Pitching matchups
Cubs: Steve (Oh God, Why?) Trachsel 7-10, 4.74 ERA
Marlins: Some Dude From Crystal Lake Who Should Throw the Game Because He Grew Up A Cubs’ Fan 9-15, 5.88 ERA
Lineups
Cubs
Al, lf
Dance Fever, ss
Derrek Lee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
PonDeRosa, 2b
Geovany, c
Guh, rf
Jock, cf
Whoever bats for Trachsel, p
Marlins
Hanley Garage Door, ss
Ugggggla, 2b
Stop Calling Me Felix Hermida, rf
Fat Miggy, 3b
Mike Jacobs, 1b
Todd Linden, lf
Miguel Olivo, c
Alejandro De Aza, cf
Scott Olsen, p
I mean the caption possibilities are endless…kind of like this season.
Get me to two, you assholes!
does anyone else have me?
I can, I can feel it.
After 15 years in the big leagues, 36 year old Steve Trachsel has trudged to the mound for over 2400 innings. But today, he’s pitching against time, he’s pitching against the future, against age, against ending. Today, he will make the fateful walk to the loneliest spot in the world, the pitching mound at Dolphin Stadium, to push the sun back into the sky and give us one more day of summer.
I’m a bald, orange douche.
We have increased our chances of winning by about 8% by having Soto in the lineup. We have that going for us, which is nice.
I hope as hell that Trachsel is channeling the spirit of Shawn Estes circa September 24, 2003.
Today’s gonna be a big fetal position on couch day, I think.
C’mon Scott. Now’s the chance to help your favorite team. Give up 10 runs in the 1st inning.
So when do our whiny, bed-wetting asses first make an appearance here?
I’m guessing after the first out.
With Trax on the mound I’m full of knots.
Today would of been a great day to give Cabrera, Hermidia, Ramirez, and Uggla a day off.
That’s what I’m stuck with today. Len’s replacement is awful.
C’mon Cubbies…Win today, Brewers lose tonight, win tomorrow and then 8 balls and hookers for all!
The upside to Soriano leading off: Potential for quick 1-0 lead.
The downside to Soriano leading off: 3 pitch at-bat; Theriot needing to set the table w/1 out.
Yes sir, double by Lee.
Time to get off my dead ass.
…There’s Ace Ventura looking for Snowball.
I don’t know the difference between amusing saracasm and whiny depressing horsehit posts
I have a higher OBP than Theriot.
Just sayin’.
Re: #14
8-balls?
Pshaw.
Real men snort liters.
Come on Theriot you can score! (Theriot holds at third) Smart move.
Lets go Aramis
When was the last time Ramirez hit a home run? Isn’t he due?
1-0 cubbies, base hit by ramirez!
There’s your run Tracshel. Don’t fuck this up.
Keep em comin boys. We’ll need em
The best thing about jumping out to an early lead?
It keeps the “woe is us” front-running douchebags at bay for a while.
When was the last time DeRosa hit a home run? Isn’t he due?
Nice to take an early lead, but lets get some more
Fear the cannon, bitches!
Soto can go a long way toward forcing Lou to keep him in the lineup here…
We made the trip after all? C’mon Soto!
C’mon Geo.
Phuck
Shit, not swinging the bat would of got Soto a walk.
guy on 3rd 1 out is a reason to say me
We’ll be okay today. I think Trachsel will come up big. Why? Fuck you, that’s why.
Well, I’m coming up big already.
See, I gave up a 425-foot fly ball, but it wasn’t a homer! Whee!
Man, I suck.
Or not. Maybe he won’t.
Did I grow up a Cubs fan too? I must have
88 degrees… we should of pitched a black or latino pitcher, they can handle the heat much better than a white guy.
Someone will miss me today.
43
Not me mang. I get cramps.
I’m good for that kind of thing Carlos. Oh it’s not THOSE kind of cramps? Well excuuuuuse me.
According to me Trachsel is either pitching on a ladder or has developed an ephus pitch
Enjoy me, you won’t see too much of me by the Marlins today.
i was traded to the Marlins, right?
Nice throw Jock. Very fundamentally sound.
Traschel almost threw a wild pitch on an intentional walk. Really? Honestly?
I’m gonna make up for those RBIs last night, one 15-hopper throw at a time.
I’m assuming Jock overthrew the cutoff man on hermaphrodite’s single?
Christ, the one time we NEED one of his patented, 43-bounce throws, he fails.
Hi Steve, you’ve gotten yourself in some of me haven’t you?
Bases loaded one out? Don’t worry guys, I got this.
Please hit into me.
Get ready for some of me today!
We have to get out of this inning either tied or w/ the lead.
Didn’t I used to be the fifth starter?
Please get the bullpen up…
Traschel walks in a run, does Lou rip out Traschel’s spine and use it as a putter?
We need a veteran pitcher to help us in our playoff run. Unfortunately I got Traschel.
I got benched for THIS GUY?
Didn’t you know “Trouble” is my middle name?
Sean, he is a better bunter.
I’m a big pile of shit
Hey, what happened to me?
I am so much better than this old fossil
Hey there’s your swinging strike (yeah, I know that Tracs sucks but at least he limited the damage). 1-1 end 1
I’m available to pinch hit.
Wow, 3 of me in one at bat.
Its not our fault…it Traschel. You’ll return once Traschel leaves. Or is struck down by lightening. Either will do.
Whew. I made it through the first. Now get me the hell out of this game.
Why don’t we play like the shitty team we are against the Cubs? We’ve lost 90 games. We’re bad. C’mon Cubs you can beat just once this year.
I’ll make this gamecast as painful as possible.
We’re going to have to score a shit load of runs today to win.
What’s with this BC-cast crap? Just jump you shitheads.
I heart Jock.
Chance you get on base if you don’t swing the bat.
I have a good shot at that too #74.
I cannot BELIEVE I struck out against Steve Trachsel. The memory of that is going to RUIN my offseason.
