Clark, CF
Weaks, 2B
Hall, 3B
El Burro, LF
Overbay, 1B
Jenkins, RF
Hardy, SS
Moeller, C
Sheets, P
Korey, CF
Neifi?, SS
D Lee, 1B
Burnitz, RF
A-Ram, 3B
Walker, 2B
Holly, LF
Barrett, C
Wood, P
Mental Retardation
on June 29, 2005 at 1:01 pm
I enjoy my time with Dustbag. The little dickens.
Ronny Cedeno
on June 29, 2005 at 1:03 pm
Well, someone had to fill the concrete shoes of Enrique Wilson.
Enstinke Wilson
on June 29, 2005 at 1:05 pm
Heh
Rich Hill
on June 29, 2005 at 1:15 pm
Gee, this Iowa sure is a pleasant place. I pitched 6 2/3 innings last night for the win while giving up 1 run on 2 hits with 1 walk and 10 strikeouts.
Wayne Messmer
on June 29, 2005 at 1:16 pm
Brave!
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Comcast showed Joe’s pregame interview. Both he and Dusty insisted that he’s getting closer and that he’s throwing harder, especially his last two outings.
Uh, shouldn’t that be getting “hit” harder? In seven innings in June he gave up four bombs. I honestly can’t remember the three where he didn’t give one up.
I think Joe was trying to get a new job and I think Dusty was trying to help. And you wonder why the players love Dusty.
Wayne Messmer
on June 29, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Brave!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Is it possible that Ronny is justa little tired from all the travel?
Otherwise, I don’t see why you don’t use him. He’s here to give Neifi a breather right? So, let’s let some air out of Neifi today!
Hey Hill! You just keep your trap shut, rook! Yeah, you!
That little bastard’s going to take my job.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:19 pm
If he’s really here to give Neifi a day off, tomorrow seems more likely. You want to get as many lefty bats as you can in the lineup against Sheets today (even if two of them are Corey’s and Neifi’s) and Neifi just had Monday off.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:19 pm
Makes sense to me…and you ease Ronny in later in the game when they bring in that ugly cur Turnbow!
Jose Macias
on June 29, 2005 at 1:20 pm
I’ll get the start at SS tomorrow.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:21 pm
Ronnie is hitting .371 in triple?? Man he’s my new bench warmer..Can’t let him clog the bases like that.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:21 pm
How many leadoff men around baseball are hitting better than Korey’s .242 average.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 1:22 pm
Holy Crap. Ball one.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:22 pm
First pitch: 95 on the black. Now do that about 114 more times.
(And get through more than four innings while doing it).
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 1:23 pm
I meant strike one.
I believe that this is the first game all year that Wood DIDN’T walk the first guy in the game. Not totally sure, but pretty sure.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:23 pm
Um…2 pitches, 1 out. Is that possible?
Krissy Leeann Wood's Vagina
on June 29, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Ouch.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:24 pm
only if you let them hit it Kerry…they’re not going to put those K’s up across the street if you keep getting ground outs.
Come on! Work the count!! 20 Ks, here we come!
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Nice shot of Carlos in the blue top surrounded by the rest of the Cubs in their pinstripes.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:25 pm
The blue tops are slimming…
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:26 pm
Carlos is going to need to wear more than one, then.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:26 pm
If Mel Hall Jr. continues to foul off two-strike pitches, I’ll just pull a Zambrano and peg his fat ass.
And, because it’s relevant to point out in Kerry’s case, 13 pitch inning. That’s downright efficient for him.
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Yeah, a good start, now let’s see you finish.
The Genius
on June 29, 2005 at 1:28 pm
I am livid with those hicks at ESPN, livid I tell you! Who the hell do they think they are, messing with me, the World’s Greatest Fans, and the World’s Greatest Team??!!
Screw you, Kerry. Watch me mow down your lineup in 10 pitches or less.
Ben Sheets
on June 29, 2005 at 1:29 pm
Er, *after* I correct the spelling of my name.
Korey & Neifi?
on June 29, 2005 at 1:29 pm
Gonna take at least 6 pitches to get us out.
The Great Bill Hall
on June 29, 2005 at 1:30 pm
He’s back, bitches.
I’m black, bitches.
Rickie Weeks is on crack, bitches.
Neither of us bitches can handle these Wood pitches.
And you know what else? My jock itches.
Patterson
on June 29, 2005 at 1:30 pm
If I had a mile for every pop out I’ve hit into, I’d cover more ground that than “Wild” Bill Holman has since January.
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 1:30 pm
Wow…good things DO happen when you put the ball in play.
Neifi
on June 29, 2005 at 1:31 pm
Nice warning track power. One pitch. I’m horrible.
At this rate, we could be 0-0 in the 11th. And Sheets will only have 97 pitches.
Moises
on June 29, 2005 at 1:32 pm
Dear Korey:
So glad that you’ve developed your own signiture infield out.
Len Kasper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:32 pm
Neifi hits that one very well…to shallow right for an out.
Sheets
on June 29, 2005 at 1:33 pm
And that’s 10! FY KW.
Gamecast
on June 29, 2005 at 1:34 pm
I just showed the first pitch to D Lee being right down the middle but a ball, was that the case?
Pat Hughes
on June 29, 2005 at 1:34 pm
That’s ok, Len. I was giving an extra base hit call on Neifi’s line drive, too, until I realized the wind blowing in from center field made me sound ridiculous.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:35 pm
HA! Sheets didn’t even manage ONE strikeout!
You call that pitching!?
The Great Derrek Lee
on June 29, 2005 at 1:35 pm
What Bill said, sorta.
Pat Hughes
on June 29, 2005 at 1:36 pm
I called Neifi’s hit as a homer call at first also.
Would you fuckers forget about Chip already for fucks sake?
Chip
on June 29, 2005 at 1:36 pm
Swung on and BELTED!
Mr. Sarah Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:37 pm
I like those three-pitch K’s.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:38 pm
a ROCKET shot to third
Sarah Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:39 pm
Wheeee!!
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:39 pm
My stuff looks nasty so far, female dogs.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:39 pm
25 pitches. 20 strikes. 5 balls. “Mechanics”! Ha! I fart in your general direction, Will Carroll.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 1:40 pm
What was the name of Chip’s college roommate who fired off an angry letter to Andy because we made such a sport of ripping Chip?
The best part of it was this guy, in defending Chip’s “originalness”, would describe wild collegian Chip sitting in his dorm room, watching hockey games with the sound turned off and practicing his play-by-play.
Creepiest. Image. Ever.
FLASH
on June 29, 2005 at 1:41 pm
Fez and Dubois for Mark Kotsay, announcement after the game? Discuss.
At This Rate...
on June 29, 2005 at 1:41 pm
…Kerry would have 100 pitches at the end of 8 innings.
Dick Vitale
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
I STILL AM LOOK FOR A BLACK MAN FOR SEX!!!!!!!!!DUNKAROO!!!!!
Mechanics?
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Someone mention horrible, painful mechanics?
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Has anybody in the press yet asked Baker his rational for batting Corey and Neifi first? What a bunch of gutless hacks.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
if that’s a real trade, I would do it in a heartbeat
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
I know this breaking ball! (this is that 20k one, remember?)
Wind
on June 29, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Um Cubs…I’m blowing in today…no need to come out of your shoes on every swing.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:43 pm
I believe he said Chip was calling those games into a hairbrush. I’ve got to look that up.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Why would Beane want Duboyz though? He’s a strikeout machine?
“In college, I remember him practicing by announcing Hockey games, Baseball games, etc. that were on TV…..with the volume turned all the way down.”
Rumor. San Jose sports radio, my sis gave me a ring, she heard it on her way in to work. They don’t seem to jive as much on the West coast radio as they do here or out east, so maybe there’s something to it?
Hanging Curve
on June 29, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Foreign Exchange Student = Sergio Meat-Tray
Fire
on June 29, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Hey Earth and Wind, I’m on my way to Des Moines, unless Sweaty Joe’s picked up off waivers.
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 1:46 pm
What’s wrong with pretending to announce hockey games with the sound turned down on the TV? I do the play-by-play, and the little man that lives in my head does the color.
Is this why my wife had me committed?
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:47 pm
How’s Walker supposed to protect Lee and Ram if he’s standing on second?!
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:47 pm
See? If I have those guys at the top of the order, who would hit at the bottom?
I offered so much protection for ARam that he popped out on two pitches.
And then I doubled.
Not that, you know, it would be any more helpful for me to do that from the leadoff spot. Not IN FRONT of Lee, Ramirez, Burnitz. No siree.
Dusty’s a retard. Say it with me.
Impatient Cub Fan
on June 29, 2005 at 1:49 pm
Anytime Michael Barrett wants to start hitting again, that would be fine with me.
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 1:49 pm
I say bat Lee 9th, so he can protect everybody.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Me and Barrett set the table for the pitcher, Corey and Neifi.
Brilliant, no?
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Give Carlos a bat and let him walk around “protecting” everybody
Jason Dubois
on June 29, 2005 at 1:50 pm
I got traded? Whew. I came into the clubhouse to take a dump and that little Jap was packing my stuff up in a box. I thought I was going to get to drive Joe to Des Moines.
Michael Barrett
on June 29, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Well, I was gonna, but since you were so smarmy about it, I think I’ll stink it up for a while longer.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:51 pm
32 pitches? You suck Sheets.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Dusty’s reasoning is actually not COMPLETELY insane.
Batting Walker behind ARam, that is.
But couldn’t he do it with Barrett (present slump notwithstanding.)?
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:53 pm
Gotta go righty, lefty, righty, lefty, man.
The old Kerry Wood (By old, I mean Shitty)
on June 29, 2005 at 1:53 pm
I’m baaaaccccckkkkk.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:53 pm
Ahh, that’s more like it. Nice job, Kerry walk the worst hitter in the National League to lead off an inning. That won’t come back to haunt you.
Walk Mr. Sub-Mendoza. That’s the Kerry we all love!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:53 pm
Kotsay
Walker
Lee
Burnitz
Ram
Korey
Holly
Barrett
I like it
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 1:54 pm
Did I just walk the worst hitter in the Brewers lineup? Whoops.
Neifi
on June 29, 2005 at 1:54 pm
Bob just said, “Anybody with a bat in their hands is dangerous.”
He doesn’t watch my at bats anymore.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:54 pm
You guys need to cut me some slack.
Given the current guys in the lineup, there are 362,880 possible lineups.
My current lineup is about the 10,000th best.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:54 pm
Kerry was obviously more worried about Chad Molar and the pitcher
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 1:55 pm
I can’t say that I “like” any lineup that features Todd Hollandsworth playing LF everyday. But it’s an improvement.
