The day that the Padres announced that they were releasing Jim Edmonds and his .178 batting average, his declining outfield range and his suitcase full of mascara I started to worry a little bit.
Edmonds, so full of veteran moxie and gamertude that old-school GMs like Walt Jocketty, Jim Hendry and apparently Kevin Towers eat up. Jocketty had signed Edmonds to a contract extension that he didn’t deserve after the 2006 World Series, and Towers had paid him actual cash money after last season when it was clear that Edmonds had nothing left. What, I worried, was there to stop Jim Hendry from going bobbing for a-holes and coming up with Edmonds?
Then, suspicions were confirmed when Seabiscuit’s Jockey reported that the Cubs “were exploring the possibility” of bringing Lassie to town.
Guh. This makes sense in so many ways, but only to Jim Hendry.
1. The Cubs would like to send Felix Pie to AAA for a while, but doing so makes Reed Johnson the everyday centerfielder with no real backup. Sure, you can move Fukkake over to center in a pinch, but that puts Mark DeRosa in right and Mike Fontenot at second and if Lou’s already taken DeRosa out of a game then you have Daryle Ward in right, and even though Major League Baseball will let you pinch run for Daryle, they don’t give you a courtesy outfielder to use for him out there.
So, the only option is to find a backup centerfielder. There isn’t much freely available out there. The great Sam Fuld is hitting .213 in Iowa, career minor leaguer Andres Torres is hitting .342 but he’s no Trenidad Hubbard. Guh.
2. Edmonds would come cheap. The Padres are on the hook for the rest of the $5 million they signed him for this year, so the Cubs only have to pay him the league minimum.
3. He can platoon with Johnson who bats righthanded.
4. He’s a great defensive outfielder, so even if his offense is in the crapper, he still has value.
5. He’s a “winner.”
OK, now let’s cut through the bullshit, shall we?
1. Honestly, Andres Torres is better than Jim Edmonds right now. It says more about how bad Jim Edmonds is than how good Andres Torres is. Honestly, I couldn’t pick Andres Torres out of a police lineup, but I’ll bet you that Jim Edmonds couldn’t hit .342 at Iowa these days.
2. Most things that come cheap, are cheap.
3. Edmonds never could hit lefties. His career numbers against them are mediocre at best. He’s hit .254 against lefties (.297 v. righties), with an on base average of .335 (.393 v. righties) and a .438 slugging average (v. .559). But in recent years he hasn’t even hit righthanders. This year in 73 at bats against righthanders he ‘s hitting .192/.286/.247. Yes, his on base average, as bad as it is, is worse than his slugging percentage. Last year he didn’t exactly torch righties he was .268/.336/.419 against them.
Plus, if you actually platooned them, Edmonds would get most of the playing time. While Johnson hasn’t been Willie Mays out there, he’s done very well against lefties (.306/.373/.454), but his numbers against the righties that Edmonds would be facing are better than what Edmonds is likely to do (.266/.327/.380) against them, even with Edmonds’ supposed lefty-righty advantage.
Now, you could say that Edmonds doesn’t have to outperform Johnson, he just has to outhit Felix Pie.
As bad as Felix has been so far, he put up better numbers against righties than Edmonds did (hell, most pitchers have outdone Edmonds this year) .245/.317/.321. Yes, that’s Felix outhitting Edmonds by 53 points with higher on base and slugging percentages.
Nice upgrade.
4. Edmonds “was” a great defensive outfielder. But years of running into fences, needlessly slowing down to dive for otherwise routine balls and “hanging with best buddy Mark McGwire” (take that however you want to) have taken their toll. At this point in his career Andy Van Slyke (right now) probably has more range than Edmonds.
5. This is the one that’s most likely going to pique Hendry’s interest. Old Lassie’s a winner. He’s got some nice postseason numbers (in 61 postseason games) .277/.365/.523 with 13 homers, 42 RBI. That’s great. You know who else has nice postseason numbers? Mickey Mantle. He can’t play anymore either.
