Bearbonnais 2014: Emstink's Evil Plan Hatches In Earnest

[InternetApex]

Morning, Ogdens.

Chris Conte will begin training camp on the Physically Unable to Perform list.

If you ask me, he's spent every day of his NFL career on said list. /Rosendouche

Let's light this candle.

[Slaky]

Jay Cutler's van

[Yeti]

Jay Cutler's van

Almost as sweet as Krieger's

[SKO]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

[Slaky]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

[InternetApex]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Kyle Fuller and Brock Vereen will drink the blood of the non-believers until they get concussed or have their spleens ripped out by runaway ballcarriers.

[SKO]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

That's the plan. I think the pass rush should be outstanding. I am a huge believer in Will Sutton. I'd expect him to work his way into the lineup fairly quickly. The focus will be on Allen but I think Houston is going to do amazing things and I think Willie Young could end up being the guy taking advantage of everything to get the most sacks.  Even Shea blitzing as the Sam or still rushing off the edge on obvious passing situations should still be able to make a QB uncomfortable.

I don't see a scenario in which they aren't improved over last year, it's just a matter of how much do Tillman and Jennings have left, and how quickly can Vereen and Fuller get up to speed.

I think Fuller is going to be an outstanding player and I like that they aren't shoving him in the nickel role like most teams do with rookie corners and expecting him to thrive in a role he's probably never played since he's been the best corner on every team he's ever been on. If they keep him outside in the nickel and let Timmy play the slot there's going to be some interceptions to be had.

I say they finish top ten sacks, with a top 12 run defense (Houston and Young are very stout run defenders, Briggs and Tillman have always been good run defenders and things fell apart when they went down last year), hopefully a top 20ish pass defense. Something like 16-18th overall in defense and we're in business.

[InternetApex]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

That's the plan. I think the pass rush should be outstanding. I am a huge believer in Will Sutton. I'd expect him to work his way into the lineup fairly quickly. The focus will be on Allen but I think Houston is going to do amazing things and I think Willie Young could end up being the guy taking advantage of everything to get the most sacks.  Even Shea blitzing as the Sam or still rushing off the edge on obvious passing situations should still be able to make a QB uncomfortable.

I don't see a scenario in which they aren't improved over last year, it's just a matter of how much do Tillman and Jennings have left, and how quickly can Vereen and Fuller get up to speed.

I think Fuller is going to be an outstanding player and I like that they aren't shoving him in the nickel role like most teams do with rookie corners and expecting him to thrive in a role he's probably never played since he's been the best corner on every team he's ever been on. If they keep him outside in the nickel and let Timmy play the slot there's going to be some interceptions to be had.

I say they finish top ten sacks, with a top 12 run defense (Houston and Young are very stout run defenders, Briggs and Tillman have always been good run defenders and things fell apart when they went down last year), hopefully a top 20ish pass defense. Something like 16-18th overall in defense and we're in business.

I think things fell apart before Briggs and Tillman got hurt. The Melton/Collins double scrotum pelt was crippling. That put pressure on the back seven to the point that aged vets like Briggs and Tillman were going to cave no matter what.

[SKO]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

That's the plan. I think the pass rush should be outstanding. I am a huge believer in Will Sutton. I'd expect him to work his way into the lineup fairly quickly. The focus will be on Allen but I think Houston is going to do amazing things and I think Willie Young could end up being the guy taking advantage of everything to get the most sacks.  Even Shea blitzing as the Sam or still rushing off the edge on obvious passing situations should still be able to make a QB uncomfortable.

I don't see a scenario in which they aren't improved over last year, it's just a matter of how much do Tillman and Jennings have left, and how quickly can Vereen and Fuller get up to speed.

I think Fuller is going to be an outstanding player and I like that they aren't shoving him in the nickel role like most teams do with rookie corners and expecting him to thrive in a role he's probably never played since he's been the best corner on every team he's ever been on. If they keep him outside in the nickel and let Timmy play the slot there's going to be some interceptions to be had.

