2017-2018 Cubs/MLB Offseason: HOT FUCKING STOVE

[Tonker]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

[SKO]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

so in a world where you dared to dream big you landed on Jen Ho-Tseng as the Cubs 5th starter

[Quality Start Machine]

WHO WILL BE THE NEW BENCH COACH! I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY RUMORS ABOUT THIS!!!!

We don't even know who owns the Cubs yet, and you're worried about the bench coach?

[Tonker]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

so in a world where you dared to dream big you landed on Jen Ho-Tseng as the Cubs 5th starter

Yes.  I'm British.  If I dream too big, I have to slam my dick in a drawer and then apologise to everybody.

[Bort]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

so in a world where you dared to dream big you landed on Jen Ho-Tseng as the Cubs 5th starter

Yes.  I'm British.  If I dream too big, I have to slam my dick in a drawer and then apologise to everybody.

Which is also the only way an Eton graduate can get aroused.

[Quality Start Machine]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

so in a world where you dared to dream big you landed on Jen Ho-Tseng as the Cubs 5th starter

Yes.  I'm British.  If I dream too big, I have to slam my dick in a drawer and then apologise to everybody.

Which is also the only way an Eton graduate can get aroused.

Hello, hooray, I prefer the plague...

[Saul Goodman]

Crazy Rumor Guys predict Darvish to the Cubs and the bullpen getting Reed and McGee.  I wouldn't hate that, assuming they can add another controllable starter.

And, Arrieta to the Brewers.

I'd rather have Jake at 4/100 than Darvish at 6/165.

I'd be very, very surprised to see Jake settle for four years.  I reckon the absolute minimum is five and with his fitness levels, he might even get six.  I'd also be very, very surprised to see him go to the Brewers, because... well, the Brewers.

Darvish, Reed and McGee would do me nicely:

Lester
QSM
Q
Darvish
Tseng

Maples
Hector
Wilson
Pedro
Tits
CJ
Monty
Reed

... wouldn't be awful.

I'd be pretty surprised if Tseng locked down a rotation spot at the start of this year. I still feel like if they go in-house for one of the starters it is more likely to be Montgomery than anything, and then they'd just spend more money to bolster the pen.

Yeah, I originally had Monty in the rotation, and then thought... fuck it, it's dreamland, I can do what I like.

so in a world where you dared to dream big you landed on Jen Ho-Tseng as the Cubs 5th starter

This is your best post

[Quality Start Machine]

Phil Rogers with a Faustian +1.

[Canadouche]

Phil Rogers with a Faustian +1.

Basically 40 million to two mediocre pitchers through 2020? Shit. Heyward is that bad, huh?

[Quality Start Machine]

Brandon Hyde promoted to Bench Coach.

In other words, David Ross said no.

[Saul Goodman]

Brandon Hyde promoted to Bench Coach.

In other words, David Ross said no.

I doubt it was actually ever offered to him. He's not ready.

[SKO]

Brandon Hyde promoted to Bench Coach.

In other words, David Ross said no.

I doubt it was actually ever offered to him. He's not ready.

Rosenthal said it was because the Mets offered Hyde their bench coach job and the Cubs didn't wanna lose him. But Fork gonna Fork.

[Saul Goodman]

Brandon Hyde promoted to Bench Coach.

In other words, David Ross said no.

I doubt it was actually ever offered to him. He's not ready.

Rosenthal said it was because the Mets offered Hyde their bench coach job and the Cubs didn't wanna lose him. But Fork gonna Fork.

Purely objectively, I think I'd rather be the Cubs' first base coach than the dumpster fire Mets' bench coach. Sorry if this offends

[SKO]

Brandon Hyde promoted to Bench Coach.

In other words, David Ross said no.

I doubt it was actually ever offered to him. He's not ready.

Rosenthal said it was because the Mets offered Hyde their bench coach job and the Cubs didn't wanna lose him. But Fork gonna Fork.

Purely objectively, I think I'd rather be the Cubs' first base coach than the dumpster fire Mets' bench coach. Sorry if this offends

Understandable but bench coach is obviously a raise and the traditional last step before becoming a managerial candidate.

[Saul Goodman]

Seriously though ... first base coach might be an appropriate start for Ross, if he wants to leave the side hustles behind and start coaching. Think of all the little pep talks he would give each batter who reached first.  It'd be adorable. He and Anthony Rizzo would probably fully embrace for a solid ten seconds after each HBP.

Normally I'd want a new coach to start in the minors but I think Ross is a special case. He's more valuable to the big league club and it would make an easier transition for him.

With that said, I hear Ryne Sandberg is available.