1. The Fonz
2. Jock
3. D-Lee
4. Manny’s cousin being Manny’s cousin
5. Cliff Huxtable
6. Bear it
7. Ponderosa
8. Pizza Pizza
9. Theodore Roosevelt Lilly
Ass Trolls
1. Beeege
2. Chris Burp
3. Fat Elvis
4. El Cebolla
5. Morgan Hindenberg
6. Jason Lame
7. Mount Everett
8. Quintero (who?)
9. Morning Woody Williams
Snow Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Who knew?
SD
on April 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Mark DeRosa is greatest ever. MDR!
The Bull Moose
on April 9, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Can I get some recognition here? TR Lilly just doesn’t quite do it for me.
In a nutsack
on April 9, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Jock in the two-hole? Why not just fuck yourself in the poo-hole?
Wayne Messmer
on April 9, 2007 at 1:01 pm
BREEVE!
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:02 pm
It appears that “LOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” is the new “ALOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Hitting 2nd again? Why Lou, why?
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 1:03 pm
I’m on the pre-game show with the new Andy Masur….and I sound like Michael Jackson. Who knew??
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:05 pm
wayne, how about changing it up a little this year? maybe drop the trademark ascending of the Breeeeve! just once. please?
Wayne Messmer
on April 9, 2007 at 1:06 pm
BREEEEEEVE!
Banner translation
on April 9, 2007 at 1:08 pm
welcome alfonzo to of wrigley.
Wayne Messmer
on April 9, 2007 at 1:08 pm
wtf #11…I already launched the pre-emptive BREEVE!
Borat
on April 9, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Lou Piniella is NOT black!
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I think they could have done better than the kids from Blaine Elementary School for the home opener. They were terrible.
Wayne Messmer
on April 9, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Brave!
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:12 pm
WTF? The Angels and the Indians are playing a 3-game series at Miller Park starting tomorrow night?
SD
on April 9, 2007 at 1:12 pm
What in the samhell is this horse’n’pony parade show going on at Wrigley???
Oil Can Boyd
on April 9, 2007 at 1:14 pm
That’s what happens when you build the stadium next to the ocean.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Over/Under combined homeruns today: 4.5
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I’m very excited about Hester’s Take Me Out to the Ballgame
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Devin Hester can sing take me out to the ballgame in .025 seconds.
Under Armour Sign
on April 9, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I suck.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I would think it’ll take Cubs’ hitters about eight games to adjust to the Under Armour signs on the outfield walls. That extra U will really throw them off.
Bob Costas
on April 9, 2007 at 1:19 pm
You’re excited? Feel these nipples!!!
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:21 pm
I’m so excited. I feel like a little school girl. The white panty hose may have something to do with it, but I’m pretty sure it’s the home opener.
Gabor Bako
on April 9, 2007 at 1:21 pm
I went deep yesterday. Wanna trade for me?
Sam Zell
on April 9, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Alright, which one of you fuckers authorized the new paint on the scoreboard? Let Jerry Colangelo paint the fucking thing.
Jason Mourquis
on April 9, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I hate the fucking under armour sign.
Jim Lampley
on April 9, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I think I just wet my pants.
First Pitch
on April 9, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Same old story.
Michael Barrett's nuts
on April 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Here we go again.
Craig Biggio
on April 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm
3000 hits, 1 nasty old helmet. that’s my goal.
Devin Hester
on April 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm
That would’ve been an inside-the-park homerun if I were running.
Supercuts
on April 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Barrett will be doing our commercials. Well, after it grows out a bit.
Hank White
on April 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm
I’d have had that. I have catlike reflexes.
Burke
on April 9, 2007 at 1:25 pm
I bunted into the bunting. Heh heh. Cool.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:25 pm
I think Lilly is a better spokesman for Supercuts. Mostly because he can probably speak in complete sentences.
Astros' BP
on April 9, 2007 at 1:26 pm
When do we end and the game begin?
Bourke
on April 9, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I FUCKING HATE THE UNDER ARMOUR SIGN.
Wrong Day
on April 9, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Lilly’s are traditional on Easter, not the day after.
The Ted Lilly Bandwagon
on April 9, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Should we jump off yet?
Jim Hendry
on April 9, 2007 at 1:28 pm
A $40 million insurance claim and filing for unemployment just flashed before my eyes.
El Cub-ello
on April 9, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Did I mention the Astros have steak and ribs in the pregame spread every day? Mmmm.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:29 pm
When does Ted’s sister Evangeline start coming to see all of his starts?
Carlos Lee
on April 9, 2007 at 1:30 pm
I’ll be hitting 300 soon….pounds that is.
Teddy Roselilly
on April 9, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Some people want to be the man in the arena.
Alfonso Soriano
on April 9, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Who’s ready for a popout?
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 1:32 pm
who is ready to a ground out to the right side?
3rd base lawn chair
on April 9, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Nice to see that the Astros are making good use of me too.
Cliff Floyd
on April 9, 2007 at 1:33 pm
10-24, 2 HR v. Woody.
Woody Williams wears my ass like a hat.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Who’s pitching for the ‘Stros, Paul Kilgus?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:33 pm
I think it’s a bit early to start freaking out about Lilly.
Fonz's first Wrigley hit
on April 9, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Looks like a line drive in the box score.
grogg
on April 9, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Almost 48, almost.
The Fonz
on April 9, 2007 at 1:34 pm
suck it #48
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 1:34 pm
6-4-3 or 4-3-6?
Lou Brown
on April 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm
You may run like Mays…
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I hate announcers talking about players checking out things like the cut of the grass or the angle of the foul line dirt
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Len: “Nice to hear that Jock got a good reception from the fans in introductions.”
That’s because his mother threatened to beat up anybody who booed.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:36 pm
If they keep throwing over, they’ll pick Alfonso off.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I hate announcers period.
Steve Stone
on April 9, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Pre,
I do, too. Hey, how’s the visibility?
BC
on April 9, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Since I can’t see, are the Cubs going with the blue tops or pinstripes in the opener today?
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm
The Cubs have hammered the ball this inning.
If a hammer sent objects 312 feet straight into the air.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm
BC, didnt you get the memo. there are no more blue tops. just home pinstripes and road greys.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Nah, they’ve mandated home whites and grey road jerseys this year apparently
Blue Tops
on April 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Like Dusty, we’re history dude.
Milo Hamilton
on April 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Haray Caray still sucks.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
its more of an under hand hammer.
Soft Fly Balls
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
That’s how we’re going to win today. Well, until the outfielders start playing 10 feet behind the infielders.
Soft fly ball to right fielder Jason Lane
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
I’m the new black.
Clue Haywood
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
You hit the shit out of that one.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
does that make my blue prior jersey a “throw back”
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
nice controlled swing by Ram there.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:39 pm
The next time I see John McDonough the shirt is off and the hug is on. I hated those blue tops.
You rarely see a batter strike out and then dry hump home plate like E-ramis just did.
Aramis Ramirez
on April 9, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Yuck
Cornelius Clifford Floyd
on April 9, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Prepare the curtain call bitches! I’m going Sheffield!
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:40 pm
I think it makes your blue prior jersey a “throw away”
Cornelius Clifford Floyd
on April 9, 2007 at 1:40 pm
I didn’t say which inning.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:40 pm
The Rapist steps up to the plate…
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Yeah that blue Prior jersey is a throwback. Throw it back in the dumpster.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:42 pm
RLISP, bitches.
Lou Pinella Steam-o-meter
on April 9, 2007 at 1:43 pm
+1
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:43 pm
what would you rather have. a blue prior jersey or a blue corey patterson jersey?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Corey for sure. He is so damn sexy.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm
A blue Maddux jersey.
WGN Snoop Cam
on April 9, 2007 at 1:45 pm
They really installed us in the booth to keep Bob from masturbating as often during games.
Qunitero
on April 9, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Where the hell did I come from?
Lilly
on April 9, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Seven pitch inning doges.
Brad Ausmus's Butt
on April 9, 2007 at 1:46 pm
you came from me #89 muhahaha!
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:46 pm
> They really installed us in the booth to keep Bob from masturbating as often during games.
I was wondering why he was wearing mittens.
Ted Lilly
on April 9, 2007 at 1:47 pm
7 pitches, bitches. And no, that isn’t a challenge to my team to do better, you idiots.
Don Imus
on April 9, 2007 at 1:48 pm
I’m sorry.
Barrett
on April 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm
don’t drop me from you fantasy teams yet bitches.
Len
on April 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm
“Tough day in Milwaukee yesterday for Mark DeRosa. Not only did he go 0-4, but he took the infamous Golden Shower.”
