Apparently copying Jim Hendry is all the fashion now in Chicago. Bears’ General Manager Jerry Angelo made a bold trade in the Nomar mold on Saturday when he sent the Bears’ only proven offensive player to Miami for a guy who actually has proven he can find the quarterback and throw him to the ground while the quarterback still has the ball.
Not to be outdone, Kenny Williams has decided to emulate Jim Hendry too, so he’s left his wife and stopped combing his hair.
While the aforementioned Nomar was sitting out his second straight game with an inflamed Achilles tendon, the Cubs were putting their most recent “most painful loss of the season” in the rear view mirror.
This was exactly the kind of thing they did last year down the stretch. They’d lose a game in absurd fashion (remember the time that Josh Hall beat them 1-0) and then come back and win four in a row.
Well, three more would be nice.
So would seven.
So that gives us at least four big things to ponder. So…let’s ponder.
How can you trade your only good wide receiver when you have a first-year starter at quarterback?
Here’s how this works. Two of the dumbest men in professional football (former Bears coach Dave Wannstedt and former Bears personnel man Rick Spielman) call you up and offer you a chance to get an impact defensive player and all it’s going to cost you is a glorified possession wide receiver and a third round draft pick. You can’t say no. If you say no, you’re even dumber than Wanny. And that’s hard to do.
Rex Grossman will miss Marty Booker. Marty’s the one receiver the Bears had who actually ran patterns to the part of the field that the play was designed for him to run to. He managed to catch 100 passes one year when all he had was chronically hospitalized Jim Miller, weenie armed Shane Matthews and even weenier armed Danny Wuerffel throwing him the ball. That’s no small feat.
But wide receivers literally grow on trees. There’s one in Florida that Larry Coker planted behind the Coral Gables YWCA. Defensive ends who can lead the AFC in sacks and still tackle a running back from time to time do not come around often.
The saddest part of all this is that Booker knows what he’s getting into in Miami. He’s been through a Wanny death watch before. It’s not fun. It’s going to be a miserable year in south Florida. This is how bad their quarterbacking situation is down there. All they have are the enormous ears of Jay Fielder and Heather Mitts’ boyfriend AJ Feeley. Even the Bears can openly mock that assortment of “talent.”
(Cue the gratuitous Heather Mitts photo…)
The best part of the trade for the Bears isn’t just that Ogunleye is only 27, but it’s that there’s no way in hell that Jeff Joniak will ever get his name right.
The Bears do a disservice to an already horrific radio broadcast team by hiring Dave Barnett to do the TV call for the preseason games. Barnett is really good. So a typical Bears fan will listen to Barnett and Ditka (lovable…but not good) for four games and then when the real season starts they’ll turn down the TV sound (to avoid the Bears’ D-level status announcers–Curt Menefee and Tim Green or someone of that ilk) and get the constant blatherings of Jeff “I have no idea what yard line the ball is on” Joniak, Hub “so obnoxious I need to be bludgeoned” Arkus and Tom “why am I trapped with these nitwits” Thayer. It’s at that moment that every Bears fan comes to the horrendous realization that we have the worst radio announcers in the NFL. This is why they used to hire “Hollerin'” Kevin Harlan…nobody ever noticed the difference…because there wasn’t any.
Unfortunately for Joniak, Hollerin’s brother Bryan developed a gambling addiction and got fired from the Bears, and that kind of curtailed things.
Enough of that…on to number two…
What the hell happened in the ninth inning Saturday night?
Jose Macias giveth and he taketh away is what happened. When E-ramis singled to open the ninth and the Cubs down 2-1, Dusty took out the Gimpy Groin and pinch ran Jose. Jose scored easily on the triple that Michael Barrett hit, (and if E-ramis had stayed in the game it would have been a no RBI double). That set up the stage for Ramon Martinez’s RBI sac fly to left to put the Cubs up 3-2.