I can hit LH pitching this year. Play me more.
Ride me to October, odgens!
Hero time, ogdens.
Need a productive out here, Trax.
Thanks Pat for making sure to remind everyone for the 3rd day in a row that there is a lot of me in the stands today.
no kidding
Or a hit.
God, Olsen has nothing. They’ve got to get him before the bullpen starts its lawnmower routine and Trax starts his, well, Trax routine.
Good AB btw.
I haven’t made a damn bit of difference in this series thus far.
I have better at bats than Soriano…
We will get pwned today when we come in. It’s the law of averages, ogdens.
or, maybe not.
I’m leaving the yard beetches
we need a FYC
Of all the times he swings at the 1st pitch, he doesn’t swing at a 1st pitch fastball down the middle of the plate.
We’re scheduled to appear at 4:20 today dudes.
No, no, wait! I meant to hit that to the right side!!!
Mulligan?
Here I come
OBP!!!!!!!!!!!
Or I’ll walk.
I walked? Really?
I thought Soriano wasn’t allowed to do me.
I’m scrappy. I’ll drive the bitch in.
OK– a walk is somthing (cant beleive he hung around for 9 pitches)
Top of the fucking second inning?
Wow. Usually, when Fonzie walks it’s because the pitcher’s wild and it’s on 4 pitches. Helluva of an at-bat there.
I have Turnbow like control
Looks like I suck as bad a Trax. Thank God.
What’d you expect, #104. You DID realize who was starting for the Cubs today, didn’t you?
We’re trying to make a difference, but our cheers get drowned out in JoeRobbieProPlayerDolphinMarlinUglyAssShitHoleStainOnAmerica Stadium.
I suck but I didn’t give up a run that inning.
1 Run. Enjoy it.
I’m back ogdens!
Scott Olsen has thrown me in 2 innings. Is he getting tips from Mark Prior or Kerry Wood?
Is anyone actually watching the game?
Apex of the Unemployed?
Was that a diving catch on Theriot’s line drive there?
12 batters, 2 innings, 1 run.
It’s so fucking Cub. I think we win. But goddamnit.
There’s going to be 200 pitches thrown through 3 in this game.
Jesus, I can hardly stand it anymore. This week is killing me.
Doesn’t anyone have one of me and can they nail Olsen before the top of the third? Or Trachsel for that matter?
51 Pitches through two innings. I won’t be out here too much longer.
Not a diving catch. Routine as they come.
#114, no
Repent, Apex, and ye shall hurt no more.
I did, Mike D., but Olsen doesn’t appear to be any quicker than Trachsel.
Please make an appearance
How about I introduce my pet chainsaw to the Marlins and they have to forfeit the rest of the game?
Why would you want to take me anyway? It’ll just hurt that much more when Traschel gives it up.
Looks like we’re going to get into this game really early.
Len just told us that Olivo’s hit was the first of his career against Trax. Good timing.
OH, GOD WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THESE DAMN MARLINS!!!!!!!!
You didn’t think it’d stay tied long did you?
Welp, go Padres! How can this guy be a major league pitcher?
we own you guys
I have less than nothing. Bill Wirtz has more than me.
I thought Trax already had his “Estes Moment” this year, #124.
I refuse to be surprised by any prowess any hitter has against Traschel.
Refuse.
What happened to me?
I think im going to take a break from this.
I think I have sand in my vagina.
Go Padres?
Wait, this isn’t batting practice?
Lou, for the love of God.
I just can’t get positive when I see the ball ringing off the bats of these sonsabitches! Every guy in the order just crushes it.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Don’t worry, we’re throwing for Cincy this weekend.
Get a gun and shoot Trachsel?
If we want to win this game, we need to change pitchers right now.
We can’t get out of Florida fast enough.
I’m loosening. I should’ve done that for a half hour prior to gametime and started this friggin’ game. This is inexcusable.
Mr. Selig:
We are submitting a petition to restructure the National League to 4 divisions, the 4th being comprised of just us and the Cubs. We look forward to hearing from you.
There I am.
on that throw, bitches. Next time I’m running it all the way home.
Why the fuck is Trax still in there. How is there no one warming in the pen. This is re-god-damn-diculous.
At least I’ll be hitting with nobody on next inning.
I’m a complete and utter waste of oxygen
Aren’t you supposed to give up 1 in the first, 2 in the second, 3 in the third? C’mon, the math is beautiful.
Let me explain something, #135.
The opposite of the shit-stained screeds that permeate these threads when things are rough is not positive.
You can be upset how they’re playing. The point is this “Season’s over” crap, this “what a choke job”, this “ballgame’s over in the second inning and so is the season even though we’re in first” crap is different than being frustrated at how they’re playing. it’s an entirely different animal. It’s childish, impulsive and retarded. It’s defeatist. We’re not suggesting you ignore it and “be positive”. We’re suggesting you get a fucking grip, that’s all. Would you rather be rotting for the Mets?
Hart is up in the pen. He’s got to start the next inning or this one’s over.
::Superman:Cubs
Where did Hendry dig up that old fossil?
On the plus side, I’m headed back to the mound.
I can’t believe how gosh darn bad Trachsel blows. Jeez, we need to score about 8 insurance runs now.
Don’t worry. I’m still managing the Brewers
And I’m in the bullpen.
Quit playing my music in your shitty-ass house!!
Is Julio Franco still playing in New York #154?
I’d rather not be rotting for anyone. It’s bad for the skin.
Didn’t we sweep the Cubs last year too?
I wish I could be used for whenver Ramirez reaches base.
Don’t worry, I’ve got one more inning in me.
I can’t believe these guys can’t hit me.
Manson wants to see me in the clubhouse. Oh, okay.
Wait, we still play in the NL Central!
Hahaha, I’m back bitches!!
No, but they’ve won nine in a row going back to last year. A win today is a franchise record according to their announcers.