“I mean, Sombrero.”
Mark OfRose
on April 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm
According to MLB Gameday I have no homers or ribbies.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm
#96: Moises is back?
John McDonough
on April 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Is it a coincidence that we waited for Sharon Panozzo to leave before we changed the carpet in the clubhouse?
If I weren’t a highly dignified team president I’d say something about how she’d have just munched on it. So I won’t say that.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I hope a foul ball hits the camera man with the stocking cap overtop of a baseball cap in the face.
Mark OfRose
on April 9, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Reverting back to the mean, bitches.
Ponderosa
on April 9, 2007 at 1:51 pm
D’oh
Rutgers Women's Team
on April 9, 2007 at 1:51 pm
You were right about us, #94. We look like extras from “The Longest Yard.”
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:51 pm
> According to MLB Gameday I have no homers or ribbies.
Because, really, who could’ve guessed?
Pizza Pizza
on April 9, 2007 at 1:51 pm
out out
Pizza Pizza
on April 9, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Me!
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Hey, any jews in here? Can I eat bread yet?
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 1:54 pm
You can always eat unleavened bread.
Lovie
on April 9, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Hi len, Rex Grossman is our Quarterback. Rex Grossman is our quarterback. I love wrigley field. Rex Grossman is our quarterback.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Lovie’s singing too?
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I hate Craig Biggio so much.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I wonder where Tony is?
Len
on April 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Let’s go to that film of you hugging another man, Lovie. What’s up with this?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm
You’ve got to play the players that give you the best chance to win and that’s what we did with Rex
Lilly
on April 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I’m on a roll. Bitches.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm
> Lovie’s singing too?
And a familiar tune at that.
Tony Dungy
on April 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I have to agree that Lovie played the QB that gave us the best chance to win.
We’re running out of the shotgun next year. I’m going to light it up!
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I missed the first inning, but Lilly looks pretty good.
Lilly
on April 9, 2007 at 1:59 pm
How ’bout some run support, assholes!
Some Cub offense
on April 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Time for me.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm
ehhhhh! It’s the Fonz.
Imodium AD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I am run support for assholes
Borat Sagdiyev
on April 9, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I like Alfonse Sorianoos.
Borat
on April 9, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Chocolate face
Punch
on April 9, 2007 at 2:02 pm
This offense has lacked me for the most part.
andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:02 pm
If you missed the first two hitters, Lilly looks pretty good.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:02 pm
I need to get a Soriano bat for my 16″ league.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Will there be a sausage race for the LAA CLE series at miller park?
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:04 pm
There better be, otherwise who would show up, 133?
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I don’t care what the numbers say, Jock was awful last year, and is well on his way to being awful again.
Negative
on April 9, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Andy has a lot of me for his age.
The Count
on April 9, 2007 at 2:06 pm
1…
2…
3 Batters out!
Ah! Hah! Hah! Hah!
Positive
on April 9, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I positive that jock sucks. For any age.
Marriage
on April 9, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Andy has a lot of me for this far along the road to forever together.
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I really have no business batting second. Or anywhere else for that matter.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I don’t care what YOU say. Jock was not awful last year and won’t be this year.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Put in that redheaded fellow.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Jock is good hitter if he only faces righties. He only bats #2 against righties.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
You’re all racists.
Groundskeepers
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
These guys are shitty.
Negative
on April 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Positive is not supposed to me. You’re a positive imposter.
Douche B
on April 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Anyone know if there’s some golf on today?
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm
shut up vanilla face.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Jock isn’t as bad as you all think he is. He’s far better than the homey Jeromy Burnitz.
Hey #147
on April 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm
what does the b stand for?
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I can’t negative Jock in this game yet. At the risk of sounding like a cliche, at least he’s hit the ball hard in both at-bats (sharp line-out and warning track fly-out).
Rickie Weeks
on April 9, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Andy’s full of shit anyway.
Fat Elvis
on April 9, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Has left the building.
Don Imus
on April 9, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I love Jock Jones! Especially since Thursday.
The B in 147
on April 9, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Breath.
Douche B
on April 9, 2007 at 2:11 pm
The B is for BYOBB
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Hey DPap. Take your logic and evidence and “facts” elsewhere. Jock is a poopy head. got it.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Great throw from the man who isn’t awful.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm
I’m shocked that Lee tested Joock’s rifle arm.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm
When Fat Carlos turns a single into a double on you, you know you blow. You could tell Jock had no idea he was running.
Sigh.
MLB Gameday
on April 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm
I took a dump. What’s going on in the game?
Carlos Lee
on April 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm
They don’t call me el cebolla for nothing. I run like a onion bitches. (a speedy onion).
Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm
I just said “Alright” when C-Lee doubled. Aren’t the Cubs up?
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Scratch that comment about Jock. He just let Taco Lee rumble to second on his terrible throw.
Ron Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I just cheered for Houston. No idea why. I’m sure I was confused or something.
Ron Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I just said “all right” after Carlos Lee’s double. Do I have my Lees mixed up?
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Is Mike “Snow Job” Hargrove running MLB Gameday or what?
Ron Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:15 pm
I’m just happy that jock didn’t spike the ball into the ground and bounce it 14 thousasnd times to 2b.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I’m not sure about Santo as I’m watching on TV, but I think it’s a fair assumption that he’s confused.
Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:18 pm
All right!
This Old Cub
on April 9, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Pat, this Bill Lee kid we got is a good looking lefty.
Ron Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Ensberg RBI single! OOOH YEAH BABY! HOLLLA!
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Where was that? Looked like a good pitch.
Kip Wells
on April 9, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Who died and made me the ace of the Cardinals’ rotation?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:21 pm
that ball 4 looked pretty good compared to some of the pitches he’s called strikes for Woody
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Come on Teddy Ballgame. Show us some of your trademark “grit.”
Prop Joe
on April 9, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Not usually one to bitch about umps, but so far it has hurt. On both Astros RBIs Lilly has gotten squeezed with two strikes, whereas when Rammy was up with 1st and 3rd he had to reach for a pitch in the 3rd base dugout after the ump called the second stike well off the corner
Braden Looper
on April 9, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I did Kip
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 2:22 pm
It might be a good time for a patented Piniella meltdown. Just sayin’.
Ted Lilly
on April 9, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I just hit a guy on 0-2? Did Todd Wellemeyer just take over my body?
Jenny Craig
on April 9, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I think there’s a weight limit to play for the Astros. You have to weigh at LEAST 200 lbs.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:24 pm
It’s never a bad time for a Piniella meltdown.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Lilly is getting key-holed here. Where is the Hard-on Williams strikezone?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm
First the ump calls a terrible strike zone, then he tries to get in Barret’s way.
Also, it’s crazy how many foul balls have stayed in play. I blame global warming
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Ted gets woody to pop out. tee hee hee.
The Fonz
on April 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I have the shittiest 7 game hitting streak ever
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Narrowly averts the dreaded Woody Salami
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Guh.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:28 pm
So Len and Bob got to play two songs at HoB in return for sucking their cock every broadcast?
Some Cub Offense
on April 9, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Here I come, female doges.
Wind
on April 9, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Where am I blowing?
Adam Everett
on April 9, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Um. Um. Erh. Uh. Wha happen?
CB Bucknor
on April 9, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I’m probably responsible for this somehow.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Yahoo says that Adam Everett made an error. But that can’t be right. Adam Everett NEVER makes an error!
Prop Joe
on April 9, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Alright i call bullshit. That first pitch to Rammy was a ball every single time when TR Lilly threw it
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:30 pm
The wind at last check was blowing in from right.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Let’s get our rape on
Oy...
on April 9, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Analyst suggests another potential Cubs bidder
(Crain’s)  Throw another name onto the lengthening list of potential Cubs buyers.
Jeff Smulyan, a former Major League Baseball owner whose Emmis Communications Corp. owns two Chicago radio stations, was identified Monday as a possible Cubs bidder by an analyst who follows Indianapolis-based Emmis.
In a report, Credit Suisse analyst John Klim cited four factors that could make Mr. Smulyan “a very likely bidder†for the Cubs, including his long-standing interest in baseball, evidenced most recently by his failed effort last year to buy the Washington Nationals.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I don’t know where the wind’s blowing. But I know where the Cubs’ offense is blowing.
Lou
on April 9, 2007 at 2:31 pm
“nose, chin. nose, chin, hat.
NOSE CHIN! Dammit!”
Tears In Our Eyes
on April 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Ryan O’Malley 2006 Never Forget
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Commissioner Bud’s not a Smulyan fan from back when he owned the Mariners. He made sure that Smulyan’s Nat’s bid died.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I don’t like to complain about it, but the strike zone differences are idiotic
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Where is the fucking strike zone today. seriously.
