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Pitching matchups:
Game One:
Cubs: Mark Prior, 5-4, 4.87 ERA
Fla: Carl Pavano, 17-6, 2.98 ERA
Game Two:
Cubs: Matt Clement, 9-12, 3.48 ERA
Fla: David Weathers, 6-7, 4.61 ERA
Game One lineups:
Cubs:
Corey Patterson, cf
Neifi Perez, ss
Moises Alou, lf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Todd Walker, 2b
Ben Grieve, rf
Jose Macias, 3b
Gabor Bako, c
Mark Prior, p
Marlins:
Juan Pierre, cf
Luis Castillo, 2b
Paul LoDuca, c
Miguel Cabrera, lf
Mike Lowell, 3b
Jeff Conine, 1b
Juan Encarnacion, rf
Alex Gonzalez, ss
Carl Pavano, p

We’ll take care of game one!
The three starters who are sitting out the first game went 0-8 against Pavano on the 10th of September.
Ramirez 0-1, 1 LOB
Sosa 0-4, 2 K, 2 LOB
Barrett 0-3, 2 LOB
I think the Cubs’ll survive.
I have 5 hits against Pavano including a home run
Finally, a game in Florida. Now I can have some time with my made up family.
If Patterson doesn’t see at least 4.5 pitches this at-bat, he needs to be benched.
Fear The Neifi!!
Notes: Cardinal’s Carpenter gets good news
Related news: Cubs fans really dissapointed.
September is Neifi time. This was all part of Dusty’s master plan. I’d stay with the Giants this year and sabotage them for as long as possible, then after I got released, I’d join Dusty in Chicago just in time to lead the drive for the playoffs.
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO!
Todd Walker with a nice two-out hit.
1-0 Cubs.
The Cubs can only score with homeruns.
It’s hero time!
Weird how the Marlins are starting their studs the first game… and the Cubs are starting our duds. See how this works out.
I’m the last thing McKeon wanted to see for Pavlovano.
It’s nice to see the Cubs force a 25 pitch first inning from the other team’s pitcher. Plus, if this game were at Wrigley, everyone would get a free cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee.
Can I make this lead stand up?
We got tired of the ushers handing out bushels of our "Free Coffee" cards so we now require that you produce a ticket stub.
I’m a big slow dumbass. Juan Pierre’s on first, but he won’t be for long.
Maybe some day my retarded ass will learn to better field my position.
Mark, you lollygag around the infield. You lollygag over to first. You lollygag to the batter’s box. Know what that makes you?
I’m going to let Juan Pierre turn my inept fielding into a triple.
Boy, this ump got stingy all of a sudden. I seem to remember being called out looking on a ball low and outside.
Playoffs? Playoffs?…Playoffs? You’re talking about….playoffs?!?!
I just tied the game on a weak hit grounder back to the pitcher! Thanks Mark.
Nope.
Yes, I am the worst outfield in the history of baseball.
I’m due up in the next inning, so we’ll get the lead back for sure!
You mean that I have to wait until NEXT YEAR to DH?!?
I just decided not to move on a flyout, and it landed a foot in front of me.
This is a defensive clinic thus far.
outfielder that is… sorry I was pissing on myself.
Prior is outdueling Pavano
Andy,
how is it a ridiculous hack like myself has a book deal and you don’t?
Damn Pavano beat me by one pitch
Macias-Bako-Prior. Oooh, the excitement!!! I live for this game??
why is my fastball going only 92 miles an hour
Steve seems to be really off right now…
On the 0-2 inside pitch by Prior to Pierre, he referred to Pierre as the "baserunner" while he was still batting.
Plus he has interrupted Chip twice, which he does do from time to time but not twice in one inning.
with starting pitching like this, my money’s on ramon martinez to get the save opportunity in the nightcap.
Anybody else concerned that the Cubs are putting the season squarely on the shoulders of Mark Prior and Matt Clement? I guess the only pitcher you can trust completely is Carlos, but still, the two least trustworthy starters having the biggest games all to themselves is troubling.
Power…and GLORY!
Did THE CUBS just have a perfectly executed hit and run?!?!?!?
Whoa, it’s been a while!
Will I score?
Did I really get a hit?
Wow.
Am I back?
the only way i can get a hit is if you move the infielders out of position
Corey, you didn’t see enough pitches that at-bat…
Oh! So that’s what clutch means!
I needed that after an 0-whatever series against the Reds.
How could anyone doubt that this would happen??
Gameday says:
"…Jose Macias scores. Paul Bako scores."
I like to call out Cubs on pitches well off the plate, and squeeze Prior.
Don’t stop calling me that. Please? This was s’posed to be my year…
Pretty need how that works huh?
Can Prior hold me?
I’ll try to serve up a few more meatballs before Trader Jack wakes up from his noon nap and realizes that this big fork in me is making it tough to pitch.
You silly mortals, getting excited over a lead. A three run lead is as nothing to me. I had one last game. I promptly surrendered a four spot. I’m just bad enough to do it again. Excitement? Save it.
Don’t worry, Hot Karl, I’ll try and make you look good. We were teammates and all…
How is this 4-1 lead going to play to this crowd?
1) "Cubs! Woooo! Where’s the line for playoff tickets?"
2) "Any minute, the Marlins will shell Prior, who sucks."
3) "This is a fun and competitive game, with a long way to go. I am looking forward to seeing the outcome…"
I am hoping for #1, banking on #2, but realistically eyeing #3.