I say they finish top ten sacks, with a top 12 run defense (Houston and Young are very stout run defenders, Briggs and Tillman have always been good run defenders and things fell apart when they went down last year), hopefully a top 20ish pass defense. Something like 16-18th overall in defense and we're in business.

I think things fell apart before Briggs and Tillman got hurt. The Melton/Collins double scrotum pelt was crippling. That put pressure on the back seven to the point that aged vets like Briggs and Tillman were going to cave no matter what.

Oh that defense was bad before they went down. I was referring specifically to the run defense. They were a mediocre defense overall but the run defense was not the historically abysmal disaster it became until Tillman and Briggs and Williams all went down around week seven. People underrate how much of an impact having two sure tackling corners like Tillman and Jennings helps your run defense.

[InternetApex]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

That's the plan. I think the pass rush should be outstanding. I am a huge believer in Will Sutton. I'd expect him to work his way into the lineup fairly quickly. The focus will be on Allen but I think Houston is going to do amazing things and I think Willie Young could end up being the guy taking advantage of everything to get the most sacks.  Even Shea blitzing as the Sam or still rushing off the edge on obvious passing situations should still be able to make a QB uncomfortable.

I don't see a scenario in which they aren't improved over last year, it's just a matter of how much do Tillman and Jennings have left, and how quickly can Vereen and Fuller get up to speed.

I think Fuller is going to be an outstanding player and I like that they aren't shoving him in the nickel role like most teams do with rookie corners and expecting him to thrive in a role he's probably never played since he's been the best corner on every team he's ever been on. If they keep him outside in the nickel and let Timmy play the slot there's going to be some interceptions to be had.

I say they finish top ten sacks, with a top 12 run defense (Houston and Young are very stout run defenders, Briggs and Tillman have always been good run defenders and things fell apart when they went down last year), hopefully a top 20ish pass defense. Something like 16-18th overall in defense and we're in business.

I think things fell apart before Briggs and Tillman got hurt. The Melton/Collins double scrotum pelt was crippling. That put pressure on the back seven to the point that aged vets like Briggs and Tillman were going to cave no matter what.

Oh that defense was bad before they went down. I was referring specifically to the run defense. They were a mediocre defense overall but the run defense was not the historically abysmal disaster it became until Tillman and Briggs and Williams all went down around week seven. People underrate how much of an impact having two sure tackling corners like Tillman and Jennings helps your run defense.

Agreed, but there were numbers that showed the percentage of plays that Briggs was involved in before the Washington game, which were alarming to the point that an injury was all but inevitable. Now, Tillman and Briggs (and Williams?) are back, one year older and still more injured than they were at the start of last year. The bolstering of depth up front should protect them, but ultimately it may not because football. What couldn't happen last year was the rash of injuries to the interior of the line. That was the domino that set everything tumbling toward historical ineptitude. The depth in the back 7 is still suspect and even the starters are either very old or very young.

If I have a point here, it's that Emstink was wonderful enough to try to avoid the wretched line play of last season. I know people wish death or herpes on Conte based on the last play of last season, but in my mind's eye, I still see Peppers whiffing on Rodgers after finally beating his man. The Pep I knew and loved would have finished that play and made Conte irrelevant.

[SKO]

That van is the best. Please let him get something airbrushed on the side.

Cannot wait to see the offense take the field again, but I'm still getting nightsweats over the back end of the defense.

Won't the revamped rush make them look better.

That's the plan. I think the pass rush should be outstanding. I am a huge believer in Will Sutton. I'd expect him to work his way into the lineup fairly quickly. The focus will be on Allen but I think Houston is going to do amazing things and I think Willie Young could end up being the guy taking advantage of everything to get the most sacks.  Even Shea blitzing as the Sam or still rushing off the edge on obvious passing situations should still be able to make a QB uncomfortable.

I don't see a scenario in which they aren't improved over last year, it's just a matter of how much do Tillman and Jennings have left, and how quickly can Vereen and Fuller get up to speed.