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Heh….now Santo’s even bitching about the strike zone.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Oh, I need to know, is Aramis wearing his baclava and mittens again?
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:33 pm
The Astros catcher looks like he’s about 12 pounds away from being a Molina brother.
Chuck
on April 9, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Any of the names bandying themselves about in the media aren’t getting the team. That includes Smyoolan and BTS’s fave Colangelo.
Dusty
on April 9, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Something’s wrong here. WGN says that several Cubs’ players have on base averages that aren’t the same as their batting average. How is this possible?
SD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Guys. Honestly. About this umpire bitching.
Allow me to add myself to the list!
Al Yellon
on April 9, 2007 at 2:36 pm
We’re going to pool our resources at BCB and buy the Cubs! So far we have 19 dollars and whatever Julie can get for her New Kids On the Block memorabilia collection.
Ponderosa
on April 9, 2007 at 2:36 pm
I’ve lost the magic.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:37 pm
DeRosa hit that one hard.
Double Switch Dusty
on April 9, 2007 at 2:38 pm
OBP? Too much base clogging.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:38 pm
yawn. good. yawn. game. yawn. so far.
how’s your fantasy team chuck?
Todd Walker
on April 9, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Miss me, bitches?
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 2:38 pm
How hard?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:39 pm
according to gameday, I want to kill James Hoye
Umpires: HP: James Hoye. 1B: Mike Reilly. 2B: Jeff Kellogg. 3B: Eric Cooper
Bitches
on April 9, 2007 at 2:39 pm
No, not particularly, Todd.
Keith Olberman
on April 9, 2007 at 2:40 pm
He hit the ball reeeal hard.
1-5 Astros
on April 9, 2007 at 2:40 pm
How did the CUBS win 3?
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Len and Bob are discussing if Craig Biggio is a first-ballot hall of famer.
Bob thinks he is.
Bob should be reminded that Ryne Sandberg was not.
So somebody needs to be fucking themself right now.
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Bitches.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Craptastic.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I’d say it was a 6 on the “hard” scale, CT.
Joe Morgan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Well Andy, one of the things you can learn from playing the game (not watching it like you) is that Craig Biggio plays the game the right way.
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Ron Santo just said Chris Burke is the Astros best hitter. Anything that slights eye-liner wearing, fat Lance Berkman is truthful in my book.
E-harmony commercial
on April 9, 2007 at 2:43 pm
“It’s very hard to describe yourself in three or four sentences.”
Oh, come on, buddy. How hard would it be.
I’m a fat, bald lisping loser. I live in the basement of my parents’ house. I once met the guy from To Catch a Predator when I took some Mike’s Hard Lemonade over to a girl’s house to give her some “counseling.”
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Is that PECOTA’s scalre or BWAA’s?
Lance Berkman
on April 9, 2007 at 2:44 pm
On the bright side. I have not yet pretended to get a pitch today.
Craig Biggio
on April 9, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I have won a few playoff series. Ryno did not. I played straight through my whole career. Sandberg did not.
Pat Hughes
on April 9, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Next inning I’ll go do some work on my “blog”, Len. Anybody have a book of matches for when I’m done?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:45 pm
In Brenley’s defense, he said he thought Biggio was but that it’s hard to tell with the way they vote. I think if you asked Brenley he’d say that Sandberg should have been a first balloter also
This is...
on April 9, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Woody Fuckign Williams! Not Don Drysdale!
Chip Caray
on April 9, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Let me tell you something, gang. Craig Biggio TASTES like a Hall of Famer.
Swallow after swallow.
Podcast Studio Jokes
on April 9, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Oh man. We never get old do we.
The Alfonso Soriano Era
on April 9, 2007 at 2:48 pm
When do I begin?
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Andy Richter’s scale, CT.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 2:48 pm
#234 has got my vote for post of the day so far.
#236
on April 9, 2007 at 2:49 pm
When it’s not cold enough to snow.
Borat
on April 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm
A Biggio vs. Sandberg debate sounds like a good idea pause NOT!
Racist
on April 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm
What is that supposed to mean, #239 aka Dusty Baker in a mask???
$138 Million Well Spent
on April 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Yup.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm
The good thing about the Beege is . . . nothing. I hope he gets beaned in his midget head.
3-1 pitch popup
on April 9, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Morgan Ensberg bats like a Cub.
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’m partial to #231 myself.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 2:52 pm
In related news, the Asstrolls are retiring Bagwell’s number this year commemorating the retiring of his shoulder some 3 and a half years ago.
So, I guess it’s appropriate to say, “Who died and made James Hoye an MLB umpire?”
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Only if I can be on top Jules.
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Only if I can be on top Jules, I don’t think I could support you.
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Fu ck you, Andy.
Black Eyed Crowes
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Yeah Jock! Let’s get it started!
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I tried to google Hoye and all I could find was Leyland getting ejected for arguing balls and strikes
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Was Burke playing Jock deep or shading him to the right?
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
OK, lets get this shit going baby. Come on wit it bitches.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Geez, Jock’s awful. I’m surprised he didn’t trip when he rounded first, get tagged out, and give everyone at Wrigley Field the AIDS virus.
DLee
on April 9, 2007 at 2:58 pm
How do I ground out to third and leave Jacque on first?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Yeah, JD. My average is all the way up to .200 now.
Afternoon everybody!
on April 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm
CLIFF!!!!!
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Julie has a big, fat ass.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:00 pm
he was at second
HIV
on April 9, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Jock is so bad, even I’m afraid of catching him.
E-Ramis
on April 9, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I’m a singles-hitting MACHINE.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:01 pm
you’re fucking kidding me on that strike to Floyd
James Hoye
on April 9, 2007 at 3:02 pm
FUCK THIS BITCHASS
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:02 pm
That’s higher than Michael Young, Jim Thome, Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard, Anduw Jones, etc.
But, yeah, you made a good point, #263.
Supercuts
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Discounts!
SD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Megalol at Rami stopping at 3rd
MLB Gameday
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I crapped out again. What’s going on?
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Yay for Jody Berut! Great trade.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
On the plus side, Ram is running well this year. I’ve never been this happy about another man’s groin muscles
cubbiebluestew
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
CT:
April 9th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Oh, I need to know, is Aramis wearing his baclava and mittens again?
He is wearing his baclava around his waistline
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Holy shit……Ramirez scored from first on a double?!
Berut
on April 9, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I just hit. And hit. And hit. Bitch.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 3:04 pm
JD is using sophistry again.
I can’t wait until and enraged music snob with a stinky beard leaps out of the right field bleachers to attach James Hoye.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 3:05 pm
. . . Then I get hit in the balls and am out for the year.
David Faustino
on April 9, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Can I get paid in Chicken McNuggets? I’m so hungry…
Jim Edmonds
on April 9, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Braden Looper:
April 9th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I did Kip
No, I did Kip.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:06 pm
attach him to what CT?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Barret hit a double to right, scored Ram from 1st.
Also, they should give a Nobel Prize to whatever genius surgeon was able to cut Quato out of the host body so he could be our 3B coach.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Have we had a Slaky sighting in RF?
Lou Piniella
on April 9, 2007 at 3:09 pm
What the fuck did Barrett just do there?
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:09 pm
It’s too bad Lidge isn’t the Asstrolls closer anymore. I’ve heard he can really get an offense going late in the game.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:09 pm
That’s good baseball. Fat catcher.check swing. strikeout. get a single out it.
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Give Berut a little credit and then he fucks you.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Dan, the closest sharp object.
Mr. Barrett
on April 9, 2007 at 3:10 pm
He can hurt you so many ways.
Berut
on April 9, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I couldn’t find the ball after a check swing K. Lilly actually came and picked it up near home and threw wide of first pulling Lee off the bag.
How Cub is taht?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Why did Lilly try and kick that ball????
Woody
on April 9, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’m a crafty fucker.
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Wooooo! From bad to Wuertz time!
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Michael Wuertz.
I remained shocked every time I see this name.
Dusty
on April 9, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Double switch there. Good move. Should have brought Neifi in instead of Theriot, though.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I like wuertz more than Ohman, Dumpster, and Eyre. Of course, that’s not saying much
Wuretz
on April 9, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I’ve got good stuff #297. get used to me.
Corky Thatcher
on April 9, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Dat waf no stwike!
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm
4 pitches for 2 outs so far?
Really?
Starland Vocal Band
on April 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Whoever the band is playing the gay WGN top of the seventh music sounds like us.
Santo
on April 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Bases loaded for Lee. All right!
