Prince.  Don’t eat that.  Come on!

It really is funny when fans overreact to anything that happens in the first game of the season.  Yeah, we get it.  E-ramis sucks, Kerry Wood sucks, the Cubs are going to lose 162 games, blah, blah, blah.

Personally, I like to take a broader view.  I like to give them two games.

Oh, I kid because I care.  Let me just say that I understand why Cubs fans tend to panic more than most fans.  Because they’re usually right to.  Like I pointed out in the GameCast yesterday (after a search that took all of about four minutes), the last team to start the season 0-2 and go to the World Series was way back in ought-four.  Yes, 2004, not 1904, when the hated Cardinals started 0-2 (and eventually 4-6) before winning 105 games.  I’m sure that some Cardinals fans panicked and jumped out the window (only to be really happy that the haybales that insulate the underside of the trailer were there to break their fall), but most didn’t.

Why?  Because their team doesn’t have a history of 100 years of losing to cause them dread and fear.

That proud history also includes copious amounts of grain alcohol, blatant racism, turning Sudafed into a “behind the counter” drug and dead players, but this isn’t about them.

People have been complaining about the batting order since Lou first unveiled it late in spring training.  We all know why he moved Alfonso Soriano out of the leadoff spot, and it had nothing to do with his legs.  He did it because the Cubs were supposed to trade for Brian Roberts before opening day, and Lou was going to hit Roberts first.  He just wanted to get Al used to batting someplace else.

I’m surprised when the trade fell apart that he didn’t put Soriano back in the top spot right away.  Nope.  He waited two games.  Another reason to love Lou.  He doesn’t ponder stuff, he just does it.  If this doesn’t work, he’ll try something else.

I’d like to see Fukkake or Mark DeRosa hitting second with Captain Gritty batting eighth (so that Felix Pennsylvania doesn’t have to), but I’m willing to wait.  That probably won’t happen for a while.  Until, you know, Saturday or something.

I’d say more disturbing than fans booing Kevin Hart for his wild pitch, or Geovany Soto for going all Michael Barrett and throwing a ball into centerfield with a runner on third, or Lou changing the batting order so quickly is this:

Yosh Kawano has seen enough of this crap.  He’s outie.  Seventy years is enough.  He’s been quite the good luck charm, that Yosh.  Wow, we’re really going to miss his calming influence and how it’s paid off.  Honestly, I’m not so sure all of this losing isn’t his fault.  Other than being the inspiration for floppy hat day, what has he done that’s so great.  Other than show up for work and not die.  Big whup.

Some guy named John Lemon conducted a very insightful interview with Len Kasper in which he managed to spell Bob Brenly’s name wrong…three times.  I mean really, why would you spell it right?  It’s not like it’s your job or anything.  Good job, John.  Maybe tomorrow you can write a piece about fans’ memories of Harry Carey or Lou Boodrough?  I always thought that Dwaine Statz was underrated, too.

The Boston Globe’s Nick Cafardo says the Cubs and White Sox are both talking to the Red Sox about Coco Crisp.  I don’t have any doubt that Jim Hendry is interested in Coco Crisp.  I mean, I can certainly see him eating a crapload of sugary cereal every day.

If the Red Sox had a guy named Denver Omelet, Jimmy’d be all over that, too.