Pitching Matchup
Brewers: Old Gimpyfinger 10-4, 3.39 ERA
Cubs: The Lawnmower 14-10, 3.95 ERA
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Pitching Matchup
Brewers: Old Gimpyfinger 10-4, 3.39 ERA
Cubs: The Lawnmower 14-10, 3.95 ERA
got salad?
Z better have his shit together tonight. The Shitbirds face Oswalt tonight, there’s a good chance to shave 2 off the magic number.
Watch it, Fork. You are talking about our Number Five starter
Rich Hill – no longer the Dumbass Du Jour. Yay! I was actually starting to feel sorry for him.
Working the late shift here at work, Ogdens, which means I’m at the mercy of MLB Gamecast (no TV, no radio–although I think i’m gonna hafta put a radio in my cube for the stretch run). In other words, I appreciate any help in offering descriptions of unusual plays and/or plays that deserve added description. I’m thanking ya’ll in advance. Go Cubs.
Carlos better be bringing me tonight!
prince fielder has me.
Sorry Mike, I’m with Leather and Ron, tonight. You know how useful my input is going to be tonight. Geez!
“Chicago Cubs baseball is on the air!”
Brave!
BRAAAAAAAVVVVEEEE!!!
Slam-duh-nuh-nuh let boys be boys
who’s hurt?
prnce fielder hs me
Okay, injury delay after the first batter.
Little help?
Floyd caught a ball and slammed into the wall. It knocked the wind out of him, but he stayed in.
thanks ryan
I’m hungry
I’m fucking Zambrano already.
… feel me.
ha funny stuff..probably true
Looks like the Cubs already doing a good job of drivign up Sheets’ pitch count. Even 1-pitch Fonzie made him throw 5.
Good omen.
bad ohman
hitters are squaring up on Sheets
Do I smell hot dogs? I really like hot dogs.
Sheets keeps looking at his finger after every pitch. Either that or he’s flipping off the Cubs after every pitch in response to Carlos’ strikeout dance.
Faster than the speed of ball.
Shit. I smoked that.
You’re making me hungry.
If you’re smokin’ least you could do is hook me up brudda…
I’ll trade you pancakes
Gundam.
Carlos ain’t gettin’ shit tonight bitches.
I hit the shit out of that one. Almost eight feet.
Honestly, Kendall should just stop throwing. Every time he does it’s an extra base.
Whoa, why is Hart out? Didn’t Theriot get called out on a play like that a week ago?
I got to show off my cannon there, too. I’m an artist in the outfield, I call that one, exaggerated rainbow!
Isn’t. “Why isn’t Hart out?”
in 5..4..3..2…
What a shit arm.
Bob’s talking about horses incessantly. I’m gonna saddle up.
Great question. He wasn’t in the box. Fucked in the ass again.
Sorry about that.
I’m thinking Kendall just oughta receive the ball and curl up into the fetal position on top of home plate. That’s probably the only way they won’t score on his erratic noodle arm.
No meltdown tonight beetches.
I show no plate discipline.
Batting or eating.
Fuck! I leave for one day and they take the goddamn team picture?
I sure coulduse a 6-pitch inning one of these frames.
36 pitches after two. Yowsers.
How’d you like me posing on a ball that got all the way to the warning track?
In, guys. The wind is blowing in. Adjust accordingly.
Eating? Did somebody say eating?
I’m really fooling these guys tonight.
I’m going for 4!
Wow. Johnny Estrada throws like a girl. Makes Kendall look like Hank.
I can’t throw either.
Cubs clockwork offense tick tick tick
I’m on tonight. 3-0 Houston in the second.
We love leading off innings. We do it all the time.
Sheets popped up a bunt with two strikes and Kendall caught it. Len and Bob are wondering if it’s a strikeout or a popout. I think it’s a pop out. I think it’s a K if it hits the ground, but an out if it’s caught.
I mean a pop-out if it’s caught.
I know, I know. Who gives a shit, he’s out.
I’m going to fuck Z too.
Hah! I was right.
Nice play by Lee there to end the inning, too.
That kid has popcorn. Man, I wonder if he’ll give me some.