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
They showed a three ring binder behind Larry Rothschild with Houston Astros on it. You’d think it was full of hit charts. Really, it’s just some Houston takeout menus.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
oh fuck, Lee with the bases loaded. This can’t end well
Carlos Lee
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I weeell heeet the ball very far.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I don’t see this ending well.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
what happened to benny cadahia?
Dusty
on April 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm
That is some serious cloggage on the bases. They should have declined the intentional walk.
MLB Gameday
on April 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I am serious screwed up right now.
El Cebolla
on April 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I’m angry
Len
on April 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Did I just say, “Kick in the tutu?”
Michael Wuertz's Nuts
on April 9, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Big as churchbells, baby!
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Amazing. A alumnus of the U can count to three. I am stunned.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Nice job by Weurtz by inducing the ground out to CESAR! at SS. Good job by Barrett blocking balls, too.
Devin Hester
on April 9, 2007 at 3:19 pm
All right, on the count of three, we’re gonna sing a song!
Houston take out menus? Shit! Call Andy. He knows where in Houston to order pizzas.
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 3:25 pm
hah! I am not the first Cub to get booed this year! Take that you little white schmuck!
Izturis
on April 9, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Me!
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Gritty ain’t gettin the bat on the ball, either.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Hester is a man of many many words.
Theriot strikes out.
Ryan Theriot
on April 9, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Execution of the sac bunt right out of the Chicago Cubs Official Employee Manual.
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 3:26 pm
He must have showered for church, yesterday. Washed off all the grit.
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Get the curtain call ready, bitches! It’s hero time.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:26 pm
is hester stoned? he’s got the giggles.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:26 pm
soriano grounds to 3rd, izturus out at 2nd, soriano beats out the throw.
Hester is magnificent.
Devin
on April 9, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Jim Carrey? The guy is hir-larious.
Hester
on April 9, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Jim Carey is harrilarious.
Fonsie
on April 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Swipe.
Devin Hester
on April 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm
DogonFire: naaaaah bamalos daaaai
DogonFire: bnaaaaaaaaah but torsaend wedih
DogonFire: esa gretasperians man it mah ferstam
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Holy shit is Soriano fast.
3-3.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Everytime I’ve heard Hester he’s sounded like this. I love him like all Bears fans, but he sounds like he’s borderline retarded. Maybe he is just nervious on TV.
Jones positives an infield single and Soriano scores from 2nd
Jock
on April 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Gettin it done bitches. I hit that one straight down baby.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Oh… BEEEEG!
$136 Million
on April 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Miss me, bitches?
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
How the hell do you score from second on an infield single??!?!
I shirtless positive Mike Quade.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Yes, Devin is absolutely stoned.
Soriano’s wheels got 100 percent of that run.
He beat the relay throw on the double play grounder.
Stole second.
Scored from second on an infield hit.
Wow.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:31 pm
it was bounced off the plate high over the pitcher, throw to 1st was late but wasn’t handled very well, but it still wasn’t close at home.
Soriano is fast.
Hall of Famer Craig Biggio
on April 9, 2007 at 3:31 pm
My ill advised throw on the infield chopper cost us that run. Not only was it really late, but I handcuffed Fat Elvis with the throw and it bounced away from him.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Speed never slumps, y’all.
Alf
on April 9, 2007 at 3:32 pm
I’m so fucking fast
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:32 pm
What’s up with Gameday having pitch-by-pitch fields for “SPD,” “BRK” and “PFX” but not using them?
Joniak
on April 9, 2007 at 3:32 pm
DEVIN HESTER YOU ARE RI-DICULOUS!
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:33 pm
I know Hester sounds stoned, but he sounds like this after Bears games when I’m sure he’s not stoned.
$138 Million Well Spent
on April 9, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Double Yup.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I would assume that gameday only uses those fields for games America cares about, like the Red Sox and Yankees games.
Bears Trainer Fred Caito
on April 9, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Don’t be so sure Pre.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Automatic ball? Howry misbehaving?
Sam Zell
on April 9, 2007 at 3:35 pm
I’m selling the Cubs but leasing Wrigley Field and Soriano’s legs.
Leadoff double
on April 9, 2007 at 3:36 pm
This never gets old.
Jeff Joniak
on April 9, 2007 at 3:36 pm
ALFONSO SORIANO YOU..ARE…shit, wrong game.
Borat
on April 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm
That is a KNOT hole in RF.
Chippy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Somewhere, I’m weeping alone. In the mirror. With a hairbrush. And a double headed dildo with teh Beege’s little sun logo that he wears on his hat on it.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Big power hitter Humberto “Humbert Humbert” Quintero in the hole, Bob. Let’s double someone up.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Big K there.
Apex
on April 9, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Got Salad?
Cub Fan in PA
on April 9, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Gameday made it look like BSB was getting squeezed. Was he?
Michael Barrett
on April 9, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I don’t provide a whole lot of help for my pitchers, so I?
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:41 pm
He certainly got squeezed on that one.
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Manageable wild pitch? Or shitty defense by Berut?
Home Plate Umpire
on April 9, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Ron Santo hates me.
Lou
on April 9, 2007 at 3:41 pm
I’m teaching Mr. Umpire some new words.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:42 pm
That’s a strike if I ever saw one.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:42 pm
My TV’s broken. On it, Adam Everett just hit a home run.
I am a Commie. And I probably kick puppies. I am destined to a life in Hell.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Adam f u c k i n g Everett?
Cub Fan in PA
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Is it too early to drag Eyre and Howry behind the shed and spend two bullets?
Brown Spot Bob
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Sploosh sploosh!
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
was that adam everett? wtf.
SD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
That’s Cubs baseball.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
What the fuk?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Santo isn’t the only one who hates the asscastle behind the plate
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:44 pm
That was a shit pitch, but Bob got put in a tough spot. His catcher can’t handle a slider in the dirt with a runner at third, and the ump wouldn’t give him a call on either corner.
Still, you ought to be able to keep that big eared dork in the park, right?
BSB
on April 9, 2007 at 3:44 pm
That’s Big Spot Bob to you. Am I getting rocked or what?
There’s this list called the “Bottom 126,” and I have a clause in my contract offering me $$$ if I make any all-time Cubs list.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:46 pm
dont worry. lidge is getting ready.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:47 pm
I don’t want to defend Howry, because I don’t like him, but it’s hard to fault him for getting one over the plate in that instance when everything else is a fucking ball
Lou Piniella
on April 9, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Lou: So, Mr. Umpire, you give blowjobs with your eyes closed?
Ump: What the hell are you talking about Lou?
Lou: Well, Everett’s cock is obviously in your mouth, and you missed two fucking strikes that 40,000 people in this ballpark saw.
Andy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:48 pm
If you want, give Barrett a pass on the pitch he botched last inning. But he’s done it three other times today.
JD
on April 9, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I agree, SD. He did everything right on that one. It’s not his fault the ball took a funky bounce. He needs to start eating more, though. If he was wider or fatter, then that ball would’ve just stuck. Maybe he should get on the “Eyre” workout plan.
Cub Bullpen
on April 9, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Sorry, pre. But with 8 and 9 coming up, less than 2 outs, and 1st base open, would walking Everrett kill you?
Struggling Closers
on April 9, 2007 at 3:49 pm
The Cubs are the cure for what ails all of us.
Dan Wheeler
on April 9, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Woo Hoo, I’m the Astros’ closer today!
Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you've already said that!
on April 9, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Keep getting this for non-duplicated comments. I wanted to post as 420 with the message reading 420 for the post #420, but no, won’t have it.
Matt White
on April 9, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I really suck
CT
on April 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm
You know what, if you’re afraid to pitch to Adam Everrett, you don’t belong in the majors.
Cliff Floyd
on April 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Who’s ready for some waveland action?
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I swear, I’ll never call you Cornelius again, Clifford, if you can just hit the ball farther than Nancy Everett.
Wasn’t I the phrase you saw with duplicated messages?
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Walking Everrett wouldn’t kill you, but a low fastball to Everett in the cold with the wind blowing isn’t a crime. I mean, the HR sucked, I don’t like Howry, but it wasn’t a terrible pitch.
Game Over
on April 9, 2007 at 3:52 pm
G’nite, everybody.
Tailor-Made DP Ball
on April 9, 2007 at 3:52 pm
I’m back bitches
Cliff Floyd
on April 9, 2007 at 3:53 pm
I didn’t mean today.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Rape it, Clifton
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Fuck you, Everett.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:54 pm
(faahkk)
Gaycaster
on April 9, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Floyd grounds into a DP, totally the ump’s fault again.