I think Fuller is going to be an outstanding player and I like that they aren't shoving him in the nickel role like most teams do with rookie corners and expecting him to thrive in a role he's probably never played since he's been the best corner on every team he's ever been on. If they keep him outside in the nickel and let Timmy play the slot there's going to be some interceptions to be had.

I say they finish top ten sacks, with a top 12 run defense (Houston and Young are very stout run defenders, Briggs and Tillman have always been good run defenders and things fell apart when they went down last year), hopefully a top 20ish pass defense. Something like 16-18th overall in defense and we're in business.

I think things fell apart before Briggs and Tillman got hurt. The Melton/Collins double scrotum pelt was crippling. That put pressure on the back seven to the point that aged vets like Briggs and Tillman were going to cave no matter what.

Oh that defense was bad before they went down. I was referring specifically to the run defense. They were a mediocre defense overall but the run defense was not the historically abysmal disaster it became until Tillman and Briggs and Williams all went down around week seven. People underrate how much of an impact having two sure tackling corners like Tillman and Jennings helps your run defense.

Agreed, but there were numbers that showed the percentage of plays that Briggs was involved in before the Washington game, which were alarming to the point that an injury was all but inevitable. Now, Tillman and Briggs (and Williams?) are back, one year older and still more injured than they were at the start of last year. The bolstering of depth up front should protect them, but ultimately it may not because football. What couldn't happen last year was the rash of injuries to the interior of the line. That was the domino that set everything tumbling toward historical ineptitude. The depth in the back 7 is still suspect and even the starters are either very old or very young.

If I have a point here, it's that Emstink was wonderful enough to try to avoid the wretched line play of last season. I know people wish death or herpes on Conte based on the last play of last season, but in my mind's eye, I still see Peppers whiffing on Rodgers after finally beating his man. The Pep I knew and loved would have finished that play and made Conte irrelevant.

It would be great if McClellin takes to SLB and Bostic takes a huge leap forward in year two. A lot of people want to write Bostic off because he was kinda terrible last year but putting a rookie linebacker next to another rookie linebacker next to James Anderson while they're all playing behind a fuckign undrafted rookie nose tackle from NW Missouri State or whatever is not really a great way to evaluate said player.

If McClellin and Bostic or even Christian Jones (who was one of the top ranked LBs in the draft before a failed test for weed dropped him down boards) can step up hopefully they can rely on Briggs less.

[PenFoe]

I don't understand why "Hatches in Earnest" is gay. Or not gay.

[InternetApex]

I don't understand why "Hatches in Earnest" is gay. Or not gay.

Because it's inside Earnest, which is a dude's name. And if it's hatching it's likely some sort of egg, which would require male fertilization. If that's not gay, I don't know what the fuck even is anymore.

EDIT: I now realize that nobody spells it "Earnest" since around the turn of the century. It's always "Ernest" now. So it's a bit of a stretch (||). 

[Richard Chuggar]

I don't understand why "Hatches in Earnest" is gay. Or not gay.

Because it's inside Earnest, which is a dude's name. And if it's hatching it's likely some sort of egg, which would require male fertilization. If that's not gay, I don't know what the fuck even is anymore.

EDIT: I now realize that nobody spells it "Earnest" since around the turn of the century. It's always "Ernest" now. So it's a bit of a stretch (||). 

This:

[PenFoe]

I don't understand why "Hatches in Earnest" is gay. Or not gay.

Because it's inside Earnest, which is a dude's name. And if it's hatching it's likely some sort of egg, which would require male fertilization. If that's not gay, I don't know what the fuck even is anymore.

EDIT: I now realize that nobody spells it "Earnest" since around the turn of the century. It's always "Ernest" now. So it's a bit of a stretch (||). 

This feels like really abusing your own thing.

An egg doesn't hatch inside a person. It gets laid (or fertilized) and then hatches outside, or not at all.