Won on April 24, 2006, the game where Z broke a bat over his knee. That may be the last win against the Marlins. I can’t remember if they won after that. I think maybe…
Holy shit. What did DeRosa do to these umps? That’s the third time in three games he’s been called out on strikes on a pitch that wasn’t even close. This was the worst one, yet. About six inches off the ground.
Yep, I’m fucking you in the ass too.
Derosa has been seeing a lot of me in Florida.
Most of the rest of the NL swept them last year. They kinda sucked balls then.
That looked like strike to me. You gonna finish those nachos?
Dude wouldn’t get called out if he’d swing.
Man, I was washed up in 1999, what the hell are the cubs thinking?
Some days, I’m awesome.
Other days, not so much.
I may be even streakier than Soriano. So far today I have filed to drive a runner in from third and struck out against SCOTT FUCKING OLSEN
I’ve got an ERA of almost 6. Seriously, you guys should be scoring a ton of runs.
Hey guys, in case you forgot…
I’m supposed to suck.
I’m not falling today for the Cubs.
But I’m rocketing off the wall for the Marlins.
How fucking many of me are we going to hit right at somebody?
Who did Trachsel strike out? Todd Linden? That should get you banned from baseball.
I gave up 1 run in the 1st and 2 in the 2nd. This is the 3rd inning so to keep my theme going….
this word makes me want to puke.
Mark, strike three was actually a ball. Don’t take it personally I’m just fucking you guys every chance I get.
So, is BC gloating?
We still have 180 pounds of Eric Gregg in a freezer.
Let’s just let the Padres win this for us.
That sounds like a good plan to me
Trachsel’s still in. Apparently Lou wants to see if the boys can get some momentum for the weekend by rallying back from an 11-1 deficit.
So it’s okay to say the offense sucks, DeRosa sucks, Trachsel sucks, the defense sucks, Scott Olsen sucks and therefore they should be scoring more runs, etc., etc., etc., but if you dare extrapolate from that and say “gee, teams that play like this tend to lose a lot and miss the playoffs” then you are a fake fan and a pussy and should be strung up from the center field flagpole.
Got it.
Don’t forget my routine DP yesterday.
If you get sick of watching the Cubs lose, I’m always on.
I dunno, Chuck (#189) but I’m sure you are.
Holy shit! A strikeout. How’d that happen?
Uh-oh, Hermida, you just made the list, pal.
When did the ’07 Marlins turn into us at the plate?
My 79 MPH gob pitch is devastating.
Holy Fuck! I struck someone out!!!!!!!!
I weeell heet thees to Fort Lauderdale.
Livan Hernandez better bake me a pie when he gets up here.
BC can’t gloat. He never warned us about the Marlins. He was only worried about the Cardinals.
2 strike outs. Damn, I’m good.
Struck me out, 185.
Frankly, this is his fault.
Corey Provost just reported that Ned Yost was suspended for 1 game and Seth McClung (reliever that drilled Pujols) was suspended 3 games and fined. What’s Uncle Bud thinking?!
I like full counts.
Yep.
Now go suck on a turd, pussy.
Two quick outs. Now, time to walk some guys.
If the Cubs face us, we should pitch lefties exclusively. If the DBacks left Brandon Webb off the roster and pitched lefty-throwing OF Jeff Salazar instead they’d sweep.
I just hope that Ned left instructions to let Turd Throw pitch tonight.
There’s a difference between us. Try to follow.
Hey, A Sor. Less being mad at me and more being mad at yourself would be a start. Who are you? Kent Mercker?
Yankees are in the playoffs! Yankees are in the playoffs! Yankees are in the playoffs!
(pause for ejaculation)
Yankees are in the playoffs! Yankees are in the playoffs!
As long as Turnbow didn’t get suspended for forcing Pujols to run around the bases on his bad calf, fine with me. We need our secret weapon to be available for the Crew.
Three Ks, I’m on fire bitches!!!!!!!
Found my groove, baby! Good thing we scored five runs in the first two innings.
What?
This was all my doing.
We regret to inform Mike Jacobs that he too is now banned from baseball.
Did I really just happen?
Cabrera – I’ve never seen a guy stand and watch a routine fly ball
2 strike outs in 1 inning?
Bitches!
We’re on our way. Trachsel just had a 1-2-3 inning.
The big bats are coming up in the fourth.
Let’s get some runs. Bunches of them.
I appreciate any good rip on the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network, but everyone knows that Gammons is actually a Boston homer, not a Yankee worshipper…
Actually, I admired Miguel’s hustle.
upset that Yost is suspended. this might hurt us.
I know this guy’s pitch count is up. So I’m gonna swing at the first pitch.
Jock will, too.
In in charge tonight!
Ummm, Chuck? You DO realize that that’s not REALLY Alfonso Soriano, don’t you? You’re arguing witha charcter poster there.
I ask because this team has really seemed to have driven you off the deep end the last 2 months and it wouldn’t shock me if you really thought you were talking to Fonzie.
I sure am glad all I needed to do is hit a HR in a loss to get more playing time.
I’m in charge tonight. Sorry, got a little excited.
One pitch one out.
#209, there must have been a coup d etat at the home office. According to page 41 (4th paragraph) of my manifesto, Bud Selig is the mastermind of a conspiracy to sneak the Brewers into the playoffs.
Chuck’s just mad that Soriano got hot in September and helped the Cubs build the lead they’re now squandering.
I wish I could come up with an excuse to suspend Turnbow too.
DPappy, I think that by suspending Yost, the commish is doing the best he can to make sure the Brewers don’t choke away the division.
No, I know I wasn’t talking to Fonzie. I did talk to his son in LA a few weeks back.
I hope you know I mean Henry Winkler’s son and not Alfonso Soriano’s.
The way the Cubs are hitting, it might be better if they can’t see the ball because of me.
Red Sox are in the playoffs! Red Sox are in the playoffs! Red Sox are in the playoffs!
