Welcome to yet another in our world-famous series of gamecasts. If you’ve forgotten how this works. Allow me to explain.
1) We watch the game and make fun of it.
2) Uh…that’s it.
Our early technical difficulties are behind us, and the lineups are in, so let’s get to snarking.
You can follow the pitch-by-pitch here at Cubs.com.
But let’s check out the lineups:
Cubs
1. 2B Mark Grudzielanek
2. SS Alex Gonzalez
3. RF Sammy Sosa
4. LF Moises Alou
5. 1B Hee Seop Choi
6. 3B Mark Bellhorn
7. CF Corey Patterson
8. C Damian Miller
9. P Kerry Wood
for the F@#$ing Mets
1. CF Roger Cedeno
2. 2B Robbie Alomar
3. LF Cliff Floyd
4. C Mike Piazza
5. 1B Mo Vaughn
6. 3B Ty Wigginton
7. RF Jeromy Burnitz
8. SS Rey Sanchez
9. P Tom Glavine
The first pitch was a strike and we’re underway.
Chip was sickeningly clever in the opening. He referred to last year as unmetigating disaster for New York. UnMETigating. Ahh, he’s a moron.
I’m not making this up. Mark Grudzielanek just WALKED! Ahh, Mr. Glavine, apparently that horrendously wide strike zone got left behind in Atlanta.
Grudz’s OBA is now 1.000, take that Saberweenies.
Now A-Gonz can ground into a double play and we’ll be all set.
I can’t wait for Chip to tell us that Glavine was a hockey player. As though it matters…ever.
By the way, the Cubs have cursed the 2003 season. They’re wearing those stupid blue pajamas to open the season.
How ’bout that? A 1-0 lead! Time for an Alou 6-4-3 DP.
By the way, someone tell the Cubs: They have had two of their biggest meltdowns (1984 in San Diego and 1989 in San Fran) wearing ugly royal blue unis.
Alex Gonzalez doubled Grudz to third. Sammy’s up and ready to hit number 500, and I think we’d all like that start.
However, Glavine’s a wuss, he’ll probably walk Sammy instead.
White is a slimming color, right? Somebody ought to remind Mo Vaughn and Jeromy Burnitz of that. They both look like snowmen.
OK, maybe Glavine brought the strike zone. Sammy just took a ball that nearly ended up in the Met dugout for a strike.
Sammy hit a rope to right that Jeromy Burnitz played like Pele, and yet only one run scored. At least the Cubs baserunning is in midseason form.
Stone just said Glavine "has no rythm." Well, he’s white, after all.
Alou just doubled, and Floyd played it like Alexi Lalas (I’m going to run out of soccer players.)
Alou’s on third, Sammy and Gonzalez have scored and it’s 3-0. Who knew?
Chip is obsessing over the fact that the Mets haven’t put an error on the board for Cliff Floyd. Trust me, it’ll show up. Just shut up.
Hee Seop’s up trying to make the first out of the season.
How badly did I botch the word rhythm in the last post? Wow.
Tom doesn’t have it and I can’t spell it.
Big Choi makes like a good rookie and whiffs, and Mark Bellhorn is ready to begin his Rick Wilkins ’94 impersonation. If you’re not a Cubs history major, trust me, that would be a bad thing.
How bad is it that TJ beat me to the post for the first run of the season? Yikes.
Glavine fell behind 3-0 to Bellhorn and then walked him.
Honesty compels me to say, Tom Glavine sucks.
Corey’s up and the Mets have a meeting on the mound.
Piazza: "Just throw it in the dirt, he swings at everything."
Glavine: "I don’t think I can hit the dirt."
Patterson singles to right scoring Alou and Bellhorn to second.
Damian Miller is up and as Stoney told us in the pregame, Damian owns Glavine.
But I smell double play.
Chip says Miller is 6-16 against Glavine. That’s a fair bit of ownership.
6-4-3. I’m a prophet.
Damn me.
But after one it’s Cubs 4, F@#$ing Mets coming to bat.
It’s Opening Day, which means it should start snowing any minute now.
Get it? What an opening line! Dolan, you can’t touch me. I’m a funny man. I will keep ’em laughing.
You know, you can tell a lot about a season by the first batter.
Kerry seems intent on walking the unwalkable Roger Cedeno.
Stone just called Cedeno a "flea." Kerry’s pitching like his strike zone is that big.