J.J. Hardy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:55 pm
He’s back, bitches
I’m white bitches
I couldn’t hit my own weight bitches.
But I don’t have to swing at these pitches.
And you know what else? My sack itches.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:55 pm
Woah, dude. I’m gonna need somebody to protect Barrett in the lineup:
Lee
Ramirez
Walker
Burnitz
Barrett
Hollandsworth
Pitcher
Neifi
Corey
A Trade
on June 29, 2005 at 1:57 pm
It will take me to force Dustbag to switch around his lineup…for the better that is.
Kerry
on June 29, 2005 at 1:57 pm
I just walked Hardy because he seems like a nice kid, and I was going to strike out the side.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 1:57 pm
Ho Ho Kamper,
I like your idea of a 3 man infield and 4-man outfield.
Chad Moeller
on June 29, 2005 at 1:58 pm
I have three homers, two against the Cubs and both with Andy sitting in section 322.
Umpire
on June 29, 2005 at 1:58 pm
Hoooooooaaaaah!!!
Rob Neyer
on June 29, 2005 at 1:58 pm
Lee shouldn’t even be in that lineup, because, “he’s just not that good a player.”
Moeller and Sheets
on June 29, 2005 at 1:58 pm
What JJ said.
Prior
on June 29, 2005 at 1:58 pm
Come on Wood, you wuss, you’re supposed to knock those down!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 1:59 pm
I realized that my lineup did not include a shortstop…apparently, you need those:
Cedeno SS
Kotsay CF
Lee 1B
Burnitz RF
Ramirez 3B
Patterson LF
Walker 2B
Barrett C
When did we get so left-handed?
Chip
on June 29, 2005 at 1:59 pm
Trouble Brewin’!
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 1:59 pm
Len, buddy, I’ve got this.
JJ Hardy is the first runner to reach third since Jermaine Dye did in the third inning on Saturday.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 2:00 pm
Umm dude…so who is going to play short stop, dude?
Rob Neyer
on June 29, 2005 at 2:00 pm
That last strikeout should actually count as two.
Rickie Weeks
on June 29, 2005 at 2:00 pm
I was all happy that I got called up two weeks ago so I could miss Kerry’s rehab appearance against us in Nashville. Now the bastard followed me to Chicago. Go away!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 2:00 pm
the streak continues
Ricky Weeks
on June 29, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Exactly what Bill said.
Rob Neyer
on June 29, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Derrek Lee joins Derek Jeter in my pantheon of Dereks who aren’t that good. My sliderule deems it to be so!
Yadier Molina
on June 29, 2005 at 2:01 pm
That last swing was almost as ugly as me. And I’m ugly…Real ugly.
Some Dereks are good at some things. I’d suggest that John Derek was pretty good at snatch catching.
JP Riccardi
on June 29, 2005 at 2:03 pm
Hey, I’m a stat-head GM and I love Jason Dubois. It’s not that far fetched that the A’s would be interested in a guy with plus power, can play left, first or DH and is four years away from arbitration.
One of these days I’m going to get tired of swinging at that pitch.
One of these days. Not today.
Derek Bell
on June 29, 2005 at 2:04 pm
Hey Neyer, don’t forget about me? Remember that time, in 1998, I flailed away helplessly at a young Kerry Wood’s slider that broke 4 feet off of home plate? That was awesome.
Linda and Bo
on June 29, 2005 at 2:04 pm
That John Derek is a P-I-G, pig!
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 2:04 pm
I am so lost up here, it’s not even funny. It’s disgusting as well as embarrassing watching me “hit”…especially from the leadoff spot.
Derek Turnbow
on June 29, 2005 at 2:05 pm
You wanna go, pretty boy?
Neifi
on June 29, 2005 at 2:05 pm
That had home run distance on another day. Hey I’m on first base. What do I do now?
Derek von Derrick
on June 29, 2005 at 2:05 pm
I am the best porn star name of all time.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:06 pm
That’s funny, I thought I just say Neifi get thrown out trying to steal with two outs and the best hitter in baseball at the plate. I have got to get my eyes checked.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Dude, I’m just trying to get you going man. Then once you’re hot again, we’ll move you back to the 6 spot. That’s what the lead off spot is for, getting your struggling hitters more AB’s so they can work their way out of it.
Neifi Perez
on June 29, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Why did I just run with Lee up? Anybody? Ah Fuck…
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Say…saw…I was in shock, I couldn’t type.
Aghast
on June 29, 2005 at 2:07 pm
I am without speech.
AAA
on June 29, 2005 at 2:07 pm
Huh, that’s funny. What am I for again?
They Sent Neifi
on June 29, 2005 at 2:08 pm
With the Hottest Hitter in Baseball batting? My god.
Aflac Answer?
on June 29, 2005 at 2:08 pm
Kerry Wood and Bob Feller?
Booed again
on June 29, 2005 at 2:09 pm
Was Corey me after that whiff?
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 2:10 pm
Yes…I go cry now.
Old Times
on June 29, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Ah, yes. I’m a fucker.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Let’s keep throwing Bill Hall fastballs. That’s a great idea. He hasn’t hit a curveball in three years, but why throw him that?
Streak
on June 29, 2005 at 2:11 pm
I’m over.
Chin Music
on June 29, 2005 at 2:11 pm
If I still existed in today’s game, Mell Hall Jr. and I would be close friends.
I’ve seen this movie. 52 pitches. 3+ innings. Long homers.
The box office is in a slump because they keep selling movies like Kerry Wood.
Booed again
on June 29, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Go cry in DesMoines.
Michael Barret
on June 29, 2005 at 2:12 pm
Because, Andy,
I’m not a very good catcher.
Or very smart.
Michael Barrett
on June 29, 2005 at 2:12 pm
I was catching last week when Hall hit Jerome’s fastball for two homers. But I forgot. You know, catching is very complicated. You have to remember stuff.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 2:12 pm
I don’t think Korey, dispite his recent struggles, would clear waivers.
Bill Hall
on June 29, 2005 at 2:13 pm
This is what I think of your streak, fool!
I step on first! Then second! Then third! Then home! Boo-yah, motherpusser!
Moss on a Rolling Stone
on June 29, 2005 at 2:13 pm
The Lead-off man (not the TV show)
on June 29, 2005 at 2:14 pm
Three innings, two of us have reached. Yeah, Kerry’s really figured things out.
Post it note on Kerry's locker...
on June 29, 2005 at 2:14 pm
Kerry, while you were out, Bill Hall became the Black Jesus and started hitting everything inside within an inch of its life. He also turns water into Colt 45 Malt Liquor and gets free head in strip joints all over the mid-west. Be very careful with him.
Kyle Farnsworth
on June 29, 2005 at 2:14 pm
Kerry Wood’s becoem a pussy like me.
99 MPH fastball but the failure to brush guys off the plate renders it irrelevant.
I think Bill Hall’s got a 6-inch divot at home plate from digging in. Doesn’t he look comfortable?
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:15 pm
Yeah Michael, because I’m not allowed to shake you off or anything.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:15 pm
Can I get 6 outs on 8 more pitches? That’s what Prior did – 6 innings, 71 pitches.
Ignore the shut out part.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 2:16 pm
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:16 pm
Coming into the game, guys leading off an inning against Kerry had a .400 on base average and a .652 slugging percentage.
Mark Prior’s numbers: .221 on base average, .328 slugging percentage.
I wonder which guy’s pitching better?
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:17 pm
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Todd Dunwoody.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:18 pm
In Barrett’s defense, he didn’t call for an inside fastball, that’s where Kerry threw it, though.
Derrek Lee
on June 29, 2005 at 2:18 pm
I suck. I haven’t hit a homer since yesterday.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:19 pm
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Cramps.
Beer Nutz
on June 29, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Catch THAT one Jenkins! Ha ha ha!!!
Jeromy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Fine, I’ll do it if Derrek won’t.
Burnitz
on June 29, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Sammy who?
Mr. Obvious
on June 29, 2005 at 2:20 pm
Kerry Wood is no Mark Prior, never was, never will be. Poor comparison. Were it not for the 20 K game masterpiece in 98, would people even THINK Wood was comparable?
He looks pretty good today, I’ll take Kerry as my #4 starter, no problem. But he ain’t no ace. The fact he gets paid $11MM a year to be a #4 starter is troublesome, but hey, it ain’t my money. And it’s a sunk cost.
Go get ’em, Krissy.
Jeromy Burnitz
on June 29, 2005 at 2:20 pm
That’s how it’s done, Corey. Why don’t you try it for a games?
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 2:21 pm
FYC!!!!
Huh? Oh…
this game
on June 29, 2005 at 2:21 pm
UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW DAMMIT!!!
You won’t get away with this!
Do you know who my father is?
Samuel Perelta Sosa
on June 29, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Hey buddy, Beer Nuts hits a few homers for you, OK buddy, but he’s no gladiator. I will take a team to the World Series myself. Granted, it will be while driving a tour bus of Arkansas retirees, but, hey–I resent the inference I am no longer your Gladiator! Not buddies!
Shiits up to 64 pitches. We may see bullpen in about 4 or 5 more outs.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
Yeah, Corey, I shouldn’t hit leadoff. You insufferable prick.
Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
I’m not
Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
Just hanging out, here at the bottom of the lineup. Don’t mind me. Asshole.
Ron Santo
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
Todd Walker hit that ball too hard. That’s why he got a double. Too much top spin.
Indianapolis
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
It’s raining like a female dog in me. If I were Chicago, you’d have to start working right now. No telling when you’d let up either.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:24 pm
You can’t steal first base. And I don’t need to steal second.
Neifi
on June 29, 2005 at 2:25 pm
I can’t steal 2nd either.
Paul Reiser
on June 29, 2005 at 2:25 pm
I’m apparently singing the Seventh Inning Stretch. Other than having a fairly successful mid-90s sitcom that had decent ratings in Chicago, what other ties do I have here again? What city is this?
Mother Nature
on June 29, 2005 at 2:26 pm
Unless I’ve changed my mind and let rain travel East to West, why do I care if its raining in nap town?
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:27 pm
I know I’m not leading off. I’m batting at the bottom of the order while Ty Cobb and Honus Wagner… aka Corey Patterson and Neifi Perez… set the table for Derrek Lee.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:29 pm
Really, I’m hitting .315 BA with .360 OBP and .830 OPS, it’s not like I should hit 2nd or anything in front of Derrek Lee. I mean, Neifi and K-Patt are such obvious talents, Dusty is much smarter than every other person in baseball.
