The only site I'll ever need...

[BananaHands]

Also make sure to take some TP with you and dump in each and every apartment. This does two things-  A) it allows you time to think and reflect on your life and the potential apartment and B) it shows the landlord that you are the boss and that he should give the apartment to you at a reduced rate.

[bozos72]

Also make sure to take some TP with you and dump in each and every apartment. This does two things-  A) it allows you time to think and reflect on your life and the potential apartment and B) it shows the landlord that you are the boss and that he should give the apartment to you at a reduced rate.

Flushing is for pussies.  I think it's in the Carnegie book.

[The Ghost of Desipio Past]

Also make sure to take some TP with you and dump in each and every apartment. This does two things-  A) it allows you time to think and reflect on your life and the potential apartment and B) it shows the landlord that you are the boss and that he should give the apartment to you at a reduced rate.

If you're going to press upon the landlord that it is you who are the boss, I suggest forgoing the TP, shit with the door open, don't flush, don't wash your hands, and then make sure you shake hands at the conclusion of the tour.

[SD]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

[JD, Too]

Also make sure to take some TP with you and dump in each and every apartment. This does two things-  A) it allows you time to think and reflect on your life and the potential apartment and B) it shows the landlord that you are the boss and that he should give the apartment to you at a reduced rate.

If you're going to press upon the landlord that it is you who are the boss, I suggest forgoing the TP, shit with the door open, don't flush, don't wash your hands, and then make sure you shake hands at the conclusion of the tour.

You guys gave me the hiccups.

[Down In Front]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a fuck what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

[Fork_The_Third]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

[Apexx]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

You think Mike secretly wishes "Chad" was a ghey and would whisk him away to his little nest of sin on Halsted for some ... yilch.

I kinda got that too.

[SD]

I'm definitely not homophobic (stop me if you've heard this before -- my uncle is gay), so that does sound decent.  Sounds like a monopoly on the females, since there's no competition.  If the Halsted area ladies needs a cleanup hitter, I'm the guy for the gals!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

Cliffhanger, eh?  This makes me want to put a soap opera spin on this.

I slept in my car on the mean streets of Chicago, while cops were constantly driving by from every which direction.

To be continued...

[The Ghost of Desipio Past]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

I remember that guy.  Gave good head.

[Down In Front]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

Well, YEAH. 

Actually, I wouldn't want to trade places with him.  Barring Alzheimer’s, intelligence doesn’t go away.  This guy’s game though, will eventually turn pathetic, unless he becomes a millionaire, which he won’t.  I'll take the brains.  At least that’s what I tell myself.

Seriously, though, the guy got laid more than Paul.

[Down In Front]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

You think Mike secretly wishes "Chad" was a ghey and would whisk him away to his little nest of sin on Halsted for some ... yilch.

I kinda got that too.

You guys are just mad cuz I called yer little Joy Luck Club of Weight Loss gay.

[JD, Too]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

You think Mike secretly wishes "Chad" was a ghey and would whisk him away to his little nest of sin on Halsted for some ... yilch.

I kinda got that too.

You guys are just mad cuz I called yer little Joy Luck Club of Weight Loss gay.

I eat chicken almost every single day.  That's how I get my abs to pop. 

[Apexx]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

You think Mike secretly wishes "Chad" was a ghey and would whisk him away to his little nest of sin on Halsted for some ... yilch.

I kinda got that too.

You guys are just mad cuz I called yer little Joy Luck Club of Weight Loss gay.

You mean the one where I was thoroughly mocking fat people and talking about dropping a half-meter deuce and eating peanut butter? No, that was no phase. I was just thoroughly mocking your hero worship of some switch-hitting Halsted bar hopper. It was quite fun too.

[Down In Front]

I lived in Chicago for exactly 1 day in 2003.  The apartment we looked at was very nice, and very affordable.  Was about $1000 split between two people.  Just blocks from Wrigley Field and Lake Michigan.  I still wonder what could have been.

Then again, I think the apartment might have been around Halsted, which I didn't know anything about at the time.  Thanks to this (the only) site (you'll ever need), I've learned that Halsted might not be the right place for an upstanding heterosexual such as myself.  Good luck and good hunting, Pexarino!

1)  One day?  And you just leave us hanging like that?  What the hell's the story behind THAT one?

2)  You don't have to be gay to live on Halsted;  you just can't be a homophobe.  I used to work with a guy who was your typical Lincoln Park-like Trixiemale.  And, naturally his name was Chad.  He grew up downstate, and was one of the biggest flippin' whores I ever had the distinction of partying with.  Dumb as a box of rocks, but I'll be damned if he didn't get laid nearly every goddamn weekend, and usually by girls who were out of most guys' leagues.  Anyway, this guy  lived right at Halsted and Roscoe, which is like Ground Zero of Boys Town.  Didn't bother him in the least.  Why would it?  He was too busy banging chicks to give a f@#$ what people thought.  Besides, as he used to say, plenty of straight chicks in the neighborhood--hetero girls naturally feeling safer in a clean area not infested by potential rapists.  To him, it was a numbers game.  What a slut.

somehow, you manage to sound only slightly jealous.

You think Mike secretly wishes "Chad" was a ghey and would whisk him away to his little nest of sin on Halsted for some ... yilch.

I kinda got that too.

You guys are just mad cuz I called yer little Joy Luck Club of Weight Loss gay.

You mean the one where I was thoroughly mocking fat people and talking about dropping a half-meter deuce and eating peanut butter? No, that was no phase. I was just thoroughly mocking your hero worship of some switch-hitting Halsted bar hopper. It was quite fun too.

Next you're gonna tell me Paul wasn't getting laid every night.

Why must you be so cruel?