Philadelphia Phillies
on April 9, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Could be worse, you could be us.
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Fuck.
Rick White
on April 9, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Check out what rick white has got on the tongue of his shoe.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Izturis is clutch, right?
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I forgot what it felt like to waste an afternoon. Welcome back cubs.
Todd Gak
on April 9, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Yes, Izturis is dutch.
The Riot
on April 9, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I’m prepping for my walk-off HR pose already. Hey….if Everett can do it, why can’t I?
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Time for some 9th inning Ninjutsu?
Eyre + Howry
on April 9, 2007 at 3:57 pm
ruining the season
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 3:57 pm
looks like an adidas or mizuno logo
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Gameday has Murton switching from left field to left field twice.
Did we trade Lou for LaRussa over the holiday weekend?
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 3:59 pm
It appears we will see the Wheel dog. Hopefully we can make him a hubcap puppy.
Fat Lance
on April 9, 2007 at 3:59 pm
rough day.
Double Switch Dusty
on April 9, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Lou is doing it right dude.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 4:00 pm
You know how I can tell that the Cubs were losing?
Dumpster went 1-2-3 in the 9th
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I can’t help but wonder what Wood would look like late in a ball game like this. I hate that pussy arm/shoulder of his.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Rally Carp Time
Dusty Baker
on April 9, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Murton? Cesar? Theriot?
Who let the peewees in this game?
Young guys got no grit, dudes.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I’m sure Ward will hit for pizza
Generallissimo Pujols
on April 9, 2007 at 4:03 pm
So I’ve officially ruined Brad Lidge’s career now?
therick711
on April 9, 2007 at 4:03 pm
and eat for him too.
Dusty Baker
on April 9, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Gameday’s fucked. As is day game.
Matt Murton
on April 9, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I smoked that. Of course, it was ball four.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 4:05 pm
why the hell do you let pizza hit here?
Little Caesar
on April 9, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I am a switch-hitting outs machine
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Gameday has Lance Berman batting fourth in the top of the ninth with 3 out right now.
Dan
on April 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm
ward is getting paid in pizza
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Berkman
Cubs can't serve beer anymore
on April 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm
They’re about to lose the opener at Wrigley.
Get it, “opener!” Hah!
DPappy
on April 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Because the alternative is putting Cedeno in the field for a tie ballgame.
Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad outcome at this point in the game.
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 4:07 pm
White Riot, I want a Riot, White Riot, Riot of my own
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Murton got 3 quick balls, let 2 low bordeline strikes go, and then hit a possibly high fastball very hard to Lee for out 1.
Then Lou let pizza hit and that was an obvious out on a tapper in the infield.
Now ward is pinch hitting
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Scratch that…
Daryle?
With a whimper
on April 9, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Guh.
Pre
on April 9, 2007 at 4:08 pm
ward lines out to SS, cubs lose
Chinese Dudes
on April 9, 2007 at 4:09 pm
they’re still shitty
FUCF
on April 9, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Lines out to Everett.
(Natch)
Struggling Closers
on April 9, 2007 at 4:10 pm
We heart teh Ucbs!
Post
on April 9, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Double Guh.
The Department of Homeland Security
on April 9, 2007 at 5:35 pm
The LOU-RAGE-O-MEETER has been moved
Green:placid pre-game interviews confusing pinstripes for plaid and calling it ivory instead of ivy, butt patting Alan Trammel in the dugout, casual slouching position on the dugout
to the following
Yellow: polite post loss interview that is just tense enough to make reporters shit themselves out of asking difficult questions, peeking his head out of his zipped up collar to bark from his seat mildly at the ump from his seat.
lineups
1. The Fonz
2. Jock
3. D-Lee
4. Manny’s cousin being Manny’s cousin
5. Cliff Huxtable
6. Bear it
7. Ponderosa
8. Pizza Pizza
9. Theodore Roosevelt Lilly
Ass Trolls
1. Beeege
2. Chris Burp
3. Fat Elvis
4. El Cebolla
5. Morgan Hindenberg
6. Jason Lame
7. Mount Everett
8. Quintero (who?)
9. Morning Woody Williams
Who knew?
Mark DeRosa is greatest ever. MDR!
Can I get some recognition here? TR Lilly just doesn’t quite do it for me.
Jock in the two-hole? Why not just fuck yourself in the poo-hole?
BREEVE!
It appears that “LOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” is the new “ALOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.
Hitting 2nd again? Why Lou, why?
I’m on the pre-game show with the new Andy Masur….and I sound like Michael Jackson. Who knew??
wayne, how about changing it up a little this year? maybe drop the trademark ascending of the Breeeeve! just once. please?
BREEEEEEVE!
welcome alfonzo to of wrigley.
wtf #11…I already launched the pre-emptive BREEVE!
Lou Piniella is NOT black!
I think they could have done better than the kids from Blaine Elementary School for the home opener. They were terrible.
Brave!
WTF? The Angels and the Indians are playing a 3-game series at Miller Park starting tomorrow night?
What in the samhell is this horse’n’pony parade show going on at Wrigley???
That’s what happens when you build the stadium next to the ocean.
Over/Under combined homeruns today: 4.5
I’m very excited about Hester’s Take Me Out to the Ballgame
Devin Hester can sing take me out to the ballgame in .025 seconds.
I suck.
I would think it’ll take Cubs’ hitters about eight games to adjust to the Under Armour signs on the outfield walls. That extra U will really throw them off.
You’re excited? Feel these nipples!!!
I’m so excited. I feel like a little school girl. The white panty hose may have something to do with it, but I’m pretty sure it’s the home opener.
I went deep yesterday. Wanna trade for me?
Alright, which one of you fuckers authorized the new paint on the scoreboard? Let Jerry Colangelo paint the fucking thing.
I hate the fucking under armour sign.
I think I just wet my pants.
Same old story.
Here we go again.
3000 hits, 1 nasty old helmet. that’s my goal.
That would’ve been an inside-the-park homerun if I were running.
Barrett will be doing our commercials. Well, after it grows out a bit.
I’d have had that. I have catlike reflexes.
I bunted into the bunting. Heh heh. Cool.
I think Lilly is a better spokesman for Supercuts. Mostly because he can probably speak in complete sentences.
When do we end and the game begin?
I FUCKING HATE THE UNDER ARMOUR SIGN.
Lilly’s are traditional on Easter, not the day after.
Should we jump off yet?
A $40 million insurance claim and filing for unemployment just flashed before my eyes.
Did I mention the Astros have steak and ribs in the pregame spread every day? Mmmm.
When does Ted’s sister Evangeline start coming to see all of his starts?
I’ll be hitting 300 soon….pounds that is.
Some people want to be the man in the arena.
Who’s ready for a popout?
who is ready to a ground out to the right side?
Nice to see that the Astros are making good use of me too.
10-24, 2 HR v. Woody.
Woody Williams wears my ass like a hat.
Who’s pitching for the ‘Stros, Paul Kilgus?
I think it’s a bit early to start freaking out about Lilly.
Looks like a line drive in the box score.
Almost 48, almost.
suck it #48
6-4-3 or 4-3-6?
You may run like Mays…
I hate announcers talking about players checking out things like the cut of the grass or the angle of the foul line dirt
Len: “Nice to hear that Jock got a good reception from the fans in introductions.”
That’s because his mother threatened to beat up anybody who booed.
If they keep throwing over, they’ll pick Alfonso off.
I hate announcers period.
Pre,
I do, too. Hey, how’s the visibility?
Since I can’t see, are the Cubs going with the blue tops or pinstripes in the opener today?
The Cubs have hammered the ball this inning.
If a hammer sent objects 312 feet straight into the air.
BC, didnt you get the memo. there are no more blue tops. just home pinstripes and road greys.
Nah, they’ve mandated home whites and grey road jerseys this year apparently
Like Dusty, we’re history dude.
Haray Caray still sucks.
its more of an under hand hammer.
That’s how we’re going to win today. Well, until the outfielders start playing 10 feet behind the infielders.
I’m the new black.
You hit the shit out of that one.
does that make my blue prior jersey a “throw back”
nice controlled swing by Ram there.
The next time I see John McDonough the shirt is off and the hug is on. I hated those blue tops.
You rarely see a batter strike out and then dry hump home plate like E-ramis just did.
Yuck
Prepare the curtain call bitches! I’m going Sheffield!
I think it makes your blue prior jersey a “throw away”
I didn’t say which inning.
The Rapist steps up to the plate…
Yeah that blue Prior jersey is a throwback. Throw it back in the dumpster.
RLISP, bitches.