Hey, I remembered to pee on my hands before the game! 98 RBIs, I am The Dude.
It’s okay, Prior, I blew that lead against the almighty Reds lineup…happens to the best of ’em.
Remember me, when I was chock full of the silly things Chip said for the benefit of those stuck at work… Or when gratuitous pictures would show up.
Yeah, that was awesome.
You’re welcome.
Cubs hitters 1st inning: 25 pitches, 1 run
Cubs hitters 2nd inning: 16 pitches, 3 runs
swing early, swing often!
What, you mean being given a 3 run lead doesn’t mean I should start giving up moon shots and 9 pitch walks to the bottom of the order?
Am I too much to ask for?
Remember that scene in Last of the Mohicans when Daniel Day-Lewis yells "I will find you!" right before the Indian gentlemen steal his broad?
Yell that to me, Mark. Yell it and mean it.
I miss you Carl
I am NOT too much to ask for…
Should be benched now.
After a 2out RBI in the first. Fickle fans here.
Re: Prior.
Really, when you think about it, he isn’t pitching that badly right now.
He would have gotten Pierre out if he had been able to field that grounder, and Florida wouldn’t have scored.
The only really hard hit ball was that deep fly to center but that is what you do if you are pitching to the field.
I’m upset with myself because I didn’t run out a ground ball that was bobbled. If I had run it out I would have been safe and the Cubs would have had the bases loaded with no one out.
Not fickle, simply fair. You expected Corey Patterson to get a 2 out hit with men in scoring position, off of Pavano? One had just dominated the Cubs, and the other hadn’t had a hit in a week or two. So of course, he gets double. Natural reaction is "wow."
"Inside corner…that’s where teams have been going to get Corey Patterson on this road trip."
I said that after Corey was called out on a pitch 2 feet inside. Teams have started going 2 feet inside to get Corey Patterson.
I’m calling a pretty lousy game, aren’t I?
Most us are looking not swinging
I keep calling people out on pitches two feet inside. I also called Derrek Lee out on a ball low and outside. I’m not good at my job, but at least Chip Caray is defending me by saying that it’s up to the hitters to adjust to me being awful, and not up to me to do my job properly. Thanks Chip!
My fickle comment was to "bench Walker now" after he had gotten a big hit in the first. I was not aware that he was lollygaggin, as I’m at work.
I love taking the umpire’s side on everything. I can never stick up for the Cub players. I am a kiss ass.
Well, I think Mark got the benefit of a call right there on Cabrera.
I’ll take it though!!!
GO CUBS!
It’s amazing to see what only giving up 1 ER in 3-1/3 innings does for your ERA when it was previously hovering around 5.00! I’ve already dropped it almost 0.20 points in this game!
No, Derrek! You can NOT have my Golden Sombrero.
Much like Jake’s sister, Ben Grieve is a ball magnet!
Ouch.
I hate it when I get cigar ashes in my pudding.
Three hits for Jose?
Who saw this coming? Other than Dusty, of course.
What ever happened to the "Lemon of the Week"?
Macias is on FIYAH!!
Now that we’re up four, I’m just trying to hurry this along. We’ve got a flight to catch! In like six hours.
I’m back!

If I had testicles, that ball would have hit them. Yowsa.
You picked a bad day to mess with me, fishes!
Move over Barrett. Looks like I’ll be Prior’s caddy from this game forward.
Hello, Corey!
Doh!
D*** YOU COREY!!!
Marlins team marketing ideas for Nate Bump.
Photo of Nate in the road.
Photo of Nate on a log.
Is there any doubt they will beat Pavano and then lose to Weathers. That would be such the Cub thing to do…
Does only 0-4 with 4 Ks count for me or does Lee still have to worry?
How much was Corey thrown out by?
"Marlins team marketing ideas for Nate Bump.
Photo of Nate in the road.
Photo of Nate on a log."
Genius!! Dolan want a job?
Did Paul LoDuca actually stomp his foot at home plate in protest? Who is he, Kruschev?
By the way, both ways this strike zone is hellacious. Somewhere, Eric Gregg and Livan Hernandez are laughing.
And Bobby Cox wants to punch a co-habitant.
Gotta go ref a JV football game. Should be done by 6. Hope the Marlins will be, too. Bring me home a sweep, boys.
Nice shot of a security guard sitting behind the on deck circle picking his nose like Spalding Smails.
$10 says he eats it.
Now that the Marlins are done, I am no longer rooting for them. Let’s go Cubbies!! This team is showing so much heart as it has gone along on this 12 game, 11 day roadtrip that it is the biggest story in the world!!
Rat farts!
Rothschild: "Mark what’s up, you tired?"
Prior: "Little bit."
Rothschild: "It’s not the eighth, you don’t have to let them start an eight run rally this time."
Prior: "Smartass."
How about another one of me?
Where is Mark Guthrie when I need him?
Whiff.
We work well too.
Wait, the Marlins are rallying. It’s really amazing what these guys have been through over the last month. The city of Miami deserves this and all fans of sports should get behind the fish.
I actually took my shoe off and banged it on the podium.
You’re supposed to get outs when you let people get on base?
Who knew?!?!?!?!?
I knew I could kill that rally!
I had 50 bucks on the Schmales kid…
"Hey, did you know we have a baseball team?"
"No, what are they, AA?
