Oh, those clever Tribune headline writers. See, Burnitz is bald and they said he had a “Bad err day.” Oh, that’s rich.
You know you lost when Ryan Dempster is the good news.
The Pistons won the game (and got one hellacious foul call on Tyson Chandler late in the game), but Tayshawn got the stitches.
Oh, and then so did Scott Skiles. How’d you like to be Chris Duhon today?
John Scheyer has narrowed it down to Duke and Illinois. So it comes down to who he likes better, his coach’s brother or Chris Collins? Since Collins is a little pretty boy jerkoff, I’d say it’s Illinois!
KC Johnson answers some questions about the playoff bound Bulls.
The Franchise is back on the mound again today. You just know it’s going to take him a few starts to get back into form, so this could be ugly.
Groucho thinks the Pistons look good. I watched the game. I thought they looked like s@#$.
Phil Rogers with another half-assed column. This one is about the Red Sox ring ceremony. On Baseball Tonight Harold Reynolds and John Kruk were upset that Derek Lowe and Dave Roberts wore Red Sox jerseys during the ceremony, even though they now play for the Dodgers and Padres. I hate to agree with the two dumbest men on TV, but it was a little lame. It’s fine to get your ring and give the fans a wave, but if somebody else is cutting your check, try and refrain from putting on your old boss’ work clothes.
Apparently Armando didn’t know how to execute Ty’s fade.
Larry Brown breaks out his Tyson Chandler knee pads.
Todd Walker says it sucks when a World Series caliber team keeps losing players. Why, did one of the Marlins get hurt?
Bill Pulsipher is back and is a key member of the Cardinals’ suddenly lousy bullpen.
The world’s finest newspaper says that a dwarf has killed Bigfoot.
Apparently all it takes is an interview on the radio where you do a complete 180 to get back into the lineup… After kissing Dusty’s ass on the Score this morning Jerry the lesser is now in the lineup and batting 1st… Neifi! is playing third…..
Hellllooooooo shutout! That is, if it’s not canceled due to rain…. Course then Chuck could be the wuss he is and renig on his bet with Al.. because admitting he was wrong is against his religon apparently…
Because really, the only way to make the lineup worse than having Neifi at second, would be to have Neifi at third.
It isn’t April 1st! Stop with the April Fools’ Jokes!!!!!
Dr. Dan Bernstein, just 24 hours removed from being embarrassed after claiming that Walker had a ruptured tendon or torn ACL and minutes later being told that it was not, is now stating that it is a “complete blatant lie” that the Cubs are claiming they are holding A-Ram out of today’s game because of wet/cool conditions instead of saying it’s a sore or pulled groin.
Never question Dan Berstein on anything. After all, he went to Duke, and now he’s got his own radio program, so he knows everything.
If you put yourself in Hairston’s shoes you’ll most likely end up with a broken foot
With tomorrow’s doubleheader, Dusty’s going to have all 3 Stoogies playing out there- Neifi(Moe), Macias(Curly), and Jerry(I mean Larry). That doesn’t play well with getting out the broomsticks and sweeping the doubleheader. But on a positive note, Dusty would most probably have to play Dubois at least one game, even though Dusty hates that. Finally, we will have our secret weapon of Hank White out there too. You can’t go wrong with that.
GO CUBS!
Baker Basher
Yahoo! Sports says that I was right:
3B Amaris Ramirez would have not started Tuesday’s game because of a recurring groin injury. Baker decided to start Neifi Perez at third because of the wet field and cold. “Hopefully, I’ll be all right for the game tomorrow,” Ramirez said. “It’s not like a soreness, it just wasn’t right. I think it’s because of the weather.”
Dude, if there’s a Yahoo sports article about it, complete with quote from E-ram himself, how is that “lying”? Is it lying because I didn’t call Bernstein and inform him personally?
Remember when Boers and Bernstein thought I was somehow funny? Bernstein is a Duke grad, dinner at his house growing up was an experience none of us could understand. His sister is even smarter than he is, if you can believe that! He is so above my head it’s sick.
You guys are just jealous because I am as ugly on the outside as all of you are on the inside.
I wrote a piece for si where I use shitty, injured pitchers as examples to make the AL look better and tougher than the NL. I don’t back it up with individual numbers though. I am just another pathetic, know nothing loser of a writer, in the same tradition as Phil Rogers, who has no business being a professional. The NL is for losers, baseball should be all about offense, errors,and lack of strategy. If you disagree with me, you are disagreeing with Harold Reynolds and the great Phil Rogers. The only reason Beckett. Burnett, Oswalt, Peavy, Prior, Zambrano, Smoltz, Schmidt, Sheets, Clemens, and many others are any good is because they pitch in the NL. I mean, Schilling did so much worse in the Al. Just like most writers, I like to beat a dead horse over and over.
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