Pitching matchup
Pissburgh: Paul Maholm 10-15, 4.67 ERA
Cubs: Marquis du Suc 12-8, 4.07 ERA
Lineups
Pissburgh
Haven’t posted it yet. Sneaky bastards.
Cubs
Al, lf
PonDeRosa, 2b
Derrek Lee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Ginger, rf
Hernando de Soto, c
Craig Monroe, cf
Dance Fever, ss
Not so Grand Marquis, p
Thunder Matt is in the lineup.
Craig “0 for the game” Monroe. Great.
My long balls can reach the bleachers in less than twelve parsecs.
It’s supposed to be almost 90 degrees, the wind is out of the SSW (dead center) and it’s the last Friday game. Wow, what I would give to be there.
Cubs can really put the hammer down this weekend playing Pissburgh with the Crew down in the ATL.
I’m so lonely today! No one is playing in me.
reading is a skill. check the lineup again.
what?
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070921&content_id=2221728&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
everybody got their defibulators on hand today?
Would that mean I’d have to update this pic?
http://www.batug.com/sepet/ABA_wendell_ladner.jpg
I was down for a few minutes. People and fans around were scared. Thanks a lot!
Substitute a couple of baseballs for the ABA Basketball and you should be all set.
Maybe we can crack the lineup this weekend…just for old time’s sake…and also some of the other wayward Cubs sent by Hendry to the halfway house known as Pittsburgh…
On any other day of the year, this score from Busch would have been cause for high comedy. Oh, it still is, just there’s some other stuff to pay attention to.
This is the expiration date on the bill of Craig Monroe’s hat.
You can try to butch the St. Pat’s HS choir up by putting them in baseball jerseys, but once you make them tuck them into their brown slacks they’re back to being sissies again.
Am I really pronounced “Mahollum”?
What’s with the fossils who brought their own US flag to the game? Did they think the Cubs would forget to put one up?
Sounds Yiddish to me.
**Packing for his Cubs Postgame Live appearance**
– Short sleeve dress shirt (check)
– Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss (check)
– Flowbee for quick hair adjustment (check)
– I Heart Luke Stuckmeyer lapel pin (check)
I just knew I’d get to play a meaningful game here one day!
Irish. Rhymes with Colm.
Do I umpire every Cubs series now?
According to my Gamecast pic, I am one cheerful motherfucker!
BRRAVE
First, Rosh Hashanah, then Maholm. Mazel Tov!
How do you pronounce me?
If anybody cares
Nyjer Morgan, cf (Careful how you pronounce this, Len)
Nate McLouth, lf
Freddy Sanchez, 2b
Adam LaRoche, 2b
X Nady, rf
Jose Bautista, 3b
Ronny Paulino, c
Cesar, ss
Maholm, p
Fucking Dempster gave me the flu.
Wait, in that case fucking is an adjective not a verb.
Wind’s blowing out. I’m gonna get lots of run support! I will pitch accordingly, by giving up nine in the first.
Nice start.
1b, SB…
My legs aren’t at the ballpark, but neither am I!
Even better
It’s nice to see a close play at second when the runner gets that big of a jump. It’d be even better to see a Cubs pitcher actually prevent such a jump with a quicker delivery.
Like the actor Colm Meaney. Col-um.
7 pitches, 2 over the plate. Nothing like accuracy.
Just how Lou drew it up.
This game is really going to suck, isn’t it?
Hey, he caught it.
Man, I would be tits-out right now.
I like how Murton tried to get himself lined up to make a throw to third but had to reach way over to catch the ball. He’s a shitty OFer getting shittier.
Well, crap.
This game does seem to have the elements of suck.
Huge, cool news:
Wholesome former THE BRADY BUNCH star MAUREEN MCCORMICK is set to reveal the beloved 70s TV series’ most shocking secret in a new book – she and her on-screen sister had a lesbian fling. MCCormick’s tell-all, Here’s The Story, won’t hit bookstores until 2008, but publishers are already buzzing about the big reveal. As well as talking candidly about her well-documented eating disorder and drug problems in the book, TV’s Marcia Brady will come clean about a romance she had with co-star Eve Plumb.
Anybody know what happened to me? Umpire’s union maybe?
I’m sure Murton’s stellar D won’t cost the Cubs any runs today. The one he caught to end the inning he nearly played into a triple.
Of course I keep getting lost in Chicago! I think the Cubs play on the South Side!
I’m going to swing at the first pitch no matter what!
First pitch fastball. Me likey. 1-1.
Aaaaand we give a shit why?…..
Marcia Marcia Marcia!!!!
#49, And sometimes, that’s ok.
Sure, it was worth it.
Man, that ball almost left the Gamecast screen.
would be nice
Meh. Unless she describes a three-some her and Jan had with Tiger, I just dont’ care.
ALf!
I’m heating up, essay.
Blam, Ottomans.
That sucked. How are we ever going to get a pitcher in the stretch? That’s just dumb baseball.
I always detected some butch in Eve Plumb. She definitely was the pitcher.
Is that what Ronny Paulino is wearing behind the plate?