"No, they’re called the Florida Fish or something and they’re major league."
"Probably crappy AL, huh? That nickname really sucks."
"They’re NL, and I hear they’re pretty good. Let’s buy tickets for the rest of the season and pretend we’re die-hard fans."
"Okay!"
Actually Corey was safe at third. The ump missed the call. It was a good aggressive base running play that didn’t pan out. That will happen sometimes. I still like the aggresiveness.
Memo to Carl Pavano:
Young man there’s no need to feel down
I said young man pick yourself off the ground
I said young man ’cause your in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy
Young man there’s a place you can go
I said young man when you’re short on your dough
You can stay there and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
Yeah, bench me.
I must admit the best part of the game so far, other than the Cubs winning of course, is the absolute rip on Cardinals’ play-by-play announcer Dan McLaughlin by Steve.
That was classic stuff right there by Steve.
B.C., explain?
Now you know what a game and a half is.
Why would you take me out? I can take one for the team for the third time. It would have been better than what Aramis did.
I believe Stone read his stuff about Carpenter and then said, "Sounds like somebody’s got too much time on his hands. See you in the playoffs…pal-ee."
I swear there’s a tunnel to that outside corner today. I just drop the ball and it zips across the corner at 94. Hey, this pitching stuff is easy!
Looks as if I need to throw a 100 plus pitches be for I get warmed up?
Remember beating this drum last week?
Hello? Is this thing on?
[crickets]
Tonight we’re going to refer to Prior’s game today as "a vintage Prior outing."
Hey dude, let’s say that Clement beats Dave Weathers in the nightcap, dude. And I’m the one who juggled my rotation so the following things could happen
a) Woody pitches in Cincinnati where he owns the Reds (win)
b) Rusch gets the start in the finale of the Reds series because their best hitters are lefties (win)
c) I match Prior up against Pavano and after seven it’s 5-1 Cubs.
d) Clement wins
That sounds to me like a manager who made four pretty good decisions.
Dude.
Could someone explain all the Karen Carpenter talk? I only have Sportsline to look at here…
Yeah, where are all those guys who were ready to trade Prior last time out? Probably back on the Yankees bandwagon after last weekend.
Can we hit and run with nobody on? It’s the only way I get any hits?
Other than my monster jack against the Brewers. You know, in retrospect that was the win that turned this season around. I’m a hero! You owe it all to me!
Hey, we were both right! The Cubs will see Pavano, Bump and Weathers today!
Andy’s right, although he’s excluding the best part of that whole moment…
Steve said this about McLaughlin:
"He probably will be watching… Because we know he doesn’t have a life."
Zing……….
See grounder to the hole at short. Hit and run, I’m on first.
Damnit, Dusty!
I love pitching against the Marlins
I own you, Cubs! Two up! Two down! You’re lucky I’m not pitching game two!
Did I really just hit for myself?
I’m going to show all you assclowns out there… I’m going to put Tightpants in to close out the bottom of the ninth just to give you all heart attacks!
If I’m Dusty, I take Prior out with one out in the eighth. Just because.
Isn’t Mercker coming in for me?
I own you Cubs! Four up! Two down! You’re just lucky I’m not around to pitch game two!
I’d let him get two outs. All the SP implosions have come with 2 down, so he can get that 2nd out and still be safe.
Am I reverting back to old form just in the nick of time?
Or am I the proverbial blind squirrel?
Hello, Cubs fans!!
That’s right, I’m just doing this to fuck with you all.
We said hello (and goodbye) to the 8th last Monday at Wrigley.
Ah, crap.
Prior left in too long, Florida apparently dead in the water, sure-handed fielder makes an error, and on and on and on
We’re all very nervous. That’s two bobbles in the inning.
First batter: Derrek Lee
Second batter: Todd Walker
Who’s next?
I already have my error, Bill… so will it be Ramirez?
Get the second out without giving up a run, and things are a lot better. If it starts raining (hits) right about now, well, curses, and so forth.
No ballpark can hold Gabor. Nice effort trying to bang through the wall to get the foul ball.
Hey, I never said he didn’t try hard.
I’ve been shot!!!!!!! or something.
How’s them for reflexes?
Two out.
Boy, these scrappy fish sure have won over the hearts of this nation with their hardluck story and their lovable manager. Go Marlins!
Do I bother anyone?
Mark Prior just decided he had enough of this 8th inning crap…
Great play to get Castillo at 2nd base…
Prior being taken out…
Dare I say that he was Franchise-esque?
Mark Prior…128 pitches. Leaves with a 5-1 lead and makes a tremendous defensive play on his last pitch.
[stands and applauds]
Just an awesome performance by Prior. Makes all you naysayers and hand-wringers kinda feels stoopid, doesn’t it?
We’ll all scooch over to make way for your fat a$$es on the bandwagon. Again.
Mark Prior, pushing the limit of human endorance, went 8 strong innings pitching 130 pitches. It is times like these when you see the truth about someon. We have seen the true Mark Prior.
… one of the unarmed security guards in the Illinois State Capitol was shot, anyway…
Oh, and we also don’t have metal detectors at the state Capitol.
Comfy with me in there?
I didn’t think so.
Um, I thought people were mad at us for only hitting homeruns. If you want 5 runs on 5 hits, or 10 runs on 15 hits, that’s going to take homeruns, and lots of them. We do that and people are bitching. We play small ball and people are bitching. Shouldn’t you be happy that a lineup with Neifi Perez, Paul Bako, Jose Macias, and a pitcher in it got 15 hits and 5 runs? Be thrilled, people.
