Houston: Brandon Backe 1-1, 4.03
Cubs: The Franchise 3-3, 4.73
Thanks, Morpheus..
Astros
The Beege, LF
Carlos Beltran, CF
Jeff Bagwell, 1B
Lance Berkman, RF
Jeff Pornstache, 2B
Morgan Ensberg, 3B
Jose Vizcaino, SS
Brad Ausmus, C
Brandon Backe, P
Cubs
Corey Patterson, CF
Derrek Lee, 1B
Nomar Garciaparra, SS
Moises Alou, LF
Sammy Sosa, RF
Aramis Ramirez, 3B
Todd Walker, 2B
Michael Barrett, C
Mark Prior, P
Pitching matchup:
Hou: Roger Clettitte, 7-0, 2.38 ERA
Cubs: Matt Clement, 6-3, 3.05
(more…)
On the bright side, no Ramon. On the bad side…me!
Maybe Dusty should move me to 9th?
I like batting second, it gives me a better chance of being 0-5 than if I’m hitting sixth or seventh.
I could have a least made contact..Heck I was 3 for 3 the other day.
Rey or Ramon. Hurry back Alex.
Wouldn’t Alex, Ramon and Rey be me?
Everybody says I run well for a catcher, how about letting me have a start or two in center?
I can run ’em down!
How can I get on this sword edge thing?
Helps us avoid the triple edge sword.
Jose at least you hit the ball in good spots on ocassions and make it to first base and sometimes 3rd base more then once in a game.
Wheeeeeee! I can’t even hit Duckworth, and today I get to face Roger Clemens!
Ordonez is hitting .438 (7-16) against Clemens.
That’s the best numbers Ordonez has against any active pitcher.
(Outside of the pitchers where he is 1-1 or 2-2 or whatever)
(It’s not like he’s Barry Bonds, but it’s still worth starting him over Martinez just for that)
Did Corey do anything against Clemens last season? Stats please.
Walker .393 (11-28)
Barrett .333 (1-3)
Alou .000 (0-2)
Ramirez .000 (no at-bats)
Hollandsworth .000 (0-4)
Lee .667 (2-3)
Patterson .000 (0-3)
Ordonez .438 (7-16)
Macias .214 (3-14, HR), is the only guy not on the DL for the Cubs to homer off Roger. Sosa has 1 (his first of his 549 career homers) and Alex Gonzalez (!) has 3.
3 at-bats, no hits.
You’ve gotta be kidding me?
I think I am 4-1 at home w/ under a 3 era.
Huh…maybe those stats have me and Marlin A-Gonz added together
1 up 1 K
Damn I had a good jump on that one. God bless myself.
I’m not playing today?
I don’t have it today.
But I bet I do.
A damn wild pitch with the wind blowing in and an impatient offense facing the Rocket is the same as a three-run double by the pitcher.
Fine, Clemens. Just give me one right where I like it. Bouncing in front of the plate. None of this fastball right down the middle bullshit!
Santo is keeping things in perspective. He said, "giving up even one run with Clemens on the mound will be disastrous."
I am due for a bad game…aren’t I?
I thought I was out of the 5th inning in Pittsburgh by now???
If I forget to flush the toilet even one time, THAT would be disastrous.
I have a perfect game going versus the Reds through six innings, including five strikeouts.
If we load the bases twice w/no outs & don’t score — that COULD be disastrous.
What is a good pitch for me to hit?
The one that hits you
For some reason I just like looking at good pitches
If we make Jeff Weaver, Wilson Alvarez look like Cy Young material what do we make Clemens look like?
Of course I’ll look like a god
I bet Clettite will get calls that I won’t as well.
Don’t I look good with my facial hair?
That that you crook it teeth bastard. Single bitch. No-no bye-bye
If I make an appearance right now, I could make Matt Clement a national hero.
I d-railed!
Am I fellating Roger on TV?
You damn well better not be, Chippy!!
Can this duo be contracted? In the "MLB contraction" sense, not in the sense of say "contracting an STD."
Don’t I look like an AIDs patient?
Whenever there is a guest on WGN radio and they talk during the opponent’s half of the inning, it feels like they have been on forever, but when there is a guest during the Cubs’ half of the inning, Ron & Pat barely can say hello, before the inning is over.
When I was on with Pat & Ron last nite in the bottom of the 6th, it took forever while the Cubs were loading the bases.
After the bases were loaded, my appearance was over in about 2 1/2 minutes.
I had sex with Ron’s toupee last night during the sixth inning. I have the rugburn to prove it.
how many stolen baes do I have?
1-2-3 inning for me the rest of the game
Uh, Sutcliffe?
That was actually my back.
2b Grudzielanek
ss Gonzalez
rf Sosa
lf Alou
3b Ramirez
1b Lee
cf Patterson
c Barrett
Looks like he’s making everyone look stupid?