Chip Caray was in stunned disbelief as the great Brad Lidge had blown a save! Gasp! However, if Chip had any semblance of memory, he might recall that the last time the Cubs saw Lidge he gave up a game-losing homer to Sammy. But, oh, well.
In the bottom of the ninth LaTroy got things off to a raucous start by giving up a leadoff single to Jeff Pornstache. The Astros pinch ran Mike Brumley (hey, remember him!)…oh, it was Brumlett, not Brumley…anyway….whatever. Morgan Ensberg sac bunted to Macias who threw the ball into the bullpen. OK, not quite the bullpen, but it allowed Bruntlett to go to third and Ensberg to second. Ensberg actually pumped his fist as he watched the ball roll down the right field line. Who could blame him, you don’t see a throw miss a human by that much, that often.
The next ball was hit one step to Macias’ left. Had he been back at normal third base depth (which he would have been…had say…there been a runner at second and one out) it’s an easy play. Instead it’s an RBI single into left.
Now I’m not saying Jose lost the game, because LaTroy got himself into and not out of that jam, but Jose sure helped. The worst part was that the Giants had lost and the Cubs could have taken over the Wild Card lead AND Roy Oswalt was pitching on Sunday, which meant the Cubs would likely lose the series.
When the game started on Sunday and Nomar was resting his Achilles’…again…things looked bleak.
Was the ump wrong for throwing Kerry Wood out of yesterday’s game? No. And I will not argue this. When Roy Oswalt smoked Michael Barrett on the first pitch after E-ramis’ three run jack in the third, you knew that Roy was going to get tossed and warnings would be issued. They were. You also knew that Kerry would likely hit somebody on accident and that the bullpen was going to get a work out. Sure enough, Kerry hit Carlos Beltran in the foot. Home plate ump Bill Hohn didn’t throw Kerry out. That was Kerry’s only freebie. Regardless of whether or not he tried to hit somebody, if he hit another batter you had to throw him. He’d already hit two. Is it that much to ask that Kerry Wood not hit three guys in five innings? Apparently, it is to Kerry. So when he hit Pornstache in the fifth, he had to get tossed. If, for no other reason, than the Astros were going to nail somebody in the sixth in retaliation and then who knows what would have happened. Kerry didn’t hit Kent on purpose and I’m sure Hohn knew that, but Kerry didn’t leave him any choice.
So, for once, I think the ump did the right thing. And if it means that you don’t get a win with an eight run lead in the fifth, then boo freakin’ hoo, you shouldn’t have hit three guys.
Is Nomar’s Achilles falling off?
He sat out Saturday and Sunday in Houston and said that he could have played yesterday. Dusty told him not to risk it. As intrepid reader Chris Troha said in an e-mail this morning, “An MRI on his achilles? George Ofman is already reporting that Nomar will be having Tommy John surgery tomorrow.”
Nomar seemed pretty happy in the dugout yesterday, so if you were looking for a guy to show signs that his tendon is in really bad shape, he wasn’t showing any. So that’s a good thing.
At the very least, Nomar’s tendons are likely in better shape than Wrigley Field.
The city is again threatening to shut down Wrigley, this time spurred on by an LA Times report that some concrete repair work was done “shoddily.” So this is how the city decides to close buildings? They read the LA papers?
The worst case scenario could lead to one of the most surreal Cubs games ever. A game could be played with the grandstands empty of fans, but with the bleachers full. Wait, that’s happened before. In fact, it used to happen all the time from 1980 to 1983.
Or, the Cubs could play at US Comiskular where a Chicago team has lost 13 of the last 17 games played there (that’d be the White Sox.)
Regardless, the Cubs are back in town, after going 4-2 on a road trip (that should have been 5-1) and play the same two teams seven times in seven days. So, they’ve got that going for them. Which is nice.
—
Hello again, everybody, it’s Karry Ling here with more Olympics coverage! What a weekend we had here in Athens. The women’s marathon was held yesterday and it started in a city called, of all things, Marathon!
