In true Real World ? Paris fashion, Karry Ling was this week?s “point person” and promised me that he?d post my NFL Week 1 Preview prior to the Sunday morning deadline. When I arrived at Desipio World Headquarters this morning I found Karry passed out in front of his lap top, with his pants around his ankles and this picture saved to his desktop.

This of course means yet another week that I won?t be receiving my bonus and that we?re finally going to have to invest in a good mop. Rather than disturb him, I?ve decided to go ahead and post my article and hope that it is still of some value to you, albeit somewhat belated.

Our resident fantasy guru, Andy, has bitten all of his fingernails off while suffering through Saturday?s Notre Dame overtime thriller, and it is still much too painful for him to attempt to type. With his fingers heavily bandaged he is only able to hit the ?A?, ?F?, ?L?, ?M?, ?T? and ?U? keys, and unless you?re in need of news related to “FUAMATU-MA’AFALA” you?ll have to live with me as your pinch hitter.

By now, you?ve no doubt spent hours (at work, of course) researching and assembling a fantasy football team worthy of significant income supplementation for this season. That?s the easy part. With so much parity in the NFL, freak of nature injuries and a fair amount of luck, the hard part is determining favorable matchups for your players and deciding who to sit and who to start each and every week. These gut-wrenching decisions are what will distinguish your league?s champs from the cellar dwellars. That?s where I come in. Armed with an incomparable feel for the game and a crude game-modeling system, each week I?ll do my level best to ensure you?re getting as many points as possible from your team. Let?s get started?

Quarterback – Like many of you, when I think Lions-Cardinals, I think fast break football. This will be a high scoring affair, and there?s no reason not to think that Joey Harrington is prepared to scoff in the face of a sophomore slump and find the end zone early and often. If Joey?s available in your league, grab him, name him your Opening Day starter and prepare to have the last laugh at your league mate?s expense. On the other hand, if you?re stuck with former MVP?s like Brett Favre or Kurt Warner, you may want to keep them on your bench this week as they?re likely to come out of the huddle trying to do a little too much in Week One while attempting to distance themselves and their teams from lackluster 2002 seasons.

Wide Receiver – While former Florida State Seminoles don?t always translate to immediate success in the League (see: Minnis, Marvin; Warrick, Peter), the sky is the limit for Anquan Boldin. The former two-way star should quickly become Jeff Blake?s favorite target and average around 20 yards per catch. Unfortunately if you left your draft stuck with Marvin Harrison or Donald Driver you may want to investigate your free agent alternatives.

Running Back – Even though Parcells has named Troy Hambrick his starter, there?s something about third down back Aveion Case that I can?t quite put a finger on. He?s definitely worth a flyer, at least against the Falcons. My apologies if you ended up with a high first round draft pick and spent it on LaDainian Tomlinson or Marshall Faulk, two guys who I expect to be slow out of the gate.

Special Teams ? Hopefully you were wise and used your last two picks on your team defense and kicker. But, you might keep your eye on Titans? punter Craig Hentrich. Sure he?s a punter, but for some reason I have a feeling he?s worth at least 9 points to you on your active roster.

Game of the Week ? The Dolphins are at home have a nice defense and a stud running game, and the Texans gave up just under five sacks a game last year. Obviously I like the Texans to pull off the upset.

Good luck and let?s get ready for some football!