I have stolen 9 bases, and been caught stealing 8 times. Except now 9.
I took some "dry swings" yesterday.
Right before Sutcliffe "dry humped" Masur’s shoulder blades.
You know, E-ramis is a 50/50 stolen base guy. He might make it, and he might not.
It wasn’t a dry hump for long.
I’ve lost my mind. I’m now talking about fish in Lake Michigan wearing sweaters.
See what this team does to people?
I’ll be sending a little token of my appreciation to those fish in about an hour.
Don’t forget to take us Pat
We’re comin’ for ya, CP.
I look in good in Corey Patterson’s uni, don’t I?
What the hell am I talking about?
Yeah, well Jerome, you at least had one good year.
I like Korey. Mark it down, that’s my next kid’s name.
This offense
Anyone?
I think so.
Hey, we just took the lead again!
Will Cindy Sandberg let any & all players with the last name Palmeiro bang her?
I’m the king of baseball
1st and 3rd, one out, Clemens up. Haven’t I read this book before?
Hey Clement having problems with that 1-2-3 inning kid?
Too bad for the Marlins we’re not closing that game for the Reds.
What about me? I ain’t so bad.
We’re doing a great job for the Marlins. Not.
I’m doing a good job, too. I left the bases loaded for them a few days ago when I pinch-hit. Bet old man McKeon misses Hollandsworth a little.
Bitches!
Yeah Lenny I bet he doesn’t miss me?
Nobody leaves ’em loaded like Lenny.
Well, except for Corey.
I’ve got wheels, baby!
Lee doubled hard to left. Huh?
I shall single handedly tie this game.
Runner at third, no out?
Walk the next two guys! They have no answer for that!
Don’t worry, D Lee, we can still find a way to strand you at 3rd.
I did my bit!!!
I sure get some questionable strikes
Holy crap. It’s contagious.
60 pitches for the Rocket with 1 out in the 4th. He won’t see the 7th from anything other than the bench.
He can cuddle under the bench with me.
Happy to mee you Todd
Take that Roger! A 2003 Marlin knocking in another 2003 Marlin!
Can Chip and I make it a 4 some?
Just leave it to the reigning World Champs.
We remember your "last" start, Fat Roger. We rocked you. Punk.
"I was feeling out Dick Pole"
How good have I been this year?
Matt Clement meltdown coming up next inning!
Or not.
It depends on my asthma.
I’ll give you asthma!
Anyone see Tron?
Hey, the game’s tied. Can I pitch?
Anyone who’s never been to a Star Trek convention seen me since?
I should be coaching the Cubs.
Screw you guys and your one run.
As long as you don’t coach them in how to pick up a dinner tab! Eh, Stoney? Like that one?
Shut up Chip
Pitch and out, that is.
Signed,
Guess Who
Wheeee, what the hell?
I like Rey. He has fung with the wheeeeee.
Was that you again Corey
I own the Rocket.
Great at-bat.
After I popped out, why did the crowd chant ALOU ALOU?
I don’t care how bad you dont like Rey, I would rather have him out there than Ramon.
My asthma caused that
My middle name is "Tappedweakly".
Korey, they were chanting "MOOSE!"
Hey D. Good to see ya again.
Derrek you need to pick it up a but it’s getting late.
I picked it up when I stole third, I’m probably done for a while.
Honesty compels me to say that the Cubs probably only have one more inning to get to Clemens before they have to face the vaunted Astros bullpen.
Another shameless plug for "This Old Schlub"
Chip:
Honesty tells us that you are going to be the evening sports anchor in Fargo next year.
Or one of the smaller markets.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Beege 0-4, it will be a home run tonight for him.
Sorry Chip,
I’ve got a plane to catch after the game.
i like chip caray
We love helping out Clettite and his strike zone.
I was invited to sing the 7th Inning Stretch? For a career-sub .200 hitter, I have to say: I’D BE A BETTER HITTER THAN THESE GUYS.
Not better than me, Gar. You hit a granny once after fouling off 10 pitches.
If it’s close it’s a strike for Roger
Well, not quite.
We are out of time, another extended stay for our guest.
I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.
This Andy Masur half inning brought to you by me.
They were almost bigger than Harry’s glasses.
We’re due for a big inning.
This girl must be stopped!:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/West/06/02/modest.clothing.ap/index.html
Is making his back hair turn Red Barron Red.
K-Pat leads off the seventh.
Activate me and let me pinch hit for Korey.
I wanna win.
Oh, let me pinch hit for Korey already. I can’t be worse, I might be better.
Time to get me out. After all, I can’t get anyone out.
"I see all of these girls who walk around with pants that show their belly button and underwear," she wrote. "Your clearks (sic) sugjest (sic) that there is only one look. If that is true, then girls are suppost (sic) to walk around half naked."