The big news was that British marathoner Paula Radcliffe was a huge favorite to win. I don’t know a lot about the details of marathons, but I do know why she lost. She didn’t finish. Hell, Pepe can jog 26 miles, and he’s a yak.
Radcliffe only made it 36 km, and that’s about 22 miles. Which isn’t 26. Last I checked.
Pepe and I caught up with a very disappointed Paula Radcliffe after the race.
Karry: Paula, you have to be disappointed to not win the marathon, especially since you were such a big favorite.
Paula: I’m very disappointed.
See, that’s why I said she was a “very disappointed Paula Radcliffe.”
Karry: What happened?
Paula: I had a bloody cramp.
Karry: Ewww. I guess it’s unfortunate then that the marathon was held near the end of the month?
Paula: What? Oh, heavens no. It was a just a bloody cramp. That’s all.
Karry: How bloody was it?
Paula: It wasn’t “bloody” bloody. It’s an expression. Like if you say that your work as a writer is “bloody terrible.” Or if someone says you’re a “bloody pervert” or that your “bloody yak smells like paint thinner.” Why does he smell like paint thinner, by the way?
Karry: I think that’s uzo.
So, I think that’s a scoop for us here at Desipio. Because when she said “bloody cramp” I think the rest of us thought the same thing. Until next time, I’m Karry Ling.
—
Uh…I have nothing to add to that. Let’s get to the links:
Kerry’s mad at the umps, but come on…
The Cubs expect the old dump to be standing tonight. No, not Moises…Wrigley.
Nomar’s getting an MRI. The Cubs really should just buy an MRI machine. Between Gruddy, The Franchise and Nomar that thing gets plenty of use.
Todd Walker’s getting tired of the bench. I think he’s just tired of sitting next to Bako.
I’m still giddy that the Bears got Wale Ugunleye. I might even have to learn how to spell it.
Alex Brown and Michael Haynes get to duke it out, now.
Gary Matthews is mad at the official scorer in Houston and the one in Chicago. I had no idea the official scorer is the guy who makes the Cubs strike out so much.
The fate of the Bears’ offense rests in the capable(?) hands of David Terrell. Gulp.
Yay! Our lesbians are better than Australia’s lesbians! Look at the beautfil Crystal Bustos. She’s just so darn feminine.
Jayson Stark claims that Adam Dunn hit a ball into the Ohio River and subsequently to Kentucky.
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback.
A doctor explains how he used a hunk of Michael Jackson’s ear to fix his nose. But wait, Michael says he’s never had plastic surgery. Wait, he’s lying? Somebody get George Ofman on this.
The world’s greatest newspaper says that a California man got a life sentence for sneaking popcorn into a movie theater.
Actually, it’s my Achilles that I had the problem with.
Um, Andy, I think I missed the Wanny death march by a year here.
So the Bears pull off a big trade (in a sport in which trades have become increasingly rare) and Pro Football Expert Peter King manages to devote 1 entire paragraph to it? He’s written longer stories about his daughter’s softball team! Dumbass.
I believe No. 2 means "Marty". Mary Booker was Marty’s alias when he played for the women’s Olympic Softball team 4 years ago.
True story–
I caught the Triple-A all-star game in mid-July on ESPN. It was sad. Instead of great prospects competing, it was all AAAA over-the-hill has-beens and never-weres who would beat up on AAA pitching every chance they had but never be good anough to stay in the bigs. Ex-Cub greats Midre Cummings and Trenidad Hubbard played. In fact, apparent future Cub, Kevin Tolar of Iowa pitched. Kevin Tolar? Had anybody ever heard of this guy? As in, Guzman, Brownlie…TOLAR? Huh?
Some all-star game. An announcement reading PLEASE STAND BY would have garnered better ratings, so I doubt too many people watched it.
Anyway, to my utter amazement, one of thad sad, delusional, never-give-uo-the-dream-of-making-it attendees was none other than Mike Brumley, the throw-in in the Dennis Eckersley-for-Bill Buckner deal in May, 1984.
I repeat. May of 1984.