Hey, Ben Sheets has thrown more pitches than Wood…
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 2:30 pm
Hey T-Walk,
If you weren’t such a sore ass, I might listen to you.
Get a better attitude dude.
Indianapolis
on June 29, 2005 at 2:30 pm
I was just saying that we’re lucky that… eh, nobody cares what I say any way. I’m a dumbass. A sopping wet dumbass.
Ronny Cedeno
on June 29, 2005 at 2:30 pm
Shut up Todd, at least you get to play.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 2:30 pm
Todd, you know my methods. I like to bat short guys who are fast (or in Neifi’s case appear to be fast) at the top of the lineup to set the table, regardless of how good they actually are. Oh, and no white guys can hit higher than 4th, otherwise they’ll bat too many times and get heatstroke.
Hey Todd, you should go over to the Cub Reporter sometime. The folks who post commentsover there absolutely love Dusty. “He brought the city a division title!” “He has the second highest winning percentage among active managers!” (I love this one) “Batting order doesn’t make a significant difference!”
Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:31 pm
Prior had 71 through 6; I’ve got 71 through. Not bad. Now calm the fuck down, Chuck.
Cubs Friday starter
on June 29, 2005 at 2:32 pm
have I been announced yet?
Am I Jerome Williams or the G-Unit?
Corey Patterson
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
I saw 71 pitches one season.
HG Welles
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
If I invent a time machine, go back in time two weeks, and kill Bill Hall, the Cubs would come into this game 7 games over 500, tied with Atlanta for the Wild Card lead, and they’d have an ongoing 40+ inning scoreless streak in the works, this game included. Do I have that right?
Prior
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Hey KW,
How are you going to throw 0 pitches to get three outs. I am superior!
Desipiots
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Bring back Jim Riggleman!
Alex Cora
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Hey Korey i saw 18 pitches in one at bat. Then I did what you try to do every swing.
Greg Evigan
on June 29, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Hi, I’m Greg Evigan! You may remember me from BJ and the Bear, and My Two Dads? Greg! Evigan! Greg Evigan!
Dick Butkus
on June 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm
I was on “My Two Das”
TGIF
on June 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm
Puka Boy pitches Friday. G Unit is in the bullpen. K-Patt and Neifi willl start and bat 1-2 in the order. We now return you to your regular programming.
K-Patt
on June 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm
I’m bout to go Sheffield on this hunky.
Dick Butkus
on June 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm
Ahem. DaDs. Forgot the second D.
Ditka’s a phony by the way. I’m the true face of that crappy rfranchise.
Phil Rogers
on June 29, 2005 at 2:36 pm
I say the Cubs bring back the great Cubs manager of the mid 80s…
More susprising than Woods’ relative efficiency thus far has been the Cubs’ demonstrating that rare ability to drive up Ben Sheet’s pitch count. He’s closing in on 90 and we’re not even into the 6th.
Holy shit. Did Patterson just walk on a count that WASN’T 3-0, and it was, in fact, a “payoff pitch”, 3-and-2?
I’m speechless.
9-pitch at bat
on June 29, 2005 at 2:38 pm
even if I’m aK, I’m good for the team. A 10 pitch walk though? Shoot! Korey, take the rest of the day off.
Dusty Baker has been blessed with a talented team to manage ever since he got here. Only a moran would blindly compare the Cubs of the last 3 years with the Cubs of, say, the early 1990s and say “see? Dusty’s a better manager!”
Korey just walked, on a 10-pitch at bat. Read that again, as the Sports Guy would say.
Patterson walked ans stole second, but don’t worry, Neifi! is here to kill the opportunity.
Korey's at bat
on June 29, 2005 at 2:39 pm
I’m a 10 pitch double.
Dick Butkus
on June 29, 2005 at 2:39 pm
Don’t forget my roles in Hamburger: The Movie and Johnny Dangerously
Mr. Buttermaker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:40 pm
Now Neifi, just try and lean into one.
Derrek Lee
on June 29, 2005 at 2:41 pm
At this point, why not bat me first? It’s not like I ever bat with men on base anyway.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:41 pm
Intrepid Reader: Desipiots
June 29th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Bring back Jim Riggleman!
Yeah, I’m not done punching him yet!
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:42 pm
Pepsi gray t-shirt day? Ooh, there’s a quality giveaway.
How about Desipio dirty t-shirt day?
Ladies' jugs
on June 29, 2005 at 2:42 pm
There are some fine ones on display today at Wrigley. Hello!
Lord's Prayer
on June 29, 2005 at 2:42 pm
Please God, smite thou Neifi! with thine bold lightning stroke. He hath sinned against thee with his pact with Beelzebub. Revenge is thine, cleanse thy Earth and slay the sinner. Like, now, he’s killing our lineup, dude. Thanks.
Larry Rothchild
on June 29, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Anyone want to guess what I set KW’s pitch limit at?
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Everyday is Desipio dirty t-shirt day!
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:43 pm
This game would be so much easier if it was legal to get the first batter of each inning out.
lurking
on June 29, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Bill Hall is doing me as you speak.
Joe Borowski
on June 29, 2005 at 2:44 pm
What’s the worst thing about getting released by the Cubs?
They made me keep my season tickets.
I know, it’s an old Ken Reitz joke.
Lead off walk
on June 29, 2005 at 2:44 pm
Who saw me coming?
Now batting, Bill Hall!
6th Inning
on June 29, 2005 at 2:44 pm
I will be Kerry’s last.
Rickie Weeks
on June 29, 2005 at 2:44 pm
Not yet, Billy.
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:45 pm
Glendon, take me away!
Vladimir Putin
on June 29, 2005 at 2:46 pm
Yo, I got my Super Bowl Ring, bitches! Someone call Wanny so I can show him what one looks like!
Apparently, the Cubs want to Rusch from bad to Weurtz.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 2:46 pm
The Cubs have some interns spraying the fans in the box seats with what is either water, or Thompson’s Deck Sealer.
Eamus Catuli
on June 29, 2005 at 2:46 pm
Anyone else out there who doesn’t want to see Wood face Bill Hall this inning?
Wanny
on June 29, 2005 at 2:47 pm
I’ve got two! Just none where Jimmy Johnson wasn’t making all of my decisions for me.
Michael Barrett
on June 29, 2005 at 2:47 pm
Now would be a good time for the old number one, right inside!
Hawk Harrelson
on June 29, 2005 at 2:48 pm
Right size, wrong shape!
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 2:49 pm
Great, now it’s time for Bill “Too Big” Hall.
Bob Brenly
on June 29, 2005 at 2:49 pm
YOU NEED TO HIT THAT FCKR IN THE FACE, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Brent David
on June 29, 2005 at 2:49 pm
Actually, we’re spraying the fans with Scope. There was a big bottle of it in the Front Office.
Dusty
on June 29, 2005 at 2:50 pm
It’s hot, I’ve got to get the whiteys out of this game.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 2:50 pm
Crap! I wanted to take him out!
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
Rusch and Wuetz are warming up.
Something tells me my pitch count is around 90.
CPD
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
You’re supposed to spray them with mace, and then hit them with clubs. Amateurs.
Bob Costas
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
And if that’s the last image we have of Kerry Wood in a Cubs uniform (for the day) what a great memory he’s left us with.
(I know, it’s my line about Michael Jordan’s jumper to win Game 6 in 1998, but I’m an overreactive nincompoop.)
9K QS R 2H 90 Pitches
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
Actually not to bad for a first outing
KKKKKKKKK Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
91 pitches 9 Ks 6 innings
Chip Caray
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
I smell a rally “brewing”, haha!! I’m such a sardonic wit.
Iowa Cubs marketing geniuses
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
Intrepid Reader: Andy
June 29th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
The Cubs have some interns spraying the fans in the box seats with what is either water, or Thompson’s Deck Sealer.
Instead of Interns spraying fans with water, how about our fans spraying our interns, like the Rally Lace…
and the Rally Carp…
with water?
The Big Shoe
on June 29, 2005 at 2:51 pm
Intern, where’s my Scope!?!
Kerry Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:52 pm
Hey Prior –
I can have a one run lead after 6 innings, too.
Mine’s just a bit scarier.
Kerry Lee Wood
on June 29, 2005 at 2:52 pm
From today’s Ivy Chat
“Wood’s history suggests that 6 innings, 71 pitches and 1 hit shout-out ball is not what’s going to be on display. More like 4 innings of 3 run, 4 walk ball is what we’ll get to see.”
Up your ass, Chuck, you misnathropic, bitter cur.
Derrek Lee
on June 29, 2005 at 2:53 pm
That’s how you lead off, Korey
Appreciative Cub Fan
on June 29, 2005 at 2:53 pm
6 IP, 2 hits, 1 ER, 9 K’s, 91 pitches. Outstanding return for Wood, I’m impressed, even if it is the Brewers. I think I pull him and turn it over to Novoa, Wuertz and Dempster.
Nice job by Kerry. He apparently didn’t get the memo that the Cubs weren’t going to allow a run until the All-Star Break, but that was an excellent effort. He’s done, right? OK, maybe not.
See, it’s OK to make the second out at third base. Though this is inane, because who wouldn’t want one out and a runner at second?
Only the Cubs could successfully start the runner to avoid a double play, only to run into a double play.
A significant proportion of the population of Queens
on June 29, 2005 at 2:57 pm
We are!
Moises
on June 29, 2005 at 2:58 pm
Derrek was on the move when Burnitz grounded to short, Lee rounded second and thought he could beat any of the Brewers to third, but didn’t.
Bravura Fan
on June 29, 2005 at 2:58 pm
To the witty poster with the Funk and Wagnall’s by his laptop….love the “bitter cur” bit, outstanding!! Why’d you ruin it by mispelling “misanthropic”? Meh.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 2:58 pm
Morpheus–
5-3-6
Burnitz’ dribbler to third, Lee never hesitated going from first to third but Overbay made a nice throw to Hall who ran to cover the bag.
Yoda, you sound more like me. So shall it be written, so shall it be done.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 3:21 pm
What would Corey hit if he took an approach like Brady Clark? You know shorten up his swing, use the middle of the ballpark, leg out some hits? Nah, that’s just crazy.
Aside from the Giambi K, you also recorded a Save in Game #3 of the NLCS that year.
You know, after Luis Castillo’s brilliant baserunning.
Will Ohman's Dictionary
on June 29, 2005 at 3:29 pm
Blind. Squirrel. Acorn. These are your words for the day.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 3:30 pm
YOUR 2007 CHICAGO CUBS!!!
