The Cubs decided to prove to me and the world that they weren’t as dull as they may have previously appeared. Last night they started off with a bang. The Cubs hit three homers off of erstwhile Reds’ starter Matt Belisle before the first inning was over, including a Derrek Lee moon shot that landed in Kentucky.
Couple that with Kerry Wood having his control and a good slider and when he was staked to 5-1 and 4-0 leads, you figured things were safe.
Uh…no.
See when Kerry has “his” good control, that’s relative. It’s like when Carrottop is using “his” funny material. Or when Maroon 5 are playing “their” good stuff. It’s still off.
So he gave up a pair of bombs to Adam Dunn. Both times, Michael Barrett set up inside, and both times Michael just about came out of his shoes trying to dive back across the plate. That’s never a good sign.
Kerry’s meltdown went critical in the sixth. This inning wasn’t exactly Dusty Baker’s finest hour, either.
Clinging to a 5-3 lead, the bullpen remained quiet until Kerry had runners at first and third. Oh, sure. Now he’s in trouble.
It looked like Kerry was going to catch a break when Rich Aurilia hit a foul ball down the right field line. Jeromy Burnitz went over to make a play, only to have a fan reach out over the railing wearing a glove and the fan knocked the ball away.
First off, what is a grown man doing at a game with a glove? I’ll give Doug Flutie a pass just because a) he’s caught foul balls at the last four games he’s been too (two of which I’ve seen) and he was sitting just behind the Red Sox dugout in prime-screaming-line-drive territory. But the assclown last night in Cincinnati was just wearing his glove because he’s a wuss.
Secondly, Burnitz hurt the cause for fan interference by slamming his left hand into the padding and spending more time shaking his glove than acting like he should have caught the ball. Moises Alou, he’s not.
Thirdly, it was nice of Dusty to relax on the bench. I gave Dusty a pass on Sunday when he couldn’t be troubled to argue the Derrek Lee tag play on Jack Wilson. That one might have even been worse. Because the tag would have happened in front of first base, Dusty could rightly have asked the home plate umpire to consider ruling on the play. But Dusty was too comfy in the dugout. Last night…same thing. You just knew that it was going to kill the Cubs, and it did. Aurilia singled to tie the game. Nice.
We won’t even get into the fact that E-ramis is playing third like he’s wearing goalie equipment, either.
On the plus side, Jerry Hairston and Neifi turned a double play last night that Todd and Nomar could only dream of. As much as I have a manly love for Jason Dubois, it’s pretty obvious that if anybody’s getting screwed by Todd Hollandsworth getting all those starts in left, it’s Hairston. He’s the Cubs only real leadoff man, and he needs to be in the lineup every day, whether at second or in left. Just not center. I saw enough in Pissburgh of him circling like a plane backed up at O’Hare to not want to see that again.
It’s only been 13 games, but already the Cubs have lost at least three games they should have won. That’s not a good ratio. Now, this could just be a slow start, or it could be indicative of the way they’re going to be all year. You get five runs for Carlos Zambrano and you should not lose. You get one strike away from beating the Brewers and you should not lose. You stake Kerry Wood to a 5-1 lead and you should not lose.
This isn’t a bad Cubs’ team. We’ve seen lots of those. But so far, something’s missing. We’ve learned a few things in our three years with Jim Hendry, and most of those are good, but he has yet to assemble anything close to a good bullpen.
The one he’s got now doesn’t have a real closer (although, as much as I hate to admit it, I pretty much agreed with everything Dan Plesac said about why LaTroy “ought” to be a top notch closer, last night) and it has two guys in it that Dusty either forgets he has or is deathly afraid to use. Did the Ice Man suck it up big time last night? Of course he did. But maybe if he’d pitch more than every TEN f@#$ing days, he’d be a little sharper. And what happened to Cliff Bartosh? We finally saw him warming up last night, but since Cincinnati has a camera of Iraqi-hostage-tape-quality in their bullpens, it could have been anybody.
You’re not going to win many games if you trot out the G-Unit, Remlinger, Chad Fox and LaTroy and only them every night. Mike Wuertz has been surprisingly good, but twice this year (both losses) Dusty has used him for TWO pitches. Two! One time he did it when the opposition had this due up in the inning. Righty, Lefty, Righty, Righty, Righty.
He used Wuertz to get the first righty. Then brought in Remlinger (who can’t get lefties out, anyway). Huh?
I’ve given up trying to figure out the fearless leader. I’m sure there are sound baseball reasons for most of his decisions, but it’s always hidden behind a cloud of bulls@#$ so thick you’d think you were driving through Gary.
Michael Barrett ended up winning the Dumbass DuJour last night, in the most hotly contested race we’ve had in the illustrious history of the award. It’s hard to top a guy trying to throw out a runner who is already out. Then again, Barrett knows all about making outs. He’s made 25 of them in a row at the plate. It’s gonna take Hank White almost four more starts to catch him. But Hank just might be able to do that.
Guh.
It’s early, and it’s not time to panic. But if the Cubs want us to stop the slow march to the window ledge, they could…you know…start winning. Or at least playing with their heads outside of their asses.
Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Baker Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah dumbass Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah need a new lighbtulb for this basement light Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Sun too bright, must stay inside Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah I’m a genius Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah everyone listens to what I have to say Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Time to take my pills Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Baker must be fired Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah
I think Hollandsworth should be our 13th pitcher. I agree Hairston is getting screwed by not getting to start everyday. Sunday was complete bullshit that Hollandsworth started against Redmond. Dubois should have started at LF and Hairston at 2B. Dusty is overdrawing on Perez. Tonight’s line-up should be:
2B Hairston
SS Nomar
CF Patterson
3B Ramirez
RF Burnitz
1B Lee
LF Dubois
C Hank the Blank
P Franchise
Claussen hasn’t thrown this year yet….he’s the only guy on a 25 man roster that hasn’t played this year. Well, a case could be made for Macias, Hank the Blank, and Hollandsworth.
The best thing about moving Hollandsworth to the bench is that he’s their best pinch hitter and it cuts down on The Gremlin’s flailing and bailing.
But I’d have…
LF Hairston
2B Neifi
CF Corey
3B E-ramis
1B D. Lee
SS Nomar
RF Jeromy
C Hank
P Prior
Neifi plays until he stops hitting, and Nomar hits sixth until he starts hitting.
See when Kerry has “his†good control, that’s relative. It’s like when Carrottop is using “his†funny material. Or when Maroon 5 are playing “their†good stuff. It’s still off.
I think the quotes are misused here, no? They should be on good, funny, and good, right?
Bozos, “you” are right.
I don’t know what ‘shizzy’ or ‘sacrosant’ means.
It took us roughly 30 seconds of dead air to finally figure out that a run had not been scored on the double play with the bases loaded and Barret overthrowing to 3rd. Wow, we suck.
Or “mean.”
This was Dusty’s quote in Sunday’s Tribune:
“Young Bartosh, we have to get him into a pressure situation sooner or later and see how he does. Right now, we want to walk him through this until he’s at full strength, which is what you do with young players. You want to build him up, not destroy him.”
Anybody need a catcher?
Dotel will be our closer by june 1st
Have I even stolen a base yet? I should get on that.
You’d have to think all the way back to last night to remember stealing a base, son. I saw it myself, through piss-colored glasses.
Honestly, I didn’t have any problem with how we pitched or defended last night. Considering we should have gotten out of the inning where Burnitz was interfered with, we didn’t do that bad.
BUT…
I’d rather watch a lab-generated brain-damaged rat try to write a habeus corpus to overturn the 15th amendment than look at some of the lineups Baker has been trotting out there. Hey, Equal Opportunity Hire? Learn your fucking talent, and line them up accordingly, prison bitch!!
When I catch, we win. Barrett was a one year fluke anyway, I should get more playing time behind the dish. If we are gonna get no offense whatsoever from Michael, we might as well have someone that can call a good one. Barrett is an every other year kind of hitter anyway, look it up.
remember everyone – only Dolan can tell us when to panic.
Yeah, Hank, at least I’m not sleepy. I have competitve fire. I push people and shit! Yeah!
I stole one last night, third base to be exact.
That’s nice, Jerry. I don’t need to steal bases — I just hit ’em outta the park each time!
My lineup would be
2B Hairston
SS Nomar
CF Patterson
3B Ramirez
1B Lee
RF Burnitz
LF Dubois
C Barrett
P
I’d then pull a double switch in the 2nd inning brining in Macias to LF and Blanco to C. That would allow Macias to lead off the 3rd inning (figuring Cubs are the visitors otherwise it’s the top of the 3rd).
If we were you, we’d get tickets for that ledge, it will get crowded soon. We’d come too, but we’ve seen this show already, it’s a repeat.
Wait until you start trotting Jeff Blauser out there everyday, that’s when the real fun begins!
You know what, I can play catcher. So if Barrett blows and Hank’s drowsy, I can fill in tonight, no problem!
Is the message board down?
I will tell you all when to panic! I did last year, remember. It was September 30.
Bastards.
And though I love him as only a man can, this year it has felt like the guy we have at shortstop IS Jeff Blauser.
Seems like it Rooster.
I was afraid BC had banned me.
Mi no tengo palabras.
Tambien, mi no gusto Senor Baker, no, no gusto mucho.
Clauson is a lefty, so ole Dusty should get his match-ups straight. Hairston in LF, Dubois in RF, Perez at 2B.
Desipio Message Board Down; Worker Productivity Hits Record Levels.
I’ve got tech support on it. Usually when the board goes down, so does the site.
I like tonights line up. I think Dusty read the site.
1 Jerry Hairston Jr.,
2 Corey Patterson, CF
3 Nomar Garciaparra, SS
4 Aramis Ramirez, 3B
5 Derrek Lee, 1B
6 Jason Dubois, LF
7 Neifi Perez, 2B
8 Michael Barrett, C
9 Mark Prior, P
Whoops – Hairston in RF.
I like this lineup.
The message board is down? Oh, brother. Did you check the paper? Sometimes the fax machine or toilet breaks and Pat says the paper got jammed. Oh boy.