I still pitch for the Marlins.
… one of the unarmed security guards in the Illinois State Capitol was shot, anyway…
Oh, and we also don’t have metal detectors at the state Capitol.
#163: In case you didn’t read today’s column, you should be looking for Dumpster to take "Girly-Man" Clement’s spot next year.
No, because he’s had good starts before, and gotten crushed the next game. It’s happened like this all year. If he puts a couple starts together, I’ll feel "stupid."
Lookit me, I’m a setup man!
All you Desipio ledge-dwellers who were riding me in the first inning today can just kiss my million-dollar ass.
This good performance makes up for a season of horrible pitching, clearly.
Uh…Mark… I believe that’s MULTI-million dollar ass.
Visibility must be pretty poor today for Derrek Lee.
… I hope D Lee’s got it out of his system now…
#171 – a season of horrible pitching?!? Look, I hurt myself carrying this team to the playoffs last year, and would have gotten us into the World Series had the defense not broken down. So I’m still hurting this year, but I’m trying to be a gamer, and I have not pitched my best, but have won some key games. So in conclusion, #171, you f#ck face, why don’t you get off my back?
I’ve always hated this place.
And unless this game goes into extra innings (which it won’t unless they put The Farns in), today’s win adds a notch to the "Wins without a Homerun" column. Which we all know is the second most important split, besides one run games, of course.
Uh, why was our 3rd baseman with an injured groin attempting to stretch a single to a double in a 9th inning of a game we’re leading by 4 runs?
168, I’m aiming for the people who were bleating that Prior was washed up and no longer worthy of a starting spot (bringing up all the "Prior to the ‘pen in the playoffs" talk). Seems you are falling in the same category of expecting Prior to pitch 8 inning shutouts every time. That’s not going to happen. 2003’s Prior is stuck in last year and won’t ever appear in any other year–ever. 2004’s Prior is a hit-and-miss pitcher, still recovering, and gutting out a busted season.
Explaining it all to wavering Cub loyalists is stoopid. It’s like explaining a joke–pointless after the fact.
Blah blah blah. If he’s hurt, he shouldn’t pitch. He’s hurt THE TEAM this year by going out there in a funk and being unable to pitch effectively or even hold a big lead, most games. You want to talk about him being a gamer, or whatever, that’s great. His ERA is 4 and a half.
I’m a gamer too, guys! Do you want me back on your staff?
I doubted Dusty’s bizzaro lineup earlier today and I was forced to eat my words by the uncharacteristic production the Lemon’s put out today. However, I must ask… Why LaTroy in the 9th in a non-save situation?
I’m sure Dusty doesn’t want to pitch to me… better bring in Guthrie…
NOT LENNY HARRIS!
I luuuuvvvveee Lenny Harris
I’ve defended Prior on here when people act like he’s a "bust" which is ridiculous, or that he shouldn’t be considered a franchise pitcher anymore, et cetera. But how can you stick up for his performance this season? Whether he’s been hurt or not (I’m of the opinion that he’s been a little hurt, but almost completely out of his groove due to no spring training), he’s been miserable out there. Being a gamer does not make you a good pitcher, nor does it mean you haven’t been hurting the team. I like the guy and I think he’ll back on track if he gets a regular spring training next season, but this year? How can you trust this guy? He throws a game like this then gets hammered by mediocre lineups the next time out.
You can’t sweep a doubleheader if you don’t win the first game!
I just shut down a rival Wild Card contender in their home ballpark and won the biggest game of the season to date for the Cubs, and yet I’ve still got an assfez like #180 riding me.
Amazing.
Cubs Win
Second game is HUGE. If we can’t hit Weathers, something is wrong with us.
We handled our part of the deal. Now it’s up to Sahm, ARam, Barrett & the boys in Game Two.
We handled our part of the deal. Now it’s up to Sahm, ARam, Barrett & the boys in Game Two.
180, Great logic! If you’re hurt, don’t play, because all you do is hurt the team. So, Ramirez and Nomar should have been sitting the last two months, right? I mean, they are just hurting the team with their respective injuries, no?
We handled our part of the deal. Now it’s up to Sahm, ARam, Barrett & the boys in Game Two.
The alternative would be to pitch Sergio Mitre and his 6.89 ERA. To help you out with the math, that’s WORSE than Prior’s.
"180, Great logic! If you’re hurt, don’t play, because all you do is hurt the team. So, Ramirez and Nomar should have been sitting the last two months, right? I mean, they are just hurting the team with their respective injuries, no?"
Wow, what a dumbass. Look at the numbers each of them puts up when they play hurt, brainiac. Ramirez and Nomar, a little hurt, can still hit enough to justify playing. Prior, meanwhile, has an ERA of 4 and a half.
I mean did you even have a point there? Did you think about it even a little before you argued it?
Actually, selective memory/Mark Prior fan club, I’d be the regular alternative.
Does anyone know if Prick Pavano left Bartman tickets for the game today? Shove that one up your ass Carl.
JH, don’t worry about it, these are the same people who were complaining earlier in the season that Prior was a puss for not getting out on the mound earlier.
Listen. You don’t get a fruit cup for being the guy to say "Prior’s washed up." Unlike network poltical coverage, there isn’t a reward or bragging rights for being the one to "call" Prior’s season a disaster.