(pause for ejaculation)
Red Sox are in the playoffs! Red Sox are in the playoffs!
Papi – “dude are you done? can i pull up my pants now?”
I am the Cubs offense.
Oh, gee Nedley, gee I’m sorry. We’re gonna have to suspend you for a game. Gee, I wish you could appeal, but manager’s don’t get to. Golly, good luck with the Padres. Our plan to have Milton Bradley baited into killing half his team didn’t quite work. But gee, he did take out Mike Cameron, so that ought to help.
I refuse to believe that’s the only refrence to the Selig-Brewers conspiracy in your mainfesto.
I don’t have any legs!
Bottom of the order. Time to shine.
Just like I did in the second.
Todd Linden was so embarrassed by his previous strikeout against Trachsel that he bunted to avoid further humiliation.
Someone should tell the Cubs that I always don’t win the division.
Don’t bunt on me. I’m cat-like! By that I mean I enjoy sleeping 22 hours a day and shitting in a box.
i feel like such an asshole for laughing.
Hey, Steve. How about you have them hit it about 20 feet farther. You’re going to kill me.
Just a guess: Murton doesn’t make that play.
I could be perfect for the rest of this game and it ain’t gonna matter. Scott F. Olsen is just too overpowering.
I am the Cubs’ MVP of this series. That’s so sad.
im so good in center
It’s catching.
Every time Jock lays out and makes a catch, then gets up with that irritating smug grin on his face, I wish he would fall back over, grabbing his knee, and then never play again.
Marlins announcers are talking about me now.
got salad?
You’re right, #248. I should have mentioned the one where Bud travels back in time to frame Ernie Banks for Josh Hancock’s murder, thus angering the Cardinals and motivating them to sweep the Cubs for the season and win the division.
I just said Steve Trachsel’s found it.
Fucking jinx.
Coach has me smile when I bat so I can blind the pitcher.
I am mowing these mothers down.
I am the shit!
I smiled when I lost both testicles in a lawn mower accident.
Time for us to sack up.
They’re still talking about me.
Fuck, is this an AL game or something?
At least they aren’t talking about the fact no team has ever blown me with six games left in a season.
Hey Apex, if you feel compelled to bring me up, you can do better than #256. Lou would let me teabag his wife before he would let me play centerfield.
It’s time for me to show why I have an ERA of almost 6.
Can anybody do me?
Call me the Dominator!
what time is the flight to Cinci?
Send me your douchebags!!
How are you guys liking my twin Soriano… I taught him how to do a home run trot on a foul ball that didn’t go over the fence.
Sigh.
This is turning into a regular me.
How is my potential looking?
I’ll be more than enough today.
It looks like we are going to have to win 3 out of 4 games if the Cubs are going to make the playoffs.
Throw ball hard at people over there.
I am sick of hearing me as an excuse for this shitty offense.
I’m getting old. Everyone’s bitching about lack of BP, well what’s the Marlins excuse. The weekend against Pitt wasn’t enough BP?
Dominator! You can’t touch me
The Cubs are me
Nice fucking offense you have there, Hendry.
This is fucking appalling…
Where the hell did we come from?
Chip: come back home… we miss you.
No, they’re me.
Is when this game turns in the Cubs’ favor…
Why can’t we say “What a choke job” again? It’s defeatist? Do you work for the Bush administration?
Well, I live in the real world, so
WHAT A CHOKE JOB.
It looks like we picked a bad time to give up winning games.
Hey it’s not my fault these fuck-ups can only manage one run against a suck-ass pitcher. I can’t do it by myfuckingself.
I believe the prefered term is “Gutless Fucking Assholes”
We’ve pitched pretty well this week. And it’s almost time for us.
This game will turn in the Cubs’ favor in me.
There’s nothing better than a good piece of cheese.
While it’s true we suck hard, let’s at least wait until after the Padres game to see if we even lose any ground. We can still lose and knock the Magic Number down to 2. There’s my positive. Shit, that was hard to do.
No, no, 295, I am the order of the day. Getting swept by the Marlins is just what this team needs to propel it to a World Series championship.
Ever notice it’s hard to talk with your head buried in the sand?
4 Ks. I’m awesome.
Trachsel’s retired 10 in a row since taking away any chance the Cubs had to win today.
4 runs in 4 1/3 innings is far from good.
Len and Bob have squandered, just as the team has, all possible goodwill they’d built up. Listen to Len go on about other teams struggling with bad teams as if that has anything to do with the Cubs choking. Or discussing “the math” like that’s any solace to the fanbase as their team chokes away a sure playoff spot. And Bob’s blaming the lack of onfield work prior to games 1 and 2 was pathetic.
Oops, ‘nother homer. 4-1 Fish.
CHOKERS.
The Marlins are phucking us again.
Holy macaroni……..oh!
4-1 now.
Shoot this motherfucker. Right in the fucking head. Cocksucker
My awesomeness just disappeared.
Here we go
You give me the pitchers, I’m gonna use ’em. Jim knows that.
Hendry never should have traded for Trachsel.
Len is still speaking as if the Cubs are in line to make the playoffs. It’s as if he’s not watching the action. Len, shut the hell up about “they’re going to have a couple days off before the division series.” They’re going to have several months off, you dope.
Thar he blows!
Yar.
I’m tired, can I go sit down now?
The Cubs will be the first team to blow me with six games to go in the history of Major League Baseball
Hah! Just when you assholes this game couldn’t get any worse.
We’re going to lose this game, and probably lose no ground. Shit, it’s only Thursday. The Marlins own us and we had Trachsel going. Is anyone surprised by this? Get hot in Cinci and we’ll all laugh about this, I swear.
Boo
Here I am to save the Day!”
All interested parties should mail any donation to the visitors clubhouse at Miller Park to raise enough funds to convince Bud Black to pitch Peavy on short rest in the final game of the season.
2 out of 3 in Cinci to win the division
Dave Veeres in to pitch.
