Dempster ponders his future
Our good friend at Big League Stew, Kevin Kaduk, thinks it’s funny that I loathe Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster so much. Â And I can see why. Â Dempster’s been a Cub since 2004 and there have been much bigger louts and disappointments to root against in that…
There are no AAAA players
The Cubs equipment truck is on its way to Mesa, which can mean only one thing…hijack that puppy and get all the clean jock straps you can stuff in your shorts! Â No, wait, it means Spring Training is on the way. Â You know what else says that? Â A fucking…
The greatest 8-bit parody ever
See more at CollegeHumor
An open letter that should have stayed shut
Some days it doesn’t pay to be busy. Â I was tied up all day, and so this morning, when I read Al Yellon’s open letter to Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer about re-signing Kerry Wood, I tried the old, “clear my calendar, THIS is all I’m doing…
It was never boring
Despite the hand-wringing of the usual gaggle of dolts who write about the Cubs when Theo Epstein said it would be a “trust but verify” situation that could get Carlos Zambrano back on the mound for the Cubs this season, it was never going to happen….
Al and Tom, a farce in three acts
You remember, because nobody could ever forget, that last year, Al Yellon had a sitdown with Cubs “owner” Tom Ricketts, where he asked Tom 100 questions, and 94 of them were “Who owns the Cubs?” After a thorough grilling like that it’s no…
Theo and Jed are taking out the trash
Our good friend Dave Kaplan breathlessly tweeted yesterday “Breaking Cubs news: Cubs to completely rebuild.” That was breaking news in the same way that “Breaking Bears news: Caleb Hanie still sucks,” would be breaking news. Â Did I miss…
Bulls get the SG of least resistance
The Bulls have come so far, so fast. How do I know this? Because two offseasons ago, fans were just hoping the team would take another step towards respectability, and now, just months later they can’t believe that a team with the reigning NBA MVP, who was…
Why do players use PEDs?
One of the least surprising things is that baseball players are still using performance enhancing drugs. What is surprising is that they are still getting caught. The latest dummy to get caught is Milwaukee’s Ryan Braun. He doesn’t look like a…
Cardinals fans handle Pujols departure with typical class
The media loves to go on and on about how Cardinals fans are the best in baseball. The media says lots of stupid shit. This week, Cardinals fans had a chance to show just how the best fans in baseball would react to a great player doing the a favor and not clogging…
Cost cutting Cubs dump Colvin on Rockies
Now how could trading a player who makes the league minimum help the Cubs cut costs you ask? Well, when the player is Tyler Colvin, the savings on the team dental plan alone has to be in the tens of millions. And so, the Cubs traded him and his lofty stat line last…
Should the Cubs be willing to trade anybody?
Every time I see outrage on the Interwebs among Cubs fans I reflexively run to the side opposite the outrage. Â The reason? Â Cubs fans are idiots. What caused the idiot horde to take their rage out for a spin yesterday? Â Busty Olney reported the Cubs would listen to…
Happy Thanksgiving, Morans
Has it really been two years since the Ricketts celebrated their first Thanksgiving as Cubs owners? Â Let’s go back to that magical time. And when you’re done reminiscing about that, you can enjoy one of the greatest Thanksgiving episodes of any TV…
Why won’t anyone hire Ryne?
Life is tough these days for Ryne Sandberg. Â Sure, he’s still sitting on a pile of millions of dollars from his playing career, he make can thousands more whenever he wants just by virtue of the fact he gets to sign “HOF” next to his autograph (that…
Ten points for the douche in the backwards hat
The Florida State Department of Transportation is taking a lot of grief for how graphic this video is. But it’s awesome.
What’s Spanish for ‘hitting coach?’
Apparently, it’s “hitting coach.” Those Spanish…they almost have a different word for everything. And…nice mircophone.
Dale Sveum’s greatest day
Ryan Theriot is terrible at baseball
Tip of the hat to Viva El Birdos for this.