Fact is, dude just went out there today and shut down the Marlins in the one game today we didn’t think the Cubs would win.
Also, given the staff the Cubs currently trot out there, 6-4, 4.50 ain’t too bad at the back of the rotation.
We all know what Mattix’s dad is capable of, so that’s why in bizarro Cubs world, we are scared to death of David Weathers — he may channel Scott Downs or Paul Wilson for cripes sake. Then again, Clement might strike out 13 and win easily. Who knows?
I say we enjoy all this. It’s a fun ride, with more gray hair and gnawed fingernails than anyone should ever be subjected to.
In the words of Sarah Wood:
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Michael McDonald is on the Cubs’ payroll?
Glendon…really? That’d be pretty impressive considering you pitched yesterday. Of course, I’m sure you’d be willing to go out again on 0 days rest, but that might hurt the team.
Hey guys. Help me come up with a pun considering that the next game will be Weathers vs. Clement. Sometimes things just fall in your lap, huh?
Prior’s struggles this year are completely irrelevant in terms of the task at hand. When you take the mound on a given day, the ERA, W-L record, etc., doesn’t matter. It doesn’t affect how you’re going to pitch that particular day, because none of that stuff counts on the scoreboard.
As someone said above, this was the biggest game of the year to date, in the stadium of a rival playoff contender against their ace. Prior’s line? 7.2 IP, 5 hits, 1 run, 1 walk, 9 K’s. And a huge win.
How about a little perspective, people? And is it that hard to tip your cap to Prior? Or is this the "I refuse to back down even to applaud a player from my team" club?
What’s the median ERA in baseball right now? 4.50? If so, that would make Prior the Cubs fifth starter right now, and better than anybody else’s fifth starter. Hurt or not, he gives you a chance every time out.
Based on the logic of 180 and 186 he wouldn’t have pitched today. I’m certainly glad that he did.
196, gee, I dunno, I guess I was just pointing out the sentence in your post that said "If he’s hurt, he shouldn’t pitch." Did I miss something? Swap in Ramirez and suddenly it’s OK to play hurt. Oh, I see, if you produce, you can play hurt. Yeah, 6 wins and 9 Ks per 9 innings is terrible production.
Never did I say he’s mowing them down each outing. Concoct your own fantasy arguments all you want, but don’t pin me with not rationalizing my post, as you imply. You seem to quote me well; take a look at your post in #180.
Please do one more button.
Why is Chip looking at me while he asks Jim the questions? Creepy.
Lord, how I got fed up with having to dress that man.
Have I ever been introduced to Jim Hendry?
As long as I keep making good deals, who cares what I look like?
-Ramirez
-Garciaparra
-Rusch
-Perez
I was bring Jim a comb but I dropped it through the train tracks into the Des Plaines.
Don’t forget about me, Jim…
We didn’t score in the first off of Dave Weathers! We suck! Prior got lucky! We should have started the Lemons again! Ack!
Game 2 underway… lineups:
Cubs
Patterson CF
Perez SS
Ramirez 3B
Alou LF
Lee 1B
Sosa RF
Grudzielanek 2B
Barrett C
Clement P
Marlins
Pierre CF
Castillo 2B
Cabrera LF
Conine 1B
Easley RF
Lowell 3B
Gonzalez SS
Redmond C
Weathers P
I’ve got my ‘good’ stuff today…
Those leadoff walks are great.
Yea, you ledge dwellers! Support me, and have faith in me, even though I haven’t shown heart at any point in my career, and just walked Juan Pierre to lead off the game.
This win’s automatic, remember?
I can’t throw a strike, but so what?
Owww. My neck hurtsss.
It’s hot out there, Larry, and I think one of the fans booed me. Get Leicester up.
Thanks Matt, I’ve always wanted a baseball.
So have I…
Thanks Matt, I’ve always wanted a baseball.
Uh, I’m in a contract year…
I have absolutely no sack.
I will hand your season to the Astros and/or Giants, and not even care. I have no heart and marginal talent.
And I bitch about not getting run support
Whatever, ledge dwellers! Support me, dammit! I’m tossing a one-hitter.
DARREN %(&*^%@& EASLEY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??
Of why I hate Matt Clement.
Hi, I’m Matt Clement!! Ow, I think my groin is falling off. My neck hurts. I have asthma.
Get this worthless POS off the Cubs, what a freaking baby. F-you sackless wonder.
I can’t even get his name right… DAMION EASLEY!@!@!@#$#!@&%@&*%%!~?!?!?!??!
You wouldn’t score in Clement’s games, either.
Damien Easley?!? I thought he was dead…
Only Matt Clement would lose the biggest game of the season…to me.
…
You’d think we could score more than 3 runs off David Weathers, though. And if we do? Clement will just give ’em right back.
I demand respect! I’m Paul Bako, bitch!
Maybe it would be better if we took some pitches
….and now David Weathers, what a remarkable story, goes for the no-hitter against the Cubs with 2 out in the ninth….
Someone please kill me and put me out of my misery. David F. Weathers??
This Cubs team sucks, plain and simple. Shutout here we come.
If you’d started a corpse out there, we’d have hit Weathers hard in support of him. But no, we sent something less than a corpse to the mound. Weathers will probably no-hit us, until the bullpen comes in, also to no-hit us.