We can close the book on Trachsell. Thank God
yeah, i forgot the Brewers already won today.
Man, Even Ron Santo thinks I’m dogshit.
It’s my birthday Saturday! Fortunately, the Cubs have been the one constant in my life. They will always fuck it up. Way to go guys. Swept by the last place Fish, that’s inspiring.
I’m looking pretty familiar right now.
NOW can we say me?
That Hermida shot nearly gave me a heart attack.
Thud.
You could use one yourself, 318. Milwaukee is dominant at home and sends Gallardo out tonight against a SD team whose best hitters are hurt.
Cubs are toast. Awful awful choke. Fuck these guys. And fuck Hendry for his absolutely senseless and pointless trade for Steve Trachsel to replace a much better pitcher. And fuck Lou for pulling that pitcher out of the rotation for Trachsel, just cause Hendry brought him in. Fucking idiots. Do they not have access to statistics?
Well except for the juicing douchebag with 66 homers in rightfield.
thats how we will win this division
So Lou, if we make the playoffs I do have a spot on the roster, right?
So I step away from my computer for a few minutes and come back to find Trax out of the game.
Hooray!
So, who’s on in his place?
Someone fucking kill me now.
Well, it looks like you guys have an alternative to using me on a 4-1 raging jungle fire….. Will Ohman.
Lou has me on a pitch count of one.
Lou’s a smart man.
Not so fast, 321. I pitched on short rest three weeks ago: 4 IP, 8 ER.
Feels alot more like 2003
The sun is out, I get to enjoy an early fall day in the greatest city in the world. The Cubs can only enhance my day, not ruin it.
To all those making asses out of yourselves crying like a bunch of 10 year olds: This is not a once-in-a-lifetime team (Durocher’s Cubs). This is not a team you hate (2004 Cubs). This is a team that got hot in July in a bad division. And even if they lose the next four games, Milwaukee has to split vs. the Padres to tie. Relax. Enjoy the day.
Again, to all those gnashing their teeth: if the Cubs do choke this all away, then what? How does that reduce the quality (or, judging from your posts, lack thereof) of your life?
The Cubs are down 3 with four innings to go. There’s still time.
I have more mileage than Trax’s arm.
Do us all a favor and stop watching.
Or better yet, read these links:
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN198409180.shtml
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN198409190.shtml
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN198409200.shtml
The only team to take the season series from us in 1984 was Pittsburgh, and they finished last. They also swept us at home with just over two weeks to go in the season. But, because we had a large enough cushion due to our play prior to that, we didn’t lose the division.
This team is playing piss-poor right now. But even before this series they projected to about an 85-win team. So the term “choking†is not applicable. It’s be choking if they were, actually, better.
Now go get your shinebox.
Fuck, I give up. I’ll tune in later to see if the Padres can win it for us.
Im getting tossed here
That may well be true, but this is also a team that had a three and a half game lead with six to go and couldn’t win one game against one the worst fucking teams in the league to put it away.
And that pisses us off…
Never mind. See you tomorrow in Cincy.
Needs to raise holy hell and get tossed here. They’ve been fucked in the ass by the cocksucking umpires all goddamn week.
Here it comes doges!@
do really deserve to go to the playoffs if we get swept by the ****ing Marlins? especially knowing going in we need to win 2 out of 3 or at worst one and we cant get the job done?
nevermind, i’ll go sit down now
All you negative nancies out there. It is more than likely that the cubs blow this. More than obvious that this is causing you obvious discomforture. Instead of ending this pain and moving on to other things, you all collectively constantly bitch and moan instead of letting it go and not letting it ruin your day. If you feel that strongly about it, do yourselves a favor, and walk away. Quit watching the game. Play some Halo 3. Whatever. Just find your happy place.
I’m the cool “above it all” fan who when times are tough saunters in from his beautiful, awesome life out in the Real World to tell everyone how little the Cubs impact his life, win or lose. I think it’s important to point out that this is not much of a team ANYway, even though I’d have soiled my shorts in glee watching their every postseason game, and, if they’d won it all, have named them my all-time favorite ballclub.
So, ok- I’m a douche. Guilty as charged!
I’m over now.
Does it reduce the quality of my life? Well, no. But then, why do you give a damn when they win? How does that make your life any better? Do the bills stop coming in?
On phone: Hey LaTroy, you wont believe this shit!!! We’re so getting off the hook for ’04 in like 4 days.
Now they’re down four. A run an inning and they could tie.
Riiiiigggghhhhtttt.
I stop talking when the other team scores a lot of runs.
The only silver lining to choking is that Jim Hendry will get disected for the idiot that he is. If they win, he gets credit for spending like a dying man on lousy players in a weak division.
It is more than likely the negative nancies will continue bitching. More than obvious that this is causing you obvious discomforture. Instead of ending this pain and moving on to other things, you all bitch and moan instead of letting it go and not letting it ruin your day. If you feel that strongly about it, do yourself a favor, and walk away. Quit reading the comments. Play with yourself. Whatever. Just find your happy place.
We want to be apart of that glorious Cubs’ history.
And, No. 342, do the Cubs get a chance to play the next three games in Cincinnati? Or do they have to forfeit? Oh well.
And, say, are they forced to use this lineup:
2B Neifi Perez
SS Alex Gonzalez
C Michael Barrett
1B Leon Durham
3B Ron Santo
LF Moises Alou
RF Jim Hickman
CF Don Young
SP Greg Maddux, Bill Hands, Mark Prior, Kerry Wood, Rick Sutcliffe, Steve Trachsel
RP Lee Smith, Kyle Farnsworth, Mitch Williams, Lester “Remember the Count” Lancaster, Steve Wilson
Managers: College of coaches– Frey, Durocher, Baker, Riggleman, Zimmer
No? You mean those guys aren’t Cubs? Oh yes, two of them are: Wood and Trachsel. They’ve actually been as clutch as any Cub since Gabby Hartnett…
Are the Cubs in some kind of hurry to catch D. Lee’s guest spot on ER tonight at a hotel in Cincy?
