Today’s starters
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 3-1, 2.18
Dodgers: Hideo Nomo, 3-3, 6.00
The lineups are in:
Cubs
Tom Goodwin, cf
Todd Walker, 2b
Moises Alou, lf
E-Ramis Ramirez, 3b
Todd Hollandsworth, rf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Ramon Martinez, ss
Paul Bako, c
Carlos Zambrano, p
Dodgers
Jason Grabowski, lf
Cesar Izturis, ss
Milton Bradley, cf
Shawn Green, 1b
Adrian Beltre, 3b
Juan Encarnacion, rf
Dave Ross, c
Alex Cora, ss
Hideo Nomo, p
Sammy and Corey get to nap today.
I’m going to be in the booth with Chip and Steve, buddy! I’ll tell them what’s really going on, buddy!
Sure, I’d take a swing at announcing if they offered.
Will we show up today?
Could they possibly put out a worse team. I predict the Cubs score -7 runs this game.
This is the one I wanted to use:
cf Jose Macias
2b Damian Jackson
1b Todd Hollandsworth
3b Mike Barrett
ss Ramon Martinez
c Paul Bako
rf Glendon Rusch (he can rake)
lf Tom Goodwin
p Joe Borowski (he used to start)
C’mon TW, I think you know it could be worse.
We’re bringing out the hot bats today.
It is worse. I’m starting after all! Whoo hoo!
Sweep! Sweep! Sweep!
Wait, that’s a bad thing, right?
If you add our first two hitters’ averages together, you get me!
Why am I not playing?
I think this is what Dusty is waving.
Why dont we have Todd Walker listed on the bench?
Good move Dusty – afterall our offense has been great the last week, so let Sammy have a day off.
And then top it off by batting Tommy Goodwin and Jose Macias 1 and 2.
Brilliant!!
On Macias’ first at-bat, Patterson swung at the first pitch.
I let Wendell K. make out the line-up today. What do you guys think?
I am the Lawnmower!! I am also the 6th best hitter in the lineup today!!
Did anyone else hear Jose Lima sing the national anthem… AS Jim Rome would say…Hilarious.
What the hell am I thinking?
Hey my team scored seven runs for me today. Good luck Cubs
I came back to haunt you guys.
I am trying to ruin Jon’s win opportunity.
For Dusty to wave the white flag he’s got to put in Dave Veres in a two-run game in Game 7 of the NLCS.
Then again, the Cubs are THISCLOSE to the meltdown point.
No really…why the hell am I not playing?
You can actually hit the ball. Please remove all items from your locker and leave.
Thanks,
Cubs Managment
Did I switch to left between the top and the bottom of the inning? That’s what sportsline.com seems to be indicating.
And, as per custom, I’ve tried my darndest to piss your game away, Jon.
Why not just send me out to 2nd base in my walking cast?
F-You Dodgers, I will kill you…that’s with Capital "K,K,K"
3K’s. Looks like Carlos is dealing today.
You’re welcome Tom & Jon. Especially Tom, you piece of crap.
He’d better be dealing if he wants to earn that no desision today.
Looks like our biggest offensive asset is Nomo….
Can Derrek Lee do some damage with men on base?
that is what will happen
Time to get rid of me with a strikeout then a double play
Nomo is the offensive MVP
Can someone send Bako out here to kill me?
All right!! One run in!! Now somebody just needs to duck tape the barrel of Bako’s bat to the back of his head so he can’t ground into a double play.
I should be batting 8th, Bako 9th.
Single to center!! Move that Bak-o-meter baby!!
Paul Bako with an RBI single? What’s next? Corey Patterson endures a 5 pitch at-bat?
Paul Bako strikes again, move that meter up to Andy.
F-U Lawnmower, me badass
im having problems today
Hey Dusty why couldn’t we do this yesterday?
Well I couldn’t do it because I didn’t play.
Because I wasn’t pitching. You’re welcome!
Am I still pitching
Always with the excuses Walker.
Got Urine?
White flag my ass.
6-0 Cubs.
Hey, Moises, I drank the stuff. So says Greg Couch.
Do I have a hair lip?
