hearty FUCK YOU to John Lackey here)

Was it Eff-you John Lackey or PUT ON A GODDAMN SHIRT AND CUT YOUR HAIR YOU REDNECK TRAVIS WOOD OR GO TO THE KANSAS CITY ROYALS AND SUCK THERE IN OBSCURITY?  The 3-run homer by Kipnis off Wood put the game out of reach. Had Fowler's HR made it 4-2, it would have maybe been a different story for the Clevelands.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 11:07:09 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 11:02:33 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 10:59:27 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:43:14 AM
How about this one? (http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/63106348/v1210063283/ws2016-gm4-miller-allows-first-postseason-run)

Cubs are getting totally demoralized by the Indians and Andrew Miller is doing a lot of the demoralizing.

His postseason ERA prior to the Dexter Fowler at-bat: 0.0. His ERA from that AB on, 8.10.



A noteworthy homer, to be sure, as it was the first one hit in a World Series game by a Cub since Cavaretta did it in Game 1 in 1945  (the only HR for the Cubs in that Series), and the first one hit by a Cub at Wrigley Field in over 81 years (Chuck Klein, Game 4 in 1935 off Schoolboy Row).  It was about the only thing I could hang my hat on as an attendee at what was the worst game (for the Cubs) of the World Series (insert another hearty FUCK YOU to John Lackey here)

Was it Eff-you John Lackey or PUT ON A GODDAMN SHIRT AND CUT YOUR HAIR YOU REDNECK TRAVIS WOOD OR GO TO THE KANSAS CITY ROYALS AND SUCK THERE IN OBSCURITY?  The 3-run homer by Kipnis off Wood put the game out of reach. Had Fowler's HR made it 4-2, it would have maybe been a different story for the Clevelands.

No.  Lackey was signed because he supposedly had BIG GAME CAJONES and the Cubs staked him to a first-inning lead which he frittered away.  I'll grant that he had little help behind him that night--definitely the worst defensive game for the Cubs  in the Series-- but fuck him anyway.  Travis Wood stepped into Game 2 of the NLDS when Hendricks was knocked out with a line-drive, got the W and hit a HR and in any event don't TRY TO TAKE MY FOCUS OFF LACKEY TJ!
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: CBStew on June 22, 2017, 03:04:43 PM
Quote from: Brownie on June 22, 2017, 10:35:47 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 22, 2017, 08:40:39 AM
I would also add, just to balance the scales of history, Bob Dernier to lead of the 1984 NLCS--the Cubs' first trip to the postseason in 39 years--and of course Hartnett's Homer in the Gloamin' in '38.

Gabby thinks what Miggy said was cute. He also knows a guy, in case Miggy or SKO care to forget about him.

(https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/chicago-cubs-player-gabby-hartnett-everett.jpg)
I am going with Hartnett's "Homer in the Gloamin' " as the most memorable homerun in my lifetime.  Also, I think that this picture of Gabby and Scarface is worthy of a re-post.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 22, 2017, 11:28:18 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I'm okay with that.  So long Bobby D., Gabby, and Joe Tinker!

*cuts cord*
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Brownie on June 23, 2017, 07:51:13 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.

Hartnett's homer won the pennant and gave them a shot against the 1938 Yankees.

Joe Tinker hit a go ahead HR to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead in the World Series. They proceeded to win just 11 World Series games between that date and October 25, 2016.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Eli on June 23, 2017, 08:04:42 AM
It was probably Ron Santo.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:16:59 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 23, 2017, 07:51:13 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.

Hartnett's homer won the pennant and gave them a shot against the 1938 Yankees.

Joe Tinker hit a go ahead HR to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead in the World Series. They proceeded to win just 11 World Series games between that date and October 25, 2016.

And they lost. Now I'm a little out there with this, but I daresay winning the world series>>not winning it.

Also, sorry, I am going to prioritize something happening in the modern, big money, televised, greatest-athletes-in-the-world-in-peak-condition era over something that happened when a bunch of drunk Irishmen and inveterate gamblers named Hoss were playing against only other white people.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 23, 2017, 08:25:40 AM

I know it doesn't qualify, but Hank Sauer having two separate 3HR games where all the dongs were off Curt Simmons is the balls.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: flannj on June 23, 2017, 08:29:44 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:16:59 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 23, 2017, 07:51:13 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.