It was also fun listening to White Sox fans standing on the ledge in ’05 when they ALMOST blew it. Many of the people here now sound like they did then. Congratulations
Of course, the Sox won their last 4 games and busted through the playoffs.
thanks dr. phil
My stuff is pretty nasty…
You still alive, Ron? Ron?
The Cubs are me. Screw you who say otherwise. Some of us have seen this movie before.
I’ll have what you’re drinking.
#363:
No.
The Office season premier.
Put me in my head.
Go ahead and use me since you guys are having very little luck with your bats so far.
Yea, this team is just like the ’05 Sox. Great comparison!
all you negative and positive ****suckers here, go do your jobs
or whatever I said a long time ago
bark twice if you are in Milwaukee
If we’re talking medical based dramas the Cubs game today is on par with my quality. Shit.
I look like a young Lou Piniella in my GameDay pic.
Violent handjobs for the entire board on me if we come back and win this fu(ker.
if monroe gets one more at bat this season I am throwing out all my TVs oh never mind
To the intellectual who asks:
Does it reduce the quality of my life? Well, no. But then, why do you give a damn when they win? How does that make your life any better? Do the bills stop coming in?
I pull for them. I want them to win. I’m entertained when they win. Watching them lose isn’t fun, but I like baseball. I like the Cubs. But while they haven’t won anything yet, they’ve hardly blown anything. They still control their destiny.
Grow up. A 42-year-old ranting on a message board? It’s embarrassing. When things go bad, poke fun at it, but the crying shit gets old. It makes this place unenjoyable. Go to BCB or NSBB or somewhere that’ll listen to your cries.
It ain’t over ’till it’s over.
I pity you. You are watching and hoping. Poor, foolish man.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
This game thread needs more tits.
should have caught that shit
Is this a rally? No way!
I heart Jock. Murton can go play dead. Great start by Lou.
I continue to play the stoic fan. I am so above all of you who live and die with your ballclub. You should, like me, merely appreciate the game for its aesthetic value. Foolish plebes.
That’s awesome, #373.
I would have goen with “‘d’ is for ‘douchebag” but whatever.
Jesus Christ. Im double fisting schlitz between innings and shooting an MLB cast of bum fights during warm ups and you clowns still cant hit me.
Fuck. Shit. Bitch. These cocksuckers are blowing a 5-1 lead. Fuck me now. What kind of ML team are they?
The comeback starts?? And seriously, maybe we need to comment a bit more sparingly. Like only when we have nuggets of wisdom?
Oh wait, read what I just posted…….
SWWWEEEEETTT Im done for the season!! Where’d you guys leave my meth spoon and brass knuckles?
The mental picture of a violent handjob gives me the giggles.
It’s about time we fucked up.
No. 386, what do you get out of the deal if they win?
Got your NLDS tickets for Games 3 and 4 at Miller Park?
If Murton doesn’t ground into two here, I’ll get off his ass for a while. That’s all I ask. No DP.
How about a double fisted violent sandpaper handjob with with a 360 fakie?
Just because the guy doesn’t act like he’s getting a 40 oz. bottle shoved up his ass whenever the Cubs lose doesn’t make him any less of a fan. Whiny bitches.
Lindstrom has some nasty heat.
Good AB by Murton. Now we don’t have to worry about him for another 24 hours or so.
Damn.
These fucking choking chokers are just gonna fucking choke like they choked in ’04. Screw you who say otherwise, you dumb fucking choker apologists. Who cares if they’re still 2 games up with 4 to play. No team has ever come back to win a game down 4 in the 6th. Brewers are a fucking powerhouse against San Diego and the Cubs are just a bunch of slapdick pussy chokers. Choke choke chokity choke…
Hold on… I have to refresh Gameday…
i eth balls
Time for the 3-run bomb right here, Ogdens.
No DP Apex! Love me, shower me with E Patts!
Ill sell my alloted tickets to the highest bidder. Im not going to give them to my father who’s baseball genes I inherited but wont give the time of day. No one knows the true reason we don’t get along, but Ill tell you im still not sure if he understands that the hotdogs in the race are in fact real humans with a foamy costume.
C’mon Theriot…
where did i originate?
Yea, I’m Noam Chomsky, bitches, preaching against the illogic of sports fandom, preaching the TROOF, namely, that pro sports is merely a capitalist means of control! Wait, what’s that you ask? Why am I here? What do *I* get if the Cubs win? How can I justify my presence here?
Um…
I’ll have to get back to you.
Most impressive.
That K by Murton might have saved the season.
bill murray has drunk me
FYC. And thank you, Dick Stockton, it’s about time someone got my name right!
That’ll work.
Am I even on the active roster anymore?
How does Jock not score on a two-out double from first?
Woohoo, I’m the guy you want up there with men in scoring position!
It feels like everything Theriot hits these days is right at someone. Guy can’t find a gap to save his life.
#415 get back in my BELLY!!!
Ogdens: A shoutbox on the desipio home page used to convert “bitches” into “female doges.” That became message board lingo for bitches. Someone once changed doges to ogdens and that stuck.
Suddenly it’s gotten kinda quiet around here.
It was hit pretty hard and they got it back in fast. If he tries for home, he’s out.
#408, you originated in Utah….duh.
Two hours to get through 5 1/2 innings. Can’t say I blame him.
Uh, not really. As Jordan would say, “scoreboard.”
It takes me to get through a Cubs game with your sanity intact this week.
Having met TJ Brown, comparing him to an anarchist is kind of a joke.
he slowed down rounding second in case it was a homer and he could jog
All right Stevie. Try not to give them all back, ok?
You can also find me in Kansas, outside Fort Riley.
Makes perfect sense for some reason. I can’t explain it.
Phuck you.