I think this gamecast could hit the 400 mark today.
At least no clogging of the basepaths.
I heard that fans at Wrigley are starting to grumble about my play. I hope I come back with a big season in ’08, or it’ll be my contract they’re bitchin’ about.
Why do we care? May I quote the British show, “Coupling.”
Sally Harper: “I don’t understand the male fascination with lesbianism. It’s a whole area of sex that there’s nothing for the man to do…. I think I just figured it out.”
Want to see the game today? No dice.
I’ve become one hell of a slap hitter.
2005 DLee woulda parked that ball on Sheffield. Pussy.
I’m awake today fellas, I swear.
I ain’t got shit today.
Yo, faux-me. You don’t hear me bitching about the stretch.
Works…at least it does outside the U.S. where I am at the moment.
this has GIDP written all over it.
Chuck, did somebody spam your Paulcast Window or are you really posting that shit?
Got my good stuff today.
Blam!
Holy shit….holy shit. We’re scoring today!
We came to play today, boys.
…on every pitch…
Delish.
Cakes!
OGDENS!
Ouch.
Ramirez now five ribs away from 100. Would be nice if someone got there this year…for aesthetics.
Is where Aramis just hit one
Gamecast says 4 runs, no outs. That can’t be right.
The Cesar trade paid off again.
That home run was me.
Boy, do I deserve to be on a last place team.
Lets get 10. In the first inning.
Izturis? No way. Never happened here.
I knew Izturis would help the Cubs cause one day
Get ready to see this line-up for a few days. Lefties the next four games: Duke, Gorzelanny, Dontrell, and Olsen. BK Kim against TBA for the Cubs next Thursday.
I still suck.
i was looking at pancakes’ ass. gimme a handfull of that.
I’m not that much of a shock. Really.
Monroe’s swinging at pitches a little too close for comfort.
That single didn’t mean anything.
I noticed Aramis didn’t dally too long at second on his home run trot.
We’re still going strong! Come on in!
It’s happenin’ over here
and we’re still in the first.
I hate Theriot. What the hell is he doing? Now Marquis has to bat with RISP instead of leading off the next inning with no one on.
I’m a douche.
Let’s see how many I can give right back.
I don’t know why, but you really must think that I was sent to the majors to haunt your dreams with grittyscraphustleness. Let’s see how many diving catches I make today. Over/under is 3.
Worst outfield possible is out there today… Nice catch Monroe.
I just gave up a hit to Cesar. Take me out back and shoot me like an old sow.
Is that it for today or are we expected to provide more?
That was a nice effort, until I tried to break my fall with my glove.
Hey 108, you want me to come in and play left?
HAUNTING. YOUR. DREAMS.
The latest in a long line of Cub killers
Ogdens.
Soto, you have quashed me!
the future is now.
Haunt this you shifty bastard.
Was that a caught stealing?? WTF?? I had forgotten what those were like.
Sorry about the “up yours, Nyjer.”
I’ve got nothin’
Slappy slap slap
Cubs score 4 in the first on HR by Soriano and Ramirez, hang on to win 4-3 after Ryan Dempster loads the bases in the 9th.
for D-Lee
Hendry might win exec of the year for the Cesar trade.
Thanks Cesar… again.
Me not so good.
Trade of the Century
stupid stupid.
You will not get me out today.
Looks like Cesar’s throwing this one.
Gosh, this Cesar guy sucks.
Come here rammy. I left something in your shorts.
GET BACK TO THE FRENCH FRIES BOBBY!
You guys gave me another run to work with? Hahahaha
Goddamn busy Fridays. Making me work and shit, and not being part of an apparent record-breaking 130+ posts-through-two-innings.
Has Izturis made two errors?
Well so much for me.
I have a way of making routine fly balls look very difficult.
I don’t play anymore
Look at that! The guy who got intimate in the dugout with A Ram after he bashed that homer just made a throwing error on another A Ram grounder!
THEY ARE THROWING THE GAME!!!!
And that’s why you rarely start games ginger. Too bad we have quality corner infielders, otherwise we’d stash you there.
i am starting at catcher next year
Could someone put a real pitcher in the game, please?
I’ve realized that it’s all on me to keep base runners honest with this pitching staff. Consider the NL Central on notice for next season.
White courtesy phone please.
I’m bored. This leads too big.
thats the game this will be
Gotta get outta here by sundown. Maybe if I suck, Lou will pull me and I can atone foe this suckfest tonight at the shul.
Pat says the Cubs bullpen is up. He didn’t say who though. Kevin Hart? Sean Gallagher? Sean Marshall?
mutherfucker. what kind of crap is this.
Ok, now he says it’s Kevin Hart “getting ready in a hurry”.
Go fuck yourself.
me
What am I doing?
I can piss away a lead with the best of them.
I feel like they should be playing the Benny Hill theme song in the background during this game.
I’ll pitch
We love giving away extra bases at all costs.
How do you give up five runs to the fukking Pirates in the first three innings?????
I was just thinking the exact same thing
Don’t worry. I’ll kill this rally.
ogdens
I really want to pitch that tiebreaker game a week from Monday.
