There’s a lock-in at the local sports bar, and everybody is going crazy with baseball fever. But at the back of the room, there’s a short, skinny guy trying to attract the attention of the bar staff to change one of the channels. Nobody seems to notice that the NBA is about to start.

For the record, here’s the Offseason Grades of an eventful summer in the Pacific Division.

LA Lakers

Offseason Mark = A
It’s impossible, but let’s ignore Kobe’s situation for a moment. Under any other circumstances, this team would be a certain pick for the NBA Championship, except by those columnists who let their fear convince them otherwise. How anyone can refuse to consider the additions of Karl Malone, Gary Payton and Bryon Russell a quantum upgrade over Samaki Walker, Brian Shaw and Mark Madsen – this from a core that won 50 games last season and only got bumped out by the eventual Champions – is unconscionable.

Question Mark = Chemistry
In his 13 years as an NBA head coach, Phil Jackson has never had a problem with team chemistry. He’s as good as his myth when it comes to co-ordinating the emotional odometer of his teams, but despite this the whispers still linger. Will the Lakers be able to successfully co-ordinate 2 more superstars into their system, whether or not Kobe plays a major part in their season?

Exclamation Mark = Swagger
Last season, the Lakers were tired. Their roster was a shell of their former edifice, Kobe was playing hurt, and Shaq was out of shape. But still they fended off the ferocious TWolves in a series they had no right to win except in the realm of the mind. Beware a refurbished Lakers. Kobe, at minimum, will be a distraction, but it won’t change the self-belief in this team.

2003/04 Mark = 58 wins ? 4

Sacramento Kings

Offseason Mark = B
When you’ve been one of the best teams in the league for the past 2 years, any moves you make will be merely tinkering at the edges. Swapping Pollard and Clark for Brad Miller, and Turkoglu and Jackson for Anthony Peeler, is about all Geoff Petrie could be expected to do. But the most important offseason decision was made by US District Court Judge Nancy Edmonds, deferring sentence on Chris Webber’s perjury trial, allowing him to play on unhindered. As deep and talented as Sacto are, they still only go as far as a fit Webber takes them.

Question Mark = Defense
You don’t have the game’s best defensive FG% – over the regular season – if you can’t play D, but Sacramento are such an efficient offensive squad that whatever defensive expertise they have pales in comparison. In the heart of darkness that is the final rounds of the NBA playoffs, where the Kings inhabit each June, you play halfcourt ball. You need to get stops.

Exclamation Mark = Quality
The Kings have only 12 players on their roster, but they’re deeper than most teams with 14 or 15. They do that not by stockpiling talent, but utilising it. Bobby Jackson may start on the bench, but he doesn’t rot on it, and Rick Adelman keeps everyone happy with touches and shots. But due to the re-tooling in LA, Sacto may not necessarily be the team to beat in California this year.

2003/04 Mark = 55 wins ? 2

Portland Trailblazers

Offseason Mark = D
New players? No. New Coaches? No. Various legal infractions? Yes. Since John Nash took over as GM 3 months ago with a mandate for reform, he has made absolutely no personnel decisions. Except for the ones he hasn’t made, namely trading away Portland’s impressive collection of talent for the meagre returns on offer. It’s unlikely the Blazers will extend far into the season without making at least 1 move though, as apart from anything else, they’ll find the experience lost by not retaining Pippen and Sabonis hard to replace.

Question Mark = Identity
Which Portland team will their fans see this season – the strong, versatile squad they would love to support, or the troubled outfit they came to resent by the end of last season? Every year in their recent history, the Blazers win games despite their off-court travails, but on many occasions these adversities do seem to bring them closer together. Wait and see.

Exclamation Mark = Power
Portland have scoring punch, and quality depth, at every position. Plus, over the past 2 drafts, they have been re-making their team from a lumbering veteran outfit into a sleek modern-day machine. With so many options, Coach Cheeks will have a fun year at the helm, but he has to get the balance right if Portland are again going to scare their more fancied Division rivals.

2003/04 Mark = 47 wins ? 4

Phoenix Suns

Offseason Mark = C
The Suns went from 36 wins and the lottery to 44 wins and a gutsy playoff defeat in one short year. Now to take the next step. A couple of overseas reaches on draft day don’t look to be enough, and as reward for all his bruises going up against David and Duncan in the postseason – not to mention his game winning bank shot – Jake Tsakalidis found himself shipped to Memphis for a pocketful of loose change. Marbury and teen sensation Amare Stoudamire can carry this team for long stretches, but not for ever.