The Northern Division All-Star roster was set earlier today and the West Tenn Diamond Jaxx secured a Northern Division high seven players for the upcoming Southern League All-Star Game, to be played on July 13th at Hank Aaron Stadium in Mobile, Alabama. The Diamond Jaxx players named to the All-Star game include SS Buck Coats, former Jaxx closer Talley Haines, 3B Casey McGehee, OF Matt Murton, RHP Ricky Nolasco, OF Felix Pie and RHP Andy Shipman.
Will Ohman
on June 29, 2005 at 3:30 pm
FYMD.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 3:30 pm
YOUR 2007 CHICAGO CUBS!!!
The Northern Division All-Star roster was set earlier today and the West Tenn Diamond Jaxx secured a Northern Division high seven players for the upcoming Southern League All-Star Game, to be played on July 13th at Hank Aaron Stadium in Mobile, Alabama. The Diamond Jaxx players named to the All-Star game include SS Buck Coats, former Jaxx closer Talley Haines, 3B Casey McGehee, OF Matt Murton, RHP Ricky Nolasco, OF Felix Pie and RHP Andy Shipman.
Dumpster
on June 29, 2005 at 3:30 pm
Am I availble today. Boy I am happy that I got into that inning on Saturday with a 4-run lead.
Dusty Baker's Career Meter
on June 29, 2005 at 3:34 pm
Flickering gently.
Derrek Lee
on June 29, 2005 at 3:36 pm
What the hell is this guy doing on base when I’m hitting?
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 3:36 pm
The thing is, Jim Hendry shouldn’t have to step in and “not allow this”…Dusty should bench Corey right now. I don’t care who he puts in center. This is absurd.
I’ve decided that my recent futility at the plate is due to the fact that I have no protection in the lineup.
Neifi an All-Star? Puh-leeze
Pat Hughes
on June 29, 2005 at 3:43 pm
Game tied here in game six of the World Series, bases loaded, one out the Cubs clinging to a 4-3 lead. Hey, did you know This Old Cub, a movie made by Ron Santo’s son Jeff will be airing on WGN-TV this weekend?
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 3:43 pm
JJ Hardy is auditioning to be a Cub.
.371 OPS!
on June 29, 2005 at 3:43 pm
Shit!
Prince
on June 29, 2005 at 3:44 pm
I’m going yard, then I’m serving you pancakes!
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 3:44 pm
I bunt better than J J Hardy Boys
JJ Hardy
on June 29, 2005 at 3:45 pm
You pop up better than I do.
Korey
on June 29, 2005 at 3:45 pm
Please don’t throw him fastballs
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 3:46 pm
if Novoa holds em, I think we win in the bottom of the inning
Prince
on June 29, 2005 at 3:46 pm
I’d make a good Cub, too.
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 3:46 pm
Question: why didn’t Baker leave Cedeno in to play short put the pitcher in Neifi’s spot?
That’s awful. Santana throws four straight bad ones, and E-ramis swings at the first pitch. Jeezus, make a guy throw a strike.
Todd Walker
on June 29, 2005 at 3:54 pm
Get ready to run Jeromy. Fast.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 3:55 pm
Actually it’s 17 K’s, not 15, from Daily Dribble since Wednesday. Just awful.
Fundamental Baseball
on June 29, 2005 at 3:55 pm
Let me tell you something folks. Whenever the pitcher throws 4 straight balls to lead off an inning, it’s always a good idea for the next hitter to swing at the first pitch.
And I get to go tomorrow to see them try to add one for the thumb.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 4:03 pm
If the Todds batted any higher they woulda been too tired from clogging up the bases all game to pull that one out in the ninth.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 4:03 pm
Great now we can kick back and wait out the bogus Kotsay trade rumor!
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Walker
Hollandsworth
Lee
Burnitz
Ramirez
Korey
Cedeno
Barrett
Hell Yeah
on June 29, 2005 at 4:04 pm
A play at the plate
on June 29, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Was there me?
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Oh, I almost forgot about Kotsay…thanks Andy…I will begin holding my breath………
….. Now
Heads Up, National League
on June 29, 2005 at 4:06 pm
That’s four runs allowed in the last our games. Considering Poi Dog’s relief appearance and his imminent insertion into the rotation, that’s merely one time through our starting five.
Good times.
No Play At The Plate
on June 29, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Beer Nutz scored standing up.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Andy, if you’re still there, would you mind posting any news of a trade on your site for us poor shlubs stuck at work until 5pm (Pacific)?
Eamus Catuli
on June 29, 2005 at 4:07 pm
I’ll be there for Maddux’s 8th Win tomorrow.
So will my son for his first game at Wrigley. 4 years old tomorrow.
T.J. Brown
on June 29, 2005 at 4:09 pm
Chuck, bring in win No. 5 tomorrow. I’ll be sure to lose my house Friday betting on Prior to shut down the Nats.
Nationals
on June 29, 2005 at 4:09 pm
We’re not so good on the road, TJ. Bet the house.
T.J. Brown
on June 29, 2005 at 4:10 pm
Eamus,
I prefer to look at it as Maddux’s 313th win. And that’s a great age, 4 years old, to see Wrigley Field for the first time.
Beege
on June 29, 2005 at 4:10 pm
I passed Don Baylor on the most HBP’s list today. Chip weeps for me. He’s so sensitive, he hates to see pitchers hit me.
I offered you tickie, you passed and chose craps and free drinks from women with massive cleavage.
How’d you get so lucky?
T.J. Brown
on June 29, 2005 at 4:12 pm
So were the Astros and Rockies, Nats. And the Cubs strung a 2-game home losing streak playing those two titans.
Ho Ho Kamper
on June 29, 2005 at 4:14 pm
Hey Chuck, looks like Rob Neyer has been drinking your (our) kool-aid. In his chat today, he said: Despite my dire predictions, somehow the Cubs have played well enough to hang around in the Wild Card race. And IF Prior and Wood are both healthy after the All-Star Game, I think they’ve actually got a shot. And if they can actually get Corey Patterson out of the lineup, all the better…
T.J. Brown
on June 29, 2005 at 4:14 pm
I have a very cool wife I guess. Friday afternoon, I’m driving to LA and that night, I’ll be at Chavez Ravine to see Brad Penny take on Cy Young Award candidate TBA. I’ll be relatively close to the Dodger dugout, so hopefully the crippled Gabor Bako will be there. I’ll give him all your best.
Eamus Catuli
on June 29, 2005 at 4:16 pm
Kid’s excited beyond belief.
He’s been reading that “Wrigley Field A to Z” picture book the Cubs’ Wives made.
Great preparation material.
8th Row by the Brewers’ bullpen.
Look for the kid with the “It’s my first Cub game” sign.
Trailing
on June 29, 2005 at 4:16 pm
The Cubs haven’t been us since the 9th inning of Friday’s game.
4 was when I got my first taste of Wrigley…saw Holtzman in his 9-0 year…
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 4:18 pm
He’s been reading that “Wrigley Field A to Z†picture book the Cubs’ Wives made.
Great preparation material. ”
I was at Costco last September and the illustrator of that book was there, signing copies. It was right around the time of my niece’s (and one of my goddaughters) fourth birthday, so it made a perfect gift. He signed the book and we both took a minute to rip on Sosa. Good times.
Andy
on June 29, 2005 at 4:22 pm
If there’s a trade, Ho Ho Kamper, I or any number of us will begin a post frenzy.
Personally, I think Beane will hang onto Kotsay until the Yankees have had some more time to panic. I think Preston Wilson is this year’s Orlando Cabrera, the guy Hendry knows he can get, and what he can get him for, but wants to wait for something better.
CT
on June 29, 2005 at 4:23 pm
Here’s hoping that the Yanks go through with the Cameron/Sheffield deal.
There’s two A-Z books. One is by the wives. Another is by a friend of my step-dads. This one is great. Just read it to the 5 Year Old last night (he chose it – how cool is that!).
Only downside: Forward by Chipy.
Mike D.
on June 29, 2005 at 4:28 pm
That’s the one, Chuck, although that must be a second printing as I recall the one I got had a different cover.
And the fact that my version was autographed by the illustrator nullified the fact that the forward was soiled by Chip Caray.
KD
on June 29, 2005 at 4:39 pm
Whoever posted that Mike + the Mechanics picture is now my enemy. Sure, they sucked balls, but no band that has ever featured the sublime Paul Carrack on keys and vox should ever be mocked.
Rob Neyer
on June 29, 2005 at 4:47 pm
Take my word as gospel. For I am the Baseball God.
Eamus Catuli
on June 29, 2005 at 4:48 pm
This is the one the Cub Wives did … for Kids
Supposedly the Wives did the illustrations.
The wives were signing the book at the Tuesday Night game vs Toronto. 6/7/05
The Meat-tray
on June 29, 2005 at 4:51 pm
If I was in the bullpen at the end of the game, throwing,
I say that crushes any potential deal involving me today, no?
Mike Rutherford
on June 29, 2005 at 4:55 pm
Leave Carrack alone! I should be the one mocked, for leaving Mr. Collins and Mr. Banks, to play with these goons.
Apex
on June 29, 2005 at 5:03 pm
I don’t think those are the same book. Maybe they are but if they’re not, and Chip did the foreward to both, that’s just ridiculous. What a colostomy bag.
Mechanics
on June 29, 2005 at 5:06 pm
K.D., Let me present you version 2.0 of bad, painful mechanics:
All true, but how does that make ME a dumbass? Eh? Eh?
Hey, maybe I’ll play today!
We’re late, so there’s still a change you’re starting dude!
Sorry Ronny… no love for you… Dusty isn’t smart enough to play you. He can’t even compose a starting lineup that makes sense.
Lineups:
Brewers
1 Brady Clark, CF
2 Rickie Weeks, 2B
3 Bill Hall, 3B
4 Carlos Lee, LF
5 Lyle Overbay, 1B
6 Geoff Jenkins, RF
7 J.J. Hardy, SS
8 Chad Moeller, C
9 Ben Sheets, P
Cubs
1 Corey Patterson, CF
2 Neifi Perez, SS
3 Derrek Lee, 1B
4 Jeromy Burnitz, RF
5 Aramis Ramirez, 3B
6 Todd Walker, 2B
7 Todd Hollandsworth, LF
8 Michael Barrett, C
9 Kerry Wood, P
Clark, CF
Weaks, 2B
Hall, 3B
El Burro, LF
Overbay, 1B
Jenkins, RF
Hardy, SS
Moeller, C
Sheets, P
Korey, CF
Neifi?, SS
D Lee, 1B
Burnitz, RF
A-Ram, 3B
Walker, 2B
Holly, LF
Barrett, C
Wood, P
I enjoy my time with Dustbag. The little dickens.
Well, someone had to fill the concrete shoes of Enrique Wilson.
