Pitching matchup
Mets: Jae Weong Seo, 0-2, 8.00 ERA
Cubs: Greg Maddux, 0-2, 8.62 ERA
Yikes.
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Pitching matchup
Mets: Jae Weong Seo, 0-2, 8.00 ERA
Cubs: Greg Maddux, 0-2, 8.62 ERA
Yikes.
We got our asses handed to us. Chip I’d love to hand my ass to you. Wink Wink.
Mets
SS Kaz Matt Suhey
LF Shane Spencer
RF Karim Garcia
C Mike Piazza
CF Mike Cameron
1B JR Phillips (not really, it’s Jason)
3B Todd Zeile (really)
2B Joe McEwing
P Jae Seo
Cubs
2B Todd Walker
CF Corey Patterson
RF Sammy Sosa
LF Moises Alou
3B Aramis Ramirez
1B Derrek Lee
SS Ramon Martinez
C Paul Bako
P Greg Maddux
Early line, over/under on how many runs Maddux gives up in this game: 6.5. I’ll take the over.
Why the hell am I on the bench today?
Hey DK. Did I find you on my property the other day?
Because of me.
Who knew?
Here’s a fun game. During the commercials, click on one of the Google ads, then just hit ‘back’ and see if anybody’s posted since then!
See Andy, I’m helpful.
Joe McEwing AND Todd Zeile? That’s why I came to the Mets. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
What’s the over/under on Cub stolen bases? Mind you, all of them will be on the Japanese pitcher, because I’ve still got a gun.
Today’s exotic wagering:
O/U
Maddux IP: 6 1/3
Maddux ER: 5
Times Ron mispronounces Jae Seo: 4 (correct pronunciation: Jay So)
Piazza points to Chip and winks: 2
Dusty visits the mound: 4
Rothchild visits the mound: 2
Dusty asks Rothchild, "We paid HOW MUCH for this guy?": 2.5
E-ramis errors plus hits: 3
Total number of Cub relievers who warm up: 3
Maddux goes an inning without giving up a run? It’s a miracle!
I am the home of Jae Seo…not Japan.
What’s our record?
8-16.
8 and 16!
How did we ever win 8?
It’s a miracle.
It’s a miracle!
Look, patience!
We are reporting that Corey Patterson walked.
Do not adjust your monitors.
I heet the ball long and far!
Not so far.
Did Chip Caray just say I was high?
Clutch, 2-out hitting? Who are these guys?
I know rotting corpses, and you, Moises Alou, are no rotting corpse.
Yet.
My new name is grey beard.
Oh Chip! Only 31 more days until you come…to town! By the way, Costco has AstroGlide by the case now!
My body rejects leads like a bad liver transplant.
Ouch!!
"That’s a Maddux calling card. Hitters swing at the first pitch because he’s around the plate so, so much."
Yeah, and his stuff is so, so, so you just hack at it.
I keep calling for the pitches that go over the fence
Yes, it’s true. I’ll swing at everything.
Hey, anybody notice that over the past eight years I’m the white Reggie Sanders!
1995 Cardinals
1995 Cubs
1996 Baltimore
1996 Philadelphia
1997 Dodgers
1998 Texas
1998 Dodgers
1998 Marlins
1999 Rangers
2000 Mets
2001 Mets
2002 Rockies
2003 Mets
2003 Expos
2004 Mets
That’s nine years, Todd.
Seo what? I’m Seo-seo, too!
You know, "Arthur" is actually funny as hell. Sunday at 7 p.m., WGN.
By the way, I’m still dead.
And drunk.
Hey Karry, wasn’t Jae Weong Seo the name of that hooker that gave you the Hong Kong Dong?
Paul Bako is still lousy.
Glad to see something in this world doesn’t change every day.
Why the hell does Paul Bako have a contract?
Did I read my name?
Hello again, America, it’s your old friend Karry Ling! I believe I got the Jap Clap from Rae Dawn Chong! No, wait, oh, I forget.
Anyway, Chip is always talking about the hi-definition monitor they have up in the booth. Wouldn’t they get the same view by, I don’t know…looking out the window of the booth!?!
Why did we sign Maddux?
A double… That’s 180 feet… That’s 60 yards.
not a bad afternoon for a fullback
I own you Maddux
We’re on. Inside out, of course.
I used to get that pitch.
This may be the most important inning of the season for me. If I can pitch out of this, I’m still The Smartest Pitcher Ever. If not, then my contract is a sinkhole and the Meat Tray replaces me once Prior gets off the ‘roids.
Add some more yards on there Matt. After this outing, how will people make excuses for Maddux? They can’t use the "he’s better after 3 starts this year than last year" arguement.
Greg who? That’s a ball, skinny!
I don’t give shit to corpses.
Uh oh.
Clutch.