I missed another cutoff man. That one let Cesar go to third. Honestly, how fucking bad can I be?
I am who you thought I was.
Are you kidding me? Cesar $@%(#@#^%%&**@%^*(@$@$#^($( Izturis?
WAKE THE FUKK UP!!!!!!!!
GET MARQUIS OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!!
Triple Triple? WTF WTF?
fuck Marquis
fun while it lasted, wasn’t it?
How did you enjoy my clutch start?
how can you lose your head in a playoff race?
Has Lou said who is pegged to start a potential game 163?
Jason Marquis, this was not your day young man.
I walked away it was 5-1, now it’s 6-5. WTF?
BOOOOOOOOO
I can’t handle the load today. And I’m not talking about the one in Marquis’ pants.
Gamecast says Ohman’s coming in. That’s not true, is it?
Ohman? Are you fukking kidding me?????
Marquis is haunted by me. In fact he is haunted by the first four innings of every game. Can’t we let Marmol pitch 1-4 and bring Marquis in for 5-9? He seems to figure it out after the 4th.
Jason Marquis
You have a lot to atone for, in a very short time.
Repent my son. Repent!
Technically that would be Marquis.
Marquis would start game 163 if it happens.
Personally, I’d go with Trachsel for old times’ sake.
Lou is pretty sure I will stand up throughout the rest of the season.
Good to see that Marquis du Suc finally found his second half form. He must have used his day off yesterday really well.
Instead of staking him to a lead, lets just try a stake through the heart?
i suck
Don’t worry, I’ll scream into my glove and it will all be OK
Yep I’m in. And I just gave up an RBI bunt single to the pitcher.
Baruch Atah Idunno.
A bunt single? Fuck me.
Are you fuckking kidding me?
Jason Marquis, you’re worthless. I wish you nothing but ill. How in the hell does a major league pitcher make the fukking Pirates look like the ’27 Yankees? They’re a last place team, you fukking loser.
Wheeee I scored! Can I punch Rammy in the ass now?
That little Nyjer can really run.
I’ll win this game.
Didn’t you hear we are pitching the last two days. Who’s worried about game 163? We’re worried about 161 & 162!
But he can’t swim for shit.
possibly the ugliest, most pathetic, and most unlikely RBI you will ever see.
Just about describes today’s game so far.
I got out to get a sammich while it’s 5-2 and come back to this? Fuck this shit.
21-18
Steelers.
Mike, go get another one of your rally sandwiches while the cubs are up. Extra mayo.
Don’t forget the tomato inning.
The curveball mystifies me.
Hey, I came through for the Tards last year didn’t I. Soon as I drop off the rotation the Cubs can then go on to a great post season. I will then receive yet another ring from a team that did not allow me to play with them during the World Series. I guess that is not really good luck for me. At least I’ll be able to pawn them for mountain of blow when the Speez and I hang out this winter.
I’ve got to go atone for the way I pitched today.
I taught Monroe everything he knows.
I guess I will start looking like Cy Young now that I have the lead.
I’m going to have to cut Soto’s throat
What’s my VORP?
That was before I became president and sold insurance on TV.
Fuck that shit. I ain’t sharing my blow with Marquis. Have you seen that schnozz on him? The guy’s liable to finish off whole 8-ball in one snort.
I’m down with a Steelers win.
How about setting yourself on fire? Only this time don’t do it on my mound, retard.
Well honk my hooter, that was a peach.
Time for me yet?
Holy shit am I slow. I didn’t score from second on a ball that hit the top of the wall right under the basket.
Its time for one of me.
Sure, I’ll pinch hit.
Triple play, here I come!
How did I not drive anyone in on that hit?
This game is pretty fucking far from me.
Ronny Ce(deno)? Are you fucking kidding me?
The Cubs rarely score in this situation.
I can’t believe I got a single and no RBIs on a fly ball off the vines.
i hope he strikes out
I get to pinch hit in a pressure situation.
This should end well.
Again, that single was worthless.
GIDP
K
?
Well it seems to be a good day for no hit no filed Shortstops, maybe I’ll get lucky
I just wet myself.
The last person you want in this situation, by far.
Of course they’re batting Cedeno. Shit to replace shit.
I picked the wrong weekend to quit sniffing glue.
Pat just said every guy’s a threat. I wonder if he meant me too.
Cedeno? Are you fucking kidding me?
Gonna take a lot of hits at this rate.
Now I’ll just get thrown out stealing on a walk.
Look! A hit!
And an RBI!
Cedeno got a hit?
Wow, CubFaninPA totally beat me to the punch.
I’m pulling the same plow Soto is.
Blind. Squirrel. Acorn.
What the fuck?
Ronnie, lean out over the plate. Just stick out an elbow and take one for the team.
I’m the worst…ever.
Went from bananas to just fuckin batshit motherfuckin crazy.
CEDENO!?!?!?!
Go! No! Stay! NO wait! Go. NO. um staygooostop! Good job!
“People who hate Theriot” is me.
What’s next? The pesky “pro-homocide” crowd.
are we using us today?
My judgement is based on sound waves
Station-to-station.