Somebody want to tell Aramis you’re not supposed to be able to singled to 3rd?
Ow. Damn you, Lawnmower.
Why didn’t I do that to that little chihuahua? i should have done it after the 8th straight foul.
Gotta love Zambrano. That pesky little f**ker Cora started his fouling off bit like last night and Big Z was just sort of like "You know what? I got better things to do than let this little aswipe tire me out"–and then, bam–"take your base you little f**ker."
Don’t worry, guys, the world still makes sense…I’m 0 for 2.
How the hell did I do that with the boldface?
As Andy Dolan would say, I have no idea.
Damn. Yahoo’s busted, we get out of the inning?
I think my bruise just hit a foul ball!
I GOT INTENTIONALLY WALKED!
Paul Bako is being walked intentionally – eveidently the Dodgers don’t do much scouting.
We seem to think that was the 1st time ever that Paul Bako was intentionally walked.
We don’t scout, we just look at stats. See, this is the right move because the pitcher is on deck and it says here that (reads Bako’s stats)…WHY THE HELL ARE WE WALKING THIS GUY? ZAMBRANO’S A BETTER HITTER THAN HE IS! GET JIM TRACY ON THE PHONE, HIS ASS IS SOOOOO FIRED!
Yes, that’s a fact.
Yikes!
Who knew?
I have no idea.
Gee, ya think?
Shazaam! No, wait that’s Jim Nabors. Always get those two confused.
I also should admit that I now use them myself. Well, not Shazaam.
Have I ever in my life been intentionally walked? Just curious.
We just singled to lead off the fourth. Jose Lima is thisclose to not only being taken out of the game, but being forcibly retired from baseball.
How much of that was out loud?
Jose who?
Jose Macias has one career IBB. Last year for Montreal. Who was batting behind him, Mike Barrett?
i’m sorry Jose we don;t even have a listing for you.
I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
Andy could be a pro wrestler with all those catch phrases.
That was my 26th career IBB. No kidding.
I had 10 one year.
For three teams.
I am feared, and respected.
Watch out, I just singled. Maybe IBB #2 is coming up my next at-bat!
Hello again, everybody!
Wait, I guess that catch phrase doesn’t count.
Know he cudn’t. hE don’t say the werd "brother" enuff.
I think I should start every day! Maybe I can lead off, since I get all those IBB.
They don’t say brither too much anymore
Is "Chip sucks" a catch phrase?
I don’t know whether to be flattered that you know them, or if I should go out and get a thesaurus.
I’d spend 39.95 on pay per view involving Andy and Chip in a steel cage.
How can we have six runs without me, buddy? Is this possible, buddy?
So, Karry! How are you and Alan King getting along?
I got a friend who wrestles for Windy City Wrestling (no joke) and he says brother all the time. Ahhh, the Hulk Hogan generation..
Was I just out at second on a 9-6 force out?
That’s embarrassing.
He talks to Alan about as much as Jim McMahon talks to me.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at a Hawks game a couple years ago and The nature Boy was there. They threw his mug up on the jumbotron and the whole arena started yelling "WOOOOOOOOO!!!" It was pretty funny/cool.
I met Flair a years ago. It’s pretty amazing he can still perform in the ring.
Anyone else think Derrek Lee needs to relax?
Did Cora leave the game because he was hit by the pitch?
Bako grounded out to right.
Huh?
Bako grounded out to right. What?
I think we thought Shawn Green was in right.
I am striking out too many to get a complete game!
I will kill anyone who comes out of the bullpen!
Bruised vagina.
21 IP and counting…
I would’ve put money on it that Z was gonna drill Cora if the situation was right today.
You should see the Atlanta line-up that dialed 6 on the Cardinals so far today.
Nice job only 38 more innings to go to tie me
Dusty you may try resting me tomorrow
We’re the only ones who don’t have hits today.
Look, they dug me up!
We can’t hit Carlos.
I think my Pepsi commercial should end with me hitting the Sox fan who gave me the hot taco over the head with a rum bottle.
Buddy.
22 IP and counting…
I’m probably jinxing him, but I don’t care. He’s the Lawnmower Man.