Kerry walked him. Some things never change.
Nice job on a grounder to Bellhorn. He made no attempt to get Cedeno at second. What, did he forget?
The first strikeout of the season for the Cubs is Clifford Floyd. Wood got him on a particularly nasty curve ball.
That brings up Mike Piazza. How fitting is it that Piazza plays in Queens? Anybody? I’ve got a million of them.
Kerry hung a curveball that Piazza fouled off and Stone said, "that’s the old breaky that hung a touch." Breaky? Stone’s been listening to Terry Boers.
Piazza hit a rocket shot (Chip’s term, of course) that Patterson ran down to end the inning. I’m going out on a limb here, if Lenny Harris were playing center it’d be 4-1 right now. I know, waaaaay out on a limb.
After one it’s still Cubs 4, Mets bupkus.
The ESPN gamecast sucks. It just cannot compete with the speed of the Desipio Sports empire. Just finding out now that Piazza lined out to center, and now they have pictures up of Tom Glavine (In his Atlanta hat) pitching to Mark Grudsliaksldjkasdnick (in his Dodger hat.) Nice to know that they were able to update those pics over the course of the winter. If they keep this up I may actually have to get some work done today!
Glad to see Adam Calderelli stop by. Don’t forget the standby, "It’s so cold the Cubs jerseys have turned blue."
Chris Berman and Rick Sutcliffe are doing the game on ESPN, but unfortunately (snicker snicker) it’s blacked out here.
I find it inspiring that Chris Berman can trot that same old, tired, horrible, embarassing act every year and not be embarassed by it. It’s a testament to his complete egomaniacness.
Wood throws the bat at the ball and grounds to second.
That brings Gruddy up (we need a nickname for him why not Gruddy?) and he is leading the league in OBA at 1.000. Hah! Who says the Cubs have a bad offense. They’re on pace to score 36 runs today.
By my pitch count, in the second inning Tom Glavine has thrown 1232 pitches. It’s unofficial, of course.
I swear, Glavine is throwing 45 miles an hour. Maybe–maybe–50 miles per hour. There is an actual fight at the Cubs’ bat rack to get to him.
Did you see that Don Wakamatsu is a coach for the Rangers? I think they should bring in Johnny Wockenfuss, too.
Gruddy singles to right and the Mets outfield has to cleanly field a hit. Burnitz made like … uh… Mia Hamm though he kept the ball in front of him. Gruddy’s OBA is still 1.000!
Stone is breaking down how the third baseman knows where to play from pitch to pitch. It’s been one and a half innings and we’ve already gotten more baseball analysis from Steve than we got in the last two years combined.
A-Gonz walks and Sammy’s up with two on…again. You know what that means?
Bad news for the Mets.
Mound visit.
Mets pitching coach Vern Ruhle: "What’s the problem?"
Glavine: "Where’s Leo Mazzone?"
Sammy can taste 500.
Sammy takes a pitch that lands in the Mets dugout (again) and is called a strike.
He then hits a routine double play grounder to Sanchez but beats the play at first.
First and third for Alou.
Moysay hits one to the Mets outfield that is actually caught!
After one and a half, Cubs 4, Mets zip.
Hey, Andy, why can’t I get a soccer mention?
Americans don’t let other Americans watch soccer. Remember that and be sure to pass the information along.
However, posting of Heather Mitts photos does fall outside of the non-soccer ban, so go right ahead…
Mo Vaughn is "down" to 260? Judgine by the fact that his neck looks like a tick about to pop, I’d say he’s "down" to 360.
He also just roped a single to right.
Kerry just nailed the ump in the face with a fastball. Wigginton jogged to first, but I don’t think that ball hit anybody but the ump. Nice catch by Damian Miller.
The replay showed it hit Wigginton on his stupid little arm pad and nailed the ump. Out in right field Sammy is yelling, "That’s what you get for calling those strikes one me!"
OK, not really.
The home plate umpire is John Hirschbeck and Robbie Alomar just offered to come out and spit on his injury for him.
First and second, nobody out. Jer-o-me Burnitz is up.
Stone says any kind of breaking ball will be the "inaugural strikeout of the season for Jeromy Burnitz." Instead it’s the inaugural double. Vaughn scores, but not Wigginton. 4-1 Cubs.