I have a fantasy football draft in 2 hours someone call me and wake me up if I fall asleep
Jason Kendall still records me
I just got demolished thanks to you, Prince. Thanks a lot…
Infield singles in back to back games for Carlos. He’s got wheels.
That’s our 91 million dollar man!
Slugger Zambrano.
I was just wondering aloud if Carlos was about to start a rally here.
Nice bunt, Theriot. You shitbag. How hard is it?
Well, Theriot’s failed bunt only cost us two runs.
Make that one.
WTF was Soriano doing not sliding into third? If Braun would have gotten his lazy ass closer to the bag he’d have tagged him out.
Look what I did coach! Me no slide!
If Soriano had made me at 3rd base, I would have been awful pissed.
Apparently sliding was not on Alfonso’s “things they need to see me do before I play” list.
Why was Fonsi advancing? And not sliding?
That would have been a new way not to score.
I was told there would be “courtesy runners.”
OK, Carlos. Go get ’em.
4-0 Astros now, bottom 3.
We were really bouncing there. That’s just not healthy.
My hair is ridiculous. I look like one of the Monkees.
one run won’t win me.
is the governor?
Bob said, of Braun’s four K’s in two games, “The Cubs have found a hole and they’re going right at it.”
They call that “The Edmonds.” For more reasons than one.
Get ready Prince! I’m bunting again!
Good Morning Good Afternoon Good Night
GAY!
Clutch pitching there by Carlos. Double. Strikeout. Strikeout. Triple.
Guh.
shit
Hey, Linebrink! How hard was that?
I AM the Brewers’ offense. Why didn’t Z pitch around me with a base open and John Estrada on deck?
I hate Cory Heart, his neandrathal looks and scraggly ass wannabe beard. I heard he gets Paul Konerko’s rejects.
Corey Hart is me but he all the Brewers’ RBI in this series.
never guess which two teams are playing on me today..not in a million years
55 through three. Better get that bullpen tuned up, Ned.
Rally time.
I am either Johnny’s ugly wife, or Johnny’s ugly kid. Fear my probable hideousness and voracious appetite.
Occasionally my constant stream of 4-3 putouts come in handy.
Bob just described Jock’s ground out with “You can’t do that any better than this.”
Well, I agree Jock’s the best at it. But what the fuck?
Happy Birthday Hank!
Nobody hits more useless flyballs than the Cubs. Except when there are two outs and a runner on third. Then, they are no where to be found.
Where’s my fan club birthday update, female doges!?
The infield in never works. Til now.
I would be of use with 2 outs and a runner on third? I suppose if they fell into the seats.
Sure, Carlos hits the deep fly out.
Oh, shaddap. You know what I meant.
Or you would have if I’d typed it correctly.
I can’t wait until after the game to meet Corey Hart. Wearing one sleeve longer than the other is our code for a quick salad-tossing session in the bathroom at Murphy’s.
Pat keeps giving these warning track shots the excited home run call treatment. Tease.
Yeah. I caught a fly ball. But I’m still a loser.
Much ado…
Hey. I’m now the Dodgers’ #4 starter. You may see me next week in Wrigley (if you’re lucky).
There have been five of us tonight.
I have the gayest batting stance in the history of baseball.
Yeah, we don’t come with none or one out and a runner on third – we know what you meant.
107, yes SD. Pat’s fucking killing me. I need a drink.
That was dumb.
Mine is gayer. Mine’s Larry Craig gay.
And that’s why you’ll never be anything more than Craig Counsell.
Larry’s not gay. Gay is in the ass. Like steroids.
No, wait. He’s gay.
Yeah. Hit him again.
Rickie Weeks has perfected the Jason Kendall, how to turn into a pitch pretending to avoid it.
Rickie Weeks needs to back the f*ck off the plate.
Fuck you, Weeks! Next time I hit you in head!
Next time go for his skull.
Wouldn’t that be considered “the Craig Biggio?”
Carlos is playing with me.
See those? Those are called two out hits with runners in scoring position.
What the fuck? Cliff couldn’t throw that ball 80 feet in the air to DeRosa?
Why can’t we do that?!
BTW, Ron just dropped his first “GOSH!” bomb on us tonight.
You all still trust me in a playoff game, right?