Heh
Gee, this Iowa sure is a pleasant place. I pitched 6 2/3 innings last night for the win while giving up 1 run on 2 hits with 1 walk and 10 strikeouts.
Brave!
Comcast showed Joe’s pregame interview. Both he and Dusty insisted that he’s getting closer and that he’s throwing harder, especially his last two outings.
Uh, shouldn’t that be getting “hit” harder? In seven innings in June he gave up four bombs. I honestly can’t remember the three where he didn’t give one up.
I think Joe was trying to get a new job and I think Dusty was trying to help. And you wonder why the players love Dusty.
Brave!
Is it possible that Ronny is justa little tired from all the travel?
Otherwise, I don’t see why you don’t use him. He’s here to give Neifi a breather right? So, let’s let some air out of Neifi today!
Hey Hill! You just keep your trap shut, rook! Yeah, you!
That little bastard’s going to take my job.
If he’s really here to give Neifi a day off, tomorrow seems more likely. You want to get as many lefty bats as you can in the lineup against Sheets today (even if two of them are Corey’s and Neifi’s) and Neifi just had Monday off.
Makes sense to me…and you ease Ronny in later in the game when they bring in that ugly cur Turnbow!
I’ll get the start at SS tomorrow.
Ronnie is hitting .371 in triple?? Man he’s my new bench warmer..Can’t let him clog the bases like that.
How many leadoff men around baseball are hitting better than Korey’s .242 average.
Holy Crap. Ball one.
First pitch: 95 on the black. Now do that about 114 more times.
(And get through more than four innings while doing it).
I meant strike one.
I believe that this is the first game all year that Wood DIDN’T walk the first guy in the game. Not totally sure, but pretty sure.
Um…2 pitches, 1 out. Is that possible?
Ouch.
only if you let them hit it Kerry…they’re not going to put those K’s up across the street if you keep getting ground outs.
Come on! Work the count!! 20 Ks, here we come!
Nice shot of Carlos in the blue top surrounded by the rest of the Cubs in their pinstripes.
The blue tops are slimming…
Carlos is going to need to wear more than one, then.
If Mel Hall Jr. continues to foul off two-strike pitches, I’ll just pull a Zambrano and peg his fat ass.
I’ve got this as a 13 pitch inning, right?
Hey, who’s the new guy? Not bad.
Pretty good start, no ?
3 up, 3 down.
And, because it’s relevant to point out in Kerry’s case, 13 pitch inning. That’s downright efficient for him.
Yeah, a good start, now let’s see you finish.
I am livid with those hicks at ESPN, livid I tell you! Who the hell do they think they are, messing with me, the World’s Greatest Fans, and the World’s Greatest Team??!!
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-larussa-all-stargame&prov=ap&type=lgns
Screw you, Kerry. Watch me mow down your lineup in 10 pitches or less.
Er, *after* I correct the spelling of my name.
Gonna take at least 6 pitches to get us out.
He’s back, bitches.
I’m black, bitches.
Rickie Weeks is on crack, bitches.
Neither of us bitches can handle these Wood pitches.
And you know what else? My jock itches.
If I had a mile for every pop out I’ve hit into, I’d cover more ground that than “Wild” Bill Holman has since January.
Wow…good things DO happen when you put the ball in play.
Nice warning track power. One pitch. I’m horrible.
At this rate, we could be 0-0 in the 11th. And Sheets will only have 97 pitches.
Dear Korey:
So glad that you’ve developed your own signiture infield out.
Neifi hits that one very well…to shallow right for an out.
And that’s 10! FY KW.
I just showed the first pitch to D Lee being right down the middle but a ball, was that the case?
That’s ok, Len. I was giving an extra base hit call on Neifi’s line drive, too, until I realized the wind blowing in from center field made me sound ridiculous.
HA! Sheets didn’t even manage ONE strikeout!
You call that pitching!?
What Bill said, sorta.
I called Neifi’s hit as a homer call at first also.
Would you fuckers forget about Chip already for fucks sake?
Swung on and BELTED!
I like those three-pitch K’s.
a ROCKET shot to third
Wheeee!!
My stuff looks nasty so far, female dogs.
25 pitches. 20 strikes. 5 balls. “Mechanics”! Ha! I fart in your general direction, Will Carroll.
What was the name of Chip’s college roommate who fired off an angry letter to Andy because we made such a sport of ripping Chip?
The best part of it was this guy, in defending Chip’s “originalness”, would describe wild collegian Chip sitting in his dorm room, watching hockey games with the sound turned off and practicing his play-by-play.
Creepiest. Image. Ever.
Fez and Dubois for Mark Kotsay, announcement after the game? Discuss.
…Kerry would have 100 pitches at the end of 8 innings.
I STILL AM LOOK FOR A BLACK MAN FOR SEX!!!!!!!!!DUNKAROO!!!!!
Someone mention horrible, painful mechanics?
Has anybody in the press yet asked Baker his rational for batting Corey and Neifi first? What a bunch of gutless hacks.
if that’s a real trade, I would do it in a heartbeat
I know this breaking ball! (this is that 20k one, remember?)
Um Cubs…I’m blowing in today…no need to come out of your shoes on every swing.
I believe he said Chip was calling those games into a hairbrush. I’ve got to look that up.
Why would Beane want Duboyz though? He’s a strikeout machine?
Jive or real?
Hey, Wind, have you seen fire?
Oh, “Hey Flash”, I speak jive.
He said that he’s in a great deal of pain and he would like you to shoot that Korey dead.
Found it.
https://www.desipio.com/2003/10/24/daily-dose-chip-carays-college-roomie-strikes-back/#comments
“In college, I remember him practicing by announcing Hockey games, Baseball games, etc. that were on TV…..with the volume turned all the way down.”
I did that, too.
When I was 7.
who is fez?
Nice to see him protecting Lee and A-Ram.
Rumor. San Jose sports radio, my sis gave me a ring, she heard it on her way in to work. They don’t seem to jive as much on the West coast radio as they do here or out east, so maybe there’s something to it?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Foreign Exchange Student = Sergio Meat-Tray
Hey Earth and Wind, I’m on my way to Des Moines, unless Sweaty Joe’s picked up off waivers.
What’s wrong with pretending to announce hockey games with the sound turned down on the TV? I do the play-by-play, and the little man that lives in my head does the color.
Is this why my wife had me committed?
How’s Walker supposed to protect Lee and Ram if he’s standing on second?!
See? If I have those guys at the top of the order, who would hit at the bottom?
Well Kerry, there’s your run, big fella.
Meat Tray = http://www.deli-heights.ca/Images/Meat%20Tray.jpg
I offered so much protection for ARam that he popped out on two pitches.
And then I doubled.
Not that, you know, it would be any more helpful for me to do that from the leadoff spot. Not IN FRONT of Lee, Ramirez, Burnitz. No siree.
Dusty’s a retard. Say it with me.
Anytime Michael Barrett wants to start hitting again, that would be fine with me.
I say bat Lee 9th, so he can protect everybody.
Me and Barrett set the table for the pitcher, Corey and Neifi.
Brilliant, no?
Give Carlos a bat and let him walk around “protecting” everybody
I got traded? Whew. I came into the clubhouse to take a dump and that little Jap was packing my stuff up in a box. I thought I was going to get to drive Joe to Des Moines.
Well, I was gonna, but since you were so smarmy about it, I think I’ll stink it up for a while longer.
32 pitches? You suck Sheets.
Dusty’s reasoning is actually not COMPLETELY insane.
Batting Walker behind ARam, that is.
But couldn’t he do it with Barrett (present slump notwithstanding.)?
Gotta go righty, lefty, righty, lefty, man.
I’m baaaaccccckkkkk.
Ahh, that’s more like it. Nice job, Kerry walk the worst hitter in the National League to lead off an inning. That won’t come back to haunt you.
Walk Mr. Sub-Mendoza. That’s the Kerry we all love!
Kotsay
Walker
Lee
Burnitz
Ram
Korey
Holly
Barrett
I like it
Did I just walk the worst hitter in the Brewers lineup? Whoops.
Bob just said, “Anybody with a bat in their hands is dangerous.”
He doesn’t watch my at bats anymore.
You guys need to cut me some slack.
Given the current guys in the lineup, there are 362,880 possible lineups.
My current lineup is about the 10,000th best.
Kerry was obviously more worried about Chad Molar and the pitcher
I can’t say that I “like” any lineup that features Todd Hollandsworth playing LF everyday. But it’s an improvement.
He’s back, bitches
I’m white bitches
I couldn’t hit my own weight bitches.
But I don’t have to swing at these pitches.
And you know what else? My sack itches.
Woah, dude. I’m gonna need somebody to protect Barrett in the lineup:
Corey
Neifi
Derrek
Jeromy
Ramirez
Walker
Barrett
Kotsay
Pitcher
Here is the optimal Cubs’ lineup:
Lee
Ramirez
Walker
Burnitz
Barrett
Hollandsworth
Pitcher
Neifi
Corey
It will take me to force Dustbag to switch around his lineup…for the better that is.
I just walked Hardy because he seems like a nice kid, and I was going to strike out the side.
Ho Ho Kamper,
I like your idea of a 3 man infield and 4-man outfield.
I have three homers, two against the Cubs and both with Andy sitting in section 322.
Hoooooooaaaaah!!!
Lee shouldn’t even be in that lineup, because, “he’s just not that good a player.”
What JJ said.
Come on Wood, you wuss, you’re supposed to knock those down!
I realized that my lineup did not include a shortstop…apparently, you need those:
Cedeno SS
Kotsay CF
Lee 1B
Burnitz RF
Ramirez 3B
Patterson LF
Walker 2B
Barrett C
When did we get so left-handed?
Trouble Brewin’!
Len, buddy, I’ve got this.
JJ Hardy is the first runner to reach third since Jermaine Dye did in the third inning on Saturday.
Umm dude…so who is going to play short stop, dude?
That last strikeout should actually count as two.
I was all happy that I got called up two weeks ago so I could miss Kerry’s rehab appearance against us in Nashville. Now the bastard followed me to Chicago. Go away!
the streak continues
Exactly what Bill said.
Derrek Lee joins Derek Jeter in my pantheon of Dereks who aren’t that good. My sliderule deems it to be so!
That last swing was almost as ugly as me. And I’m ugly…Real ugly.
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some Dereks are good at some things. I’d suggest that John Derek was pretty good at snatch catching.
Hey, I’m a stat-head GM and I love Jason Dubois. It’s not that far fetched that the A’s would be interested in a guy with plus power, can play left, first or DH and is four years away from arbitration.
