By all accounts, New York Mets outfielder Mike Cameron is a smart guy. Sure, he’s not smart enough not to swing at any pitch within seven feet of home plate, but you can’t become one of the best defensive outfielders without having some brains. It’s not like Otis Nixon ever won a gold glove, or anything, right?
When the Mets were courting Carlos Beltran, Cameron said he’d be happy to move to right field to accomodate the star. We now know that the reason Cameron said that was that he didn’t think there was a snowball’s chance in hell of the Mets actually signing Beltran. Now, Cameron doesn’t want to move.
If he’s serious about staying in center, that’s going to create an awfully strange defensive alignment with two guys in center and nobody in right. So are the Mets going to have to trade Mike Cameron and find another right fielder?
Does anybody know a right fielder who might be available?
Think hard. Maybe it’ll come to you.
Now I’m not saying the Cubs should trade for Mike Cameron. He’s a nice player, especially if you are big into a .240 average and 160 strikeouts. He’s like Corey Patterson…only older, and worse. But there are teams who like Mike Cameron. Heck, he’s already played for four of them.
Billy Beane practically gets a chubby when he talks about Cameron’s defense. Cameron’s due $14 million over the next two seasons. Seven mildo for a gloveless bat is a lot for the A’s to pay. So how about the Cubs help out? Hey, some people give to Tsunami Charities…let’s give to the A’s.
How about a three-way trade (Beane loves those, and it has to kill him that so far his big deals have been straight two way deals), that sends The Gladiator to the Mets, Cameron to the A’s and Octavio Dotel to the Cubs?
The salaries are a little off, so we’ll have to figure those out.
Mike Cameron
2005 – $6 million
2006 – $8 million
Octavio Dotel
2005 – $2.8 million (according to ESPN.com)
Samuel Peralta Sosa
2005 – $ Eleventy billion dollars
2006 – $ Eleventy billion more dollars
Or something like that. OK, so Sammy’s what, $16 million this year and if traded he’s $17 million next year unless the team works out an extension with him.
So how about this? The Cubs send Sosa to the Mets and since they can apparently pay Carlos Beltran $19 million more dollars than anybody else has offered, they can worry about Sammy’s deal themselves. Screw ’em. You know he’s going to end up with a Shawn Green type deal where he ends up with a three year, $36 million deal that pays him $16 this year and $20 over the next two. Instead, the Cubs send some scratch to the A’s to help them cover Cameron’s deal.
Then, they sign Magglio Ordonez to a one year deal so we can hear his knee grind in right field and Hendry gets busy trying to pry a left fielder off some unsuspecting team, and if you have to do an inseason trade to get it done and we have to trot out Todd Hollandsworth and Jason Dubois for a while, so be it.
Damn, this stuff is easy.
I pointed out the other day…Monday, to be exact, that Maggs has traditionally hit righties as well as, or better than most good lefthanded hitters, and intrepid reader Len Kasper pointed out in an e-mail this morning, he saw a team win a World Series in the fairly recent past with one lefthanded batter in the lineup, and that guy wasn’t exactly Barry Bonds. It was Juan Pierre. Kasper had pretty nice seats to watch it happen, too. He was hanging over the backstop. Sure, lineup balance is nice, but if your guys can hit…who cares?
Kasper also reminded me that sometimes those one-year deals some players end up taking in the middle of their careers to prove that they’re healthy (or not a complete closet case) work out. He cited, as examples, Pudge Rodriguez’s 2003 Marlins deal and Armando Bentiez’s 2004 Marlins deal. Good news for those of us pulling for Nomar and Magglio (provided he’s a Cub…if he signs with anybody else, I hope his leg falls off).
———–
The Tribune reported today that somebody with money to (literally) burn has decided to try and bring a WNBA franchise to Chicago. In the article, a guy named Mike DeLorenzo (aparently he’s the marketing whiz who brings acts like Corey Hart and Bonnie Tyler to the UIC Pavilion), says that when the women’s ABA team in Chicago, the Condors, played their home games at the Pavilion that, “The first several games, our attendance was over 6,000 but it never really got off the ground because the league folded.” Well, sure there’s that. It was popular until nobody wanted to do it. But 6,000? Really? There haven’t been that many lesbians in one place since Rosie O’Donnell stopped sponsoring cruises.
A WNBA team in Chicago though would be beneficial to a number of people. For example, you’ll need orthopedists to handle the rash of ACL surgeries. The Red Dog, Berlin and The Closet would have to hire extra bartenders. Oh, I think it’ll be a boon to the community.
————–
John Tait is moving from right tackle to left next year. No word yet on whether he’ll actually block anybody.
Adrian Griffin is a nice guy, he works hard, he plays hard and he’s not very good.
Somebody better remind Luther Head there’s a game tonight.
The Bears have dumped secondary coach Vance Bedford and it looks like Leslie Frazier will return to the team.
The Dodgers payroll only seems like it’s over $100 million.
The Astros are after Jeromy Burnitz TO PLAY CENTERFIELD!! Excuse me while I laugh until my ears bleed.
The Mariners aren’t trading Randy Winn. That’s just as well. He’s not really very good.
Are you like me, had you already forgotten that Mike Hargrove is the new Mariners’ manager?
Bill Plaschke seems like he’s going to miss Shawn Green.
The Astros quest to finally get that all-caucasian team they’ve been trying for got a boost when they re-signed Mike Lamb. Now if they get Burnitz to play center, they just need to replace Jose Vizcaino with Lou Merloni and Orlando Palmeiro with Chad Curtis and they’re all set!
The end of the article points out that six Astros are still awaiting arbitration offers. “Six more players remain arbitration-eligible: Outfielder Lance Berkman and pitchers Roger Clemens, Brandon Duckworth, Peter Munro, Roy Oswalt and Tim Redding.” White, white, white, white, white and…hey, white!
Looks like they’ll get their offers.
America’s finest news source with some incentives people are getting offered to go into teaching.
Maybe Sharon Pannozzo could get some work in the off-season if the WNBA comes to town. Just a thought.
Matt, if you’re reading this, Berlin was the club that they wouldn’t let us into because they didn’t trust your Aussie IDs.
If the part about Len Kasper sending an e-mail with the points he made inside, I think it’s safe to assume one thing. The ass-clownage in the Cubs’ booth will be reversed by a rate of about 100%.
Meant to say "is true" right before the first comma. Just in case Andy was George Ofman’ing.
I take full credit in what Andy says by default, but with Desipio, you never know. I’ve heard they could be LYING at any given time!
It’s twoo! It’s twoo!
Here’s the way to get the left fielder and make the money work. Take Cameron and Floyd.
Ugh. That’s a pretty bad outfield, Kam, Korey and Floyd.
Perhaps not.
Hey Chuck, even you would have to admit I’d be the best OF’er in that bunch.
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