Relax, folks. It’s only the second freaking inning!
How will the panic-stricken make it through the first batter of the first inning of the NLDS if the Cubs make it that far?
No need for walks, they just clog up the basepaths.
Sorry, didnt realize we had to wait till Matt Clement was out of the game and the Cubs were down 7 before complaining.
You doubters are a fucking disgrace.
Clement has pitched his ass off for us in this of the season.
You tell them, TJ! Just because I walked the eighth place hitter and then almost walked the pitcher after already having given up a 3 run jack to Damian Easley, thrown a wild pitch, and hit a guy, there is nothing to worry about.
Very true about the first 3 months of the season, but he’s been a sackless wonder the last 2.
Yep, knee-jerk reactions have always proven to be time-honored best way to do things.
Makes people look real sane, too.
Damn! I fouled that one off my ivory!
Are you joking?
Oh no, TJ Brown just called us INSANE.
"A trio of runs".
Like B.C., I’m still an assclown.
Less of me would be nice.
TJ is right, Cub fans. Wait till I’ve beaten your team before you complain.
Greg Maddux blew for a good part of 3 months, now he’s the only pitcher people here want on the hill.
Clement hasn’t been hurt in his Cub career and has pitched damn well. Let him fight through it.
2-run lead, bitches.
Bah.
Take that Bako.
Cubs no le gusta Matt Clement? We’ll take heem!
The second time through the lineup should be fun!
The difference is that Maddux sucked the first couple months, while Clement has sucked the last couple months. It’s a huge difference.
Besides, Greg is a smart player and very professional, while Clement fakes injuries and is out there in the first inning looking to see if the bullpen is up.
Ever notice how I always break up the no hitter?
When Weathers was a Cub I referred to him as Dumpy Weathers.
Yeah, it’s a huge difference, but can’t we allow for the fact he could shut down the Marlins for the rest of the game? People gave up on Prior just to have him dominate the world series champs.
I want what you want, a Cub win. I’m willing to back Matt now based on his Cub career.
Wow, walking a guy every inning is great isn’t it?
Listen, ledge dwellers. Just because I keep walking the leadoff men with pitches that are two feet off the plate, that’s NO REASON to bash me. I’m never hurt. I’m a tough guy. I’ve got baseball smarts.
Mat did you forget your contacts? I’m over here buddy
Clement’s been doing this kind of crap for awhile now, walking guys like Pierre and Castillo and then moping around the mound like a Susan.
Ever feel that maybe Clement is legitimately hurt, but is playing through the pain either:
a) a la Prior 2003, he feels a responsibility to make all his starts and get the Cubs in the playoffs.
b) he smells the dough with a free agency winter.
Keep defending me! I’m throwing batting practice in the biggest game of the season, and I need your moral support.
Get Mitre up in the pen… or Leicester?
Who knew?
I don’t get how we never score for this guy. I mean, his performances are so INSPIRING.
How is this not? You win this, you win the wild card. You lose this, there’s still a race, and a tough one.
Damnit Matt, you’re not making this easy on me.
Don’t forget that the matchup was me vs. Matt Clement. If you can’t beat me, how the hell are you going to make the playoffs?
I suck. I pitched great until about mid-August, then I started sucking. And I haven’t stopped.
Thanks for the support, Disgraceful. You inspired me to just go out there and pitch my game, like I always do. And thanks to you, I get to watch TV in the clubhouse for a couple hours, which is a godsend. Baseball is so boring.
Look at this asshole and disgrace to baseball and the Chicago Cubs and all that’s good. Against the Reds last year in the final week of the season as the Cubs were chasing Houston, he put up these numbers:
IP H R ER BB SO
5 7 5 5 5 5
I hope someone shoots him, or at least breaks his arm so he never pitches today.
Oh yeah, that’s Carlos Zambrano!
He was a pussy for a day last year, (of course you could look at his Game 1 NLCS performance and brand him a loser for life) losing a game to Todd fucking VanPoppel, whose just like Weathers, only worse. Good thing a man like Shawn Estes bailed the Cubs out the next day!
Let’s all get a lynch mob together and kill Zambrano! Right?
that this is an absolutey huge game. We win, we’re in first, the Marlins are dead. We lose, we’re down a half and tied with the Astros. We lose and no more of being ahead in the loss column either.
Put me in the game!!! I will kill David Weathers.
We need to start scoring some runs. Also, as a bonus, we could stand to injure Clement with a hard hit foul ball into the dugout.
#280: Plus it means a loss to ME. I mean, come on.
I must keel T.J. Brown!
But he’s right. I blew against Cincy last September. Here’s the box score.
http://retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B09250CIN2003.htm
Yes, I lost to Van Poppel.
Hey guys, I apparently think it’s 2003. Somebody buy me a calendar.
Maybe I will get to pitch in the "biggest game of the season" too!
6 pitches 2 outs Matt, see it’s really easy
Here are my last six starts before today.
OPP W L SV IP H ER BB SO
SD 0 0 0 5.0 3 0 5 3
MIL 0 0 0 7.0 5 3 1 13
MIL 1 0 0 6.0 7 4 3 8
HOU 0 1 0 4.1 7 4 3 3
MON 0 0 0 2.2 3 2 2 4
PIT 0 0 0 6.0 5 2 4 4
15 ER in 31 IP. Not god-awful, not good either, but what gets you mad about me is more the way I look like such a puss out on the mound.