+1
what would you rather have. a blue prior jersey or a blue corey patterson jersey?
Corey for sure. He is so damn sexy.
A blue Maddux jersey.
They really installed us in the booth to keep Bob from masturbating as often during games.
Where the hell did I come from?
Seven pitch inning doges.
you came from me #89 muhahaha!
> They really installed us in the booth to keep Bob from masturbating as often during games.
I was wondering why he was wearing mittens.
7 pitches, bitches. And no, that isn’t a challenge to my team to do better, you idiots.
I’m sorry.
don’t drop me from you fantasy teams yet bitches.
“Tough day in Milwaukee yesterday for Mark DeRosa. Not only did he go 0-4, but he took the infamous Golden Shower.”
“I mean, Sombrero.”
According to MLB Gameday I have no homers or ribbies.
#96: Moises is back?
Is it a coincidence that we waited for Sharon Panozzo to leave before we changed the carpet in the clubhouse?
If I weren’t a highly dignified team president I’d say something about how she’d have just munched on it. So I won’t say that.
I hope a foul ball hits the camera man with the stocking cap overtop of a baseball cap in the face.
Reverting back to the mean, bitches.
D’oh
You were right about us, #94. We look like extras from “The Longest Yard.”
> According to MLB Gameday I have no homers or ribbies.
Because, really, who could’ve guessed?
out out
Me!
Hey, any jews in here? Can I eat bread yet?
You can always eat unleavened bread.
Hi len, Rex Grossman is our Quarterback. Rex Grossman is our quarterback. I love wrigley field. Rex Grossman is our quarterback.
Lovie’s singing too?
I hate Craig Biggio so much.
I wonder where Tony is?
Let’s go to that film of you hugging another man, Lovie. What’s up with this?
You’ve got to play the players that give you the best chance to win and that’s what we did with Rex
I’m on a roll. Bitches.
> Lovie’s singing too?
And a familiar tune at that.
I have to agree that Lovie played the QB that gave us the best chance to win.
Dan:
8:10 PM tomorrow
[backwards]K[/backwards]!
Thanks Chuck.
Lights Out Lilly
We’re running out of the shotgun next year. I’m going to light it up!
I missed the first inning, but Lilly looks pretty good.
How ’bout some run support, assholes!
Time for me.
ehhhhh! It’s the Fonz.
I am run support for assholes
I like Alfonse Sorianoos.
Chocolate face
This offense has lacked me for the most part.
If you missed the first two hitters, Lilly looks pretty good.
I need to get a Soriano bat for my 16″ league.
Will there be a sausage race for the LAA CLE series at miller park?
There better be, otherwise who would show up, 133?
I don’t care what the numbers say, Jock was awful last year, and is well on his way to being awful again.
Andy has a lot of me for his age.
1…
2…
3 Batters out!
Ah! Hah! Hah! Hah!
I positive that jock sucks. For any age.
Andy has a lot of me for this far along the road to forever together.
I really have no business batting second. Or anywhere else for that matter.
I don’t care what YOU say. Jock was not awful last year and won’t be this year.
Put in that redheaded fellow.
Jock is good hitter if he only faces righties. He only bats #2 against righties.
You’re all racists.
These guys are shitty.
Positive is not supposed to me. You’re a positive imposter.
Anyone know if there’s some golf on today?
shut up vanilla face.
Jock isn’t as bad as you all think he is. He’s far better than the homey Jeromy Burnitz.
what does the b stand for?
I can’t negative Jock in this game yet. At the risk of sounding like a cliche, at least he’s hit the ball hard in both at-bats (sharp line-out and warning track fly-out).
Andy’s full of shit anyway.
Has left the building.
I love Jock Jones! Especially since Thursday.
Breath.
The B is for BYOBB
Hey DPap. Take your logic and evidence and “facts” elsewhere. Jock is a poopy head. got it.
Great throw from the man who isn’t awful.
I’m shocked that Lee tested Joock’s rifle arm.
When Fat Carlos turns a single into a double on you, you know you blow. You could tell Jock had no idea he was running.
Sigh.
I took a dump. What’s going on in the game?
They don’t call me el cebolla for nothing. I run like a onion bitches. (a speedy onion).
I just said “Alright” when C-Lee doubled. Aren’t the Cubs up?
Scratch that comment about Jock. He just let Taco Lee rumble to second on his terrible throw.
I just cheered for Houston. No idea why. I’m sure I was confused or something.
I just said “all right” after Carlos Lee’s double. Do I have my Lees mixed up?
Is Mike “Snow Job” Hargrove running MLB Gameday or what?
I’m just happy that jock didn’t spike the ball into the ground and bounce it 14 thousasnd times to 2b.
I’m not sure about Santo as I’m watching on TV, but I think it’s a fair assumption that he’s confused.
All right!
Pat, this Bill Lee kid we got is a good looking lefty.
Ensberg RBI single! OOOH YEAH BABY! HOLLLA!
Where was that? Looked like a good pitch.
Who died and made me the ace of the Cardinals’ rotation?
that ball 4 looked pretty good compared to some of the pitches he’s called strikes for Woody
Come on Teddy Ballgame. Show us some of your trademark “grit.”
Not usually one to bitch about umps, but so far it has hurt. On both Astros RBIs Lilly has gotten squeezed with two strikes, whereas when Rammy was up with 1st and 3rd he had to reach for a pitch in the 3rd base dugout after the ump called the second stike well off the corner
I did Kip
It might be a good time for a patented Piniella meltdown. Just sayin’.
I just hit a guy on 0-2? Did Todd Wellemeyer just take over my body?
I think there’s a weight limit to play for the Astros. You have to weigh at LEAST 200 lbs.
It’s never a bad time for a Piniella meltdown.
Lilly is getting key-holed here. Where is the Hard-on Williams strikezone?
First the ump calls a terrible strike zone, then he tries to get in Barret’s way.
Also, it’s crazy how many foul balls have stayed in play. I blame global warming
Ted gets woody to pop out. tee hee hee.
I have the shittiest 7 game hitting streak ever
Narrowly averts the dreaded Woody Salami
Guh.
So Len and Bob got to play two songs at HoB in return for sucking their cock every broadcast?
Here I come, female doges.
Where am I blowing?
Um. Um. Erh. Uh. Wha happen?
I’m probably responsible for this somehow.
Yahoo says that Adam Everett made an error. But that can’t be right. Adam Everett NEVER makes an error!
Alright i call bullshit. That first pitch to Rammy was a ball every single time when TR Lilly threw it
The wind at last check was blowing in from right.
Let’s get our rape on
Analyst suggests another potential Cubs bidder
(Crain’s)  Throw another name onto the lengthening list of potential Cubs buyers.
Jeff Smulyan, a former Major League Baseball owner whose Emmis Communications Corp. owns two Chicago radio stations, was identified Monday as a possible Cubs bidder by an analyst who follows Indianapolis-based Emmis.
In a report, Credit Suisse analyst John Klim cited four factors that could make Mr. Smulyan “a very likely bidder†for the Cubs, including his long-standing interest in baseball, evidenced most recently by his failed effort last year to buy the Washington Nationals.
I don’t know where the wind’s blowing. But I know where the Cubs’ offense is blowing.
“nose, chin. nose, chin, hat.
NOSE CHIN! Dammit!”
Ryan O’Malley 2006 Never Forget
Commissioner Bud’s not a Smulyan fan from back when he owned the Mariners. He made sure that Smulyan’s Nat’s bid died.
I don’t like to complain about it, but the strike zone differences are idiotic
Where is the fucking strike zone today. seriously.
Heh….now Santo’s even bitching about the strike zone.
Oh, I need to know, is Aramis wearing his baclava and mittens again?
The Astros catcher looks like he’s about 12 pounds away from being a Molina brother.
Any of the names bandying themselves about in the media aren’t getting the team. That includes Smyoolan and BTS’s fave Colangelo.
Something’s wrong here. WGN says that several Cubs’ players have on base averages that aren’t the same as their batting average. How is this possible?
Guys. Honestly. About this umpire bitching.
Allow me to add myself to the list!
We’re going to pool our resources at BCB and buy the Cubs! So far we have 19 dollars and whatever Julie can get for her New Kids On the Block memorabilia collection.
I’ve lost the magic.
DeRosa hit that one hard.
OBP? Too much base clogging.
yawn. good. yawn. game. yawn. so far.
how’s your fantasy team chuck?
Miss me, bitches?
How hard?
according to gameday, I want to kill James Hoye
Umpires: HP: James Hoye. 1B: Mike Reilly. 2B: Jeff Kellogg. 3B: Eric Cooper
No, not particularly, Todd.
