The Bulls were dressed like clowns, Kirk Hinrich got taken out by a teammate and they got lit up by former Bulls’ superstar Adrian Griffin. Good stuff.
Dave van Dyck on the Cubs’ shopping list. It’s underwhelming at best.
Phil Rogers has his finger on the pulse of the Chicago baseball fan. He devotes an entire column to whether or not Roger Clemens will retire. What a dumbass.
Jamar Smith can shoot.
Good news, sorta, on Chris Harris. He didn’t tear anything in his knee, but it’s sprained and that means more Mike Green against Pissburgh.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut and he almost had me until he started spouting the Manny Ramirez nonsense. It’s also nonsense to think the Cubs need to make a major move because they’re “lost in the Sox glow.” First off, Chicago’s hardly all tittery over the Sox even after their season, and secondly, teams who make moves for PR sake over baseball sense don’t win. The Cubs don’t need a big move for attention, they need one to fix a bad baseball team.
The Blue Jays appeared to have stolen Darren Dreifort AJ Burnett from the Cardinals’ clutches.
Nomar says he’d play center for the Yankees. You know, if he’s willing to play anywhere, and the Cubs have holes everywhere…I’m just saying.
The Padres jacked around but eventually kept Brian Giles, now they’re trying the same hackneyed approach on Trevor Hoffman.
Jim Tracy seems to want to work with Milton again. Who knew?
The Red Sox might be after Sean Casey and the Twins like Austin kEARnS.
The Wizard of Roz isn’t sure the Cubs have a plan. But he’s pretty sure they should try to end every game with an unfunny (is there any other kind?) Alex Kaseberg joke.
There’s a grounder to second, the throw to first and the Cubs have lost their ninth in a row, 11-1 to the Brewers. Hey, did you see that Saddam Hussein trial? He’s the craziest thing to happen to daytime TV since Cold Pizza fired Kit Hoover!
Gordon Edes thinks the Manny trade is starting to come together. I think Gordon had too many mimosas.
TJ Simers (proud NIU alum) rips the Furcal deal for the Dodgers.
The Cardinals bounced back from losing AJ Burnett to sign Deivi Cruz (hee hee) and Gary Bennett (muahahahaha).
Always pasty Kelly Dwyer finally has something nice to say about the sun(s).
I love how MLBtraderumors.com will just run anything. No, seriously, I love that. Rumors are great.
America’s finest news source with Jackie Harvey’s latest news from Hollywood.
I got traded for a lick? I had no idea I was worth that much!
Is the dessert cart located somewhere in the desert?
Once Hendry finds it it’s as empty as a desert.
I just made a three way deal. Bill Bavasi sent two bearclaws my way, while I sent a Mounds Bar his way, Bavasi then turned around and sent the Mounds to Pat Gillick for his mini-bar Toblerone. I agreed to pick up half the cost of the Toblerone. These bearclaws were huge! I made out like a bandit, and the joke is on them, seeing as I’m allergic to coconut. Keep your chins up gang, I’m working extra hard today. Now I gotta work on getting Kenny Williams buffet ticket before his kids steal it.
So Andy, what you’re saying is that I’m a little…hefty?
I’ll field this one Andy, well Jim…you do wear me.
I can’t find my pants. :-(
Jim:
They’re under your waist. I know you can’t see it anymore, but your pants are there.
…that somebody made a Hendry/donuts/weight joke? Yeah, they were funny the first 5000 times you used them. Turn the page.
For the Cubs to be successful next year, Jim in gonna have to stretch the Minor League talent farther than me.
Wow, my article was dead on other than Manny. Probably the best article I’ve ever written.
Folks, honesty compels me to say that #9 is like ants at a picnic.
I dunno. The Manny stuff isn’t nonsense. Manny in left would be workable. It would be a bold move. They have the money. It would free Murton to be traded — and you can get a ton for him right now.
Jay didn’t seem to say it was a “must move” just “if you’re gonna throw $13mm at someone, why not throw it at Manny?”
Jay’s had worse ideas. Like doing Around the Horn every day.
nobody’s talking about me….
I’m the answer to your 2 holes hehe
I’m talking about CF and lead off..
Jerry Crasnick is reporting that I’ve accepted a 5-year $55 million deal to the Blue Jays. Boy, those crazy Canucks sure like giving pitchers 5-year contracts.
“TJ Simers (proud NIU alum) rips the Furcal deal…”
Proud of what (and please be specific)?
Dear Sir, on behalf of dimwitted 70 year olds I resent the reference to “dimwitted 70 year olds”. We perform many worhtwhile functions. If it were not for us the jobs in the adult diaper industry would be jeopardized and countless thousands of Malaysians in the polyester pants business could lose their customary one bowl of rice and a fish head per day. I am calling for an emergency meeting following the early bird dinner at Denny’s tomorrow afternoon to discuss our boycott of Desipio Ventures, or take a nap, whichever comes sooner.
#16– Allow me.
We’re proud of giving up a 36 yard TD with :10 left in the game while using a Prevent Defense, thus denying us a second consecutive bowl game during U of I’s “Dark Age”.
That’s some special stuff, kid.
I would take Crazy Manny and his wicked awesome bat over the two wifebeaters Bradley and Lugo 8 days a week.
Bradley and Lugo are two of the biggest scumbags in the game. Were it not for their money and pseudo-celebrity status that lets them get away with hitting women, they would be in prison. I would rather suck and cheer for good guys like Lee, Prior, Barrett, Wood and Dempster, than have success and have to cheer for two guys who I would spit on if I ever met ’em.
Anyone got an “IN DUSTY WE TRUST” T? Sounds like a good thing to have for the upcoming season.
I’m also the answer to the hole that the money is burning in your pocket.
So thats, er, 3. 3 holes!
I’m Back. Hends just signed me to a 1 year deal @ 28 Nutty Bars
One-Dog!
I am the one dog now, no?
You’re the man now, Dog!
I freaking rocked it today.
You guys are so wacky. I’d love to have Jim’s body.
Jose, me llamo Uno-Doggo, no es u es uno doggo. Comprende?
is such a jagoff. Anyone read what he said about Murton and Ron Ce?
Will someone please put a pad over the ivory? I’m going to be dead by the end of April.
So am I, like, the white Mack Netwon, or what?