Dusty started both Dew Boy and Jerry the Lesser, huh??
I agree, I like this lineup, in fact, once you sub in Walker for Perez, I’d like that lineup for the rest of the year. The only change I might make is to put Nomar 2, move Lee up to 3, and hit Patterson 5th. It would get better OBP higher in the order.
My other question is, I thought Hank was to be Prior’s personal catcher?? All Prior did last time with Hank behind the plate was toss a 6-inning shutout. I’m just saying.
Oh Chuck…….wanted to say hi, sugar.
Love, Corey.
Hey Corey-
How do I taste? Nice grab.
I think everybody should calm down a bit and turn that chill level down to low.
All I’m saying boys is exactly what Dolan put on the post today about Dusty’s tactics with that bullpen. There’s just no sense in using a guy for a couple pitches just because of the numbers book. That is a bunch of bullshit. I’m not saying our bullpen is fantastic by any means, but you have to be really smart to use it the right way. That right way is staying with somebody and using them when they are on. If a guy is struggling and if per chance we’re blowing a team out, but Leicester or Bartosch for instance, in the game to get some tosses.
Baker seems to think you just have to use somebody who has recently fuckuped lor who hasn’t pitched in awhile in a pressure or tight situation. No, you stick to using Wuertz and Fox in those close games because they are coming through. They can pitch to one batter per night for 3 straight nights and aren’t worn out like Dumby Dusty says “they are taxed out.”
Now, if I get bitched at for stating these facts, I’m sorry.
It doesn’t sound like there is a lot of Dusty Love out there either. So pardon me for FDF=Fuck Dusty Forever.
Prediction for tonight’s game- Prior goes 5 or 6 innings with no run support and Dumby Dusty using 4-5 relievers and the bullpen gets another lose tallied to their stats.
Baker Basher
I wish your mom could of had me before your birth.
Hey we are on ESPN on some show called “Teamates”.
Two things: It’s one thing to disagree with a guy, and another entirely to wish someone was dead. You probably don’t even know Basher in real life. How do you know he’s so worthless?
Also, it’s “could have”, not “could of”, you illiterate jackass.
Derrek and Ryan were the only Cubs I could see tonight here in Champaign (Damn WCIU).
Well, things could be better, but we are at .500 heading into two games in St. Louis. I feel tomorrow’s game is important, as Carlos needs a good start and if we win tomorrow then we don’t really need to win Thursday. Why? We would still be .500, and we would head home better than how we left Chicago record-wise.
That being said, I’m expecting a tight strike zone for Zambrano and a huge strike zone for Jeff Suppan. It seems to always happen in the Cubs/Cardinals game, so just be prepared for it tomorrow night.
You know you’re an annoying twit when you criticize a guy who everyone else is criticizing, and still be hated and scorned for levying the criticism. Baker Basher, try Prozac. I hear it does miracles.
No message board, whazzup????……………
Attention Andy–You may officially begin using “The Franchise” as a moniker for Mark Prior again. He good. And he makes Krissy look awfully bad in comparison, don’t he?
Someone please help Nomar, my goodness, he’s Alex Gonzalez-esque. Yikes.
Intrepid Reader Jim is actually Mike Murphy in disguise. What’s your beef, Jim? Murph threw an ass-grating temper tantrum tonight when a caller used the word “crap”. Murphy then proceeded to use crap 3-5 times and “ass” a few times also.
Is that me in Barrett’s back pocket? No wonder he doesn’t get the calls.
A tribute to Alou?
I’ve got no problem with his word choice aside from his grammar, I just don’t think it’s fair to wish someone dead because of his opinion on a sports team. Anyway, someone had to step up for the Basher. The rest of you are just piling on after the fact.
Bulls win!!! Bulls win!! They have officially clinched the 4th seed and home-court advantage in playoffs.
Jim, thanks for your tips. Now, go have a nice cup of warm milk.
Mamma! I want my baba! Wah! I made boom boom, in my huggies.
I had better rise from the dead today, or it’s going to be the Longest. Workday. Ever.
I’ve got a special “Comment” section set up in lieu of the Sciavoed message board.
Stop on by now, ya’ hear?
…before the Desipio Messsage Board.
What were they?
Didn’t we used to eat raw meat and hunt with sticks before the Desipio Message Board?
The Desipio messageboard will stay white until I get my first hit this year.
That’s a misonomer, MrSpeed. In fact, there were literally tens of thousands of tribal communities in existence before the Desipio board. These communities successfully survived for more than three million years. Then, the Desipio board came into existence and they collapsed like Matt Clement in the fourth inning.
Is the board down because of my threats to seize the Papacy by force? That Vatican, they are a wiley bunch.
That ees exactly vy eet ees down. I vant you to back off. I know smething about taking by force, as vell.After all, I am former Hitler youth.
Not just you, CT.
Sloth and his porn. Me and my anti-Nazi sympathies. Karry Ling and his penchant to use sacramental wine at tailgaters.
It’s the lot.
That should be the message board tag-line. “Excommunicated by the Catholic Church,” or “riding the fast lane to hell.”
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