Rey Sanchez grounds to second and Wigginton scores, Burnitz to third.
Chip is in full panic mode. 4-2 Cubs.
Stone predicts a sucide for Glavine. I’m not sure if he means a bunt or just suicide judging by his performance so far.
Kerry’s back in "I can’t throw a strike mode". We never get tired of this, do we?
Glavine has no chance to hit one of Kerry’s fast balls. He’s flailed at two. Just finish him off.
Kerry obliges.
Two out.
Roger Cedeno taps out to Kerry. So the Mets get two back. Boo!
Cubs 4, Mets 2. End of the second.
Don’t ever say I didn’t give you anything.
Not bad, eh?
Wow. They just showed the Steve Stone 1975 Topps Card, complete with mullet and cheesy mustache. You can get your very own if you go to the April 12 home game. Ouch.
Big Choi just banged one off the Chevy sign in left center for a double. He nailed that thing. Very nice.
Bellhorn keeps Big Choi at second with a groundout to superstar Ty Wigginton.
Patterson’s up and Chip is chuckling about Corey’s 1.000 batting average.
Guess what, Chippy. It’s still 1.000.
Corey singles in Big Choi and Roger Cedeno’s throw to home was hi-larry-ous. It almost made it to the pitcher’s mound.
Almost.
5-2 Cubs. Tom Glavine has an enormous fork sticking out of his back.
Corey’s perfect day continues! He just got picked off. Oh, wait… That’s not perfect.
Two out. Boo!
Again, Cubs baserunning is in midseason form.
Damian Miller’s ownership of Glavine has been recalled by the bank. Strike three.
End of two and a half. Cubs 5, Mets 1.
Hey! We lost a run?
Did you take away that run because I’m the King of Queens?
Two questions worth pondering….how much does Art Howe miss Oakland’s pitching staff and how much does Tom Glavine miss an Andruw Jones led defense. Ahh…karma.
Anyone else think Floyd is Rondell White’s left handed doppelganger. Both have paper mache hamsrings and throw like an 8 year old using her opposite hand.
It’s 5-2. They didn’t take a run away from the Mets. Though, I’m sure they should have.
Kerry just walked the leadoff man, again. Blecch.
Alomar on first with Cliffy Floyd up.
Cliffy flies to Moises Alou and Moises has just called for a stretcher to take him off the field.
Not really. But it wouldn’t surprise you, would it?
Piazza just field out to Patterson at the Verizon sign…again. He swung at a pitch literally at eye level. Yikes. Two out. Alomar tags and goes to second.
Hey, the Mets have two guys batting at the same time! They can’t do that! Oh, wait…it’s Mo Vaughn. Never mind.
Mo Vaughn just fouled a ball off his foot…and gravy came out. Eeewww.
If this at bat lasts any longer I’ll start stealing jokes from beer commercials.
There’s only two ugly people in the world, and Mo Vaughn is both of ’em.
Too late.
Kerry freezes Mo with a slider and through three it’s Cubs 5 and the Mets…2.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Bobby Hill.
Bobby Hill who?
Exactly. How you like me now Cubbie fans?
Piazza "flied" to Patterson. I’m getting tired of correcting my typos.
OK, we move to the top of the fourth and Kerry is leading off.
As for the Rondell White, Cliff Floyd resemblance–they both play left field like a first baseman.
Kerry grounds to Alomar, one out.
Stone is talking about the Astros cutting Shane Reynolds and that the Mets might sign him. I think the Cardinals already have a jersey made up for him.
Too bad he can’t pitch anymore.
Gruddy is 2-2 and the OBA is still 1.000. He just singled to right.
I can sense a Chip "Killer G’s" comment coming any moment. I’m already cringing, in fact.
Gonzalez flies out to Floyd. Two outs.
Sammy is up and I’m not even going to mention his 500th homer this time.
Chip is babbling about how great it will be to get back to Chicago. Doesn’t he know that we all hate him here?
I can’t say how much I’m enjoying watching the Cubs bend Tommy Glavine over and violating him. Couldn’t happen to a bigger jackass.
Sosa walks. That’s four for Glavine. Need I remind you that his strikeout to walk ratio in the second half last years slipped to 57 K’s to 42 walks? It’s over Tom. Muahahahahahahahahaha!
Glavine just got pulled from the game by Art Howe. And he’s getting booed. Nice debut, chump.