Who among us doesn’t remember Brumley’s callup in that glorious summer of ’87 when, because of the simultaneous injuries to Sandberg AND Dunston, his big-league double player partner turned out to be the great Paul Noce?
Brumley-to-Noce to strung-out Leon Durham. What a summer. Good times.
And in 2003, Mike Brumley was running around a dirt field in Pawtucket, RI as an "all-star".
What a world.
Damnit. You’re right. I thought Booker played in 1998, Wanny’s last year. He got drafted in ’99.
Well, I’m sure he heard all about the Wanny death march. Or something.
Anyone watch the women’s 100? I have very strange feelings about the eventual winner, who hails from Belarus.
Is she a man? Or is she cute? I can’t tell, either way. I got problems, please help me.
Crystal Bustos is my daughter.
So she likes to eat, big deal.
Hey Hector, Crystal likes to "eat" and she’s great at it!
Interesting thing about that Nomar article, as much as we like to question Dusty’s in game moves, it appears that Nomar already likes playing for Dusty. He almost seems shocked that Baker would take the heat from the press for keeping him out of the game. I think this bodes well for the Cubs attempt to keep Nomar beyond this season.
I was interested to read that, statistically, B Lidge got the W from Saturday’s game.
The way it happened, he came in with a 1-run lead, gave up 2, then got out of jail when his team scored in the bottom of the 9th. How come he gets the W?
I’m assuming he got the win because he hadn’t been pulled for a PH yet. He was still the pitcher of record because he was still in the line-up for the bottom half of the inning, so it’s his win to go along with his BS.
Hey, I deserve to be an All-Star, buddy.
How does this answer your question, Mattus:
WINNING AND LOSING PITCHER
10.19
(a) Credit the starting pitcher with a game won only if he has pitched at least five complete innings and his team not only is in the lead when he is replaced but remains in the lead the remainder of the game. (b) The "must pitch five complete innings" rule in respect to the starting pitcher shall be in effect for all games of six or more innings. In a five inning game, credit the starting pitcher with a game won if he has pitched at least four complete innings and his team not only is in the lead when he is replaced but remains in the lead the remainder of the game. (c) When the starting pitcher cannot be credited with the victory because of the provisions of 10.19 (a) or (b) and more than one relief pitcher is used, the victory shall be awarded on the following basis: (1) When, during the tenure of the starting pitcher, the winning team assumes the lead and maintains it to the finish of the game, credit the victory to the relief pitcher judged by the scorer to have been the most effective; (2) Whenever the score is tied the game becomes a new contest insofar as the winning and losing pitcher is concerned; (3) Once the opposing team assumes the lead all pitchers who have pitched up to that point are excluded from being credited with the victory except that if the pitcher against whose pitching the opposing team gained the lead continues to pitch until his team regains the lead, which it holds to the finish of the game, that pitcher shall be the winning pitcher;
(4) The winning relief pitcher shall be the one who is the pitcher of record when his team assumes the lead and maintains it to the finish of the game. EXCEPTION: Do not credit a victory to a relief pitcher who is ineffective in a brief appearance, when a succeeding relief pitcher pitches effectively in helping his team maintain the lead. In such cases, credit the succeeding relief pitcher with the victory. (d) When a pitcher is removed for a substitute batter or substitute runner, all runs scored by his team during the inning in which he is removed shall be credited to his benefit in determining the pitcher of record when his team assumes the lead. (e) Regardless of how many innings the first pitcher has pitched, he shall be charged with the loss of the game if he is replaced when his team is behind in the score, or falls behind because of runs charged to him after he is replaced, and his team thereafter fails either to tie the score or gain the lead. (f) No pitcher shall be credited with pitching a shutout unless he pitches the complete game, or unless he enters the game with none out before the opposing team has scored in the first inning, puts out the side without a run scoring and pitches all the rest of the game. When two or more pitchers combine to pitch a shutout a notation to that effect should be included in the league’s official pitching records. (g) In some non championship games (such as the Major League All Star Game) it is provided in advance that each pitcher shall work a stated number of innings, usually two or three. In such games, it is customary to credit the victory to the pitcher of record, whether starter or reliever, when the winning team takes a lead which it maintains to the end of the game, unless such pitcher is knocked out after the winning team has a commanding lead, and the scorer believes a subsequent pitcher is entitled to credit for the victory.