We really need to wake up here.
No. I know it’s 2004. I just won’t trust Zambrano anymore because he botched a big game for the Cubs last year. All he had to do was beat Todd Van Poppell. He failed. He blew a big lead to the Marlins in Game 1. Hell, if he held the lead, Steve Bartman would be bitching about not getting to use those Game 6 tickets.
But using some people’s logic here, Zambrano has no sack. Right?
I hope I don’t hit into a DP.
Neifi! Stop clogging up the bases!
I have no point. Everything I am trying to make a point with is from last season.
How in the world did Ramirez get an infield single? Is his groin intact?
Iceman- of course it’s easy. To the great ones.
Like Neifi.
Look how many wins I have in those stats up there! The team really plays hard for me out there, don’t they? I wonder why I don’t inspire them?
I’m just saying Hendry should have given Zambrano his unconditional release, or maybe dealt him for a player WITH sack, like Andy Pratt.
We need to click. This could go either way.
I didn’t realize that along with pitching the game, the starting pitcher is now responsible for firing the team up. Maybe Clement should host a pep rally before his next outing.
It’s the pitcher’s job to inspire the team. Not the manager’s or the player’s themselves.
We all look sedated.
Well, really, that’s why I’m playing like crap this year. Guys like Tapani, Trachsel, Mark Clark, Jason Bere and Jon Lieber get me more fired up to hit than Clement, Prior, Wood and Zambrano.
Eh, we’ll see you in Pittsburgh.
And you say it’s not the pitcher’s job to inspire us? That’s all well and good, but we don’t hit when he plays, and we look absolutely listless in his games. But I’m sure it’s just a big coincidence.
Cy Weathers?
I don’t get it. He’s not been good at all. He does act like a puss out there. What’s to defend?
I like to run my bad sarcasm into the ground.
Also, in doing so, I like to compare a 22 year old’s performance at the end of a season in which he pitched over a hundred more innings than he’d ever pitched before to the late-season performance of a twenty nine year old pitcher.
Because, you know, I’m brilliant.
See, this is why Dusty used us big bats in the game against Pavano. These guys can’t even hit a crappy reliever!
We’d take hours in between pitches, and we’d call Jody Davis to the mound to tell us how bad our backs/rotator cuffs/hamstrings felt, and then the Cubs would come out and hit for us.
Of course, we told Leon Durham he could snort the foul lines if he had 2 RBI.
It’s not just for serial killers, anymore!
2 TJ Browns?!? I’m seeing double!
Not defending his 2nd half- defending him. Merely supporting a guy who has given it all until recently. Is it possible he really IS hurting?
But Christ, part of the fun here is to bitch about a guy who goes out there and looks back to see if the bullpen’s warming up.
Agreed. It’s over. Let’s get on the offense.
1) Yes, now that you do mention it, I DO like running my bad sarcasm into the ground.
2) Zambrano’s never pitched winter ball, fall instructional league or any other kind of ball before.
3) Want to compare Clement to other pitchers? How about the Clement of last year? He struggled in the second half, yet came up big in the clincher with Pittsburgh, and big in the NLCS.
4) How many turns has Clement missed this year? One? Had he been chronically unavailable, you wouldn’t have the luxury of juggling the rotation as Baker did this week.
5) This is hardly a must-win game for the Cubs.
6) Relax!
It’s hard to win games when your pitcher puts you in a 3 run hole, and gives back runs.
My zone sucks today. I called Alou out on that exact pitch that I just called ball four to Castillo.
Tomorrow’s game on WCIU??? WTF is that shit? It’s a fucking pennant race.
Can we break through against Cy Weathers?
We do have Svengoolie…
And Texas Justice and Divorce Court Weekday mornings!
Oh god.
What?
I think I’ll bring Ed Whitson in to pitch the seventh. Cheer up, Cub fans!
Hey, at least I have balls. Just ask whats her name from the hotel last night.
I was warming up in the pen.
Boy you really have to admire the resourcefulness of this spunky Fish club as it comes back behind the ageless David Weathers. This team has once again warmed the hearts of a nation.
Sorry Scout, but tomorrow we’ll be showing the Gilmour Girls!
We have left the building. If we can’t score runs (plural) off David Weathers then we have no business in the postseason.
Hey, I know few of you watched me as the Bears were holding on against the Pack, but wasn’t I cool?
I am on standby, Cubs fans.
Please tell me that Billy Koch is coming into the game.
Um, I should pitch over the Farns for god’s sake.
Looking good.
I solved the mystery of Damion Easley!
Shut Sergio! You can pitch when you’re older.
I took care of that inning!
Take that naysayers!
Dusty, I am Mexican, so that makes me Hispanic, who handle the heat almost as well as blacks.
Farns is white.
WTF? Jeff Conine caught stealing?
Hey, Farns, can you hit a grand slam, too? Cuz then we’d like you.
Oh thank god David Weathers is out of the game!
A little bloop double, eh?
From today’s Dose:
The Cubs are in Miami for that ill-fated doubleheader today. The erratic Franchise is on the mound for game one and "I’m a pitcher, get me out of here" Matt Clement is getting the call for game two. A lot will be said that today is the key day in the wild card race. If the Cubs win both games they are in first place. If they lose both they drop to third. So I expect to see a long thread of panicked posts if the latter should happen.