Nice
I’m being effectivly wild, effectivly getting the opposing team on base.
That’s an assist!
Move the Bakometer damn you!
I taught Greg something. If you tire them out from running the bases (from dropped third strikes or wild throws into the outfield), they might be too tired to play in the field.
Smartest…pitcher…ever.
Unbelieveable
Why are the fans standing and cheering in the third inning? I’m scared! What if somebody pees on my lawn, or my Cabriolet, or me?
Hey it’s me, Greg. My ERA is dropping, though. And 4 Ks — mercy!
(under my breath) whew, that was close.
Who’s learning from who on this team? Maddux – 2IP, 49 pitches.
Thank God, sometimes, Piazza hits like a fag
Give me credit. It’s 3 IP.
Did you know Mike Piazza and myself could stand, face to face, totally nude, for 3 weeks straight, and nothing would happen.
Absolutely, nothing.
Mark Grudzlkjoipj;lkj;lkj who?
I’m the second baseman!
Mark who?
I hit like another TW from Boston. Too bad that one is on ice in Scottsdale now.
Hey guys!
I’m ready to come back now!
Who wants a Mets jersey?
How about a nice Wally Backman throwback?
Can I assume that I just got my career high in walks in one game with two?
It’s me, Corey.
CP’s two walks have called us down
Is here.
The Rainbow Connection.
Pathetic.
Es mio, Sammee!
Corey distracts me with stealing base when I try to heet ball. So I not swing.
Why are they showing my girlfriend on TV!
Is she missing?
I wonder if a Mets loss will make fans more nostalgic for the old days when I platooned with Tim Teufel.
And if my throwback jersey sells, do I get any royalties? Hell, maybe enough throwback jerseys in New York and people will suggest me as a candidate to replace Art Howe or Joe Torre.
I hope the Mets get their ass beat
Hey look Cubs, another crappy pitcher to beat up on!
Look out!
I hope Jerry Manuel gets fired in…wherever he is…so I can get his job.
Oddibe McDowell walked twice once.
Don,
I think you meant Oddibe walked once, twice.
Oddibe McDowell once walked twice.
That’s TWO walks, bay-bee!
My OBP the last three games is .667.
Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Flannel Boy.
Someone talking about putting things in anothers pipe?
I mean, Groove.
I’m a free agent after the season and I was wondering if you could have Mr. Hendry give me a call. If I don’t get away from Jim Edmonds my anus is going to rupture.
Help me!
Did someone mention anus?
My ERA is under eight now!
I’m smokin’!
Wow!
Dropped…third strike!
I am the king!
Damn that D-Lee, I could have had a passed ball and an error. Instead, all we get is a crummy old out.
Gotta couple of questions about one of the Google Sponsors:
a) How can a Detroit-based ticket broker have hundreds of seats to every Cubs home game?
b) How can they get away with charging several hundred dollars a seat for EVERY SINGLE GAME, not just the big ones?
I used to get the daily Cubs score on my old cell phone, however, I got a new one. A Motorola, and still am stuck with crappy US Cellular, and Yahoo no longer supports that service for US Cellular. Does anybody know any place where I could sign up to get this someplace else?
Back to the game…
Because the Cubs are drawing 40,000 for every game.
Ticket brokers? We have no comment.
Look! Greg Couch! Get under the table!
I fall down on those so the official scorer won’t give me an error. Wow. I blow.
Lets see if I can GIDP
Back it up boys, I’m hitting.
Please, please, please stop talking about This Old Cub.
Sweet Jebus.
What town is West Tennessee in?
What town is West Tennessee in?
Did I call it or what?
Still lousy. Creeping towards the yellow, though.
Hey, I’m in there for my defensive ability.
We’re in Jackson, Andy. But you might want to try Lansing first.
I think the Paul Bak-o-meter is a little out of order..Shouldn’t it be Lousy then Sucks then God awful?
Actually, Paul you’re in there for your defensive LIability.
Um Dusty i’m batting .333 I think I’d do a better job all around.
Hey guys, lay off!! If you think its so easy thinking of creative new ways to kill rallies, I’d like to see some of you come down here and try it!! Jerks!!!
Sucks — As in, this guy sucks, that movie sucks, my girlfriend sucks. See it’s not all bad.
Lousy — The Bulls are lousy, According to Jim is lousy, my girlfriend’s lousy and now I have lice, too. All bad.
God-awful — Self explanatory.
Gee, I wonder if I will steal?
I catch pop up! Cheep, buddy, please tell fans how good defense I play this year, buddy!
Yeah, this is a lot better than Oakland.
Please, somebody, shoot me!
I’m back bitches!
Well at least he hasn’t hit anyone and walked only one.
No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!
![]("https://www.desipio.com/images/donger.jpg"/)
Over 1,200,000 sympathy blow jobs since September 2001!