I am a fucking idiot.
I still can’t recruit. The few non-talented humps that do commit to play for the dUI can’t read & write or damn-near kill their teammates.
Pass the Patron.
Cue mouthbreathing shot.
Why do I think walking Prince to get to Braun might be a tad foolish?
I’m winded from throwing out Counsell earlier in the inning.
Or, perhaps not.
No kidding.
Plus we’re getting shut down by a pitcher who should still be on the DL.
God this offense is pathetic.
Think the Cubs will get any of me now that Sheets is going through the lineup the third time?
Al just swung at a pitch that bounced about eight feet in front of the plate.
Hating Soriano gets easier and easier all the time.
Two leads and I can’t hold either of them. I’m gonna be frustrating over the length of this big-ass contracts. The Cubs had better make the playoffs or they would’ve been better off trading me.
STOP SWINGING AT THE FIRST FUCKING PITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gameday shows Fonsi swinging at a pitch completely out of the fucking view. Nice.
Take a look at Soriano’s numbers at Wrigley this year. That’ll make you hate him even more.
Great. Made him throw a whopping eight pitches that inning.
Gotta love how Len preaches pitch counts and the Three Dufuses at the plate go down on 8.
Douchebaggers.
Dude, I’ve got nothing tonight. It’s a good thing the Cubs’ offense is absolute dogshit.
I hate Cory Provus. In fact, he makes me blind with rage. Is there something wrong with me?
Good God, .250 at home!
Jim Hendry’s legacy is going to be me hating to see number 12 for 10 consecutive years.
I’m a huge douchebag, 1.) because I’ve never played for a winning team, and 2.) Because I spell my name G-e-o-f-f
Maybe Big will get locked in and toss a 170 pitch complete game?
When did I become the Brewers pitching coach?
I’ll never surrender, because I wear my sunglasses at night.
Ben Sheets is gnawing on that finger in the dugout like a guy who would prefer to leave after five innings and let the media talk about what a gutty effort he gave.
Big Z, that is. You know what the fuck I mean.
Paging Scott Linebrink, Scott Linebrink to the mound please…
Chuck don’t be so hard on Jim Hendry. Nobody cares who you hate.
Re: 149
The Second Murton is a Geoffrey.
I would sound real good right about now.
Middle of the plate much?
I was all over that. You know, after I broke the wrong way.
Ron sez “We’ll ask Matt our alcoholic” – Pat gets a little nervous. WTF.
You named your kid after a giraffe?
Luckily the Brewers like me too.
Jacque is my protege
You need to let us get up 4-1, then you’re guaranteed to win.
I’m the oldest 33 year old in the world.
We have a cripple on the bases.
OK. At what point do we just declare that A Ram is in need of hospitalization? He cannot be healthy.
In the same way that Pujols is the oldest 27 year old?
fuck
Another great offensive inning there guys.
Ron was just asking Pat if Sheets pitched last.
I’m throwing some leather out there tonight!
And throwing up between batters.
I’m tired.
Ron was just asking Pat if Sheets pitched last NIGHT.
Good to see Ron is all over it as ususal.
Two strikes on Weeks. Time to hit him.
This is turning out to be a bigger game than I thought it would be. Ben SHeets shoved it up their asses tonight and if the Brewers hold on and win tonight, they’re gonna trot out a rookie lefty (double-edge sword where the Cubs are concerned) tomorrow, and if they win that one, they’re a half-game out. And the Cubs could miss a chance to gain a game on the Cardinals.
over/under on weeks’ hbp tonight
The next big game I win will be the first in a while.
And here’s where the wheels come off.
Hmmm….we need some Z mental toughness now. Not good
Theriot had no shot of turning two. Just catch the fucking ball.
Ron’s upset.
I am the Cubs when a suckass pitcher is on the mound.
Rickie trips over third and can’t score. Shades of Kal Daniels.
I’d say this game has already been lost.
How about a 6-4-3 at’em ball and then to the Brewers bullpen
THe Riot makes a boner and I can’t come through in a big night. And I’ve got to go against Brad Penny Monday. Shit.
Should I be pissed? Or thankful?
Oh, I would have thrown him out.
Leave Z in til his arm falls off.