Chip never said who the new pitcher is going to be. But he’s wearing 28 and his ears are enormous. How’s that for analysis?
Mo K’d on a nasty 12-6 curveball, not a slider. C’mon Chip.
Other scores. Top of the seventh, Minnesota 2, Detroit 0.
Top sixth: Montreal 4, Atlanta 1.
The new Mets pitcher is Scott Strickland.
Stone is back on his "never make a trade with the Braves rant." It’s so true. If the Braves are trading or not re-signing a guy, run away from him. Pronto.
Strickland’s ears are positively Kirk Rueter-esque. Even Jim Bullinger could mock those things.
Fox is at midseason form. The "Fox box" is broken, and when it was up earlier it didn’t show the count. Nice.
Way to bid for opening day guys.
Strickland throws two three ball balls to Alou and John Hirschbeck finally lets Moises go to first on the second one. They’re loaded for Big Choi!
Big Choi flies out on the first pitch on a routine fly ball that Roger Cedeno had to dive to catch. Never a dull moment with Roger in center.
Bottom fourth: Cubs 5, Mets 2
Jeff Brantley is doing the color on ESPN2’s Expos-Braves broadcast. That is one impressive curly mullet. Yee haw.
Back in Queens, Kerry has allowed two runs on two hits. And he’s had a million baserunners. Typical Kerry.
Kerry just missed Wigginton again. He doesn’t like Ty.
It’s fun to watch the Mets try and hit Kerry’s high fastball. Pathetic.
Wiggy grounds to Gonzalez for the first out. Stone called the slider a "breaky" again. Sounds like the start of a brand new Cubs drinking game, to me.
Stone just brought up the Tom Trebelhorn era. Please make it stop.
Burnitz grounds to Gruddy. Two out.
Old pal Rey Sanchez is up. Speaking of Trebelhorn, when he was a coach under Jim Lefebvre, Trebelhorn urged the Cubs to trade Rey because he didn’t play hard enough. Oh. As opposed to the fiery Jose Nieves?
Rey grounds to Alex. That’s more like it Kerry. Still 5-2 Cubs.
Would it kill Mark Bellhorn to use two batting helmets? Since he switch hits he wears the one with the two ear flaps. But it’s just bad. It’s the Delino DeSheilds t-ball look. Make it stop.
Greg Maddux has given up five earned in Atlanta and Glavine five in New York. Hey, can’t wait for the Kevin Millwood debut!
Bellhorn walks to lead off the fifth. That’s six walks. I think we should bronze hitting coach Gary Matthews!
Corey is 2-2 with two RBI so far.
Too good to be true, Corey whiffs for the first of many times in 2003.
Steve just said "he’s a great baserunner". I think we all saw that in the third when he got picked off.
Miller missed the sign on a hit and run and Bellhorn stole second. That Mike Piazza, he’s a whiz.
With that stolen base the Cubs have more already (one) than they had all last year!
Dusty’s not wearing that stupid Panama Jack hat today. Thank heavens.
Miller grounds to Alomar who threw it at Mo’s feet. Bellhorn to third.
Chip says Alomar "shorthanded" it. Well, he "shortarmed" it. Is that close?
Kerry Wood singles to Alomar and the Cubs lead 6-2. Robby dove and stopped the ball but couldn’t throw out the speedy Wood. (snicker snicker)
Walk. Stolen base. Ground out. Infield hit. Run.
Are these the Cubs?
Alomar just botched another one. Infield hit for Gruddy who is now 3-3 and has reached all four times. Alomar dove, had an easy toss to second but got it stuck in his glove had to go to first, made a bad throw and Gruddy beat it.
First and second, two outs for Gonzalez.
How tall is Scott Strickland? Four foot one?
Gruddy may be hurt. The trainer tried to come out on the field, but Gruddy waived him off. Chip thinks it might be a cramp. Chip is of course a medical expert.
Gonzalez pops to Mo to end the top of the fifth. Cubs 6, Mets 2.
Bad segue alert!
After a shot of the Statue of Liberty, Fox showed new second baseman Ramon Martinez and said, "The Cubs have liberated Mark Grudzielanek from the lineup." He still thinks Gruddy has a cramp. He’s got a bad ankle is what he’s got.