Question Mark = Health
Will Tom Gugliotta and Penny Hardaway ever again play 82 games? Combined, let alone individually? Phoenix have around $25 million invested in these 2 players this upcoming season, and need to get some sort of a return on the court. Teaching the youngsters is one thing, but physically producing the requisite points, rebounds and assists is quite another.

Exclamation Mark = Matrix
There’s so few nicknames in the league these days, but despite actually having one, Shawn Marion’s profile still doesn’t match his performance. Not many players lead their team in steals and blocks, rebounds and 3-point percentage. But Marion does. He’s versatile, he’s athletic, he’s unselfish, he’s assertive, he’s durable. And he’s only 25.

2003/04 Mark = 41 wins ? 3

Seattle Sonics

Offseason Mark = D+
Seattle are an odd team, seemingly always stuck between competitive and beatable, youthful and veteran, playoff and lottery. Last season was a case in point; 40 wins, 7th best team D, but a disappointing 5th last in the Conference. So, what did they do over the summer to change the course of their franchise? Sniped Antonio Daniels from the Blazers, dumped Joe Forte, and added Jack Sikma to work with their quartet of under-achieving centers. It’s no surprise to learn they’re over the salary cap, but even so, they should have done better.

Question Mark = Point Guard
They started last season with Gary Payton and Kenny Anderson, but just 12 months later have rookies Luke Ridnour and Paccelis Morlende at the one. Not even Kevin Ollie is around anymore, leaving this team with a weakness in a role which also makes every other position more productive. Daniels will start with the ball each night, and Brent Barry will have to share it.

Exclamation Mark = Development
Nate MacMillan has done a tremendous job the past couple of years in creating legit players out of little known and 2nd round picks. The Sonics are a well run ballclub which supports everyone and doesn’t tolerate disloyalty. In order to get to the playoffs, they will need to continue creating this synergistic talent growth and assist team cornerstones Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis.

2003/04 Mark = 37 wins ? 3

Golden State Warriors

Offseason Mark = C
No team in the league overhauled their roster like the Warriors did this summer – some of it was even by choice. Once they accepted the reality that the Gilbert Arenas Era was over almost as quickly as it began, major changes followed. Gone are 4 of their top 7 scorers, 3 of their top 7 rebounders, and 4 of their top 5 assist men from 2002/03. In comes veterans Nick Van Exel and Clifford Robinson, along with a range of Euros and bench products that may be pieces in the puzzle for this season, or else may be used in future personnel transactions

Question Mark = Synergy
Eric Musselman finished 2nd in the Coach of the Year ballot, but he didn’t win a single Coach of the Month, testament to the consistent results he achieved all season. Not only did he change the on-court success of a suddenly stable, injury-free, team, he transformed the entire atmosphere of the organisation, which, after all, are related. However, with so many new faces, can he do it all again?

Exclamation Mark = Troy Murphy
The 14th pick in the 2001 Draft, a year where high school kids and Jason Richardson dominated headlines, Murphy would today be taken in the top 5. In just 2 seasons, he’s become a legit double-double threat, and is about to gain more of a leadership role. One of the most under-rated players in the game, Murphy can rebound, defend and has a excellent shooting stroke.

2003/04 Mark = 32 wins ? 3

LA Clippers

Offseason Mark = B-
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But what happens if it is broke? The Clippers’ latest head Coach, Mike Dunleavy, has a 4 year plan, and will be treating this season as a step. Whether forward or backward in the standings, it won’t matter this year. Team rock Elton Brand was retained by a big-spending front office over the summer, and he’s an excellent foundation to build upon with their range of young components. It was this uncharacteristic tossing of money at free agent after free agent that defined the Clippers’ offseason.

Question Mark = Clipper Curse
Before last season, the Clippers had high hopes of playoff contention, or at the very least beating Memphis and Golden State. But that didn’t happen. Losing Lamar Odom, Andre Miller and Michael Olowokandi in the one summer would gut most teams, but when you’re a 27-win ballclub to start with, you start to wonder if Dunleavy knows what he is getting himself into?

Exclamation Mark = Bigs
To even think about winning in the West, you need big men. And the Clippers. even with Olowokandi allowed to walk out of town, have 6 centers on their roster, 2 of whom were even born in America. Harnessing this muscle is another matter, however, as all 6 are either inexperienced, foul prone, defensively suspect or injured. Or, all of the above.

2003/04 Mark = 26 wins ? 5