These guys are worse than our softball team.
How many pitches will I see in this at bat, 1 or 2?
on a first pitch swing here?
Franquelis? I’ve gotten drunk on that a couple of times.
Would be nice right now.
If Monroe and Cedeno get a hit in the same inning then I hope the Pirates let Maholm pitch a complete game.
no matter hjow many runs we score here, it wont’ be enuph
Judging by our Gameday photos, who’s darker?
Sounds good to me as long as they keep em coming in.
My WHiP is 1.52, is that good?
Grand Slam breakfast at Dennys would be nice too.
Hey if I were there the bases would be empty. Two guys would have scored and the other would have been out by 165 feet. All or nothing I say. By the way, I am available. Just sayin’. Hello?
Soriano is the last person I want up w/ bases loaded 0 out.
I can’t stand a 2-0 count.
You might remember me as the composer of the “Chariots of Fire” theme.
Geeeee-Whizzzzz!!!!!
That Nyjer
Cueing Chuck in 5…4…3…2…1…
DP here?
How come Fuck gets starred in the comment but not the name?
Tomorrow’s headline: Cubs Lose 108-99.
Boy oh Boy oh Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy……boy oh boy oh boy. oh boy…..
I’ll settle for a DeRo sac fly. Tie it up and let Lee take the shot at breaking it open.
But really, could more runners have scored? I’m relying on Gamecast here.
Nice battle here.
I apparently throw only one pitch.
Well, we held a guy when the outfielder threw the ball to 3rd, not home… so yes.
If you think that I could seriously happen in the 3rd inning, then you aren’t watching this game.
even i suck at that
at least two more, yes, based on Quade’s decision/indecision. What’s a couple runs in a game like this anyway?
Long fly please
How the fuck does Craig Monroe not score when Ronny Paulino takes the ball and runs 20 feet towards the dugout with it? That guy is a fucking idiot.
Gosh!!!
ogdens
Not the result I was looking for.
Is it possible for any one team to leave more people on 3rd base? Is there a stat out there for that because I believe the Cubs are the alltime record holders.
Wild pitch… thank god.
Phew
did that hit lee?
That wild pitch almost scored two runs. It bounced off the bricks into the middle of the infield.
What number comes after 1?
How hard is it to find a decent third base coach?
Craig where are you going? Craig?
This is just fucking bad baseball.
I would have stopped it
Christ guys, if you insist on swinging at everything, I’m just gonna hafta throw one away to let you score.
well you know you are getting a fastball here…
Thanks Frank. We can’t seem to actually drive those runs in. RBI to you fucko
Juuuuuuuust a bit inside.
If not for me, the Cubs would not score with a runner at third.
#249, just because they’re different doesn’t mean you should be in favor of killing them.
We’re available!
Come on DLee, let me at this guy.
Well, we got 2… god bless.
Nurse! Up my dose of vallium please! Stat!
Derrek Lee has me, even with the wind blowing out.
how close was the DLee fly-out to getting out? Gamecast showed it as a warning track F9.
Time to restore order, you silly little bitches
Pat said that Morgan caught it up against the vines.
Well, at least I’m out of the game.
I fucked up so bad last inning Lou replaced me with Felix.
Kevin Hart scares me because his Gameday photo kinda looks like Apex.
Kevin Hart’s GameDay photo is classic. He looks like one of the Icy Hot Stuntaz all grown up.
Oh, and the Pie is in CF.
Kevin Hart
How did Monroe fuck up? I mean, I see where he got the start in center, so I’m not surprised, but did his incomeptence lead to a bunch of runs or something?
… looks like another nail-biter. Cardiologists all over Chicagoland must be sending the Tribune kickbacks.
Ohman and Monroe out in one fell swoop
I still have Ohman’s picture up.
Is for Strikeout
If the Izturis trade wasn’t enough to convince you I should be manager of the year, I should also remind you that I got Hart in return for sending Boom-Boom to Baltimore.
Next year’s number 5?
Or Ryan O’Malley?
sosa? patterson?
Maybe you should let Kevin Hart finish me before you strap on the kneepads, #321.
What about me #321?
His Gynocologist won’t let him pitch anymore
Monroe didn’t do too bad today. He almost made a nice diving catch on Izturis but knocked the ball out of his own glove when he hit the ground. Izturis ended up scoring that inning. He made a terrible throw home later when he had no chance to get a guy at home and two runners moved up. He was at third when Ronny Paulino caught strike three on DeRosa and thought it was the end of the inning and ran to the dugout with the ball and Craig just stood there, confused. I’m surprised he didn’t wander off the field into the dugout. He’s a dope.
Freddie Bynum
My sainthood is in peril.
Juan Mateo is what you are.
Happy Yom Kippur, Jose Bautista.
When will we have one of me?
Hopefully Hart isn’t the next me.
I keep getting K confused with BB.
If Monroe is 90 feet away from home and the catcher runs 20 feet, isn’t it a little too close to be taking off for home? Just sayin’.
A run will not be scored in every half inning today.
Actually, let that call go through, I need a fucking drink.
how you do it, bitches
That’s me.