Joe McEwing is pinch hitting for Scott Strickland. Joe McEwing is a guy Chip said, "Every team needs." Yeah, everybody needs a utlity guy who can’t hit.
Wood, on cue, strikes out McEwing. He buckled on the curve so much his knee actually hit the ground. Amateur.
Steve says third base coach Matt Galante can’t believe the difference in center field between Roger Cedeno in Houston and now. Yeah, he’s a regular Willie Mays. Heck, he’s not even Willie Mays Hayes.
Woody’s warming up. He went 3-0 on Cedeno then struck him out.
Alomar walks on four straight. Reid Rothschild is coming out to talk to Kerry.
Reid: "We’ll go down to the sugar tree and they’re be lots of bees. Bees. Bees."
Kerry: "What?"
Nothing like an obscure "Boogie Nights" joke.
Two out. Cliffy’s up.
Cliffy fouls out to Miller. After five, Cubs 6, Mets blow.
Mike Bacsik is in the new Mets Hurler and Sammy’s up. No mention of 500 homers this time. I promise.
Trey Wingo sent the ESPN2 viewers to New York to see if Sammy could hit it and he called him (very Ted Kennedy-ily) Sammy Sooser. Nice.
Bacsik plays it smart and walks Sammy.
Chip just called Steve Rosenbloom "ridiculous". Seems he didn’t take kindly to Steve saying 500 homers isn’t a big deal.
Alou rakes a single into left and Big Choi is up with two on, again.
I smell a homer, here.
Big Choi gets up 2-0.
Why exactly did the Mets bring in a lefty to face Sosa and Alou?
Bacsik smelled a homer, too. He walked Big Choi and they’re loaded with nobody out for Bellhorn, Patterson and Miller.
Bellhorn flies to shallow left and Cliff Floyd’s weenie arm allows Sammy to score, easily. Sac fly, RBI Bellhorn. Cubs 7, Mets 2. Break up the Cubs!
Corey just jacked a three run homer and when you see the replay tonight, check out the way Jeromy Burnitz went back on that one. Woof. He circled it like a dog trying to find a place to sit down.
Three hits for Corey. Five RBI. Not a bad start.
Cubs 10, Mets really blow.
Stone just predicted that if they get ten runs a game, they’ll do pretty well.
Miller grounds to Sanchez. Mo Vaughn throws the around the horn ball into left field.
Kerry’s day is done and the rotting corpse of Troy O’Leary steps in.
Can the Cubs bullpen hold an eight run lead?
O’Leary whiffs to end the top of the sixth. Cubs 10, Mets 2. Hee hee.
I think I’ve wrapped up NL Player of the Month for March.
Corey takes time out of the game to come into the clubhouse to make a post and people say I have a bad work ethic. Forget it, I’m going back to sleep…
What is this, deja vu! One pitch into a new year and their already bootiing the ball around behind me. Jeez.
Juan Cruz is the first reliever of the year. Man is he balding. How old is he? 43?
Put the hat back on!
Bellhorn botches a grounder and Piazza leads off the sixth by reaching on an error. The replay looked like Bellhorn got him despite the bobble, but Piazza was called safe.
The hometown scorer gave Piazza a hit. What a freakin’ joke.
Cruz befuddles Mo and catches him looking at strike three. Nasty stuff there.
One out.
Cruz then pantses Wigginton with a high fastball. Two out. Piazza’s getting lonely at first.
Chip waxes on about Cruz pitching with finesse as he blows fastballs by Jeromy Burnitz. True genius, this young Caray.
Burnitz has a little Hundley in him as he yells at the ump on strike three and then the Cubs as they trot off the field. Whatever Jer… Cubs 10, Mets 2. We’re off to the seventh.
Too bad i’m on the DL. I could make this a close one.
any mention of Kerry’s pitch count?
Mets forfeit
Just in case I didn’t have NL Player of the Month for March…that is an award right? Right?
I agree with you, Corey. You own March. And all nine hours left in it. Juan Cruz is making a bid for pitcher of the month, too.
Ahh the Cub debut of Ramon Martinez. I think we’ve all been waiting for this.
Ramon takes strike three. Welcome to the Cubs!
The Mets fans are chanting USA! USA! USA! At least they can say they back one winner.
Gonzalez grounds to Alomar. Two out and Sammy’s up.
Nothing will be said about his quest for 500.
Bacsik walks Sosa…again. That’s Sammy’s third walk of the day.