I think I’m why Lidge got the win…
(d) When a pitcher is removed for a substitute batter or substitute runner, all runs scored by his team during the inning in which he is removed shall be credited to his benefit in determining the pitcher of record when his team assumes the lead.
Elroy Face of the Pirates apparently won a lot of games because of me, and Jerome Holtzman was tired of hearing how good he was. That’s why he invented the save and that’s why Kenny Williams thought Billy Koch was a good idea.
Still can’t find any pictures of the Belarus sprinter girl.
Which is probably a good thing.
Hey Sloth
Did Natalie Coughlin do anything for you (especially when she appeared in studio with letch Costas) with a skirt up to her eyes?
Yum.
weegipup – Yes, indeedy. She was dressed 2 f**k that night. Costas is just a guy. I would have done the same as him.
"So, where you going tonight, young lady? You know, I got money…lot$ and lot$ of money…and, I’ll wear a cap so’s you can’t see my bad toup."
BTW: I concur with Andy 1 million percent on the Booker-fer-GooglyEye trade.
Sit back and remember what it was like when this team had a pass rush. Weren’t those good times?
The Bears got Richard Dent back?
I haven’t been paying attention. Have I missed synchronized swimming? Rythmic gymnastics?
Sloth, who gives a damn about a pass rush? Everybody knows that sacks aren’t important.
I’m on the bench again tonight, bitches.
Hey, we had thirteen sacks last year! That’s pretty good. We forced eight turnovers, too.
Wow, that was a lousy assed defense, wasn’t it?
Can’t imagine why Greg lost his job.
Hot damn! When do I get called up?
You’ll see, in 10 more years, the rest of the world will be able to produce enough manly women to give us a run in women’s softball.
Who says I’m on the bench?
I reported it. It has to be true!
And George Ofman said they amputated Nomar’s leg so they could "examine it more closely." Sounds like he had Santo’s doctor.
The Cubs said that Nomar’s day-to-day because of a sore wrist suffered Friday!
I knew it! They are LYING!
Nomar should just call one of us- no need to hurt his wrist like that while Mia is away
Regarding your comments about women’s softball…I know it’s incredibly boring and no one ever scores, and I know all the players look like men (and if they don’t, they’re endlessly hyped as the world’s most beautiful woman or something, i.e. Jennie Finch), but do keep in mind that according to all the sportswriters in my hometown of Tucson (a pro sports-deprived area where the only major sports are Wildcats basketball and media destruction of football coaches they don’t like, i.e. John Mackovic), if you don’t like women’s softball, you’re an absolutely horrible person. Just wanted to set the record straight.
P.S. Go Wildcats and Mike Stoops in 2004!
I must find and kill Geoff Jenkins and that pathetic judy hit he got off me.
And by the way, today was the last day this year that we will trail anyone for a playoff spot.
I also laid my hands on Nomar and healed his Achilles and wrist.
He says he hurt it playing too much Madden football. I think he hurt it masturbating without porn. I told him it takes too long, but some guys never listen.
What am I, chopped liver?
When I’m not a benchwarmer, I’m the #3 hitter.
Isn’t that strange?
Not really, Todd. I’m a #2 hitter when I’m not a benchwarmer. But I’m awesome, so nevermind.
Huh?
With a line like I had pitching in Iowa last night, I’m ready to go!
http://www.iowacubs.com/asp/boxscore.asp?showbox=yes&gameID=748
I’d didn’t say where I was going though.
With a line like I had pitching in Iowa last night, I’m ready to go!
http://www.iowacubs.com/asp/boxscore.asp?showbox=yes&gameID=748
I didn’t say where I was going though.
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