Let’s reopen the old Desipio Mailbag
Because clearly I’ll never come up with enough ideas on my own, let’s reopen the old Desipio Mailbag. You have questions (about the Cubs, about that rash on your groin, about why nobody can make a good Superman movie, whatever) and we have answers. Questions that…
That time we got Twitter banned
Twitter is announcing some big changes they’re going to roll out over the next few weeks. Once they are complete you’ll be able to post photos, videos and .gifs without it taking up your character count. You’ll be able to spam the shit out of people…
Power rankings are dumb
Every week MLB.com and ESPN.com and other .com’s push out their big league POWER RANKINGS! WHO HAS THE POWER? WHO HAS MORE OR LESS POWER THAN THEY DID THE LAST TIME WE ARBITRARILY AWARDED THE POWER? It’s pointless. It’s dumb. The only power rankings that matter…
Kyle Schwarber injury update and movie review?
HI GUYS. INTER NET ASKED KYLE TO GIVE YOU AN UPDATE ON THE REHAB WORK I AM DOING ON MY LEG HINGE. JUST PROMISE YOU WON’T PRINT THIS OUT AND TAKE IT TO THE BOYS ROOM WHEN YOU POOP. I KNOW GUYS LIKE TO READ WHEN THEY POOP. I SURE DO LIKE TO. EVERY DAY MEDICINE…
Are we enjoying this enough?
Old Ma Nature decided to give us all a little mental break last night, and she rained out the Cubs regularly scheduled win against the San Diego Padres. I think we all needed it. I was asleep by nine o’clock—on the couch, no less—mostly because our beloved,…
Dusty’s back!
Baseball’s best team returns home tonight after just about as thorough a pants-ing of the next best team in a division that you’re ever going to see. Â After falling behind 1-0 in the first game of the three-game sweep of Pissburgh, the Cubs kicked the…
Wrigley’s never looked better, just in time
With Opening Night (why are the Cubs opening at night…again?) just hours away, we’re getting our first good looks at the renovations to Wrigley Field that were mostly made on the outside this offseason. Quite frankly, the park has never looked better….
Buy the ticket, take the ride
It was inevitable that whenever the Cubs rebuild showed promise that the world would jump on the bandwagon. When dozens of “experts” pick the Cubs to win the World Series, like they have this year, it’s as much for the story as it is the team. The…
Cubs Preview: Picks you can take to the bank (the blood bank)
It’s funny how having a good team to root for gets you extra fired up for opening day. Â It’s not like opening day of the baseball season isn’t always exciting, but when your team isn’t trotting out Joe Mather, Brian LaHair, Blake Lalli and…
Cubs Preview: The pitching is deeper than Nietzsche
Later today we can get to the predictions that are sure to be terribly wrong, but right now we’ll cover the entire pitching staff.  With these Cubs, that’s no small feat.  For the first time since…ever, the Cubs appear to be well armed not only…
Cubs Preview: Our outfielders are bigger than yours
Part two of our preseason preview extravaganza takes us to the outfield, where the Cubs have decided that if you don’t weigh 220 pounds or more you have no business out there.13 People are worried about the outfield defense, since the current outfield assemblage…
Cubs Preview: The bestest infield of all times
Opening Day is careening around the corner and you know that means. Â It’s time for a half-assed preview of the season. Â Today let’s focus on the infield (and the catchers). Â The one thing you really want to know is: Is this Cubs infield the greatest…
The Cubs hype video can’t be contained to 7 minutes
With just a week to wait before opening day, it seemed like a good time to try to find a 2016 Cubs hype video. There were plenty to choose from, including this one: But while looking around, I found something even better. The best hype videos for these 2016 Cubs…
Cubs Preview – Expectations
With more than a couple of weeks to go before the Cubs open the season in Anaheim, there’s still plenty of time to preview the individual position groups. Â But before we start dissecting the deepest roster in baseball, it’s time to take the necessary…
Jon Lester is going to have to learn to throw to first
One of the things I detest more than just about anything else is the dreaded hot take. Well, hold onto your butts, because I’m about to serve one up and it’s pipin’ hot! Cubs pitcher Jon Lester is going to have to learn to throw the fucking ball to…
Are the Cubs too deep?
Surely, in the past week since the Cubs convinced Dexter Fowler that an extra $20 million is worthless if it means you’ll have to have crabs in Baltimore, some dummy has opined to you that the Cubs are “too deep.” “When is everybody going to…
The Cubs aren’t fucking around
A few short years ago, a self-important, self-appointed spokesman for Cubs fans all over asked, “Theo how long do you expect us to wait?” Theo, as it turns out, didn’t expect us to wait very long at all. Within four years he’d turned a joke of…
What decade is this? The Cubs re-sign Matt Murton
In late July of 2004 the Red Sox still-young General Manager Theodore Epstein traded an iconic Boston superstar to the Chicago Cubs. Â Boston was stunned. Â People wept. Â A pall fell over the city. Oh, in the same trade, Theo also got rid of Nomar Garciaparra. Matt…