Korey: 7 pitches, 2 outs, 1 K.
This is a recording.
One of these days I’m going to get tired of swinging at that pitch.
One of these days. Not today.
Hey Neyer, don’t forget about me? Remember that time, in 1998, I flailed away helplessly at a young Kerry Wood’s slider that broke 4 feet off of home plate? That was awesome.
That John Derek is a P-I-G, pig!
I am so lost up here, it’s not even funny. It’s disgusting as well as embarrassing watching me “hit”…especially from the leadoff spot.
You wanna go, pretty boy?
That had home run distance on another day. Hey I’m on first base. What do I do now?
I am the best porn star name of all time.
That’s funny, I thought I just say Neifi get thrown out trying to steal with two outs and the best hitter in baseball at the plate. I have got to get my eyes checked.
Dude, I’m just trying to get you going man. Then once you’re hot again, we’ll move you back to the 6 spot. That’s what the lead off spot is for, getting your struggling hitters more AB’s so they can work their way out of it.
Why did I just run with Lee up? Anybody? Ah Fuck…
Say…saw…I was in shock, I couldn’t type.
I am without speech.
Huh, that’s funny. What am I for again?
With the Hottest Hitter in Baseball batting? My god.
Kerry Wood and Bob Feller?
Was Corey me after that whiff?
Yes…I go cry now.
Ah, yes. I’m a fucker.
Let’s keep throwing Bill Hall fastballs. That’s a great idea. He hasn’t hit a curveball in three years, but why throw him that?
I’m over.
If I still existed in today’s game, Mell Hall Jr. and I would be close friends.
I’ve seen this movie. 52 pitches. 3+ innings. Long homers.
The box office is in a slump because they keep selling movies like Kerry Wood.
Go cry in DesMoines.
Because, Andy,
I’m not a very good catcher.
Or very smart.
I was catching last week when Hall hit Jerome’s fastball for two homers. But I forgot. You know, catching is very complicated. You have to remember stuff.
I don’t think Korey, dispite his recent struggles, would clear waivers.
This is what I think of your streak, fool!
I step on first! Then second! Then third! Then home! Boo-yah, motherpusser!
Hi Krissy! Smoooooooooooch.
That’s a problem how?
Three innings, two of us have reached. Yeah, Kerry’s really figured things out.
Kerry, while you were out, Bill Hall became the Black Jesus and started hitting everything inside within an inch of its life. He also turns water into Colt 45 Malt Liquor and gets free head in strip joints all over the mid-west. Be very careful with him.
Kerry Wood’s becoem a pussy like me.
99 MPH fastball but the failure to brush guys off the plate renders it irrelevant.
I think Bill Hall’s got a 6-inch divot at home plate from digging in. Doesn’t he look comfortable?
Yeah Michael, because I’m not allowed to shake you off or anything.
Can I get 6 outs on 8 more pitches? That’s what Prior did – 6 innings, 71 pitches.
Ignore the shut out part.
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Coming into the game, guys leading off an inning against Kerry had a .400 on base average and a .652 slugging percentage.
Mark Prior’s numbers: .221 on base average, .328 slugging percentage.
I wonder which guy’s pitching better?
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Todd Dunwoody.
In Barrett’s defense, he didn’t call for an inside fastball, that’s where Kerry threw it, though.
I suck. I haven’t hit a homer since yesterday.
If Duboyz and Meat-Tray gets you Kotsay, what does Meat-Tray and Korey get you?
Cramps.
Catch THAT one Jenkins! Ha ha ha!!!
Fine, I’ll do it if Derrek won’t.
Sammy who?
Kerry Wood is no Mark Prior, never was, never will be. Poor comparison. Were it not for the 20 K game masterpiece in 98, would people even THINK Wood was comparable?
He looks pretty good today, I’ll take Kerry as my #4 starter, no problem. But he ain’t no ace. The fact he gets paid $11MM a year to be a #4 starter is troublesome, but hey, it ain’t my money. And it’s a sunk cost.
Go get ’em, Krissy.
That’s how it’s done, Corey. Why don’t you try it for a games?
FYC!!!!
Huh? Oh…
UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW DAMMIT!!!
You won’t get away with this!
Do you know who my father is?
Hey buddy, Beer Nuts hits a few homers for you, OK buddy, but he’s no gladiator. I will take a team to the World Series myself. Granted, it will be while driving a tour bus of Arkansas retirees, but, hey–I resent the inference I am no longer your Gladiator! Not buddies!
I’m slumping a bit
Shiits up to 64 pitches. We may see bullpen in about 4 or 5 more outs.
Yeah, Corey, I shouldn’t hit leadoff. You insufferable prick.
I’m not
Just hanging out, here at the bottom of the lineup. Don’t mind me. Asshole.
Todd Walker hit that ball too hard. That’s why he got a double. Too much top spin.
It’s raining like a female dog in me. If I were Chicago, you’d have to start working right now. No telling when you’d let up either.
You can’t steal first base. And I don’t need to steal second.
I can’t steal 2nd either.
I’m apparently singing the Seventh Inning Stretch. Other than having a fairly successful mid-90s sitcom that had decent ratings in Chicago, what other ties do I have here again? What city is this?
Unless I’ve changed my mind and let rain travel East to West, why do I care if its raining in nap town?
I know I’m not leading off. I’m batting at the bottom of the order while Ty Cobb and Honus Wagner… aka Corey Patterson and Neifi Perez… set the table for Derrek Lee.
Really, I’m hitting .315 BA with .360 OBP and .830 OPS, it’s not like I should hit 2nd or anything in front of Derrek Lee. I mean, Neifi and K-Patt are such obvious talents, Dusty is much smarter than every other person in baseball.
Asshole.
Hey, Ben Sheets has thrown more pitches than Wood…
Hey T-Walk,
If you weren’t such a sore ass, I might listen to you.
Get a better attitude dude.
I was just saying that we’re lucky that… eh, nobody cares what I say any way. I’m a dumbass. A sopping wet dumbass.
Shut up Todd, at least you get to play.
Todd, you know my methods. I like to bat short guys who are fast (or in Neifi’s case appear to be fast) at the top of the lineup to set the table, regardless of how good they actually are. Oh, and no white guys can hit higher than 4th, otherwise they’ll bat too many times and get heatstroke.
Hey Todd, you should go over to the Cub Reporter sometime. The folks who post commentsover there absolutely love Dusty. “He brought the city a division title!” “He has the second highest winning percentage among active managers!” (I love this one) “Batting order doesn’t make a significant difference!”
Prior had 71 through 6; I’ve got 71 through. Not bad. Now calm the fuck down, Chuck.
have I been announced yet?
Am I Jerome Williams or the G-Unit?
I saw 71 pitches one season.
If I invent a time machine, go back in time two weeks, and kill Bill Hall, the Cubs would come into this game 7 games over 500, tied with Atlanta for the Wild Card lead, and they’d have an ongoing 40+ inning scoreless streak in the works, this game included. Do I have that right?
Hey KW,
How are you going to throw 0 pitches to get three outs. I am superior!
Bring back Jim Riggleman!
Hey Korey i saw 18 pitches in one at bat. Then I did what you try to do every swing.
Hi, I’m Greg Evigan! You may remember me from BJ and the Bear, and My Two Dads? Greg! Evigan! Greg Evigan!
I was on “My Two Das”
Puka Boy pitches Friday. G Unit is in the bullpen. K-Patt and Neifi willl start and bat 1-2 in the order. We now return you to your regular programming.
I’m bout to go Sheffield on this hunky.
Ahem. DaDs. Forgot the second D.
Ditka’s a phony by the way. I’m the true face of that crappy rfranchise.
I say the Cubs bring back the great Cubs manager of the mid 80s…
Williams is starting Friday.
Was that really me out there?
I’m changing my name from Korey
A 10 pitch walk? It’s the bign one, Elizabeth!
More susprising than Woods’ relative efficiency thus far has been the Cubs’ demonstrating that rare ability to drive up Ben Sheet’s pitch count. He’s closing in on 90 and we’re not even into the 6th.
Holy shit. Did Patterson just walk on a count that WASN’T 3-0, and it was, in fact, a “payoff pitch”, 3-and-2?
I’m speechless.
even if I’m aK, I’m good for the team. A 10 pitch walk though? Shoot! Korey, take the rest of the day off.
Dusty Baker has been blessed with a talented team to manage ever since he got here. Only a moran would blindly compare the Cubs of the last 3 years with the Cubs of, say, the early 1990s and say “see? Dusty’s a better manager!”
Korey just walked, on a 10-pitch at bat. Read that again, as the Sports Guy would say.
[img]http://65.200.22.120/photos/tvseries/2dads/2dads1.jpg[/img]
Greg! Evigan!
Patterson walked?
Huh? Patterson walked?? Against Ben Sheets?
Am I pitching Saturday then if Williams goes Friday? With an extra day of rest?
Rats.
Patterson walked ans stole second, but don’t worry, Neifi! is here to kill the opportunity.
I’m a 10 pitch double.
Don’t forget my roles in Hamburger: The Movie and Johnny Dangerously
Now Neifi, just try and lean into one.
At this point, why not bat me first? It’s not like I ever bat with men on base anyway.
Intrepid Reader: Desipiots
June 29th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Bring back Jim Riggleman!
Yeah, I’m not done punching him yet!
Pepsi gray t-shirt day? Ooh, there’s a quality giveaway.
How about Desipio dirty t-shirt day?
There are some fine ones on display today at Wrigley. Hello!
Please God, smite thou Neifi! with thine bold lightning stroke. He hath sinned against thee with his pact with Beelzebub. Revenge is thine, cleanse thy Earth and slay the sinner. Like, now, he’s killing our lineup, dude. Thanks.
Anyone want to guess what I set KW’s pitch limit at?
Everyday is Desipio dirty t-shirt day!
This game would be so much easier if it was legal to get the first batter of each inning out.
Bill Hall is doing me as you speak.
What’s the worst thing about getting released by the Cubs?
They made me keep my season tickets.
I know, it’s an old Ken Reitz joke.
Who saw me coming?
Now batting, Bill Hall!
I will be Kerry’s last.
Not yet, Billy.
Glendon, take me away!
Yo, I got my Super Bowl Ring, bitches! Someone call Wanny so I can show him what one looks like!
http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-kraftsring&prov=ap&type=lgns
Apparently, the Cubs want to Rusch from bad to Weurtz.
The Cubs have some interns spraying the fans in the box seats with what is either water, or Thompson’s Deck Sealer.
Anyone else out there who doesn’t want to see Wood face Bill Hall this inning?