1000 posts today?
Can we beat Yellon today?
I’m a hall of famer, apparently
Don’t call Guinness about the runs every inning. Call them about the 25 pitchers we will use today. Lou loves his expanded roster.
Cesar is out. Now who do we hit it to?
Izzy goes out with an injured elbow? Wow. A Ram has a long Sygmoid.
If the Cubs can score about 25 runs in this inning they might have a shot at winning this game.
injured elbow……….
Hey Ryne, tell your dumbass wife to get off the fucking cell phone.
Just said Pizza Pizza is out with right elbow inflammation.
I’ll mash the ball into the ground
That just brought back memories. Schilling on Philly, Mako Oliveras as the first base coach. Good times.
we’ll answer with a 0 of our own
Hart’s picture.
I hate the baseball
be prepared for 3 more hours of absolutely nothing. a hank white homer with 2 outs will be the game
If it wasn’t for the whole batting thing I’d be the best hitter ever
Soto’s photo
Jason, save me a seat for Kol Nidre.
Somebody ought to tell Murton that he is not a homerun hitter no matter how hard he swings. If it goes it is a matter of luck and physics and not his ability. Base hits, monkey! Now Dance!
We’re only six out of the best record in the NL. Let’s strive towards that.
I use Pert.
I thought I was Freddie’s nickname. Damn, that boy had some teeth! Probably still has them.
Can I have my number back? Please?
Kevin Hart, since you are a Cub pitcher who shows a modicum of talent, we’ll have to talk soon…
The correct answer is Piano Keys
I am simply not funny, no matter how hard I try.
I just got home. What are you guys up to?
Hey, looks like both the Cardiac Cubbies and the Battlin’ Buccos have their hitting shoes on today!
If we lose, and the Cub wins, we’re done!!!
There’s my injury
Don’t remind me that you’ll be handling any potential Cubs post-season games.
I need not your baseball gloves or what not! I do it all with my hand!
How you like that Jim Otto I just up
Satanic Fowl have been done for much longer than that.
Good strike out stuff, questionable command of the zone, bare handing comebackers.. Hart does look like a Cub pitcher.
Nice play Hart…don’t ever fuckin’ do it again.
Hey, Marquis. When you completely implode you are supposed to end it with a flourish. A homer to the pitcher! Damn, boy.
Hi Jason, we’re having some technical problems in your area. We’re gonna need you to turn on your oven then stick your head in for about 10 minutes while we run a diagnostic checks. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Turns out I’m the shit. I wonder why I haven’t gotten as much attention as some of the other stiffs down in Iowa.
Len and Bob are dressed like me (us?)
Who used Hart attack?
Stopper? Can that be my nickname? Please, huh guys, huh, wouldn’t that be cool? huh? OOOOOOO
I had to make sure I was done before sundown. It was at 1:30 today, right?
You would so. I’m telling Chris Hansen.
Who’s up for birthday cake?
I just inhaled a half an eight ball through an empty toilet paper roll.
Nice at bat Pie.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
How did Pie look on the strikeout? Good?
We better move in, the bat boy is hitting!
What the fuck, Lou? You’re pinch-hitting for me?
Damn, Sam Fuld is small.
I may piss myself I’m so excited.
its amazing that this is my first plate appearance. my 21 appearances as a runner and fielder without a PA might be a record
Looked good. Tasted better.
Ironically, Adam Greenberg’s first AB was much more useful.
And there will probably be 21 more.
Whew. All the Jews are done early.
I’ll try to keep it under 5 runs today. Maybe 4.41 runs. Hence my ERA.
The last two innings have been boring. Let’s pick it up a bit!
I bet Lou played with matches when he was a kid.
Who’s a bigger pain in the ass– Nyjer Morgan or Norris Hopper?
Discuss.
We better win tonight.
what’s the record for posts in a game?
Who’s the asshole who had to write in and ask “What happens if the Cubs and Brewers tie?” You know what happens? Dumbasses like you have to come down to Wrigley and get tasered. Happy?
Yes, what’s the record? I’m sure you track it in a spreadsheet.
What’s the VORP of this site, anyway?
I love watching my brother play baseball.
Among other things.
Probably the same moran who strapped a fake bomb and went to Logan Airport.
Here it comes bitches.
I’m dying … I’m dying.
Derrek looked lonely. I walked Sanchez so he’d have somebody to talk to. You know what? There’s a guy standing on Sheffield who looks bored, maybe I can give him something to catch?
Did someone say tasered?
What happens? I get to start on Monday, October 1st!
Matt Clement ain’t got nothing on me.
Holy shit, I didn’t give up a run
We hate Scott Eyre, but if you’re ripping on him for his recent poor performances, you either have an agenda or you’re not paying attention. He’s actually been pretty good since the ASG.
Scott Eyre for whatever reason has found me in the second half of the season.
The Bottom of this Inning will be the 3rd greatest bottom of the inning against Pittsburgh, falling just short of these great bottom halves of innings that ended thusly:
1. Gabby Hartnett vs. Mace Brown
2. Joe Orsulak vs. Rick Sutcliffe
After the first half I had, I deserve what I get.
