Pitching matchup
Padres: Pedro Astacio, 6-10, 4.69 ERA (Good God, man, you’re kidding, right?)
Satanic Fowl: Mark Mulder, 16-8, 3.64 (Lucky for Mark, he’s not pitching against the Cubs)
Lineups
San Diego (0-1)
Warning. This might just be the worst lineup in playoff history
Eric Young, lf (At his…maybe third best position, and he’s 57 years old)
Mark Loretta, 2b (OK, fine)
Ramon Hernandez, c (he’s batting third? Yikes.)
Brian Giles, cf (Center? Huh? Is he going to be riding a mountain bike?)
Khalil Green, ss (Shortstops like Miguel Tejada or even A-Rod can bat fifth, not Khalil.)
Smilin’ Joe Randa, 3b (What do you have to be so happy about?)
Xavier Nady, 1b (First base? Where’s Garvey when you need him?)
Ben Johnson, rf (His steroid test should be flagged every time, just for his name alone.)
Pedro Astacio, p (Is this game two or game 19? Astacio? Holy crap.)
Redneck Heroes (1-0)
The Dwarf, ss
Lassie, cf
Julio Franco Sr., 1b
Larry “I need a” Walker “to get around”, rf
Reggie “I hit a Grand Slam yesterday! Today, I tear both Achilles’!”, lf
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b (Just happy to not be a Cub anymore.)
Abe Nunez, 3b (Nomar minus $7 million)
Yadier “Put out another grease fire with my forehead last night” Molina, c
Mark “Half of my 16 wins came against the Royals, Reds, Pirates, D’Backs and D’Rays” Mulder, p
I’m not a shortstop anymore. I’m a Gold Glove third baseman who’s made three errors in my last four games.
That’s what I’m talkin’ about!
Where the hell is Delino DeSheilds?
Who really believes the Cubs pitchers are attached to Rothschild? Is this true? There making it seem like it would be the end to the clubhouse. I for one, can’t stand that yamsack!
Hmm, seems like we have better players than both teams here. I wonder if assembling a high-priced bunch of sloppy players who cave under any sign of pressure is truly the way to go. Makes you think.
Is there any further news on Rothschild? Does he need help packing up his things?
Who cares if the Cubs pitchers like Rothschild? Maybe if they had a sub-4.00 staff ERA I’d take their opinions into account, but if they really wanted to keep Larry employed, they should have showed it on the mound, not in the papers.
WARNING: Assholes are closer than they appear!!!!
we’re crap, but we won more games than the cubs.
Help!!! I’m stuck in class until 4… Anyone have suggestions on what I am to do?!?!?
GO CARDS !!!!!!!!!!
A-Rod,
I think I got a memo about your position switch.
Padres,
You may have won more games than the Cubs, but give anybody in the NL East, the Cubs or Brewers your NL-West heavy schedule and any of seven other teams would be in the playoffs.
Hey BC,
How about studying, and graduating after nine years at UIUC?
BC, skip class, come to me, drink cheap beer and watch the game on TV…
How dare you doubt my Padres?
Try 10 year at Joliet Junior College
I’m on the Padres radio feed and I’m going to regale everyone with tales of the 1984 NLCS. This will be great!
BC, send us your transcript, we’ll see if you’ve earned an Associate’s Degree in anything. Hell, after eight years at U of I, you ought to at least have a certificate in something.
Remember when I told you how annoying Ted Leitner (Jerry Coleman’s partner) is doing Padres radio? It’s either him for six innings or Mike Shannon for nine.
Spare time in Hell is made up of these decisions.
And to think I haven’t even red-shirted.
I could be here until 2020.
Johnny Walker
Bud Weiser
With Shannon you have to deal with Hagin a little bit too…
I’ll go with one annoying guy over two annoying guys, thank you very much…
I have a suggestion. Use one question mark or exclamation point and then end it.
If we win today, I call shotgun at not being at the bottom of the pile-up.
Dudes, if you think this lineup is bad, just think that if we were playing today, I’d be leading off with some combination of Macias/Patterson/Perez. And besides, all those right-handed hitters need to take their shots at Mulder . Bochy is one smart dude.