He hit the ball reeeal hard.
How did the CUBS win 3?
Len and Bob are discussing if Craig Biggio is a first-ballot hall of famer.
Bob thinks he is.
Bob should be reminded that Ryne Sandberg was not.
So somebody needs to be fucking themself right now.
Bitches.
Craptastic.
I’d say it was a 6 on the “hard” scale, CT.
Well Andy, one of the things you can learn from playing the game (not watching it like you) is that Craig Biggio plays the game the right way.
Ron Santo just said Chris Burke is the Astros best hitter. Anything that slights eye-liner wearing, fat Lance Berkman is truthful in my book.
“It’s very hard to describe yourself in three or four sentences.”
Oh, come on, buddy. How hard would it be.
I’m a fat, bald lisping loser. I live in the basement of my parents’ house. I once met the guy from To Catch a Predator when I took some Mike’s Hard Lemonade over to a girl’s house to give her some “counseling.”
Is that PECOTA’s scalre or BWAA’s?
On the bright side. I have not yet pretended to get a pitch today.
I have won a few playoff series. Ryno did not. I played straight through my whole career. Sandberg did not.
Next inning I’ll go do some work on my “blog”, Len. Anybody have a book of matches for when I’m done?
In Brenley’s defense, he said he thought Biggio was but that it’s hard to tell with the way they vote. I think if you asked Brenley he’d say that Sandberg should have been a first balloter also
Woody Fuckign Williams! Not Don Drysdale!
Let me tell you something, gang. Craig Biggio TASTES like a Hall of Famer.
Swallow after swallow.
Oh man. We never get old do we.
When do I begin?
Andy Richter’s scale, CT.
#234 has got my vote for post of the day so far.
When it’s not cold enough to snow.
A Biggio vs. Sandberg debate sounds like a good idea pause NOT!
What is that supposed to mean, #239 aka Dusty Baker in a mask???
Yup.
The good thing about the Beege is . . . nothing. I hope he gets beaned in his midget head.
Morgan Ensberg bats like a Cub.
I’m partial to #231 myself.
In related news, the Asstrolls are retiring Bagwell’s number this year commemorating the retiring of his shoulder some 3 and a half years ago.
Biggio looks better when he wears all green.
http://www.themathlab.com/images/cartoons/1gazoobig.jpg
Would you be partial to 69?
Love,
Julie
“Wade Miller will be skipped this time around.”
Rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…
When is it time for me?
Funny, after all the anticipation, I’m having no trouble tempering my enthusiasm about this game.
I was looking for info on home plate umpire James Hoye and I came upon an MLB.com page that lists the roster of MLB umpires. James Hoye isn’t on it.
He’s a minor league umpire that worked Spring Traning and is “on-call” for the majors if he’s needed.
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/umpires/roster_aaa.jsp
So, I guess it’s appropriate to say, “Who died and made James Hoye an MLB umpire?”
Only if I can be on top Jules.
Only if I can be on top Jules, I don’t think I could support you.
Fu ck you, Andy.
Yeah Jock! Let’s get it started!
I tried to google Hoye and all I could find was Leyland getting ejected for arguing balls and strikes
Was Burke playing Jock deep or shading him to the right?
OK, lets get this shit going baby. Come on wit it bitches.
Geez, Jock’s awful. I’m surprised he didn’t trip when he rounded first, get tagged out, and give everyone at Wrigley Field the AIDS virus.
How do I ground out to third and leave Jacque on first?
Yeah, JD. My average is all the way up to .200 now.
CLIFF!!!!!
Julie has a big, fat ass.
he was at second
Jock is so bad, even I’m afraid of catching him.
I’m a singles-hitting MACHINE.
you’re fucking kidding me on that strike to Floyd
FUCK THIS BITCHASS
That’s higher than Michael Young, Jim Thome, Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard, Anduw Jones, etc.
But, yeah, you made a good point, #263.
Discounts!
Megalol at Rami stopping at 3rd
I crapped out again. What’s going on?
Yay for Jody Berut! Great trade.
On the plus side, Ram is running well this year. I’ve never been this happy about another man’s groin muscles
CT:
April 9th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Oh, I need to know, is Aramis wearing his baclava and mittens again?
He is wearing his baclava around his waistline
Holy shit……Ramirez scored from first on a double?!
I just hit. And hit. And hit. Bitch.
JD is using sophistry again.
I can’t wait until and enraged music snob with a stinky beard leaps out of the right field bleachers to attach James Hoye.
. . . Then I get hit in the balls and am out for the year.
Can I get paid in Chicken McNuggets? I’m so hungry…
Braden Looper:
April 9th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I did Kip
No, I did Kip.
attach him to what CT?
Barret hit a double to right, scored Ram from 1st.
Also, they should give a Nobel Prize to whatever genius surgeon was able to cut Quato out of the host body so he could be our 3B coach.
Have we had a Slaky sighting in RF?
What the fuck did Barrett just do there?
It’s too bad Lidge isn’t the Asstrolls closer anymore. I’ve heard he can really get an offense going late in the game.
That’s good baseball. Fat catcher.check swing. strikeout. get a single out it.
Give Berut a little credit and then he fucks you.
Dan, the closest sharp object.
He can hurt you so many ways.
I couldn’t find the ball after a check swing K. Lilly actually came and picked it up near home and threw wide of first pulling Lee off the bag.
How Cub is taht?
Why did Lilly try and kick that ball????
I’m a crafty fucker.
Wooooo! From bad to Wuertz time!
Michael Wuertz.
I remained shocked every time I see this name.
Double switch there. Good move. Should have brought Neifi in instead of Theriot, though.
I like wuertz more than Ohman, Dumpster, and Eyre. Of course, that’s not saying much
I’ve got good stuff #297. get used to me.
Dat waf no stwike!
4 pitches for 2 outs so far?
Really?
Whoever the band is playing the gay WGN top of the seventh music sounds like us.
Bases loaded for Lee. All right!
They showed a three ring binder behind Larry Rothschild with Houston Astros on it. You’d think it was full of hit charts. Really, it’s just some Houston takeout menus.
oh fuck, Lee with the bases loaded. This can’t end well
I weeell heeet the ball very far.
I don’t see this ending well.
what happened to benny cadahia?
That is some serious cloggage on the bases. They should have declined the intentional walk.
I am serious screwed up right now.
I’m angry
Did I just say, “Kick in the tutu?”
Big as churchbells, baby!
Amazing. A alumnus of the U can count to three. I am stunned.
Nice job by Weurtz by inducing the ground out to CESAR! at SS. Good job by Barrett blocking balls, too.
All right, on the count of three, we’re gonna sing a song!
thank the jesus
I might run like Mays but I sing like shit.
I suck at singing almost as much as Rex sucks at playing quarterback.
But I’m still better than Ozzy.
Devin Hester is pretty much the smartest player in pro football
Wow. I’m just not funny.
did he just say root root root for the hoouuuggies?
I like The Riot. He’s gritty.
Oh boy……the baseball season has officially begun with a terrible 7th inning stretch singer.
Stick to returning punts, Devin.
He was the first player to get 100 defensive awareness, right?
I can promise you great Cubs fans one thing.
My arteries are going to get clogged (again) and stay clogged (this time).
All, right… on “three,”… believe me now and see you later…
Next time Floyd reaches, I’m PR.
DEVIN HESTER, YOU….ARE….REEE-DICULOUS!!!!!
Since GameDay is all messed up, can we get a workmanlike Taylor-quality narration of what’s going on? Don’t make me go to NSBB
I think he started saying the generic “home team” but realized half way that it should have been Cubbies.
Is Devin wearing a watch, or me?
> I like The Riot. He’s gritty.
I.e., “white”
Devin got 100 for speed. Fool don’t play no defense.
Walk me at your peril, bitches!
I talk like this
DogonFire: raiiiiiiiigh da dermy rehearsaday haha lolol
I don’t know if you all have heard this or not, but we are going to be TEH ABLLS this year.
Sure, we can give you an update, izturus walks, qualls is in to pitch
they are showing hester’s TD return in the superbowl on tv.
That’s nonsense 334. Neifi is gritty.
Wait, wrong first two letters.
That kickoff return stands as one of the top 3 moments of my sports fan career.
Gritty ain’t getting the bunt down.
Houston take out menus? Shit! Call Andy. He knows where in Houston to order pizzas.
hah! I am not the first Cub to get booed this year! Take that you little white schmuck!
Me!
Gritty ain’t gettin the bat on the ball, either.
Hester is a man of many many words.
Theriot strikes out.
Execution of the sac bunt right out of the Chicago Cubs Official Employee Manual.