I’m guessing he’s done after one more IP today.
Z’ss 2 hits allowed were to my two fantasy guys….
Fantasy baseball, in case there was any question.
It’s Lima Time! I’ve been getting roped, but have yet to give up a run.
Seven hits in four innings and no runs. Those are the Cubs I know.
Has anybody noticed that when we take walks, we win big?
I know I haven’t noticed that.
What is wrong with me?
How may errors have I had in the past 3 games?
22 2/3 IP
Thanks Aramis, you douchebag.
At least my Earned Run scoreless streak is alive.
Miis me E-Ramis?
I hate Los Angeles
23 IP.
I’m done. I’ll be next seen planting a fastball in Barry’s fat ass. Come out to Clark and Addison and watch.
I will kill him.
Carlos,
You ain’t done. Do you see anyone warming up in the ‘pen?
Barry can wait, now get your ass out there.
My nickname is wheels.
Two-Hit game.
Two hits. I’m baked.
Also, I sure can wheel.
When was the last 2 hit game I had?
.200! Beee-otch! Move the meter!
.200! Beee-otch! Move the meter!
Why am I batting? *looks at bullpen*…oh yeah.
Even though our ace is hurt with an arm injury, I need Carlos out there in the 8th with a 5 run lead.
So anyone else think this game will help our bench players at all?
Indifference my ass. That’s a SB!
Anyone impressed with my speed?
Playboy.com says it is seeking female employees of the largest home improvement chain to "shuck their orange smocks and show their hardware."
We would like Carlos Zambrano to replace our famous clydesdales.
Did I poop today?
Prior’s WARMING up! PRIOR!
uh, no he’s not.
Actually, I can understand Baker’s thinking in leaving Zambrano in. With Mitre, Maddux and Rusch pitching the next 3 games, the bullpen is going to get a lot of use, and it’ll be one man short due to Rusch’s start.
3 for 4! I just needed a chance.
A 3 hit day! Tell Ordonez to stay in AAA!
Take that Damian!
Prior’s WARMING up! PRIOR!
uh, no he’s not.
Nothing like an 11 million dollar mop up pitcher.
I’ll be here on Monday.
im gonna have to say I’ll take Macias over Lenny Harris any day.
Why am I swinging at balls I can’t hit?
I’m moony over Macias.
Prior’s WARMING up! PRIOR!
uh, no he’s not.
Seriously though, if I get 3 hits, the Cubs may be no hit for the next week.
Nothing like using me in a 6 run game.
Someone start throwing.
Mayday, Mayday!!!
You left me somewhere in 2003
Hey Joe, try getting somebody out.
I am I’ve thrown 2 strikes that were called balls
No velocity, no control…hmmmm…I wonder if that’s a good thing for a Major League closer.
I’ve also thrown a lot of strikes that were hit pretty hard.
Get off Joe!
What is this? A conspiracy?
he’s trying to make one
I’m not watching the game, but I’m listening to the radio, and I would bet Kerry Wood’s right arm that Chip has made some bad Borowski-Grabowski joke.
Need me yet? I’m just about ready.
Am I a convenience store or the closer’s ERA?
Why is a doubleswitch necessary with 2 outs in the ninth? If Mercker allows the Dodgers to tie it, will they really keep him in the game past this 9th inning, necessitating a double switch?
Hey guys, when we get to San Diego, why don’t you just drop me off in Mexico?
Shut up Barrett!
What is this, a damn conspiracy?!?!
Hey, my saves streak is still alive!
I can see my closer job waving good bye to me.
Don’t worry Joe, I’ll take it from here.
How Millions of dollars did I give Joe Borowski?
Dusty: Hey Joe, any time you want to quit this Dave Veres impression would be fine with me.
Borowski (breathing heavily): DK-57 baby!
Dusty: Dammit, I mean it!! It’s not funny anymore!!
Borowski: DK-57!!
Dusty: Shit, gimme the damn ball. I sure as hell hope Hawkins doesn’t grow any extra fingers.
I have 4 saves in Iowa…why is Francis Beltran still in Chicago?
test
Because you suck, Mike.