Here’s what you need to know. For good or bad, most doubleheaders are split. A split is acceptable today. But just like you won’t have all that much confidence even if the Cubs sweep, try and stay off the ledge if they get swept. I’m just saying, there’s a lot of baseball left these last two weeks. Try and keep it in perspective.
But tell me that you didn’t think the Cubs would lose the first and win the second. Having won the first, the Cubs could have really taken command. A loss here, while not a disaster, is a huge missed opportunity. And there’s not a lot of baseball left. Sorry.
… the ‘True’ guy, that is. Just like Saturday night’s game, a missed opportunity.
Is Chip cheering for the Marlins? You don’t tell everyone that Perez may have missed third…some Marlin could be watching WGN in the clubhouse for all we know.
I love the Cubs, but feel free to be critical. This team has been so up and down all year that it’s driven me nuts. That said, Aramis is quickly becoming one of the best hitters in baseball.
I’m kinda tired today.
how Desipio goes quiet around 5 o’clock!!
Maybe I could pinch hit here?
My bloated .300+ BA is a sham. When’s the last time I had an RBI?
Maybe I shouldn’t be batting 8th?
Clement G W L IP H R ER HR
Pre A/S 18 7 8 117.1 94 41 38 10
W K ERA WHIP BAA
45 123 2.91 1.18 .217
Post 11 2 4 61.1 58 33 31 12 29 64 4.55 1.42 .248
Hits, walks and HR allowed per 9 IP are up.
Dusty is taking a risk every time he lets him pitch.
2 scoreless innings
Hey, Game 2, you guys are such losers!
Here we come!
Perhaps I should be in the rotation?
How many times have Chip or Steve said me today? I’ll put the over/under at six.
No walks for me! Dusty says I’m the clutch guy!
Did anyone hear Chip wondering which of the bare-chested Cubs fans got to write the letters C-U-B-S on the others’ chests? No wonder he likes to call baseball games: all those tight-pants-wearing, crotch-grabbing, sweating men.
Not so sure that Walker ball would have cleared me.
That sucked. But on the bright side, the game would’ve ended 5-4 Marlins and there’d be whining about another 1 run loss.
794 people voted that the Cubs should give big money in the offseason to Matt Clement on chicagosports.com. These people are retarded.
It’s never ever easy.
Nice to see Prior pitch a strong outing.
I’m back from my Cincy trip. Yes, that’s right, I went to the only game the Cubs lost on Saturday night. I did try to heckle Farnsworthless down in the bullpen though. I yelled at Remlinger and the Meat Tray as to where the Farns was? I said that Kyle was worthless and they just gave me that deer in the headlights look. But anyway it was a fun trip besides the loss.
Now getting to today’s double header. I know Dusty was blowing his wad after winning that first game with his scrubs who actually performed. Props to Prior for finally growing a pair and pitching into the eighth inning. It just took Mark until the third last week of the season to do this. Lee had a horrible day at the plate. It was getting old watching him strikeout. But hey, he has only played about every inning this year. So props for that Derrick.
Now, let’s get to this second game. Absolutely pathetic Clement. You knew we were beat from the minute that sorry bastard stepped onto the mound with his "Why am I living another day look." Matt, it’s great to be alive and playing one of the greatest games ever. Get a grip buddy. I disagree with TJ Brown on his thoughts on Clement versus Zambrano. At least you know Carlos has a pulse. Yes Clement somehow actually pitched well earlier in the season, but if you are hurt right now, we do have other guys that can pitch and win ballgames. It’s time for Clement to step aside and not cost us this wild card at the end. I believe Baker and Rothchild are getting sick and tired of his pussy hurting all the time. Then you got the Farns coming back today looking like Superman when the game has already been lost. He did just enough to make Dummy Dusty to believe he might actually have something. Dusty will fall for this trick again. Please Baker, we know you are ignorant, but the handwriting has been on the wall for quite a long time for the Worthless One.
We go to Pitt and New York here in the next few days and need to at least get 4 out of 6. 5 would be bonus, but we are the Cubs and of course will some how throw away a couple games. We will be counting on other teams to do our dirty work for us. I believe they will oblige as well.
GO CUBS!
I’m not an oil rig, fool.
Sorry about the deer-in-headlights nonreaction, Basher. Next time you want me to throw a chair at you or something?
You and I should be rooting for the Giants to win out from here, 12-0. Because if they do, we will be looking good at making the playoffs. Huh??
1. We are 3 games behind the Dodgers right now, .5 games ahead of the Astros.
2. The Giants play the Astros next 3 games; if they sweep, and Cubs go say, 2 out of 3 in Pissburg, we’re 2.5 up on the Ass-Trolls with just 10 to play.
3. The Giants play the Dodgers 6 more times. If the Giants sweep; or even 5 of 6 for that matter, we can pass the Dodgers.
4. So let the Giants go nuts, I’m all for it. They can knock out the Trolls and LAD for us. We match up better against SF anyway.
I should clarify, we’ll match up better against the Giants in the LCS of course. The LDS will be Cubs/Braves again (3rd time in 7 years) and Giants/Deadbirds. I bravely assume a Giants humiliation of the Tards.
I agree, #366. Then I can do a little dance on the mound when I strike Barroid out in the playoffs.
Baker Basher, you are a big pussy. Next time when you come to a game let me know in advance you worthless piece of crap. I’ll kick your ass all the way back home you big pussy
It was a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE loss! Waaaaaaaaaa!
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