Still, it’s only the worst playoff lineup ever cause I’m not in this year’s playoffs dudes.
See you dudes in the Cactus League. I have to go fishing now dudes.
I write like I talk. Fast and with no point.
I’ve already lost my Chargers’ job and word is I’m out with the Padres, too. Oh, well, lots of free time for the kids and my four ex wives!
Olerud would look good in there against Mulder.
http://www.sandiegomag.com/issues/march03/perspectives0303.shtml
Oops
Hey Dusty (25)… Might I suggest a nice anaconda as bait…
Dude #29, what do you have against us?
Guess who got Leitner’s job with the Chargers?
Yessssssssssss, me with my lisssssssssssp.
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, Hon.
All right, I’ve been waiting years for this. When do I bat?
I like Mike Shannon, but I only listen to games that Jack Buck is nnouncing.
Andy, you don’t get AM-1000 in the Valley of the Rock?
At least they’ve got the professional, national announcers.
Mulder got hit with a line drive and I said “I hope it hit him in his pitching arm.”
You have to love me!
I don’t have a “real” radio in my office anymore.
This inning I have walked a guy, taken a liner off my body and hit the next batter. I’m going for the Clement/Hudson combo!
Cardinal fans are the greatest fans in the world
Am I white, black, what?
Our lineup would of done the same exact thing.
Mulder is dealing today
Ben, how in the world are you playing when Manny Alexander is on the roster?
espnradio.com
I imagine they have a feed.
Best in Desipio Gamecast history.
Yadier “Put out another grease fire with my forehead last night†Molina, c
Classic.
What’s the line from Ball Four? “It looks like his face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a track shoe”.
That Pedro Astocio needs to open his fricking eyes for his gamecast picture
We’re not allowed to stream the audio of playoff games.
The “mighty” 1090 isn’t that bad. At least they’re rooting for the right team.
I just said Albie Pujols just might win the gold glove. I am a fucking idiot.
#49 Not if I have anything to say about it.
I am a sure fire gold glover though
Everyone listening to the Cardinal baseball network!!!!!
#49 and #50
What am I, chopped liver?
If you were a race horse, the answer would be yes
Todd you didn’t have Nomar and E-ramis throwing to you..So yeas you are chopped liver.
Dude, all those walked clogged the bases for StL. They should of swung on th first pitch everytime
I’m starting to enjoy the Padres feed. Leitner just said. “Pedro’s got a big set!”
And he meant it like you’d think he meant it.
Ooh, Randy!
Anyone seen my car?
I sold you that car, Manny. I can’t believe you use it to carry contraband.
Anyway, anyone see my pet gerbil?
It honestly compels me to say Bob, I took your gerbil..The Beege works magic with those critters.
It never gets old doing a suicide squeeze
There’s that….thing again, where the runner runs and the batter bunts.
Why do they not get ejected for cheating like that?
Hey, how’s my boyfriend Khalil doing today? Um, wait, was that out loud? I meant to say I miss my wife and kids in Orlando, hi honey!!!
What are the Padres starters averaging, 4 innings?
I’ll tell you who WON’T be getting any consideration for a first baseman’s gold glove.
Xavier Nady.
Whoa.
Nady throws like me!
So far I’ve called Andruw Jones, Albert Jones and I just called Damian Jackson, Darrin Jackson three times in two minutes.
Once, I was young and pretty like Albert.
Of course, we are the same age.
I hope the Padres can do something to prove they belong. This is breaking my heart because I hate the Yankees/Cardinals loving media.
check out my site if you get board.
Dude are you kidding me? We suck balls. We have no business here and were proving it!
This game brows.
I will not stop fellating Lassie! He is so dreamy!
d’oh!
Gamecasts have sucked lately….75 total posts?….jeez drop this crap and talk Bears or even Blackhawks.
Patience, grasshopper. Only one GameCast left. Sox-Sox today at 3.
Oh good, I can buy Cardinals World Series tickets on Desipio now.