Looks like Lou overplayed his hand two days in a row with his starters. He should have pulled Marquis and Trachsel after 4 innings, instead of trying to squeeze another inning out of them. Instead, neither piece of shit was able to get out of the 5th.
#416. Why do you discount the chance that the ball could have been sucked up by a flying pig between the outfield and home plate allowing Jones to score without a play at the plate?
Otherwise known as IL Route 34
#406:
Talk to me. I know some people.
Agreed. If Theriot walks you have D Lee up with the bases loaded. You have to hold Jock on that.
One run is too close. Let’s get a couple insurance runs.
No really. Where the fuck am I?
i love being behind mike tice’s ear. ear butter is nice
I wasn’t comparing myself to “an anarchist” (that’s a quaint [read: ignorant] way to desribe Chomsky, btw), but pointing out that he was using an argument/ making a point Chomsky has made at length regarding professional sports.
Only, after he makes his argument, Chomsky doesn’t watch 12 hours of sports, write for the sports section of a newspaper, or, ya know, hang out at Desipio. Bit of a difference.
Mike (#439)–
You nand your painful regression to the norm are justifiably sitting on the bench.
Mike (#439)–
You and your painful regression to the norm are justifiably sitting on the bench.
::wringing hands but still thinking we have a shot in this game::
why am i so bad?
At least TJ’s not hiding behind the warming glow of his monitor.
Two on, nobody out. This is fun.
I’m in a lot of Desipio vaginas today.
Scott Eyre is looking to take October off.
Also, Eyre is going to give those runs right back. What a fucking team.
Certainly living up to another blog’s moniker.
I am thoroughly incompetent.
#439:
You and your .233/.329/.315 since August are riding pine.
“At least TJ’s not hiding behind the warming glow of his monitor.”
Wow, he’s typing telepathically. Truly, he’s above us all.
Time for me ogdens.
And Eyre hangs an 0-2 pitch. Lovely.
Time to show the bitches how it’s done!
Watch and learn, little ones.
Vintage Kid-K would be nice here.
Time to score 3 or 4 more!
When a pitcher totally blows the game, and then “is visibly unhappy with himself” as he’s pulled, it makes his blowing the game much more obnoxious. As if by looking upset he’ll somehow make up for being so goddam awful. This is called “The Ohman Principle”.
Hope Kerry’s son is watching the game.
I’m saying at least 1 run will be walked in here.
You best be bringing your jackhammer of death knee buckling whirly bird fantastical spriraling curve ball if you want out of this fucker.
Why did I come back? My ticker’s not doing too good.
Shades of me
K. Really wish the douchenozzle Marlins announcers would stop talking about 2003.
Is that Nolan Ryan?
One down, two to go, Ogdens.
Limit the damage to one run. That’d be ok. God, c’mon.
I ate my dad.
Wood on Wood?
[insert Lassie Edmonds joke here]
Wow, thanks for pointing out that Chomsky reference. I must have totally misread that line where he referred to his personal views being “traditional anarchist ones, with origins in The Enlightenment and classical liberalism.” I mean, I didn’t want to bring out all that detail, or discuss his views as eludicated in Notes on Anarchism, since this is, you know, a Cubs blog. So as you rap yourself up in that pussy ass ivory tower condescenion (quaint my ass), I would ask how exactly you know what Chomsky does. Do you hang out? Exchange Christmas cards?
And why the hell are you actively rooting against the Cubs?
Everybody needs a hobby. I would suggest yours be taking that enormous stick out of your ass.
Now get a GIDP please!!!
Help me OBI-K-Wood….you’re my only hope.
Thats how it’s done. Fuck faces.
Oops.
Kid fucking K. Strike out, 5-3 double play.
I am the balls!
Holy shit… if that doesn’t give us a spark, then nothing will.
That’s how its down OGDENS!
People I love in no particular order:
-Daryle Ward
-Derrick Turnbow
-Kerry Wood
We have to win now, don’t we?
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Name a fucking street after me in Chicago, ogdens.
Kerry Wood appears to be back.
That’s HUGE.
And fuck Scott Eyre.
TIME FOR SOME RUNS OGDENS!!!!
We are the size of grapefruits.
If that’s the last we see of KW as a Cub, nice bookend to a career.
Literally and Figuratively
Too much infomation, I know.
I actually already exist.
Take it or leave it bleaches…thats the best outcome you could have asked for.
Now get your fucking bats out of each others asses and hit the damn baseball. That kind of grabassing and tomfoolery might fly with Edmonds in St Louis, but not here!
I got chills, and I’m watching fucking Gameday.
Cf. Wicker Park/Ukrainian Village, #483
thank you HanRam
eff david wright
When I left work the Cubs were losing 5-1. By the time I get home it’s 5-4. I need to leave work more often.
we need a lot of me
Tell me we’re fucking turning me.
Let me make Wood’s heroic effort, for naught.
Gah, I thought Lee learned to lay off that fucking pitch.
There is a Wood Street in Chcigao.
It’s 1800 West. It’s also “Ravenswood” when you get north of Fullerton (or Armitage).
Let’s get some runs, you MFers.
If anyone knows why I am actually the man who grounded into a double play, more power to you.
Let’s see… big inning in the 6th, *huge* momentum-swinging GIDP to end the bottom half, one-run deficit…
We’re not getting a run the rest of the way, are we?
We’re untouchable.
Guys w/ me don’t lay off those pitches.
Where’s my street? If I don’t overweightly load the bases, Wood never gets us out of that jam.
Mmm….jam
This will interest no one but what the heck. Following the game on gamecast in the office. Got disgusted and did filing and the score goes from 5-1, to 5-4. The watch a bit as Eyre loads the bases. Turn it off for more filing and when I come back, Wood gets out of it. I’m going back to filing, you can thank me later.
That left field wall has saved so many runs this series.
Balls of steel.
Looks like I finally woke up.
Priceless
I’m glad Aram got a double there, causeDeRo seems awfully suspectible to the GIDP, particularly the way he’s been going this series.