Did I tell you how I hate my step-Grandson?
I believe my luck runs out this inning.
Alf loves us.
Let me begin!
The game where Dempster shit himself against the Dodgers, I believe the last game of the four, the day game had over 500. 530ish? I think that’s the most this year. I may be wrong. I usually am. Andy?
Thanks for stopping by Mrs. Eyre.
Great to have Dutchie in the booth. Dutchie, who are you fucking these days?
I’m so glad someone mentioned my historically irrelevant ass.
I’d bang her
That wasn’t Mrs. Eyre. Boston Market doesn’t have WiFi.
Have ya ever noticed how Joe Rogan and Mark DeRosa are never in the same room at the same time?
I’m so fucking due
How’d you get your nickname, Dutchie? Is that because guys like to stick their fingers in your holes?
nahh
I’m in Freddy’s pants playing second.
Take that however you want.
I’m going to take Santo’s place on the radio today and moan and groan when the Cubs screw up.
Matt Kata is the Pirates shortstop, not to be confused with Gymkata, a truly horrific movie with gymnast Kurt Thomas.
According to Gameday, Ramirez’ homer landed somewhere near Wilson Avenue.
I suck major donkey dick.
I better start hustling on infield pop ups or else the fans are going to get on me.
I’m teh balls.
Como esta, bitches?
has been killed by Pancakes
NO COMMENTS? FUCKING STUPID DESIPIO BOARDS
I just beat out an infield hit.
I looked up and saw the end of Soto’s swing and thought it was a replay of E-ramis’ homer. Sweet.
fuck you, kendall
Damn! I’m not even the best Soto to ever play the game anymore!
I musta been hauling to beat out an IF single.
Cannot handle the sheer volume of Cubs Live! post today
YEAH!
Fuck Kendall and his chainsaw. I own this fucking job.
Geovanny Fucking Soto
Apologize to Hank White immediately!
Take THAT, stupid ground!
Looks like Jim Tracy just quit.
It’s all me from here on out.
Man is this kid something or what???
Nostrafuckingdamus
I also have a nice set of steak knives.
So is it too late for me to join the NL MVP debate?
Well played, motherfucker
If Theriot can get on, I’m about make a rare and treasured appearance!
Bastard.
Still lookin’ good second time around
YERRRR FAAAAAAARRRRREEDDDDD!!!!!
We’ll have to come up with something different for your parting gift then.
Thanks for stopping by Dutchie. By the way, do you go ass-to-mouth?
Jock is my hitting instructor.
I can make it around the basepaths in less than twelve parsecs.
My name is Spanish for “Jody Davis”
I love Rammy to itty bitty little pieces. He’s now second on my all-time list
Hawk
Rammy
Woody
Ryno
Z
Sut
this game is over.
I’ve got nine outs in me today. Bob and Ryan can go take a nap.
468… please take that back immediately, this is one of those games
Try and hit my slider. I dare you.
Hawk…uh..hmm.
Last night on Baseball Tonight, I discussed the Mets, Phillies, D-Backs, and Padres. I stayed far the fuck away from the NL Central teams, lest I be reminded of my fraudulence being exposed as cubs manager there. I did, however, dance close to the edge when I mentioned Prince Fielder, along with Matt Holliday and David Wright, as MVP candidates.
Aramis who?
GameDay says my 6th pitch was right down the middle, but still a ball?
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
I’m a showboating dick. You came here to see me, right?
D Lee has a couple of me, right?
Um, excuse me McClelland, but could you actually tell the rest of us who aren’t within three feet of home plate if the pitch is a fukking strike or a ball?
Do you think Harry would mind if I borrowed his glasses?
…this week for Derrek.
Sam Fuld: R2-D2
the Marmot
Am, I six hundred years old?
You’re filthy.
I feel a Cubs roster comparison is coming…
Fear not, bitches.
is freaking out. Marmol just struck out Paulino like 5 times
Moises Alou?
anyone?
anyone?
Even Gamecast can’t deal with Marmol’s nastiness.
I liked the idea of the Cubs playing a recording of Harry signing the stretch. I didn’t know they were gonna have Dutchie screeching over it.
After further review, Jay Blunk still sucks.
#486
That actually happened. Marmot through one of those Bugs Bunny pitches that Paulino swung at 15 times.
Why do I have the sense that Sunday’s game will look a lot like this one?
This will make a nice companion piece to next year’s tome, “100 years of Sucking” –
http://www.amazon.com/Cubs-Complete-Story-Chicago-Baseball/dp/0618595007/ref=pd_bbs_7/103-5704979-1443031?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190324639&sr=8-7
Bly me! That’ll wasrrbbll fulckuling terrrbilble.
We interrupt these commercials to bring you the seventh inning, already in progress.
The Cubs were me this time last year.
Billy Williams?
um threw not through
Is Dutchie mocking me with those glasses? You could burn an ant colony with those puppies.
Wasn’t I the center square once?
Racist.
Ron Cey
That makes sense – the bottom of the 6th was “Wham! a Homer! Wham! Anudda homer!”