Hartnett's homer won the pennant and gave them a shot against the 1938 Yankees.

Joe Tinker hit a go ahead HR to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead in the World Series. They proceeded to win just 11 World Series games between that date and October 25, 2016.

And they lost. Now I'm a little out there with this, but I daresay winning the world series>>not winning it.

Also, sorry, I am going to prioritize something happening in the modern, big money, televised, greatest-athletes-in-the-world-in-peak-condition era over something that happened when a bunch of drunk Irishmen and inveterate gamblers named Hoss were playing against only other white people.

Baseball should change the name of the Cy Young award every 20 years in order to prioritize each new modern era as well.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:47:52 AM
Quote from: flannj on June 23, 2017, 08:29:44 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:16:59 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 23, 2017, 07:51:13 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.

Hartnett's homer won the pennant and gave them a shot against the 1938 Yankees.

Joe Tinker hit a go ahead HR to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead in the World Series. They proceeded to win just 11 World Series games between that date and October 25, 2016.

And they lost. Now I'm a little out there with this, but I daresay winning the world series>>not winning it.

Also, sorry, I am going to prioritize something happening in the modern, big money, televised, greatest-athletes-in-the-world-in-peak-condition era over something that happened when a bunch of drunk Irishmen and inveterate gamblers named Hoss were playing against only other white people.

Baseball should change the name of the Cy Young award every 20 years in order to prioritize each new modern era as well.

I mean in general I count the "modern era" of baseball to be post-integration. If some Cub had hit a walkoff dinger in the 1955 World Series or something I would have included it.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 23, 2017, 09:12:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:47:52 AM
Quote from: flannj on June 23, 2017, 08:29:44 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 08:16:59 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 23, 2017, 07:51:13 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 23, 2017, 06:32:43 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 22, 2017, 05:47:57 PM
Cubs history began in 2015

I mean, in terms of "greatest homers in Cubs history" there's "a bunch of homers that didn't help the Cubs win the world series, several of them before World War II" and then there's "homers that actually contributed to the Cubs winning the world series." As far as I'm concerned literally any of the latter will outrank the former.

If I was asking "greatest players in Cubs history" or whatever I'd obviously include older players, but for a singular Best Homer in Cubs History I'm gonna say it's gotta be one from the 2016 post-season at least. I included the Schwarbomb because I know a lot of people point to it as a very big symbolic moment, but I didn't vote for it.

Hartnett's homer won the pennant and gave them a shot against the 1938 Yankees.

Joe Tinker hit a go ahead HR to give the Cubs a 2-0 lead in the World Series. They proceeded to win just 11 World Series games between that date and October 25, 2016.

And they lost. Now I'm a little out there with this, but I daresay winning the world series>>not winning it.

Also, sorry, I am going to prioritize something happening in the modern, big money, televised, greatest-athletes-in-the-world-in-peak-condition era over something that happened when a bunch of drunk Irishmen and inveterate gamblers named Hoss were playing against only other white people.

Baseball should change the name of the Cy Young award every 20 years in order to prioritize each new modern era as well.

I mean in general I count the "modern era" of baseball to be post-integration. If some Cub had hit a walkoff dinger in the 1955 World Series or something I would have included it.

Handsome Ransom didn't join the Dodgers until 1956.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 23, 2017, 09:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2017, 08:04:42 AM
It was probably Ron Santo.

Note to self:  do not drive while reading an Eli post.
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 23, 2017, 11:19:08 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 23, 2017, 09:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2017, 08:04:42 AM
It was probably Ron Santo.

Note to self:  do not drive while reading an Eli post.


Why would you even be on the internet while you're driving
Title: Re: Biggest Homer in Cubs History
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 23, 2017, 11:56:43 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on June 23, 2017, 11:19:08 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on June 23, 2017, 09:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2017, 08:04:42 AM
It was probably Ron Santo.

Note to self:  do not drive while reading an Eli post.


Why would you even be on the internet while you're driving

If you are, try speeding up on the turns.