Here’s Moises who is 1-2 with two walks and two RBI.
Bacsik walks Moises and here’s Hee Seop. This is the fourth time Hee Seop’s come to bat with at least two men on base. He can get used to this.
Tom Goodwin on to pinch run for Moises. Moises is complaining that Goodwin didn’t drive out in the bullpen car so Alou could thumb a ride back to the dugout.
Stoney has some pretty heavy man love for Big Choi. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.
Chip is babbling about how nobody’s picking Choi to be the NL Rookie of the Year. I’d say most of the predictions are for just that.
Choi walks. I have much man love for him, too. Watch the way he takes pitches. He looks them all the way to the glove. Impressive.
Bellhorn bats with the bags full of baby bears.
I can’t describe what just happened. Bellhorn flew to left center. Cedeno charged the flyball and it landed 50 feet behind him. Floyd ended up closer to the ball than Cedeno did. It’s a bases clearing triple for Bellhorn.
Cubs 13, Mets 2
Patterson just (not making this up) homered to left center. Four hits. Seven RBI. Stone told him to keep trotting right to Cooperstown.
The fifteen runs tie the Cub record for opening day runs. The 1899 Cubs did it. We all remember those guys.
Damian Miller is the only Cub starter without a hit. That continues as Burnitz staggers but catches the final out in the seventh.
Cubs 15! Mets 2.
Get your playoff tickets now at 1-800-METS-SUCK!
Hey Dolan — what happened to the Desipio Draft Saturday morning?
Corey Smorey – I’d kick hiss ass if he were here right now!!!! And if I couldn’t do it, I bet Dwight would. He always had my back!
Did I just say Dwight’s wood? I hope not…..
In KC, the Royals lead the White Sox 2-0. I’d like to see that vaunted Sox lineup score 15 today. Chumps.
Home plate ump John Hirschbeck just got nailed in the facemask by a foul ball. Always a good time. At least this one didn’t drop him to the ground like Kerry’s fastball did.
Sanchez goes down on strikes and Juan Cruz has struck out four in a row.
Timo Perez is pinch hitting for Mike Bacsik, and I think we’ll all miss Mike.
Timo K’s that’s five in a row.
For Nolan, because he asked, Kerry threw 80 pitches in five innings, 50 for strikes.
If you’re wondering, Bacsik’s ERA is only 40.50.
Glavine’s is 12.27, heck, Scott Strickland leads the team with a tidy 6.75 ERA.
For the Cubs, Corey is hitting .800 with two homers and seven driven in.
Sit down Roger Cedeno. Juan Cruz has struck out six in a row. If he pitches the eighth and ninth, he’ll get a save in a 15-2 win. Not bad.
I had a better opening day once. Remember how that worked out for me!
Oh my God did Chris Berman really call Choi "Hee Sop Choi to the world"? Now my ears ARE bleeding. When is he going to stop!
Hey Tuffy – I’ll hit one more homer today to tie your cubs record, and someday I’ll break your Japan home run record too.
Our Desipio baseball draft was thrown a wrench when one of the owners bailed out an hour before draft time. We didn’t have ten guys and ESPN won’t let you draft. We’re full again and will draft Wednesday night.
Eric Karros is in to hit for Juan Cruz. No save for Juan.
Graham Lloyd is the lanky, scary looking pitcher for the Mets. Can you be lanky AND fat? Graham is both.
He’s like Paul Assenmacher only four inches taller.
Karros grounds to Shanchez, who is wearing his sunglasses on his hat. And upside down, no less.
Lenny Harris is in Sosa’s spot, so Sammy won’t hit number 500 today. What are the odds the Cubs would score 15 and Sammy doesn’t homer?
Ramon Martinez is up for the second time today. And he walks. That’s twelve walks for the Cubs today. Twelve! I guarantee that’s more than we had last March.
Gonzalez singles off the chest of Ty Wigginton. The Mets are a complete mess. Remember how bad the Cubs were last year? That’s the Mets this year.
Fifteen hits for the Cubs. Twelve walks. That’s a lot of both.
Lenny Harris makes his Cubs debut.
Lenny hits a looper to right field and Jeromy Burnitz almost fell down chasing it. The Cubs have them loaded…again…and Tom Goodwin digs in.
Goodwin grounds into a double play and the top of the eighth is over with the Cubs clinging to a 13 run lead.