He must have showered for church, yesterday. Washed off all the grit.
Get the curtain call ready, bitches! It’s hero time.
is hester stoned? he’s got the giggles.
soriano grounds to 3rd, izturus out at 2nd, soriano beats out the throw.
Hester is magnificent.
Jim Carrey? The guy is hir-larious.
Jim Carey is harrilarious.
Swipe.
DogonFire: naaaaah bamalos daaaai
DogonFire: bnaaaaaaaaah but torsaend wedih
DogonFire: esa gretasperians man it mah ferstam
Holy shit is Soriano fast.
3-3.
Everytime I’ve heard Hester he’s sounded like this. I love him like all Bears fans, but he sounds like he’s borderline retarded. Maybe he is just nervious on TV.
Soriano steals 2nd on a close play.
Thanks, Pre.
That was cool. Eat that Beege.
Jones positives an infield single and Soriano scores from 2nd
Gettin it done bitches. I hit that one straight down baby.
Oh… BEEEEG!
Miss me, bitches?
How the hell do you score from second on an infield single??!?!
I shirtless positive Mike Quade.
Yes, Devin is absolutely stoned.
Soriano’s wheels got 100 percent of that run.
He beat the relay throw on the double play grounder.
Stole second.
Scored from second on an infield hit.
Wow.
it was bounced off the plate high over the pitcher, throw to 1st was late but wasn’t handled very well, but it still wasn’t close at home.
Soriano is fast.
My ill advised throw on the infield chopper cost us that run. Not only was it really late, but I handcuffed Fat Elvis with the throw and it bounced away from him.
Speed never slumps, y’all.
I’m so fucking fast
What’s up with Gameday having pitch-by-pitch fields for “SPD,” “BRK” and “PFX” but not using them?
DEVIN HESTER YOU ARE RI-DICULOUS!
I know Hester sounds stoned, but he sounds like this after Bears games when I’m sure he’s not stoned.
Double Yup.
I would assume that gameday only uses those fields for games America cares about, like the Red Sox and Yankees games.
Don’t be so sure Pre.
Automatic ball? Howry misbehaving?
I’m selling the Cubs but leasing Wrigley Field and Soriano’s legs.
This never gets old.
ALFONSO SORIANO YOU..ARE…shit, wrong game.
That is a KNOT hole in RF.
Somewhere, I’m weeping alone. In the mirror. With a hairbrush. And a double headed dildo with teh Beege’s little sun logo that he wears on his hat on it.
Big power hitter Humberto “Humbert Humbert” Quintero in the hole, Bob. Let’s double someone up.
Big K there.
Got Salad?
Gameday made it look like BSB was getting squeezed. Was he?
I don’t provide a whole lot of help for my pitchers, so I?
He certainly got squeezed on that one.
Manageable wild pitch? Or shitty defense by Berut?
Ron Santo hates me.
I’m teaching Mr. Umpire some new words.
That’s a strike if I ever saw one.
My TV’s broken. On it, Adam Everett just hit a home run.
Well fuck.
I have been Jim Hendry’s bane since 2003
I am a Commie. And I probably kick puppies. I am destined to a life in Hell.
Adam f u c k i n g Everett?
Is it too early to drag Eyre and Howry behind the shed and spend two bullets?
Sploosh sploosh!
was that adam everett? wtf.
That’s Cubs baseball.
What the fuk?
Santo isn’t the only one who hates the asscastle behind the plate
That was a shit pitch, but Bob got put in a tough spot. His catcher can’t handle a slider in the dirt with a runner at third, and the ump wouldn’t give him a call on either corner.
Still, you ought to be able to keep that big eared dork in the park, right?
That’s Big Spot Bob to you. Am I getting rocked or what?
Jeebus. Our bullpen appears to be shitty.
I’m going to be committed into a mental institution if we get too many more games like this.
my tv has the same problem. must be a network error.
I hate the cubs. It is Adam “nancy” Everrett. The only team he hits HR’s off is the Cubs. F U C K!
Yeah, you do have to keep Adam daggum Everett in the park.
That wild pitch was no fault of Barrett’s. Maybe like 7% his fault for not being Ultra Super Fucking Defensive Stud Catcher Elite.
Man, it just sounded like Santo was having a grabber
This game has been decidedly not me.
There’s this list called the “Bottom 126,” and I have a clause in my contract offering me $$$ if I make any all-time Cubs list.
dont worry. lidge is getting ready.
I don’t want to defend Howry, because I don’t like him, but it’s hard to fault him for getting one over the plate in that instance when everything else is a fucking ball
Lou: So, Mr. Umpire, you give blowjobs with your eyes closed?
Ump: What the hell are you talking about Lou?
Lou: Well, Everett’s cock is obviously in your mouth, and you missed two fucking strikes that 40,000 people in this ballpark saw.
If you want, give Barrett a pass on the pitch he botched last inning. But he’s done it three other times today.
I agree, SD. He did everything right on that one. It’s not his fault the ball took a funky bounce. He needs to start eating more, though. If he was wider or fatter, then that ball would’ve just stuck. Maybe he should get on the “Eyre” workout plan.
Sorry, pre. But with 8 and 9 coming up, less than 2 outs, and 1st base open, would walking Everrett kill you?
The Cubs are the cure for what ails all of us.
Woo Hoo, I’m the Astros’ closer today!
Keep getting this for non-duplicated comments. I wanted to post as 420 with the message reading 420 for the post #420, but no, won’t have it.
I really suck
You know what, if you’re afraid to pitch to Adam Everrett, you don’t belong in the majors.
Who’s ready for some waveland action?
I swear, I’ll never call you Cornelius again, Clifford, if you can just hit the ball farther than Nancy Everett.
Wasn’t I the phrase you saw with duplicated messages?
Walking Everrett wouldn’t kill you, but a low fastball to Everett in the cold with the wind blowing isn’t a crime. I mean, the HR sucked, I don’t like Howry, but it wasn’t a terrible pitch.
G’nite, everybody.
I’m back bitches
I didn’t mean today.
Rape it, Clifton
Fuck you, Everett.
(faahkk)
Floyd grounds into a DP, totally the ump’s fault again.
Could be worse, you could be us.
Fuck.
Check out what rick white has got on the tongue of his shoe.
Izturis is clutch, right?
I forgot what it felt like to waste an afternoon. Welcome back cubs.
Yes, Izturis is dutch.
I’m prepping for my walk-off HR pose already. Hey….if Everett can do it, why can’t I?
Time for some 9th inning Ninjutsu?
ruining the season
looks like an adidas or mizuno logo
Gameday has Murton switching from left field to left field twice.
Did we trade Lou for LaRussa over the holiday weekend?
It appears we will see the Wheel dog. Hopefully we can make him a hubcap puppy.
rough day.
Lou is doing it right dude.
You know how I can tell that the Cubs were losing?
Dumpster went 1-2-3 in the 9th
I can’t help but wonder what Wood would look like late in a ball game like this. I hate that pussy arm/shoulder of his.
Rally Carp Time
Murton? Cesar? Theriot?
Who let the peewees in this game?
Young guys got no grit, dudes.
I’m sure Ward will hit for pizza
So I’ve officially ruined Brad Lidge’s career now?
and eat for him too.
Gameday’s fucked. As is day game.
I smoked that. Of course, it was ball four.
why the hell do you let pizza hit here?
I am a switch-hitting outs machine
Gameday has Lance Berman batting fourth in the top of the ninth with 3 out right now.
ward is getting paid in pizza
Berkman
They’re about to lose the opener at Wrigley.
Get it, “opener!” Hah!
Because the alternative is putting Cedeno in the field for a tie ballgame.
Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad outcome at this point in the game.
White Riot, I want a Riot, White Riot, Riot of my own
Murton got 3 quick balls, let 2 low bordeline strikes go, and then hit a possibly high fastball very hard to Lee for out 1.
Then Lou let pizza hit and that was an obvious out on a tapper in the infield.
Now ward is pinch hitting
Scratch that…
Daryle?
Guh.
ward lines out to SS, cubs lose
they’re still shitty
Lines out to Everett.
(Natch)
We heart teh Ucbs!
Double Guh.
The LOU-RAGE-O-MEETER has been moved
Green:placid pre-game interviews confusing pinstripes for plaid and calling it ivory instead of ivy, butt patting Alan Trammel in the dugout, casual slouching position on the dugout
to the following
Yellow: polite post loss interview that is just tense enough to make reporters shit themselves out of asking difficult questions, peeking his head out of his zipped up collar to bark from his seat mildly at the ump from his seat.
Plan your summer accordingly.