I’ve got two! Just none where Jimmy Johnson wasn’t making all of my decisions for me.
Now would be a good time for the old number one, right inside!
Right size, wrong shape!
Great, now it’s time for Bill “Too Big” Hall.
YOU NEED TO HIT THAT FCKR IN THE FACE, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, we’re spraying the fans with Scope. There was a big bottle of it in the Front Office.
It’s hot, I’ve got to get the whiteys out of this game.
Crap! I wanted to take him out!
Rusch and Wuetz are warming up.
Something tells me my pitch count is around 90.
You’re supposed to spray them with mace, and then hit them with clubs. Amateurs.
And if that’s the last image we have of Kerry Wood in a Cubs uniform (for the day) what a great memory he’s left us with.
(I know, it’s my line about Michael Jordan’s jumper to win Game 6 in 1998, but I’m an overreactive nincompoop.)
Actually not to bad for a first outing
91 pitches 9 Ks 6 innings
I smell a rally “brewing”, haha!! I’m such a sardonic wit.
Intrepid Reader: Andy
June 29th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
The Cubs have some interns spraying the fans in the box seats with what is either water, or Thompson’s Deck Sealer.
Instead of Interns spraying fans with water, how about our fans spraying our interns, like the Rally Lace…
and the Rally Carp…
with water?
Intern, where’s my Scope!?!
Hey Prior –
I can have a one run lead after 6 innings, too.
Mine’s just a bit scarier.
From today’s Ivy Chat
“Wood’s history suggests that 6 innings, 71 pitches and 1 hit shout-out ball is not what’s going to be on display. More like 4 innings of 3 run, 4 walk ball is what we’ll get to see.”
Up your ass, Chuck, you misnathropic, bitter cur.
That’s how you lead off, Korey
6 IP, 2 hits, 1 ER, 9 K’s, 91 pitches. Outstanding return for Wood, I’m impressed, even if it is the Brewers. I think I pull him and turn it over to Novoa, Wuertz and Dempster.
Hey! I got a hit!
Hey! I got a hit! On the Blog!
Nice job by Kerry. He apparently didn’t get the memo that the Cubs weren’t going to allow a run until the All-Star Break, but that was an excellent effort. He’s done, right? OK, maybe not.
So, Korey’s got FYC. Kerry’s got, UYAC?
Who are the almost 400,000 dumbasses who have voted for Doug Eyechart?
Atta way to run the bases, Derrek!
Did Reiser channel Seinfeld?
“Aw, that’s a shame.”
I am in the Brewers Radio booth, Right.
Hey Moises, what did Derrek do?
See, it’s OK to make the second out at third base. Though this is inane, because who wouldn’t want one out and a runner at second?
Only the Cubs could successfully start the runner to avoid a double play, only to run into a double play.
We are!
Derrek was on the move when Burnitz grounded to short, Lee rounded second and thought he could beat any of the Brewers to third, but didn’t.
To the witty poster with the Funk and Wagnall’s by his laptop….love the “bitter cur” bit, outstanding!! Why’d you ruin it by mispelling “misanthropic”? Meh.
Morpheus–
5-3-6
Burnitz’ dribbler to third, Lee never hesitated going from first to third but Overbay made a nice throw to Hall who ran to cover the bag.
Thanks Moises… I can see why you’d be proud!
My bad. Hardy Boy covered third.
Thanks to you too Mike D…
What happens when some of our pitchers come back down to earth and we still score 2 runs a game? Oh yeah…we start to lose again.
Ever since I hit that grand slam I’ve been trying to swing outta my shoes..
LOL!
Your name is Kerry Wood
Am I at third base today? Did I get my old job back? Lots of “aggression” on the basepaths today, I must be working my magic.
Atta boy, Glendon. Way to put a damper on Woody’s return.
See, today the losing streak starts.
How many times have I left the game with the Cubs in the lead?
Hey Dusty –
Don’t pull me for Wuertz tomorrow.
WHAT A RUSCH!
Aggression on the basepaths leads to suffering, it does.
Wood pitches a good game. Gets no run support. Bullpen loses it for him. Good times.
What’d Aramis do anyway?
It’s home run or nothing!
I’ve done nothing all day.. i think korey touched me or something..I have whatever he has..
How’s that Dubois + Mitre for Kotsay rumour coming along? Anything?? Need offense.
I get to pitch against Livan Hernandez Friday
Can I pitch against some turd-hurler this week instead of Cy Young Candidates?
Will we ever find a lefty who can get lefties out?
Yeah, because I am the answer. Cubs bats will continue to stink with, or without me.
Yeah, Kent Mercker.
No.
Nope.
Umm, yeah, but I’m busy doing the rally carp from behind.
We only seem to be able to lead the Brewers for half of the series.
Unfortunately it seems to be the first half.
Good thing I’m offering up so much protection for ARam.
Now excuse me while I lead off an inning and show that numbskull Baker a thing or two.
Who’s Rich Hall?
Somebody shoot me.
And somebody euthanize this two-bit gimmick.
Did I do sniglets??
At least I looked thoroughly ashamed of myself.
See, Todd can’t lead off!
Unfortunately, the Cubs must now score a run off the vaunted Brewers’ bullpen.
Gameday 2005 says that Michael Barrett just had a foul bunt. That can’t be right, can it?
Hey, I’ll vaunt our bullpen any day! We have Rusch and Mitre in there now! Goooooo BULLPEN!
This offense sucks, and continues to be clueless at the plate.
Some FYC heroics in the bottom of the 8th, it is written.
Morph-
Indeed it was. Santo was taking him behind the woodshed for basically conceding to the pitcher that “I can’t hit right now”.
He’s liable to hit a home run. The fact that he’s thinking about bunting is a sign that his mental state is heading down to Koreyland.
Will I continue to suck. Through mid-June, I was looking like Joe Borowski v.2002. I’ve lately begun looking like Jon Leicester from April.
What? Rusch can’t go two innings?
Michael was trying to get on in front of Glendon.
Yoda, you sound more like me. So shall it be written, so shall it be done.
What would Corey hit if he took an approach like Brady Clark? You know shorten up his swing, use the middle of the ballpark, leg out some hits? Nah, that’s just crazy.
Come inside with that heat, Wuertzy.
Oh God, not Bill Hall…
You like it when my picture freezes? God we’re a low rent little TV channel.
This is going from bad to Wuertz, hehehehe……..
I never get old. NEVER!
Oh, man. Not Ohman.
Anytime you can bring the great Will Ohman into a game with it on the line, now that’s a moment you must seize.
Excuse me while I have a seizure.
What? I’m out? You have to be kidding me. Do you know who the F*&# i am?
I’m coming for ya, Geoff.
The word of the day is…atrocious!
Will I get to pinch-hit for Wuertz in the 8th with a chance to homer? Or have I been traded? Or will Dustbag just send Macias up there and mail it in?
Must include “mangy” to be quality/
Well, I suppose he’s due. After crapping his pants in the Bronx and Milwaukee, that is.
Has he done anything since he struck out thCliff Floyd 6 weeks ago? Seems he’s been hanging his hat on that one all year.
For LF:
How about getting Carlos Lee back to town. Nah…
Hey Mike, I haven’t done anything since I struck out Jason Giambi in 2003. And come think of it, neither has Jason.
HA! Lee isn’t going anywhere…but if you could just move anyone you wanted tot he Cubs, he’s not a bad option. He does speak the language
Hah! My pants are poopless!
Suh weet.
Attaboy, Ohman. I knew you’d do it. I never doubted you.
The Word of the Day is ThreepitchK
I no like Carlos Lee. He hit my neck.
Right on Mike D… we all knew he’d come through!
VAUNT!
Hey Rem,
Aside from the Giambi K, you also recorded a Save in Game #3 of the NLCS that year.
You know, after Luis Castillo’s brilliant baserunning.
Blind. Squirrel. Acorn. These are your words for the day.
YOUR 2007 CHICAGO CUBS!!!
The Northern Division All-Star roster was set earlier today and the West Tenn Diamond Jaxx secured a Northern Division high seven players for the upcoming Southern League All-Star Game, to be played on July 13th at Hank Aaron Stadium in Mobile, Alabama. The Diamond Jaxx players named to the All-Star game include SS Buck Coats, former Jaxx closer Talley Haines, 3B Casey McGehee, OF Matt Murton, RHP Ricky Nolasco, OF Felix Pie and RHP Andy Shipman.
FYMD.
YOUR 2007 CHICAGO CUBS!!!
The Northern Division All-Star roster was set earlier today and the West Tenn Diamond Jaxx secured a Northern Division high seven players for the upcoming Southern League All-Star Game, to be played on July 13th at Hank Aaron Stadium in Mobile, Alabama. The Diamond Jaxx players named to the All-Star game include SS Buck Coats, former Jaxx closer Talley Haines, 3B Casey McGehee, OF Matt Murton, RHP Ricky Nolasco, OF Felix Pie and RHP Andy Shipman.
Am I availble today. Boy I am happy that I got into that inning on Saturday with a 4-run lead.
pardon the large double-post
This leadoff stuff is easy. Dusty, make a note.
Come on. Give us FYC 3.5.
Hey Corey,
After you waste my leadoff walk, go clean the windows on the Greyhound bus I just arrived from Des Moines in.
Your new leadoff hitter…Ronny Cedeno!
Damn Corey, this getting on base shit is easy.
Damn Corey, this getting on base shit is easy.
Pain is watching Corey try to sac bunt, yet treat it like he’s bunting for a hit.
Yahoo game line says Will Ohman batted, and walked? Huh??
Do I have any speed?
Not Ohman. Me.
When Santo rips you, you really suck.
From now on I want to be known as Boo Patterson so I can pretend I’m receiving lots of support.
If I strike out, that’s just as good as a sac bunt right?
That should put things in stark contrast for Dusty. Thanks Korey!
How much longer will Jim Hendry allow this?
what did santo say?
Now, ready to steal?
“leadoff” hitters be able to, you know, bunt?
Flickering gently.
What the hell is this guy doing on base when I’m hitting?
The thing is, Jim Hendry shouldn’t have to step in and “not allow this”…Dusty should bench Corey right now. I don’t care who he puts in center. This is absurd.
Neifi and Korey are a combined 1-for-7 today with 1 walk. I think that makes them 1-for-15 with 1 walk in the last three games. Is that bad?
Sosa: .239 BA
Patterson: .239 BA
Korey is the next gladiator! Yes, that’s it!!
…will cost Baker his job eventually, just like that one coach early in Sosa’s career predicted Sosa would.
“He’s gonna get us all fired”
Can’t rememebr who that was. Tony Muser?