I’d prefer this 11-year-old work on her atrocious spelling.
I strike again.
What are you waiting for?
What do I do? Should I just starting hitting batters like in Pittsburgh?
Mew.
Absolutely ridiculous to let Clement pitch to the last two batters. What the hell is Dusty saving his bullpen for, tomorrow’s off day? I hope they take the price of admission off Johnnie B’s salary, because he sure does a lot of sitting and watching, and not whole lot of managing.
Drive Home Safely Everyone!
A little late Baker, you fat %&#$.
Come won’t me making us this year
NOW do you see how I got my reputation?
I meant to say that the Cubs won’t make it to us
#153?
I’d say I was a better third baseman than I am a singer… but I’m not so sure.
Just what are we celebrating here?
Gary can’t hit a curveball…or a note.
that guy is about as bad a singer as he was a baseball player. i wish he would have a satelite dish fall on him like the one on Bo Diaz.
Playoffs made a typo
No. 160, when you impersonate me, could you at least refer to me in the first person? Get it? You are supposed to be me, and as lousy as I was, I never referred to myself in the third person, and most likely did not root for my demise.
How’s life with out me buddy
Moose calls again.
Why are they booing you, sweetcheeks?
I TOOK THE FIRST PITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
(but I popped out "softly" according to MLB.com Gameday)
Who is this Clemens guy, he seems pretty solid.
I sure hate helping my team win
How bad did I fuck up? I didn’t get an error according to Gameday.
I’m the guy filling in for you Sammy. I’m doing my job. It’s these other jokers who don’t do shit.
I need to come back so you can play for Corey buddy
Well, at least Andy didn’t get his bile up at me today. AFter all, I’m the cause of today’s poor showing.
We suck again!
We suck again!! Damn myself.
I seem to be sleeping..Much like the Cub offense
why do i suck so bad? i agree with Dolan, send me down, but send me to Dayton. i should be able to get a couple hits in A league and i may even dominate.
What am I going to say during the postgame? No soup for you tonight, Corey!
i’ll refer to myself however i please. suck it.
The Beege’s catch in the seventh?
i thought i fuck up and drop a ball today too. i really suck, don’t i.
I’m sure I can find a way to blame this on Gabor Bako.
Just give me a minute.
No, you’re right, this is all Corey’s fault. Hell, it’s always Corey’s fault.
This team is playing uninspired and non-aggressive baseball. The other teams are simply taking it to them. There has to be a shake-up and soon, and I don’t think Prior alone will be enough.
How is it my fault?
We swing at everything! How can we be non-aggressive? As for being unispired, when you don’t get any hits, just how inspired are you supposed to look?
Maybe we should go all Milton Bradley and throw balls all over the field. Then at least we’ll be inspired!
We looked pretty inspired on Monday.
When you lose, it’s tough to look really fired up.
It’s simple. I’m instituting a new rule:
When we lose, we need someone to toughen up our hands. Moises will do the honors.
Remember when we were favored for the World Series this offseason? That was awesome.
Thats what we are.
This team isn’t worth wasting my valuable fluid. I will save a bottle for Sammy and puor it on his back.
I need a day off
Time for me to stop caring.
Actually, you guys are usually even worse after one of me.
Wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Mark Friday will not be your day
I could throw at Korey’s head. Hopefully he doesn’t swing and foul it off.
Fear me!!
Go ahead, Andy. Make it my fault. I just wanna know when Korey gets his own meter. Maybe a strikeout average? Hell, if Ks were hits, he’d be batting at least .320.
WUERTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
We should never open a series with a win again, because all we seem to care about is avoiding the sweep in a 3 game series. If we win the first one, hell, my boys hardly show up for the next two.
I want to go to Iowa!
Um, where is Union Station again??
Wuertz does
Is Wuertz going to be gone on Friday since the Franchise will be back? Please?
Hi, just so you know, we are substandard players. We should not be on this roster. We are:
Sergio Mitre, Glendon Rusch, Michael Wuertz, Jason Dubois, David Kelton, Jimmy Anderson, Rey Ordonez, Jose Macias, and Francis Beltran.
We’ll be gone once our injured teammates are back.
Of course, we have several "underachievers":
Kyle Farnsworth, Joe Borowski, Paul Bako, Derrek Lee and Corey Patterson. That’s 24 percent of the roster.
That means a mere 10 players — Clement, Zambrano, Maddux, Hawkins, Barrett, Remlinger, Todd Walker, Hollandsworth and Alou –have given fans what they could have reasonably expected this year.
Jimmy, just walk due east until you see the lake, and then just walk on in. You know ALL about walking . . .
I’m going for Prior. But someone else goes for Mercker. My bet is Jimmy A.
Who goes when I’m back? It says here Rusch goes to the pen.
I’m not substandard, shithead.
