Sep 9, 2004 | Andy
Nothing says football like a toupee wearing, gap-toothed, fat, gay rocker lip synching on national TV, now does it? While you were watching Elton John, Destiny’s Child, Toby Keith, Roxie Roker’s kid and Mary J. Blige suck their way through the Super Bowl...
Sep 9, 2004 | Andy
The NFL season starts tonight and you didn’t think we’d forget, did you? We’ve reassembled our crack staff of scouts and they’ll give you a rundown of all 32 teams. We start in the American Football Conference (you know, the one that CBS...
Sep 9, 2004 | Andy
You didn’t think it could happen. You didn’t think I could blame a 6-0 loss on Paul Bako. Well, guess what? I’ll find a way. It might take me until the end of this column, but I’ll come up with a way to pin this on Gabor Paul Bako II....
Sep 8, 2004 | Andy
You know that junk mail your grandma used to get? It would often offer great deals for little effort, but when she got snookered and fell into the deal, it was a mess to get out of. That?s what this 2004 season has turned into for the Chicago Cubs. It wasn?t supposed...
Sep 8, 2004 | Andy
I dread losses like last night for two reasons. Number one, they royally suck. Number two, I end up cast in the Kevin Spacey role in The Negotiator the next day trying to talk this little corner of Cubdom in from off the ledge. You know what? I’ll tell you when...
Sep 7, 2004 | Andy
Depending on just how petulant you think the 2004 edition of the Baby Bears is, the Cubs either got a four day “time out” or a four day nap. Either way there was a 50-50 chance that they’d come back and either be a) rested and ready or b) crankier...
