Phil Rogers' time machine

[Andy]

In the second page of today's "column" on Felix Pie by Phil Rogers, Phil apparently invents a time machine:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/cs-070222rogers,1,1416741.column?page=2&coll=cs-home-headlines

[Pie] almost played alongside Sammy Sosa in 2004 but suffered a bone bruise sliding into third base on a triple just before circumstances forced Hendry to make a call to Double-A for two outfielders, Murton and the unfortunate Adam Greenberg (hit in the head with the first pitch he saw in the big leagues and still trying to get back) got the call while Pie slowly healed.

Uh...um...since the Cubs didn't trade for Matt Murton until July 31, 2004, and the Florida call-ups of Murton and Greenberg happened just before the All-Star Break in 2005, how could any of this be true?

Phil just confused Sammy Sosa with Jeromy Burnitz.  This...fellas...is why Phil makes the big bucks.

[Apexx]

Give the guy a break. He doesn't really watch baseball that much. Yet he has to churn out thousand-word articles about it every other day. It gets hard sometimes. Let's see you try it.

[Joe]

Phil says to watch out for the Rockies this year-they are a sleeper.

[forkserker]

Ever time Phil Rogers writes a column, a kitten dies.

[Indolent Reader]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

[forkserker]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Phil Rogers' time machine is a broken flux capacitor bolted onto an old Corvair.

[James Westfall]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Not me.  I learned my lesson from climbing aboard the Great Space Coaster when I was a wii lad.  I ended up with Shamrock shake all over my shoes.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Not me.  I learned my lesson from climbing aboard the Great Space Coaster when I was a wii lad.  I ended up with Shamrock shake all over my shoes.

Better than in your mouth... those things are disgusting.

[Slaky!]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Not me.  I learned my lesson from climbing aboard the Great Space Coaster when I was a wii lad.  I ended up with Shamrock shake all over my shoes.

Better than in your mouth... those things are disgusting.

I thought I was the only one that hated those things. Praise you Pie.

[Dave B]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Doesn't some fairly hot chick do a lot of the highlights on the Sports machine now?

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

Is the Phil Rogers' time machine anything like the George Michael (the unghey one) Sports Machine?  Because, if so, I want to climb aboard right now!

Doesn't some fairly hot chick do a lot of the highlights on the Sports machine now?

I'm not sure she even qualifies as 'fairly hot', but I'd still hit it.

[D. Doluntap]

Another Gem, from fellow homo Paul Sullivan:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-070223cubs,1,1760433.story?coll=cs-home-headlines

Corey Patterson spent a few years in the minor leagues being promoted as the next great Cubs outfielder, only for impatient fans to run him out of town because they wondered when he was going to live up to the buildup.

Hmm. It's our fault Corey sucked balls?

So do we get credit for his solid 04 season?

#*($* Sullivan.

[Old Style Man]

Another Gem, from fellow homo Paul Sullivan:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-070223cubs,1,1760433.story?coll=cs-home-headlines

Corey Patterson spent a few years in the minor leagues being promoted as the next great Cubs outfielder, only for impatient fans to run him out of town because they wondered when he was going to live up to the buildup.

Hmm. It's our fault Corey sucked balls?

So do we get credit for his solid 04 season?

#*($* Sullivan.

I had the exact same reaction to that line from Sullivan's piece of shit column today. How the hell does he still have a job? The fans ran KPat out of town? Yeah, and it was our fault that he only had .300 OBP with the Orioles this last year, too. If the Jockey wants to blame anyone for Patterson forcing Hendry to trade him for a bag of balls he should blame Dusty F. Baker, Sarge, Pat Clines and Corey himself before blaming the fans.

[RD]

Let's take a ride on the Phil Rogers time machine all the way back to the halcyon days of 1996...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-26-rogers-al-westfeb26,0,993502.story?track=rss

Now, like wide receiver Rod Tidwell in "Jerry Maguire," Lackey is telling the Angels, "Show me the money!"

Jerry Mcguire?  Seriously?  Welcome to 1996, Phil.  Hopefully he steps up his game and we can get some Sling Blade quotes, or maybe Fargo if we're really lucky.

On a side note, searching for "Phil Rogers" brings up some hilarious results.  The Phil Rogers Curse; Phil Rogers, you ignorant slut; Phil Rogers: Moran.  So many choices to choose from...

[MAD]

In fairness to Phil, he thought Jerry McGuire was from 2005.  Facts are his enemey; have been for a long time.