Frankly, I’d be more surprised if the Cubs didn’t sign Edmonds than if they did. On the message board I likened it to Ed Lynch signing Gary Gaetti in 1998. But honestly, Gaetti wasn’t nearly as shot as Edmonds. When the Cardinals waived him with less than 50 games left in the season Gaetti was hitting .265/.339/.454. Not great, but not terrible. Nobody knew he was going to go nuts and hit .320 for the Cubs in 37 games, but looking back, as unlikely as that was, it’s a lot more likely than getting anything out of Edmonds from here on out.
Just say no, Jim. Please. Do it for me.
———————————————-
Remember back on April 16, 2004 when the Cubs won that wild game against the Reds on back to back homers in the ninth by Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou? That game contained another famous moment. When Dusty Baker’s Cubs batted out of order in the seventh inning. You remember Dusty going nuts and blaming the home plate ump for misinterpreting how he wanted to double switch Ramon Martinez into the game, and in the frenzy on the field Dusty threw his hat and all that crap?
Here’s how retrosheet had the seventh inning:
CUBS 7TH: Mercker grounded out (catcher unassisted); Martinez
led off the inning with a double and then the Reds protested
that the Cubs were batting out of order; Mercker, the proper
batter, was called out; Dusty Baker argued with the umpires but
was told that the call stood; yelling & screaming, he tossed his
lineup card on the ground and was ejected by Bucknor; Baker
threw his hat away, walked away and returned; he tossed his hat
again, stomped to the dugout and kicked some items in the on
deck cirle before finally leaving the field; NORTON REPLACED
RIEDLING (PITCHING); Walker singled to left; Patterson doubled
to right [Walker to third]; REITH REPLACED NORTON (PITCHING);
Sosa walked; Alou was called out on strikes; Ramirez doubled to
left [Walker scored, Patterson scored, Sosa to third]; Lee was
called out on strikes; 2 R, 3 H, 0 E, 2 LOB. Reds 9, Cubs 7.
Well, guess what happened to Dusty’s Reds yesterday?
You’ve got to be kidding me.
The Reds batted out of order in the ninth. The play had no effect on the game. But it made for an embarrassing end to an ugly day.”That was my fault,” Baker said. “The lineup was right on the board and on my lineup card. But I didn’t catch it.”
(Hey, looks like Dusty is taking responsibility!)
David Ross went up to lead off the inning in the eight spot. Corey Patterson was actually in the eighth.
Ross flied to right. But after New York manager Willie Randolph pointed out the error, Patterson was credited with the out, and Ross was sent back up – after a 12-minute delay while the umpires sorted things out.
Ross singled this time.
“It’s up to players to check the board,” Baker said. “But it’s my job to make sure they’re in the right order.”
(Oops, I guess not.)
The Reds were operating without a bench coach. Bench coach Chris Speier was coaching third because third base coach Mark Berry went home to Arizona to be with his ill father.
But Ross should have known. He hit in the right spot in the seventh.
“I know,” Baker said. “I’m trying to cover things. It can happen. It doesn’t happen often. It worked out for Ross. Corey got an 0-for-1 without even hitting. He’s going bad enough. We don’t need that.
(‘It doesn’t happen often?’ Really, big leaguers batting out of order doesn’t happen often? And yet, it’s happened to your teams twice in the last four years, only three of which you’ve actually managed in.)
“As a manager, you take responsibility.”
(You mean you’re supposed to take responsibility. Doesn’t seem like you are.)
I’m back pitching in triple AAA, baby. I’m no longer irrelevant.
Edmonds? Seriously? Who exactly do we have to blow to get signed?
No love for me, buddy?
Okay, my time on the “Give Edmonds a Look-See” Bandwagon was short-lived. Thank god, I was feeling dirty.
I think Chip would approve of having Edmonds in CF. Literally.
Besides, if the Cubs signed fucking Edmonds, you know damn well the priss would repeat that whole Dave Veres bullshit. You know, “I’m really a Cardinal at heart, I know I just fucked the Cubs over by blowing a 5-run lead in the 8th inning, but it helps Redbird Nation, so that’s some consolation for me.”
I paraphrased, but you get the gist of it. Fuck the Cardinals and their rejects.