Keep filin’ Hawk. Keep filin’.
I’ve gone all Todd Walker on you, ogdens.
Is this the deepest fvcking stadium in the majors?
Time to strand another one!
Sorry boys, if we were up 4 or down 4 runs there, I’d get a hit.
Someone blow this place up please!
I’m going to leave work again. Let me know what happens.
If Soto’s getting bumped for me, I need to come up huge here.
Yeah something about that comment doesn’t really sit well here.
DeRosa was 5-5 against Cinci a week ago when he singled in the winning run.
So blaah
God help me if Monroe swings at the first pitch.
It’s gonna come down to Keystone, isn’t it?
Don’t worry! I’ll fit right in by stranding 2 runners
walk, Craigy
I did swing at the 1st pitch but it was a strike anyway and I missed. So fuck it.
Wikipedia says I’m cousins with Nate Vasher
I’ll take back some of the bad things I said about you Jacque. Just get a freakin’ hit.
Fair enough 556. Come on Jock.
smells like hope in here. I say fook yes!
Who do ya love?
Fuck me.
Fuck you, Jock.
Not me.
I am a piece of human shit.
I see the future
Holy fucking shit… that was awful.
I am your bitch.
We are fucking pathetic.
I am clutch.
Back to my pold ways.
A retarded kid w/ 1 arm had a better chance of hitting that.
I’m in. We’ve got this thing sewn up.
What in the f@#$ is he doing out there in left? Just catch the ball.
Oh woe is us.
The choke has just begun.
We resent the inference, #542
Sorry 546.
Lou is pacing, everybody else is sitting here motionless.
How good am I? Seriously.
I’m about a billion times more better than LaDerrick Turnbow.
Reverse the curse of that Dodger game?
Maybe.
Why the fuck is this slapdick Fontenot batting for me?
Well HERE’S Fontenot. Prove me wrong from earlier, little guy.
And what are they saving Fat Kangaroo for?
I’m alive!
How the hell was that a strike?
I was horseshit.
I should pinch hit here
thats why
Anyone notice I’ve sucked for 2 months?
I have, 559.
Lou’s been sleeping since August.
At least you have us.
This is where you wish Soriano’s legs were 100% healthy.
Me: Than why the hell is he still leading off?????
40 doubles and 31 homers = 66 rbi’s
Who should lead off? DeRosa?
Dempster is here to pour me all over the mound, don’t mind him.
#564 – I might as well.
If we lose today and Milwaukee loses, magic number is 2.
We wrap this up tomorrow, ogdens
I don’t have a cool nickname for my meltdown. 2003 has Bartman, 1984 has Durham, 1969 has the black cat, 1945 has the goat.
What about me? Mercker? Stoney? Farnsworth? Hawkins?
2004 was our fault, 568. Don’t you know anything?
Here I come!
I am a fucking gutless asshole.
I really do not believe this shit.
I fucking hate my fans
Perhaps I should of listened to Hank.
At least I didn’t blow a lead/save.
who wants to be him
Leave Dempster off me.
After 99 years of this shit, there shouldn’t be any sellouts at Wrigley or fan websites, because nobody in their right mind would ever root for a franchise as pathetic as you, 573. Count your blessings.
Relax…I’m here for you guys
I’m there for you guys tomorrow
Yeah, let’s use that excuse.
Fuck.
This team doesn’t deserve to be in the playoffs even if they fall ass-backwards into them.
Fuck this team.
Hey who has me?
watch this ogdens
We could still win the division tomorrow.
arroyo and hurrang sweet those dudes suck sigh we are done
But we won’t.
Have a nice flight guys. We’ll see you this weekend.
Fukk them all. What a bunch of no-heart bums.
Swept by the fukking Marlins? Are you kidding me?
Go to hell, Cubs. I’m sick of having my heart ripped out. This team will always be a no-good bunch of losers, and I’m done with them. I refuse to let them bend me over once again.
Why the fuck do these assholes do this every goddamn time? Heaven forbid if we should actually win one fucking game against the Marlins! The last place fucking Marlins! I think we all knew this was coming, because our beloved Flubbies can NEVER just make things fucking easy!!
FUCK THIS TEAM!!! Can’t even beat the fucking doormats. What a pathetic excuse for a divison leader. IF this bunch of gutless cocksmokers does make it to the playoffs it’ll be 1998 all over again. A quick sweep and yet another wasted season. Hell, they’ll be lucky to win at Cincy with the way they’re playing.
That won’t happen. You know it, I know, and every moran in the world knows it. No what’ll happen is, the Cubs will get into the playoffs only by the virtue that Milwaukee is going to suck slightly more than we will. Then, whatever the most painful, humiliating way to lose in the playoffs will happen, and it’ll be another century of fucking bullshit.
I should have been the nickname for Steve. Maybe it will catch on the playof…never mind.
What is the Brewers’ magic number?
we feel i couldnt imagine being a brewers fan the last 2 nights or how but eht *****ing Mets
I knew we sucked but this last week just seals it. does anyone want to get into the playoffs besides the rockies?
I continue
You know, I have been printed already,
Worst gamecast ever
bark twice if you are in milwaukee…
The guy who compared me to Noam Chomsky insulted me in a way he’d never know. But, you know what’s awesome? If the Cubs choke, any knucklehead with Internet access can say I’m an ass for saying all is well. If the Cubs win the division and the roll off 11 in a row in the playoffs, the guys who keep calling me out can keep moving on in sweet anonymity without anyone asking about their human fire alarm trick they’ve been pulling all week.
But, yes, I’m deserving of your vitriol. Loser.
You see, the Cubs could afford to get swept by Florida because they had done the work they needed to last week. They still have to win at least one game in Cincy (and they will tonight — you read it here first), but they’ll make the playoffs barring a monumental collapse. They’re capable of it, but let them do it before shouting fire in a crowded theater.