I’m sure it had more to do with the 49 days of homerless frustration than anything else, but could Sammy Sosa have proven his point more emphatically than with that absolute bomb of a home run he yanked out of the so-called Great American Ballpark last night?

Measured, conservatively at 464 feet, the homer is the longest in the short history of the new bandbox. Had it not been for that weird black building in center field, some yokel in Kentucky would have had a baseball crashing through one of the windows in his trailer.

As if to prove his bat wasn’t corked, he broke it last night, too. Nothing flew out of it but good old wood, you ash holes. Can we move on, yet?

Meanwhile, on the mound Kerry Wood was pitching with a clue. Dominating, effortless and downright demoralizing to the opposition. If he could pitch with that strategy in mind every time out…well, which finger do you wear the NL Championship ring on, anyway?

You try and rationalize in your mind that the Cardinals are better, the Astros have the fearsome bullpen Chip and Steve are obsessed with and that the Cubs can’t stay in front all year long. And then, the Cubs take on the Central’s best offense in their home park where they are averaging more than six runs per game and hold them to six runs total in the first three games.

Mike Downey tried to do his part to downplay the Cubs start, pointing out that on Monday morning the Cubs only had six more wins than the White Sox. Nice try, Mike. When one team has 38 wins and the other has 32, that’s a big difference. A third of the way through the season that computes to the Cubs winning 18 more than the Sox. In any league, that’s a big difference.

What are we getting at here, you ask? The cold reality for the rest of the NL Central is this.

– Mark Prior, Kerry Wood and Carlos Zambrano are more likely to get better as the year goes on than they are to get worse.
– The Cubs are in first place without any kind of Sammy Sosa hot streak. If you don’t think it’s coming, you really need to cut the Prozac in half.
– The Cubs have proven they can win on the road, they can win at home, they have a winning record in the division, a winning record against the American League, a winning record against the NL East and have split 12 games with the teams in the NL West. Unless Major League Baseball finds somebody else for the Cubs to play, there’s no problem.
– The Cardinals’ problems are a lot deeper than getting Jason Isringhausen back. Besides, if he was clocked at 98 on the radar gun the other night, somebody was holding the gun upside down.
– The Astros keep putting Roy Oswalt on the DL with a bad groin. If any team should be able to massage a guy’s groin back to health it would be the Biggio-led Astros. Something’s not working.

In other words, the Cubs gave the rest of the division 70 games to stake a claim to the top spot. In the next 70, it’s time to put the hammer down and leave everybody else as dots in the rear view.

—

Gee, do you think that Dusty didn’t want Bobby Hill called up, or what?

Last night, I’m on the phone with my friend Wheels. He tells me to turn over to Fox Sports Chicago because Paul Konerko is batting with the bases loaded. Wheels says, “There’s a lefty on the mound, so he’ll ground into a double play to the shortstop. If a righty was in, he’d hit it to the second baseman.” One pitch later, Nomar turns a nifty 6-2-3 double play, and the Sox don’t score.

I’d like to see a 100 meter sprint between Eric Karros, Paul Konerko and Sean Casey, but really, who has the 48 seconds to spend to watch them run it?

Paul Bako came into last night’s game 7-14 lifetime against Reds’ starter Jimmy Haynes. If Paul Bako is hitting .500 against you, you should be pitching in the Frontier League.

I know that Frank Thomas is hitting well since he got to play first base regularly. But I’ve seen this man play defense, and I’m still convinced he’s letting in more runs than he’s driving in.

This morning on the Score morning show, fill-in host, and mental midget Jesse Rogers blamed Wood losing his perfect game on the fact that Chip talked about it on the air. Look, Chip and I aren’t exactly sending each other Christmas cards these days, but Jesse, “Shut the hell up.” Can you imagine watching a baseball game in which the pitcher was throwing a perfect game and the announcer didn’t mention it?

The links are coming up later today…I had to post this now because you guys were having too much fun debating each other’s grammar on the discussion from yesterday’s Dose…but two things about the articles I’ve read today.

1- Carol Slezak names her All-Chicago team (this pointless exercise amuses me) and she picks Stevie Loiaza as the best pitcher in town (sure, whatever) and Mark Prior as the Chicago baseball MVP. Huh? How can Stevie be a better pitcher, but Mark’s the best player in town?

2- ESPN.com has an article on how long it will take NASCAR fans to call it the Nextel Cup instead of the Winston Cup, now that the phone company has bought the rights to the award. Look, NASCAR fans still call the Civil War, “The War of Northern Aggression.” That ended more than 135 years ago. I think it’s safe to say as long as they’re still sticking Winstons directly into their trachea tubes, they’ll be calling the points championship by the old name.

—OK, I’m back. Time to do the links.

All Kerry wanted was a little support. He’s lucky he got four runs, and not just a hug.

Mike Downey declares the cork thing over. If only it were that easy.

The Reds do a bouncy little dance when they win. Nice. If it didn’t work for Ickey Woods, it ain’t gonna work for you clowns.

Brian Daubach was having a big night…you know, until Jerry Manuel brought in red hot Paul Konerko to ground into a double play for him.

Chicagosports.com compares the Chicago managers. As Ty Willingham would put it, “Day…night.”

I think John Paxson cancelled his trip to Paris because he was afraid he’d run into those Real World losers.

Both Toronto Blue Jays fans wrote this editorial about how it sucked that they had to pay extra to watch the Sosa-less Cubs last weekend. Boo freakin’ hoo.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to prove that he’s a five-tool tool.

Carol Slezak’s awful all-Chicago team.

Bruce Weber gets to go up against the man who got him his job at Illinois…Roy Williams.

The Wizard of Roz contends that Sammy is claiming this cork fury is racially motivated. Look, I saw the press conference that Sammy supposedly dealt the race card. There’s a reason Roz has no quotes form him in this column. Sammy never said it. The closest he came was when he said he agreed with some of the things Pedro Martinez and Gary Sheffield had said. Sammy rubbed his skin in response to a question, too. But the question was about how Sammy would be able to handle the criticism, and Sammy (to me at least) was showing he had thick skin. Go sell stupid someplace else, Roz. We’re not buying.

Oh, for Chrissakes, why don’t the ACC and Big East just merge?

Sports Guy with some ramblings.

Look at this rube! ESPN.com’s NASCAR “expert”.

Spanish-yes.com previews every Division I football team.

The important ones are here and here.

If Pammy and Kid can’t make it work, what chance do any of us have? At least he gave her something…Hepatitis…but still.

It’s always a shame when a moose stomps on a poodle.

Perhaps it was just their way of celebrating Father’s Day?

What’s so wrong about a teenage nudist camp?

Prince Willie’s not leaving til he’s heaving!

The world’s greatest newspaper says that North Korea has some missiles pointed at us. However, if they shoot them, they’ll only go four miles. But still, they’re pointed at us!