Lou walked out to kill time and you could see all he said was, “Hey, how about a double play?” Then he left.
I’m afraid your right. This team has no balls.
This’ll be interesting. Big Z stays in.
Even I forgot I was still on the team.
Ron just told us to watch the replay again.
I must’ve won the lottery since I’m in the same seat behind home plate again tonight.
Fielder is so big they could not get 1st into the split screen graphic
Cubs have us right where they want us.
You know what? I’m really not that good.
Z or Soriano?
…would have been Ramirez getting distracted by the loose ball from the bullpen and getting hit in the head by the line drive.
How do you leave Zambrano in for the one Brewer that can hit?! Your bullpen is outstanding!
What a bunch of fukking losers.
I’m plenty good. I could use some freakin’ run support, though, so I’m not going crazy every inning, like I am apt to do!
We are the 2007 Chicago Cubs. We have no scrotum.
Hey, I’m in – what could possibly go wrong?
The only thing lower than the Cubs OBP is the percentage of Cubs top buttons fastened
That if Ramirez had caught that line drive the umpires would have ruled no pitch and the out would not have counted.
I guess I do still suck.
by Friday.
Hell Z, you’d need six just to get a no-decision tonight.
Might as well pull Fonzie, Ramirez, Lee, and put Hank White in to pitch.
Let’s hope this isn’t the ‘turning point”.
by Monday.
I need to catch a line drive with my teeth.
and 5 runs.
ready, go!
I think they should invite Mr. Baseball back to the booth
I think they should invite Mr. Belvedere to the booth.
If Lou put in the Marmot to face Braun, I bet we’re still at 2-1 going into the bottom of the inning. 2 runs over 6+ isn’t atrocious.
By putting in Eyre, Lou’s going for the series win, which I think is a good idea. That is, if the predominantly right-handed Cubs line-up can hit a rookie left hander…
I’m rampant here.
I am feelin’ Monroe’s first big Cubs hit in 2 more batters (a guy can hope right)
“That is, if the predominantly right-handed Cubs line-up can hit a rookie left hander…”
New here?
Championship teams play for a sweep.
Nope. I guess I’m not so good at conveying the “ominous” tone.
Take goddamnit!
Go back to fucking Des Moines you fucking idiot
are of the brewers runs me today?
Tell that to Lou, I guess. I agree with you, and like I said, if he puts in Marmol there I bet we’re still at 2-1.
are all* of the brewers runs me today
Come on Riot…make them pay
I have a great name, and i look awesome in my game cast pic
No runs for you…
gets the riot out.
I heart the Cubs!!!!!
I think the Cubs have the most of me in all of baseball.
That’s 7, total 6 in scoring position.
Why is anyone surprised that after 120+ mediocre games, we play another one?
not me
Even if this team were to back into the playoffs, they’d get absolutely steamrolled.
“I forget but when he first came into the majors did Kerry pitch from the wind-up?”
I am a complete crapshoot. Anyone can beat anyone in a 5 or 7 game series. That’s why getting in is so hard. Or easy, for the NLC winner.
Remember us? 83-79??????
The way this division is going, 79-83 might be good enough.
There aren’t a lot of 83-win World Series champions in me.
Doesn’t Ryan Braun mash left handers? SCOTT EYRE?!
……..NOW!
That’s us, the 2007 Chicago Cubs.
We also have no balls.
We were clearly a worse team than this years bunch. But is this years team underachieving as well??
If we win tomorrow and win the series do we still have no balls?
Yes, yes we are. We have a payroll in excess of $100 million, the guy we gave a 7-yr contract to is .247-.671-4-15 in his home park in 55 games, and our ace has is 0-4 in his last four starts, two of which were AFTER signing a big multi-year contract.
It may not be underachieving to your guys’ level (although you probably would have been better if Lee weren’t out all year), but it’s underachieving to a great degree nonetheless.
Based on their play tonight, projecting a win tomorrow is a pretty big step.
That was fucking pathetic.
guys?
Flap, flap, flap, ruffle, ruffle, flap, ruffle
Hmm, I take it that its a good thing I skipped out halfway through to catch this fantasy football draft. I got your guys’ boy Urlacher, yay?