When’s "Around the Horn" on?
Mike, let’s talk when you get back to Iowa.
You’re way off base on Frankie Beltran, that guy’s a keeper. And Glendon Rusch frankly has looked not bad at all. The others I’ll give you, they suck.
Put Rusch in the pen when Wood comes back
Fuck off, I have been pretty great. My last two games weren’t so much me as they were the lack of offense.
Oh, gross, so I will still be around?
Rusch is a keeper.
211, you’re right. Beltran won’t be touring Iowa or any of the other spots in the Pacific Coast League anytime soon. Rusch has been a pleasant surprise.
But April 1, Rusch was jobless and Beltran was just a prospect that we didn’t need to figure into things.
Let’s put Rusch and Beltran with the solid 10, and that makes 12. The other 13 players could be gunned down at the corner of Clark and Addison by a road-raging construction worker 90 minutes after a Cubs game and even Rick Telander and Carol Slezak would applaud.
Hmm, how’s this for a thought: I come back, Joe Borowski goes back to Jersey. I slide into the pen and become the best stopper in the majors. Rusch is the fifth starter, a crafty lefty.
You have to be 35 years old to be a crafty lefty.
I have never closed a game in my life, why would they decide to do that?
It’s too bad the rest of the team sucks. This triple might have meant something.
I will close games. Eric Gagne can lick my balls./
I can feel it now…
Patterson gets on
Ordonez gets on
Bako pinch hit homer to tie the game.
Isn’t Frank a closer anyway?
Hey whaddya know?
I swung at a first pitch on the same level as my head.
test
Come on Andy, get a Korey-Watch on the front page. Over/under for the number of days he stays in Chicago: 12.
I swung at the 2nd pitch too out of the zone
Because, Kerry. You’re damaged goods. You have a bad arm. A bad back. And a bad attitude if a pitch 4 inches outside gets called for ball 4.
Limiting you to 1 inning limits the effect you have on the game. And limits your injury potential. And you can go all out each time you pitch.
Face it. If you had a resume to back your street cred you’d be Josh Beckett. As of today, you can’t hold Josh’s jock.
SOX ARE WINNING
I’d be a great closer. I’m usually really sharp the first time around, so I’m sure I’d have no problem with my control in one inning stints.
–end sarcasm–
This one was just that. I think it was extremely boring. Hendry is probably trying to cut a deal to sign Gary Scott.
Scott Boras has a message in your inbox.
Longest homestead of the years…I’m gonna get so sicked of being booed.
watching clemens at wrigley make me head hurt….
Just wait until June gets here, that’s when I step it up guys! Oh, wait….
I guess it makes me unable to spell too
Remember me?
Guys, I’m available!
Predicted June record.
Mr. Hendry,
I’m available. I can play first. I can play short. I can’t play second, but I can play two!
At my old age, how worse than Derrek Lee or Ramon Martinez can I be?
i really suck…..
AB 66 HR 2 AVG .152 RBI 8 RUN 5 SB 0
Look what I’m doing now
Remember me?
In case you don’t remember me, just read the front of my hat.
It’s pretty bad when you have a tied game and you know there’s no chance.
im drinking tonight
I bet if you’re real nice, offer a six-pack and a pack of Winstons in my locker after every day and clear that barstool at Murphy’s, I can extricate myself from the hell that is the color analyst job for the Diamondbacks, a job that consists of listening to Thom Brennaman, watching the D-backs and (even worst) listening to me talk.
I can play a mean first, occassionally rap out singles and feud with Sammy again.
Whaddya say, Hendry?
Remember when we were undefeated & in first place ahead of the Reds?
I can’t wait to see Joe Bo again!
Hell yeah, I remember Opening Day. I actually got someone out.
There ya go Cubbies.. Got alot of work ahead of you.
Remember me?
NL Central
Team Name G W L PCT GB RS RA
Houston Astros 96 52 44 .541 – 483 410
St. Louis Cardinals 96 49 47 .510 3.0 541 487
Chicago Cubs 95 47 48 .494 4.5 417 425
Cincinnati Reds 95 43 52 .452 8.5 441 558
Pittsburgh Pirates 93 42 51 .451 8.5 417 455
Milwaukee Brewers 95 38 57 .400 13.5 438 519
Can someone get me out of here? My back’s still stuck to this chair!
Guys?
Guys?
Don’t leave me here for another nite!!
Come on, guys!!!!!
The Brewers & Reds sure as hell don’t remember you!!!
Remember me? Cubs trade for Lofton & Ramirez.
Looks like I’m doing a great job here. Um Mr. Hendry can I get my pay check please?
Can we say it now?
This team is bound to underachieve. I think anyway.
I’m that one Pirates reliever the Cubs were actually hitting, and I just went on DL. They recalled Mike Gonzalez to replace me, who you might remember as the guy who struck out 3 in a row in the bottom of the 9th of the 2nd doubleheader game to let Fabio Wilson win the game in the 10th.
