Desipio Message Board

No Westworld thread? It's boring as shit. It could be salvaged if we can come to give a wet fart about any of the characters.

I know it's early, but I don't recall a season in which every single member of the Cubs' bullpen was a welcome sight - and by no fault of the starting rotation. Travis Wood has been getting tapped around lately but other than that, there has been nothing to complain about here. We have a well-deserved Rondon thread but the rest of these guys merit a thread of their own where we can comment on our hard percentage after they put games away with the precision they did last night.

Jedd Jerkoff, have a seat.

I saw the promos and thought I'd like this. I saw the pilot and thought I might hate this. I saw Louie Anderson's performance as the main character's mother (yes, you read that right) and I've come to love this. I laugh out loud. It's weirdly watchable in a first season of "My Name Is Earl" kind of way. But the Louie Anderson performance will give it legs to stand on for years. If this is the only season and it's just a throwaway show, that stuff is still comedy gold and I'm glad it's here.

Watchable. You know the characters and the storyline. The 90s set pieces are interesting enough. It's fascinating to watch such an open and shut case get muddled to west Bubblefuck. John Travolta as Robert Shapiro is actually hilarious, perhaps unintentionally, perhaps not, or perhaps both.

But what isn't working for me is Cuba Gooding as O.J. First, he's not big enough. O.J. is 6'1, 212. Not much bigger than yours truly, but he is or was an imposing figure. If he were in a room shirtless with a gun screaming at you, I don't see how you don't shit your pants. But Gooding (5'10 in heels and a buck 70 wet) basically reprises his role as whoever the fuck in Jerry McGuire. You could totally see that guy flaking out on Regina King, getting a young, blond trophy wife and coking his brain into spongecake to the point that CTE or whatever turns him into a slasher flick. And to see that happen and Tom Cruise John Travolta and David Schwimmer come to his rescue seems like the worthwhile sequel that movie never deserved.

I want to watch them muck up the case though. That part still fascinates me.

2 stars out of 4.

It didn't really get much better for him after this unfortunately. I don't know if he got locked up or what.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGcj0zW1I_k

Ask them if they think they can hit a ball out of a major league ballpark.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/nationals-offer-fans-chance-to-hit-home-run--win-free-tickets-230538803.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

That is, if you can find one who hasn't drank, gambled and fucked his life savings away after so many years of bitter disappointment and utter shame.

Omar Sharif was 83.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/actor-omar-sharif-dies-of-a-heart-attack-at-83-2015-07-10

Jonathan Herrera

That was a long, hard one. Certainly surprised me when he whipped it out.

His management of the 8th inning was superb. Coke comes in and gets an out and an E6 against two lefties. Ramirez gets Holliday to pop out and then exits for Strop who induces Adams into a L6 to end the inning.

Why use Ramirez at all? Well, Holliday is 1-3 with a double a walk and two HBP lifetime against Strop. That's all kinds of bad juju. The lefty Adams is now 0-8 lifetime against Strop. So that means Pedro can carry a little picture of that fat turd around in his wallet with an inscription on the back, "My bitch."

Isn't it amazing when things work? I can get used to this.

George McCaskey's got the keys to the spaceship now. Buckle up.

I just thought he should have his own thread where we post articles and numbers that either confirm or don't confirm that he's a fucking wizard.

Morning, Ogdens.

Chris Conte will begin training camp on the Physically Unable to Perform list.

If you ask me, he's spent every day of his NFL career on said list. /Rosendouche

Let's light this candle.

Nasty.

Epstink is wonderful.

Former Cy Young winner Bob Welch dies at age 57

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/24584780/former-cy-young-winner-bob-welch-dies-at-age-57

Chilling, terrifying, interesting, beautifully shot.

I wish The Bridge was more like this. I'm completely hooked. Can't wait until next week.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/chicago-bears-quarterback-jay-cutler-sign-him-seven-154934103--nfl.html

I love Martin Scorsese films. I love boobs.

Five stars.