Cubs 15, Mets 2
Goodwin’s last name is exactly what this is for the Cubs: a Good Win."
And Ernie Banks’ last name is exactly where Tom Glavine is crying to.
Mark Guthrie is in. I was going to make an Alice’s Restaurant joke here but that’s too Berman.
Choi to the world? I’m going to flog myself now.
Alomar grounds to Bellhorn and the only Mets fans left at the park are the truly psychotic ones. Son of Sam was a Mets fan, right?
Floyd grounds to Ramon Martinez for the second out.
Piazza whiffs and the end is near. Happily, for once.
Hey, I can run!
When I managed them, the Cubs couldn’t score on North Avenue and Western with a fist full of 100-dollar bills. I leave and toothpick man can have them score runs at will.
It could be worse, I guess. At least I’m not the White Sox’ third-base coach.
Hey, at least you’re not getting shut out by the F@#$!ing Brewers!
Thank you Pat and Ron.
David Weathers, the weird oompa loompa looking former Cub is in.
Big Choi whiffs to start the ninth.
Judging by the center field camera there are maybe 30 fans left at the park.
Corey may have set a Cubs record with his seven opening day RBI. It’s the most since 1920.
Bellhorn grounds to first, but David Weathers misses the bag on the toss. E1, Bellhorn’s on and it’s Corey time!
If you’re wondering (and why wouldn’t you be?) Tuffy Rhodes drove in three runs on his big day.
What would be more unbelievable? Three homers in a game for Corey or three walks?
He flies to center and Roger Cedeno finally catches one. Two away.
Miller continues to miss the party. He grounds out to end the ninth.
After eight and a half, it’s Cubs 15, Mets 2.
See you stupid monkey – Rally This!
Heh, heh, I bet even I couldn’t go 0-for-6!
You don’t like Choi to the world?
How about the Choi-ce of a new generation? Or…
Choi’s-R-Us, Choi Story, or..
Choi, the bat boy from Hanoi.
Regular Joe Borowski is in to finish up and Jay Bell is up. Yes, "that" Jay Bell. Woof.
He grounds out to Regular Joe.
Two more and we can officially refer to them as the "first place" Chicago Cubs.
Wigginton grounds to Martinez and Chip has a new one to add to "rocket shot" it’s "little ground ball," I’m already tired of it and it’s only been three and a half hours.
The Mets fans have started a mock "MVP! MVP!" chant for Jeromy Burnitz. He responds with his second double. Jeromy thinks he’s actually accomplished something.
Lenny Harris went after that ball like a pit bull after a head of lettuce.
Huh?
Here’s Rey Sanchez to pop up and end the game.
Stone just said, "You’re going to win 60 and lose 60, it’s what you do in those other 42 that make the difference." Tell that to the Brewers who lost 106 games last year. They went 0-42 and then some.
Full count on Sanchez.
Sanchez flies to Patterson.
Cubs win! Cubs win!
The first-place Cubs are 1-0 and just like the Bruce Kimm era, the Dusty Baker era starts with a win…oh…that’s great?
NL Player of the month: Corey Patterson
NL Pitcher of the month: The Cruz
Gamecast of the month: Desipio Media Ventures
Announcer of the month: (Drumroll)……everyone except Chip Carey.
To everyone that didn’t win, better luck tomorrow.
Andy, I started with a win, too. Against the Mets, no less.
Our Desipio Cubs player of the game is Tom Glavine.
Now it’s time for Gail Fisher and Dave Otto and the postgame show. I don’t want to be mean (like that ever stopped me) but does Gail put her makeup on with a paint roller?
I mean, thank God she’s no Megan Mawicke, but still…
And my vote for Chris Berman Big Choi nickname is Choi the Bat Boy from Hanoi.
Yikes.
I want to point out the Cubs are now 3-0 when we gamecast.
The Bears…not so much.
You’re just going to have to gamecast every game till they lose, aren’t you?
Andy, cut me some slack. I want to make the Desipio Babes Club. What does Campbell Brown have that I don’t.
Unclogged pores.
How about Barley and Hops see Choi?
Who’s this Gail Fisher person? We can’t let her in the club. No way.
Beware of the mongrel Choi, the most dangerous of all goldfish.
Nah? NAH.
Time heals what reason cannot. by texas hold’em
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