Sorry, the bottom of the 9th was when Mackowiak tied the game. Gonzalez struck out Korey & Friends in the top of the 10th.
Let’s see, this is an even start, so it looks like I will dominate today.
Just here to help, Andy… sort of like Gabor Bako II without the power…
Can you believe Baker is sitting Bako? What is he thinking? The guy’s red hot! He’s 1-15 with a homer and an RBI!
I’m leading off? Wheeeeeeeeee! I’ll Salkow those Astros to death.
Or whatever gymnasts do…other than binge and purge, of course.
By the way, I’m strangely attractive, aren’t I?
![]("http://www.nbcolympics.com/2004/0528/5015537.jpg"/)
And I was born in 1988!
I defer to the Sloth when it comes to the attractiveness of gymnasts…
http://uncouthsloth.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_uncouthsloth_archive.html#109301645048074356
Anyone else keeping track of the Padres/Mets game? Eaton vs. Trachsel, 0-0 in the 5th, a grand total of 2 hits and 5 baserunners combined.
Woof.
Uh, did someone say 1988, the year I broke into the National League with a shutout of Pete Rose’s Reds? Ah, that was the year…
Um, yes sir, Pump 9? And a pack of Winstons? $39.22 please.
Yeah, what a year….
I had to say something. 2-0 Padres now…
Looks like Adam Eaton just doubled in the 3rd run…
Let’s hope the Mets lay down for the Cubs in late September like they have against the Padres. Pitiful offensive display the last three days. Good thing they went out and got Kris Benson.
I remember seeing Jeff Pico and Mark Grace in Peoria when they played for the Chiefs…
Off to a great start… double by the Beege, then Beltran sacrifices him to third…
Sacrafice with Beltran? Not even I’m that dumb.
…but I am…
That’s going to hurt the old ERA…
Sounds like Prior has another case of the Straight-Fastball Syndrome. Somebody’s got to get Barrett and these guys (ie. Hawkins) to mix things up a little.
I sure fixed my mechanics
Notice that I’m not called the Franchise anymore. That’s cuz, well, you know.
I hereby claim the title of "The Franchise" for myself.
You’re the new Estes, thats what you are Prior. Plus you’re a baby.
Remember when I was talking about playing the Cards in the NLCS this year? That was great.
Sorry guys, I was so shocked to see Jeff Bagwell hitting third that I accidentally grooved one to him.
"Remember when I was talking about playing the Cards in the NLCS this year? That was great." Yeah Mark remember that outing you had against the Cards when Renteria hit a grand slam off you? What a joke.
Has Prior been struck by a line drive yet? If not can I rescind that wish? My new hope is that he continues to turn into Frank Castillo.
Obviously, Lee should sacrifice here…
Will we hit Backe today?
No.
No.
We love the infield pop up.
…and the outfield pop up…
We call them infield flyouts
Pop up? That was rocket shot…
Oh my!
Who is this guy, and what has he done with the real Mark Prior?
I’ve got my A stuff yet again
Let’s hope the cubs get n a roll starting today
So does Prior look bad, or is this another umpire thing?
Hang on, I mean – I’m going to get it stuffed in my A again.
Maybe I should be in the bullpen? I fit in perfect with those guys.
Will Steve ever talking about going to Kent State?
Will Steve ever stop talking about going to Kent State?
Yeah, after that long string of wins we really need to kick start things.
We need those umpires we had yesterday.
Hey Skip, I’m ready for another long stint if you need me. I own the Astros.
It’s not an umpire thing, unlike it was in the afore-mentioned start against the Cardinals earlier this season.
Prior’s not putting his fastball in good spots. Instead of hitting the corners or going off them, he is leaving them in the middle of the plate or inner-half.
The curve looks pretty good however.
Prior’s fastball has been 93 on most of the fastball pitches according to FSN’s gun.
Hero time, buddy.
Zero time. Buddy.
Zero time buddy
I’m hungry, Andy. Any chance of you sending me a Pizza?
I am the best there is.
Prior is like watching our bullpen. Not as fun as it used to be.
Good job Sammy, we love you!! What would our team be like w/ out you this year. You mean so much!!
Why can’t we hit this hack?
Do you think we will be able to feast on the Reds like the Cardinals have been?
Feast mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
We can’t hit this guy cause he doesn’t pipe fastballs down the middle of the plate. He throws 70% offspeed and has our whole team out on their front foot.
Dammit, I should’ve let Bako play today.
I like walking people
I also like high pitch counts early on
that mechanical flaw it was B.S. I couldn’t tell him he sucks.
That’s right you whining idiots, Prior sucks. Why not trade him over here for Josh Stewart or Felix Diaz? Dumbasses.