I’ll never goto the Cubs and their horrible showers. Makes it much harder to…impress my teammates with that cold water.
Fuck
Fucked
Fucking
Fukudome
Fucky Fucki Fucke (I think that was a Euro porn movie title or something)
Phuck
Chuck
Do we need this?
http://bp1.blogger.com/_g3IRMXdaMFc/SBqkrb8wF_I/AAAAAAAAA4M/qKaGRTBEwmU/s400/cardinals
Anyone know how often teams bat out of order? Does it happen at least once a season among at least one of the 30 teams?
Seriously, if they pick up Edmonds, I’m turning in my Cubs Fan card. 30 years of fandom could be erased with that one signing. Guh…
Jock would be better for the role than Lassie. Seriously.
I’m glad someone else enjoyed the Dusty Double Switch get botched. When Sportscenter showed that clip before bed last night, I was once again reminded of what an upgrade Lou is. I couldn’t be more glad that Dusty’s gone.
As for how often it happens, it looks like an average of once a year or so.
http://www.retrosheet.org/outturn.htm
What that list shows is that it’s happened nine times since 1998 and 33 percent of them have happened to a team managed by Dusty Baker.
Dude!
I seem to think that if Lassie clears waivers, he will be a Cub.
Simply astonishing.
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/945598,edmonds051208.article
Kill him…
First Chad Fox, now Lassie…quick, what other useless 38 year olds can we sign?
Somebody kick my fat ass and take the box of donuts away if I sign Edmonds. But he is a winner though…
Jesus, if the Cubs sign Edmunds I swear to god I will kill myself while aiming a gun at Hendry through my temple. Edmunds signifies everything I hate about professional athletes and also I’ve booed his lame ass at wrigley a million times… Please don’t ruin this summer for us. Jesus!
We show up at Wrigley this weekend and all there is to talk about is a crappy ball player who might sign with the Cubs?
I suppose we might not have shown up if Lassie was patrolling CF instead of Reed Johnson
Is Edmonds really motivated to beat the Cardinals like I said? or is that just wishful thinking and a ploy to make Cubs fans think it would be a good pick-up?
I’m not sure we can say the other Tard reject, Marquis du Suc, has really worked out so why try it again? By the way, great game again last night. If this had been little league they would have ended that thing early.
I worked out smashingly.
Edmonds will try to bring down the Cubs from the inside!
Maybe Hendry just wants to sign Edmonds so he can be the last guy to waive him?
Sigh.
Wishful thinking.
I can still play! Put me in! Baseball been berry berry bad to me since I left the Cubbies! Plus, I’m now cork-free! Honest!
We proved that Cork actually makes the ball less likely to go out of the park. In doing so we also proved that guys like Sammy and Albert Belle were not cheating. They were just morans!
So #28, when they finally find some way to prove Sosa did steroids, that will be offset by his corking. He is the legit HR champion!
The Padres are the worst team in the NL, and they cut Edmunds. What else do you need to know?
I can’t recall the signing of *any* former Cardinal producing anything positive for the Cubs.
If you thought I was bad in San Diego, wait til you see how I play after consecutive nights out in boystown.
Come on, guys! I find a guy who is several magnitudes worse than Pie, and all you can do is complain? I don’t get any credit for my sleuthing?
Oh, you wanted a left-handed batter that can still HIT? Shoot, my bad.
What is with the lassie comments? What does it mean?
No. Simply, no.
I’d rather have Sosa back than Edmonds.
Oh. Jesus, they went ahead and did it. Damn.
Well, I can always root for an injury.
Lesssee……I got Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock down here with me in the World’s Largest Underground Sauna.
And now, as my most exquisite punishment, I put Jimmy E up with the Quiche-Eating Ivy Huggers on Da’ Nordtside. It’s the price he paid me for the 2006 World Series ring he now wears.
Boys, you see what happens when you make a pact with me !?!?!?!?
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!
Your southern buddy,
Lucifer Le Rouge
Your annoyingly-resident, occasionally-posting, hyphen-spewing Satanic Fowl Friend