Leadoff walk and he never leaves first base. Now that’s quality baseball.
I have a bad feeling about this.
The Cubs have never met me.
Chuck,
You’ve probably got this in a spreadsheet somewhere, so I figured you’re the guy to ask.
What are the numbers on the Daily Dribbles since Patterson and Neifi went 1-2 before last Wednesday’s game?
Chuck,
You’ve probably got this in a spreadsheet somewhere, so I figured you’re the guy to ask.
What are the numbers on the Daily Dribble since Patterson and Neifi went 1-2 before last Wednesday’s game?
Oops.
About this, you have a bad feeling, you mean to say.
Tie game, ninth inning. What do we do to juice the listeners?
Have Ron read a FAX.
Roberto “Super” Novoa…come to blow the place up!
My arms are stubby like a t-rex.
Hey Ronnie,
It’s not like I want to know what the fuck’s going on in the game, asshole. Shut the fuck up.
I’m baaaaccckk.
How much you want to bet the Brewers leadoff walk scores?
Don’t have it for the whole time. But the last 4 games had them at:
AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO AVG OBP SLG OPS
32 3 4 0 0 1 2 1 10 .125 .152 .219 .371
Has anyone seen my can of gas?
I’ve decided that my recent futility at the plate is due to the fact that I have no protection in the lineup.
Neifi an All-Star? Puh-leeze
Game tied here in game six of the World Series, bases loaded, one out the Cubs clinging to a 4-3 lead. Hey, did you know This Old Cub, a movie made by Ron Santo’s son Jeff will be airing on WGN-TV this weekend?
JJ Hardy is auditioning to be a Cub.
Shit!
I’m going yard, then I’m serving you pancakes!
I bunt better than J J Hardy Boys
You pop up better than I do.
Please don’t throw him fastballs
if Novoa holds em, I think we win in the bottom of the inning
I’d make a good Cub, too.
Question: why didn’t Baker leave Cedeno in to play short put the pitcher in Neifi’s spot?
Prince Fielder is not me.
Answer: Cedeno is not a proven veteran.
Question: why didn’t Baker leave Cedeno in to play short put the pitcher in Neifi’s spot?
I can do that?
I thought that this was gas that I brought out here…
I’m up in the bullpen, bitches!
Oh, just relax! They’re even worse than we are!
E-ramis hit a homer, let’s go home.
Mike D, I have the combined duo (From last Wednesday through today) at 8-for-57, 21 K, 3 BB.
Your not-so-happy totals since Baker put Laurel & Hardy 1-2 (6 games + today):
57 At Bats
7 Hits
6 Runs
3 BB
15 K
Wow. I mean, ummm, wow.
That’s a robust .140 average, with OBP of .183.
World Series, here we come!
Top of the 9th…this was my stage…miss me yet?
I must’ve double counted somewhere…
It’s time to go home in 5…4…3…2…
Yeah, Kotsay wouldn’t help us at all.
Farnsworth for Novoa are a prime example of us. Hendry should be in handcuffs.
When I walk, E-ramis isn’t going to try to bunt is he?
Not batting 8th I wouldn’t.
I go home at 7:30. T-ball tonight for the 5 year old.
Green light, Ronnie?
Untie me, you big, bald f&*#!
Novoa was a steal and so was the trade for Jose Macias! That Jim Hendry, he ought to be ILLEGAL! I can’t believe anybody will trade with him!
It’s…hero time.
Four pitches, 4 balls. A-Ram better take #1.
I’d have Ramirez bunt here.
Nice fucking AB, A-RAm.
That’s awful. Santana throws four straight bad ones, and E-ramis swings at the first pitch. Jeezus, make a guy throw a strike.
Get ready to run Jeromy. Fast.
Actually it’s 17 K’s, not 15, from Daily Dribble since Wednesday. Just awful.
Let me tell you something folks. Whenever the pitcher throws 4 straight balls to lead off an inning, it’s always a good idea for the next hitter to swing at the first pitch.
The Cubs team is so well coached! I just love the approach they have at the plate!
When does my AmEx commercial debut with me extolling how great of a “team” this Chicago ballclub is?
We love it too.
I’ve come to put the Flying Forearm on the Cubs…
I’ve come to put the Flying Forearm on the Cubs…
Sorry, I left a couple innings early to get a table at Bernies.
I have, at least, a clue.
I swing at first pitch fastballs after a four pitch walk all the time. Well, only when there’s the little red circle on my screen.
That’s in MVP 2005, BTW.
Bottom of the 9th, this used to be my stage. Miss me yet?
Watch me win the game!
YEah, it’s a good idea to keep Todd at the bottom… what protection!!!
So far my Moises baserunning streak has ended at two. So far.
Nice job by me of not getting forced on that liner to Clark when the ump was slow to show he’d trapped it.
Damn, too bad Burnitz couldn’t make third.
If he had pulled off the braindead Moises act and just kept running, he would be, but it would be a dumb play still.
Hollandsworth = Hero
Ah, who needs Kotsay?
Thank you, Holly.
G’night y’all. That was actually fun for once.
Thank you, Holly.
G’night y’all. That was actually fun for once.
Ahh, who sez we need Kotsay?
That’s a 4-game winning streak, female doges
It’s a good thing you leave the Todds at the bottom of the order, otherwise we’d have had to have done this in the eighth.
FYAndy! That was my line.
Fuckin’a Holly.
That’s why I keep my white guys near the bottom of the order.
The new top of the batting order.
And I get to go tomorrow to see them try to add one for the thumb.
If the Todds batted any higher they woulda been too tired from clogging up the bases all game to pull that one out in the ninth.
Great now we can kick back and wait out the bogus Kotsay trade rumor!
Walker
Hollandsworth
Lee
Burnitz
Ramirez
Korey
Cedeno
Barrett
Was there me?
Oh, I almost forgot about Kotsay…thanks Andy…I will begin holding my breath………
….. Now
That’s four runs allowed in the last our games. Considering Poi Dog’s relief appearance and his imminent insertion into the rotation, that’s merely one time through our starting five.
Good times.
Beer Nutz scored standing up.
Andy, if you’re still there, would you mind posting any news of a trade on your site for us poor shlubs stuck at work until 5pm (Pacific)?
I’ll be there for Maddux’s 8th Win tomorrow.
So will my son for his first game at Wrigley. 4 years old tomorrow.
Chuck, bring in win No. 5 tomorrow. I’ll be sure to lose my house Friday betting on Prior to shut down the Nats.
We’re not so good on the road, TJ. Bet the house.
Eamus,
I prefer to look at it as Maddux’s 313th win. And that’s a great age, 4 years old, to see Wrigley Field for the first time.
I passed Don Baylor on the most HBP’s list today. Chip weeps for me. He’s so sensitive, he hates to see pitchers hit me.
Teej:
I offered you tickie, you passed and chose craps and free drinks from women with massive cleavage.
How’d you get so lucky?
So were the Astros and Rockies, Nats. And the Cubs strung a 2-game home losing streak playing those two titans.
Hey Chuck, looks like Rob Neyer has been drinking your (our) kool-aid. In his chat today, he said: Despite my dire predictions, somehow the Cubs have played well enough to hang around in the Wild Card race. And IF Prior and Wood are both healthy after the All-Star Game, I think they’ve actually got a shot. And if they can actually get Corey Patterson out of the lineup, all the better…
I have a very cool wife I guess. Friday afternoon, I’m driving to LA and that night, I’ll be at Chavez Ravine to see Brad Penny take on Cy Young Award candidate TBA. I’ll be relatively close to the Dodger dugout, so hopefully the crippled Gabor Bako will be there. I’ll give him all your best.
Kid’s excited beyond belief.
He’s been reading that “Wrigley Field A to Z” picture book the Cubs’ Wives made.
Great preparation material.
8th Row by the Brewers’ bullpen.
Look for the kid with the “It’s my first Cub game” sign.
The Cubs haven’t been us since the 9th inning of Friday’s game.
4 was when I got my first taste of Wrigley…saw Holtzman in his 9-0 year…
He’s been reading that “Wrigley Field A to Z†picture book the Cubs’ Wives made.
Great preparation material. ”
I was at Costco last September and the illustrator of that book was there, signing copies. It was right around the time of my niece’s (and one of my goddaughters) fourth birthday, so it made a perfect gift. He signed the book and we both took a minute to rip on Sosa. Good times.
If there’s a trade, Ho Ho Kamper, I or any number of us will begin a post frenzy.
Personally, I think Beane will hang onto Kotsay until the Yankees have had some more time to panic. I think Preston Wilson is this year’s Orlando Cabrera, the guy Hendry knows he can get, and what he can get him for, but wants to wait for something better.
Here’s hoping that the Yanks go through with the Cameron/Sheffield deal.
Mike:
There’s two A-Z books. One is by the wives. Another is by a friend of my step-dads. This one is great. Just read it to the 5 Year Old last night (he chose it – how cool is that!).
Only downside: Forward by Chipy.
That’s the one, Chuck, although that must be a second printing as I recall the one I got had a different cover.
And the fact that my version was autographed by the illustrator nullified the fact that the forward was soiled by Chip Caray.
Whoever posted that Mike + the Mechanics picture is now my enemy. Sure, they sucked balls, but no band that has ever featured the sublime Paul Carrack on keys and vox should ever be mocked.
Take my word as gospel. For I am the Baseball God.
This is the one the Cub Wives did … for Kids
Supposedly the Wives did the illustrations.
The wives were signing the book at the Tuesday Night game vs Toronto. 6/7/05
If I was in the bullpen at the end of the game, throwing,
I say that crushes any potential deal involving me today, no?
Leave Carrack alone! I should be the one mocked, for leaving Mr. Collins and Mr. Banks, to play with these goons.
I don’t think those are the same book. Maybe they are but if they’re not, and Chip did the foreward to both, that’s just ridiculous. What a colostomy bag.
K.D., Let me present you version 2.0 of bad, painful mechanics:
And we’ll let Paul Young rest in peace.
Apex:
Author of book 1: Fred Klein
Author of book 2: Cubs’ Wives
My limited reading skilz say different books.
Fred Klein is the one on the right.
Forgot about Paul Young. He didn’t suck balls either. The production is dated as hell, but I have a soft spot for blue-eyed soul guys.
As for Kerry, yikes.
See, if you wrote children’s books you could get a hot babe like I did. Chicks dig guys who pretend to like little kids.
thanks, KD
Actually that’s me on the right.
I wrote the book with a bunch of other gold diggers.
WTF. his arm is broken in that picture. LIT er a lee
The illustrator of “For Love of the Cubs” grew up a block away from me in a small town in southeast Iowa.