I’m wondering if Mark Prior is glad he has his degree now.
I’m gonna throw a 183 pitch complete game
Prior’s given up 2 runs. He’s had control issues today and most of the year. He’ll probably have them the rest of the year. The real issue here is that we can’t get a hit off Brandon f’n Backe.
Shut up, Chuck.
Time to earn my pay.
Time for the pattented check swing DP.
Uh oh…
Way to show off those wheels Prior
I’m thinking we should have waved him home there… Biggio has no arm and had to run 25 feet to get the ball.
…Sammy is on deck…
Double play or pop up??
Sorry guys there are men on base. No luck.
Sacrifice?
Strike out looking or swinging at a ball in the dirt?
Got to get me more Todd Hundley tapes.
That’s not how I taught you!
Wow, I went to right field and hit a homer… imagine that.
See. I am a gladiator. Buddy. I can’t do it alone, but the team needs me. This is my house.
Hey buddy, your "boos" sound like "yays" to me, buddy!
You wankers should be banned from celebrating when we actually DO score a run, bases loaded, one out. Jesus, I’ve never heard such a bunch of negative pr1cks.
My juice is finally kicking in. yesssssss
… WWWHHHAAAATTTTT????
Buddy, buddy.
Or when Sammy clears the bases, for that matter… took me a while to type that, I was too cross.
Back to back jacks….Whoa yeah!!
When do I get to hit 4th?
The Cubs with another rally killing home run. They just can’t score without the homer, it’s a disgrace. And now that Mark Prior had to circle the diamond, he’s probably too exhausted to come out for the next inning.
Lighten up, Francis
Finally the great Brandon Backe is falling apart. Bring on David Weathers!
Day game with a lead, better put in the black guys.
Will the great baker basher show his ugly head today?
Hah! Now Backe has thrown more pitches than me.
No need to sub Dusty, it’s overcast enough for the white guys.
Seems more like today is the day for Prior bashers.
I love Cubs pitching…
Wankers? Bloody Naysayers? Cross? Are you Trent Durrington?
Leave it out, you pillock. Strike a light.
Five may not be enough to win this one.
Fortunately, I don’t think we’ll be held at 5.
As a Cub, what position did Gary Gaetti play well?
We didn’t have to worry about Brad Ausmus coaxing a 9 pitch walk out of Mark Prior?
I’ve given up 4 hits, 3 walks, 2 runs. And you are ready to call me washed up? We are up 5-2 and rolling and half the crowd here is chalking me up as the next Frank Castillo?
Lay off and enjoy the 3-run lead, whiners.
So, an ERA of 4.25 through 4 innings. Are you going to cut me some slack now?
It’s the lack of control that bothers us..You’re throwing like Matt Clement last year.
Now that sequence to Craig Biggio was the Franchise we used to love and know.
Remember when all you guys thought I would be walking on water after I returned? Aren’t you all the same ones who are now calling for my head on a pike?
Pipe down, please, and let me pitch.
As mentioned elsewhere here, I’ve been injured all year, haven’t been 100% yet, and I am still gutting it out there every 5th day to help my team win.
Would you rather I go back on the DL and let you watch the comedy stylings of Glendon Rusch?
Either back me fully when I am nutting up a so-so game, or leave me the hell alone.
Or 4.5, even…
And that’s the Michael Barrett we all know and love.
Believe it.
It’s time to trade me, right? At least that’s the slant I am getting from this board today.
God, some of you guys are an ungrateful bunch of jackasses…
How can Chip not say the Astros’ bullpen is vaunted?
That’s his line!
Don’t worry Mark, they wanted to trade me earlier in the season too.
yeah, they hated me until June.
is just frustrated with him since we were spoiled for a year and a half of lights out pitching
Nope, we’re not one and the same, but I can’t disagree with what he’s saying.
Mark,
Cheer up. I got traded by those ungrateful jackasses in Boston and wound up on the Cubs. That could happen to you. They could trade you to… uh, like Tampa Bay or something.
Is a 5-run lead safe with me, fellas? Put down your razor blades over my 4-inning, 2 run outing thus far and let me know if I have enough to win this game or if I should be waiting for a trade to the Expos…
As long as Prior gives up one run less than the opponent, he’ll always be The Franchise to me.
Hey man. By that standard, I suck.
I think it’s safe to say that we know how good Prior really is. What I wonder is, just how bad is his stuff on the days he struggles?
It’s either (oh, no Andy’s pontificating) that he’s so used to having dominating stuff that it’s hard for him to make the adjustments on days that his fastball doesn’t move and his slider just kinds of hangs there…
or his stuff is horrific on days like this and because he’s so freakin’ good, he’s still able to get most of the guys out.
I guess that’s for us to decide.
Don’t worry, if they start to catch up, I’m ready in a pinch!
Time for my first pinch homer since 1976!