Dutchie’s first pitch was better than about 40 of Jason Marquis’ today.
Me or Santo in the booth?
Lando Cal-Ripken?
Jim Jay Bullington had me once.
I’m babbling like no other.
Fontenot?
And another souvenir for a lucky fan sitting behind first base!
You could put Ronnie and Dutchie in one of me…only one can come out.
Eyre – you know it’s true
Hello!
Booooooo! I haunt the Pirates. Boooooooo!
Did the Bears just beat the Steelers 4 field goals to 1 touchdown? Cuz, I know I didn’t throw for a td.
Slappity slap slap
There’s never enough of me.
so close.
Missed an eight RBI day by about three feet.
Is the goddamned man. They will not be pitching to him again.
Can I use my prosthetics as whooping sticks?
Can we just run the clock out now?
Almost
cocktease
Yoda I resemble.
Almost had it.
cocktease
Getting locked in at just the right time.
I’m gonna get the W unless the pen fucks this up.
Is from Norway, along with Ron Saanto.
Aramis needed another pancake for breakfast!
Jason Marquis today
Hey, we can still throw the game tonight and help out that loveable Brew Crew! Oh, wait.
Those wooden legs wood not hold up to the focusing of the sun’s rays through these Ginormous glasses. Kinda like the Death Star if it was wearing Harry Caray’s glasses.
So far, on pace.
Ron Santo doing a handstand with only one fake leg attached?
Today, Nyjer Morgan’s teeth blinded a small village in Nigeria.
“How’s Skip doing?”
Dutchie: He ain’t my kid. Who gives a shit?
6 run lead check. Comfortable, nope.
Guys, it’s my time of year, let me lock this thing down for ya. The Gary Posse in da howse.
Best combo of a good looking woman and her job title.
Danielle the Comcast Sports Net “Scorebox operator.”
Jim Hendry
Did I have a stroke? The side of my face looks about as limp as my arm.
Reminiscient of a day at Wrigley almost 10 years ago…
mmmm….scorebox…..mmmmmm…..danielle
That was fucking priceless
Princess Amaddeleiaha whatever
Hope Kerry has enough gas to go two. He’d lead off next inning. He’ll go yard today.
Wood looks good on Gamecast. How does he look in the reality-based world?
why didnt my original princess amedialia post come up.
it probably got hurt.
Feeling a bit better now. Thanks Kerry.
After Marquis’ debacle, I decide which of the Cub relievers gets the win. Why not Wood? Probably Marmol, definitely not Ohman or Eyre, could be Hart.
Izturis hits a triple? Cedeno with an RBI single? Kerry Wood with a 1-2-3 inning??
Is this bizarro world?
I SHOULD GO YARD!!!
Remember me guys?
AB
I’m so 2005-2006
Is warming up. Heaven help us sinners.
Almost beat that out. I was like a gazelle, my mullet flapping beautifully in the breeze.
Looks good enough that shoulder stiffness is probable tomorrow.
Eyre was the pitcher of record when the tie was broken.
Pretty sure it’s Jabba.
Hopefully I can be Darth Vader…
“Now witness the POWER of this Fully Operational Cubs team.”
Why is he warming up when it’s absolutely not necessary?
I may never play this much again. I better make this one count.
Agreed.
My gameday audio exploded. Pat just kept saying Ball 4, and that was it.
Big lead, ninth inning, what could go wrong?
http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20070517&content_id=1970214&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc
I’m a shell of my former self, but I AM helping this team some. Feels good.
Played by Josh Hancock!
I just walked! Somebody get a picture of this!
I’ll kill you before I let you get that far Dempster.
My name makes me sound like a serial killer
Why does it look like he’s bailing out of the batter’s box?
Serial killer? I have no idea what you mean.
I can play Josh Hancock
Buckle up!
Holy Shit! Did I throw a touchdown against the Steelers? Oh…Urlacher with a defensive TD. Figures.
Don’t blow it
Seriously, is Dempster warming up for the 9th?
I always thought it was Kerry Leigh
It’s sad that we even have to think that with a six-run lead.
Fuck off you hosers, I’ve got this.
lets get to me before Griffey does
Seriously guys. 1-2-3 is the most boring combination of numbers in the history of numbers.
Tell me that Howry is warming up.
I’m throwing for the Braves tonight.
FSN Pitt just had an ad for me. Guh…
Women love me.
We just passed me up
Games missed due to Cincinatti being a crappy place to play. I miss the KingDome.
Let’s get two more Dumpster.
Two to go
haha
I absolutely suck.
…likes making games of it. Game on!
That’s one run back.
You gotta be kidding me. Why is Dempster even in there??????
Oh shit, they can’t hit six more of them can they?
Why can’t we play these slapdicks all the time?
I pitch tomorrow
Wouldn’t be funny if we went to the bottom of the ninth like this.
I’m just saying.
Someone keep Lou away from the bat rack. On second thought…
As I wrote that I saw a homer by no name asshole. (okay he has a name, I just can’t spell it) I hate Dempster.
Ouchie. That got out quickly.