Hah Hah I’m going to get a live glimpse of The Living Legend Andy Pratt her in Oklahoma City tonight.
Chip said I pitched yesterday, giving up "just 2 ER" in two innings.
I suck catching pop ups, so I’d like to thank the new rows behind home plate because it saves me that much more embarassment.
Pratt still sucks
Did they mention I also walked 5 in that same 2 innings?
Just keep the ball out of the dirt guys, anything’s a strike down there.
Kid’s got a million dollar arm and a ten cent head.
Andy fucks like he pitches. He’s all over the place.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
is this?
http://www.thesportsauthority.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1743566&cp=711608.715323.715404.715406&page=5&pageBucket=0&parentPage=family
Hey Grudzielanek in 15 games I have 1 less homer then you had all season. I think you should be my back up.
Last chance to get me in the Desipio Fantasy Leagues, baby!
I’m pitching against the Astros in Colorado tommorrow? Somebody alert the FAA. Low flying planes will be in danger.
Have I ever pitched in Colorado before?
Hey Jason Phillips, give me my glasses back!
First 3 innings – 50 pitches
Next 3 innings – 27 pitches
Even though half of us is on the DL, we still put each other through vigorous "stretching" every night at the motel.
Did I say motel? I meant clubhouse. Heh. Heh.
Oh, this is awkward…
How is it we’re in the sixth and I have not said, "You reap what you Seo" yet. Man, I’m losing my pun-ability.
I’m hitting .381, bitch!
I have great range! Did you see me go two steps to my left! Of course I still missed the ball by about six steps.
Want to take bets on whether we’ll see me in a one run game?
Personally, I think Dusty will leave me in there until I blow a couple to justify Hawkins being made the closer.
I thought I’d hit more homers in Wrigley?
We all did Derrek.
Now who’s a 6 inning pitcher?
OK, I did a good job and now Dusty needs to replace me for the 8th.
Bunt, damn you!
Uh, is anybody warming up in the Cubs pen?
Way to go!
Hi,
I’ve got a fully rested bullpen and an aging starter that hasn’t thrown a good game the entire year and I think I’ll send him out there to face the top of the Mets lineup.
By the way, if you’re asked to bunt in front of the pitcher, you are really, really bad.
CBS has me warming in the pen, but I’ve been doing that for awhile.
I’ve got one of the best starters in history at the top of his game, and the top of the Mets lineup is only as good as the bottom of a real lineup.
Well, we’ve got 2 hits apiece.
Well, what’s the score?
Here’s a fact we score more runs when I’m in the line up.
3-1 Cubs, and it’s the 2-3-4 hitters for the Mets in the 8th.
Guess they had me in there to bunt?
Ok, that makes sense.
I hope you guys aren’t mad at me after I blow this game in the ninth.
I think we’re going to see it.
I’m the 7th inning guy, not the 8th.
To be fair, Greggie, it makes more sense than leaving ME in there to bunt. Which was also done…
I won’t give Joe a chance to blow this one. Don’t worry.
Here we go!
Is it me or do I have the biggest freaking head ever?
Tightpants, you might not want to throw me one of your patented hanging sliders.
Who is Karim Garcia? Who is he? That’s what I want to know.
Good job Tightpants!
I could not take advantage of the BS call on the 0-2 pitch. I only hope my boyfriend isn’t watching…if he thinks any less of me for this, I’d die! I’d absolutely die!
//runs off crying
//watches Beaches
"running will be Spencer here"
He will be so fast that he will actually personify running. I am a poet.
At least 2 guys have "singled to shortstop" this game. Is Martinez butchering the plays, or are these just balls that he knocks down, and normally wouldn’t get to?
2003 version
When running on 3-2 count, look as good, you will not.
This is close, the game is.
Luke… Luke….
I am your father.
Daily Double
-2 K’s, 2 walks
There goes my hitting streak buddy!!
I’m in the pen suckers!
I’m heating up in the bullpen. I want to have my arm loose so I can field the rocket shots they’re going to hit back up the middle.
Football, baseball, what’s next for me, basketball?
Let’s predict how many pitches it will take me to get through the inning.
Actually, I am a pretty good player, a freshman at Deerfield.
It’s no warm enough for me too heet the ball!
Joe and I are not on speaking terms.
nor are we
How close did I come to an HR?
Nothing like getting ahead in the count.
We are close, Joe and I.
Caught one!
The best Maddux start followed by the best JoBo appearance.
Is it over?
We are on speaking terms now.
Borowski kept it under 20 pitches!
Of course it’s over.
Karim Schmarim. I’ve got the biggest melon in baseball!
You also had a bunch of fat girls flirting with you behind our dougout last season.
The brain therefore you speak of, being a sensible thing, exists only in the mind. by free online poker