Tee ball. Left center. Got it all.
When will Pussy Groin Oswalt be suspended?
Afterall, Kerry got suspended 5 days for throwing at a batter. Just ask Dave Duncan.
Didn’t Gabor step it up last August through September? I remember him getting severals extra base hits..Or was I dreaming?
Bako had seven extra-base hits from August through September last year, in 80 AB. He also had 1 IBB during that period…
http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/Ibakop0010082003.htm
He also had 6 RBIs in that time, as many as he had in one game against Cincy.
Am I coming back out for the 6th?
I’m out, but I’ll be back in before the 6th is over.
Yes I am…
Bako’s a Swede. It’s just now summer in Sweden. That’s why he’s heating up.
Who are we rooting for in the FLA/SF tilt? Obviously SF is closer to the Cubs, but FLA makes me a little more nervous. I’d like to see them buried before the Cubs head to Miami.
Anyone else?
Take a lude, bro. Wood threw at someone 4 months ago, Oswalt less than a week.
Go back to complaining about the umps or something else.
Have I talked about how much the Cardinals miss Orlando Palmeiro yet? They’re only 40 over without him.
Wood didn’t throw at anybody, he just incited a riot.
Suck on that, bitches.
115 tosses for Mark. I guess he’s healthy.
And done for today.
Am i the Manager of the year or what.
Im pretty good once I settle down…I need to take lessons from Maddux on how to keep my pitch count down.
Men on 2nd and 3rd with nobody out, and Prior gets out of the jam. Even when he’s bad, he’s good.
Hey, we needed a lefty PH. Why am I still on the bench?
That sound you heard was my batting average plummetting.
Good lord!
I’m on base!
It’s 7-2 Paul, I’m saving you for a more crucial at bat.
Remember Milwaukee last week when I played..I was a spark plug at the top of the order.
I don’t understand how we’re losing this game, the Cubs haven’t sacrificed once!
So, am I gonna get another 3 inning save?
We’re putting these bitches on Ice.
See you in hell, Beltran … Come again!
Not a promising start for the Ice Man.
I’ve shaved my head. The hair pitched badly, you know. I was an innocent victim.
I agree with the a couple of the guys from yesterday. Jon Leicester should be the closer.
To be fair, is there anybody in our bullpen who hasn’t given up a homer to Beltran?
What about Matt Clement as a closer? We could give him a try in the playoffs. Then sign him next year for the full-time job.
This is horrible this idea.
Ah, just pick up Billy Wagner on the cheap for next year.
It’s pretty fool proof
Who the hell invited my wife??
I see a "This Old Cub" plug coming up.
Speaking of plugs… you should have seen what came out last inning…
Thanks for making me clean that mess up Pat
Sorry Janitor Guy, it’s in my contract.
Hmm, that’s not a bad clause. Maybe if I pitch next year, I’ll have my agent add something that allows me to leave the game to take a dump whenever I want, leaving Andy Masur to pitch that inning.
Why was there 5 whole goldfish floating in the crapper? along with alot of corn..Explain that Pat!!
We did it. We won. Now, you can watch to see if those NBA fuckjobs can win.
And Nomar? I’m on my way home. And I’m ovulating on the 13th.
The front that’s passing over the city should give us some considerable rainfall pretty shortly, so I would expect a ninth-inning rain delay. Which would be OK for the Cubs, of course, since the rain delay has been a big part of this current winning streak.
It’s reached a surprising 75 degrees for a high in Bozeman, Montana today, however.
…and I want my baby to be born in Chicago…
Aren’t we tied 1-1 in extra time? It says it’s being broadcast live.
Abby Wambach, the player who might just break Hamm’s records one day, scored in the 112th minute with a powerful 10-yard header off a corner kick from Kristine Lilly. It was Wambach’s fourth goal of the Olympics and 18th in her last 20 games.
I want us to name the baby Clark Addison Garciaparra.
Does Old Style make baby formula?
Now I’m talking about the weather again. I want Skilling’s job. Maybe we can have a daily contest to see who can predict the high temperature at O’Hare for the day.
Yes. It’s called, "Special Export."
In that case, I’m having a six-pack of Special Export delivered to your house, Chuck.
Am I black? Am I white? You don’t know.
Better question Eric, who the hell are you?
Lay down the bunt dammit!
Woof.
Thanks, Corey. Please have it delivered close to October 26th. Baby #3 is due on that date and we’ll need it.
If you buy extra, please give it to the Desipio talkbackers who don’t like to discuss how high strikeout rates for leadoff hitters are… uh… bad.
God forbid a little unsantized facts are discussed.
Intentional walk to Lee to get to Nomar?
Intentionally walk the guy in front of me? I kill you Garner!
I’m emulating the Genius…
HA! Score one for old scrap iron.
Hi! I’m sanitized for your protection!