We did it yay
Len just told a funny (funny strange, not funny ha ha) about how I was wearing a NY Giants #47 football jersey today because it says DEMPS on the back–for Will Demps.
I’m as shitty a pitcher as he is a defensive back, so that figures.
“He must do his best work against the Cubs.”
Can’t he pretty much say that about any player in baseball?
Please, tell me Howry is warming up.
I pitch tonight
Serenity Now.
Serenity Now.
Serenity Now.
I already said that 608.
Hey, if I give up a few more runs here, you guys will get to 700. Won’t that be neat?
Here I come!
Why can’t Dempster have the “flu” for the rest of the season?
Sure I gave up a home run, but I totally got Ohman to sit on a whoopie cushion earlier! Hilarious!
So far Jose Bautista refuses to let Dempster walk him.
Sorry me
Save me
Look, a single.
Get him out!!!!!
Insanity later!
* dings bell for another computer sale*
I really can fucking run though can’t I?
Thank god for Pie.
with a 5-run lead. I hate being a Cub fan.
My role on the team is comedy relief. Unfortunately the visiting team laughs when they see me too.
Should I go out and get him or just stand on the top step of the dugout and yell, “GET YOUR CANUCK ASS IN HERE!”
Lou,
It’s only a 5 run lead. Pull Dempster now.
Cue it up, my estate needs the royalties!
Think you can get one more out Dumpster??
Relax you mucklucks, this bitch is over.
its the way to go
YES YES
i hope i just broke three fingers
Crank me!
I need some royalties too.
…but Dempster knocked that down with his hand…think he got hurt?!?!
Maybe?!?!?
Pretty Please!?!?
Relax fuckers, it’s the W that counts.
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Goooooo! Hey Chicago whaddaya say? The Cubs are gonna win today!
I can finally leave work and get a beer.
its the way to go
Has to be a 2007 high, if not all time record.
Flap flap flap flappity flap flap flap.
Put up my namesakes number Kermit.
barrett
Who the fuck is Steve Goodwin? Curtis and Tom’s retarded cousin?
In your face Milwaukee!
But the Cards could still tie, oh the Humanity!
why is it playing? how tasteless.
Doesn’t get much better than this
My record’s in danger too.
Methinks some dumbass at Comcast has never actually heard “A Dying Cubs’ Fans Last Request” and thought it would be “neat.”
It even managed to piss off Luke Stuckmeyer.
what a piece of shit request.
Crank me
we owe you, i think.,
What happened on the TV side that was so tasteless?
some dying mans last request song. it was dumb and out of the element.
my interviews are priceless.
I don’t know about tasteless. Just kind of dumb. They played Steve Goodman’s “A Dying Cubs Fans Last Request” over scenes of the fans enjoying the win. Seemed obvious that whoever picked the song, doesn’t know the story behind it or what it actually says. Love the song, but thankfully it doesn’t fit with the current situation.
What’d Lou say?
lou just sounds like he’s on the toilet all the time as he answers questions.
What the hell do you think I’m sitting on? That’s not the interview room, they just painted Cubs.com logos all over the back wall of my office shitter.
break me
Damn right my number is magic, Ogdens
f*ck triple eh
sit back and enjoy this one bitches.
I can’t hear enough of me when i call a big hit/hmerun
got salad?
What a gamecast. Probably the last afternoon workday gamecast of the year. Sad isn’t it? Fuck, that is sad. Shit.
This gamecast could be like Wrigley today. No one wants to leave. Breathe it in boys.
Brewers at Braves in gorgeous High Definition television tonight. Sit down, light one, drink one, repeat. Go Braves.
I am embarassed that you guys got to 662 without a contribution from me. I think that if we hit 666 the BEAST will show up. I think it will be Alfonseca.
You called?
Marcia and Jan eat some carpet? How did I miss this episode?
no, no one called for you, asshole
You are the six-hundred-sixty-sixths comment of a gamecast.
wOOt
thank you, that was implied.
I just homered. 1-0 Bravos in the 2nd.
You mean “implicit,” as “implied” means that someone actively did so; there only was the post. If you mean 667, that was “explicit.”
Thanks 665! I was in the middle of a nice Cubs Win afterglow when you reminded me that there would be no more Friday Slow-Ass-Afternoon-at-Work Cubs live. Thanks for farting on my rose douchebag. By the way, we all know it is Goodman. We say Goodwin because it was a Good Win. What are you new to the Cubbies. Also, Fuck that dying Cubs fan. The rest of us will live to see another day and another Championship. I believe 98 is the magic number.
By saying “Cubbies” you’ve joined me in the douchebag category. I just farted again.
I believe you’re calling out 672
G-ManG is a douchebag, if he wants to say “Fuck that dying Cubs fan.” That’s only Steve Goodman, who died 23 years ago, just two or three days before the Cubs clinched the NL East. What, are you new to the Cubs?
Wow, the magic number goes down by 2 today!
Have an extra drink tonight.
Ogdens
Sit and be amazed as I suck your soul away from you.
Did anybody get me?
Hilarious and amazing place to be today for the last home game of the regular season.
I don’t get it.
I was referring to the song retard, not the guy who wrote it.