Move Patterson down to the eighth spot in the order! His strikeouts have been killing us all month!
Face it Chuck, you’re the whipping boy on the boards until BC posts another article.
My turn… is a 5 run lead safe?
Hey, my initials are CT too…
I had to walk the leadoff man in the inning, because I feel as though the fans haven’t gotten their money’s worth of adrenaline today.
… and I thought that the wild pitch would be a nice touch as well.
Where is my hair? Did a line drive in Houston buzz it off?
No problem, CT. They can whip me all they want because they were bashing every-fifth-day Bako while I was bashing the guy who was killing this team every day. Hell, if Corey had a $17 mildo contract he’d have drawn more flack than Sosa has.
Corey has been a 140 or so strikeout guy for his career. He cooled on that rate for a while, but now seems to be back in his old groove. His bat is still hot, and he has been carrying this team since the second week of August. But the K’s make me worried that this is another hot stretch just like last year. Which cooled into general suckiness.
I see the Corey bandwagon and I wouldn’t mind getting on it. Just don’t sell me a ticket until he does this for about 8 weeks or so. Each time he’s done this before, he’s disappointed soon.
All that said, the glovework he’s flashed has been huge. Nice to see considering how he started the year. He seems to have finally learned the field. It’s been about 2 months since he played a single into a triple. Let’s hope the defense never cools.
Gametracker said Bagwell advanced on "defensive indifference." What’s that? I thought it was a typo for "defensive interference."
Stolen base that wasn’t challeneged. Bags gets no credit for a steal.
Defensive indifference is when you don’t hold a guy on and he steals a base without a throw from the catcher. You don’t get a stolen base.
As for Corey "dragging the whole offense" down with this strikeouts, that’s a tad bit extreme.
That’s like saying Molly Brown’s fat ass took down the Titantic. Hey, it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t cause it.
Much like Stella, I got my groove back!
I’m when no one gives a sh1t whether the guy on first steals second.
I sunk after hitting an ensberg.
Molly got off the ship and it still went down.
Uh, Chuck, Patterson was tearing the cover off the ball until he blew out his knee last summer.
Hey Houston, just lie there while we kick the rest of the dirt on you.
Is that good?
Da Farns for closer!
How come I’m not even mentioned and I get slammed (Indirectly anyway)?
Take that, Desipio naysayers!
And tonight I’ll pull more Lincoln Park trixies than the rest of you combined. Chew on that one for awhile.
No matter how goofy my hair looks, I rock!
Defensive indifference is why I stopped talking to the media.
"Patterson was tearing the cover off the ball until he blew out his knee last summer"
Wrong. Over his last month and a half of 2003, C Pat hit .264 OBP .310 SLG .331. with 8 walks and 29 strikouts.
That’s suckiness. His May 2003 was huge and that’s what everyone remembers.
And that’s why I want to see him hot for more than a 4 week stretch before I’m a believer.
Didn’t mean it as a knock on you BC, but you know that’s what will happen.
Good win today. What’s going on here? I see the Sosa bashing has eased up a bit after that big homerun. Prior wasn’t so lucky. You guys didn’t take it easy on him. Then you got Chuck getting bashed about Corey.
I have to admit, it was a well played game today. Prior wasn’t his best again, but any time you beat the Astros like that you have to be happy.
So from me, you won’t get much bashing today. I just couldn’t pull the bash trigger on Farns today, although he did walk the lead off batter and threw that wild pitch. Also, he did have a nice 5 run cushion. A win is a win.
Let’s continue it tomorrow.
Agreed, BB. This team, after losing 6 of 9 against the NL West, needed to come back and win about 9 out of 13. Well, they’ve won 8 out of 10.
Nice work.
It always feels good to crush the Astros. Believe it or not, they are still entertaining the fantasy that they can win the Wild Card. Time for the Cubs to crush that notion once and for all this year.
Hi, Cubs fans! Tell that idiot MacPhail to get a team! He doesn’t know what he’s doing unlike Kenny "The Wheeler Dealer" Williams. The book says you don’t have a team unless you have Carl Everett taking up space.
Now, listen.
I hope you’ll enjoy watching the Cubs play at the Cell, or at Miller Park, or Elfstrom Stadium, or at Thillens Stadium (heh heh), because I’m shutting you down tomorrow!
Read this:
http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-040826cubsstatement,1,7626670.story?coll=cs-home-headlines
Hahahahahahahaha!
I’ll have to act fast. You know, protect the public and all.
It’s time to look at one of my greatest hits:
I have my vision for Wrigley Field:
Enjoy your season, Cubs fans!
I’m Richard M. Daley and I approved this message.
We just got 3-hit by Aaron Harang. We lost the series to the woeful Reds, and were very lucky to not get swept.
You can’t catch us, though, we swear. So, uh, stop thinking about it.
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