This Mark Prior guy, he’s good, and so was Hank White…for a day at least.
Dusty gave the Cubs a big pep talk before the game. He emphasized it’s time for the team to “make a move.” Some smart ass in the back yelled, “OK! You’re fired!” OK, not really, but that would have been funny.
Rick Morrissey embraces his own— and the Cubs’– mediocrity.
Teddy G. on poker and Norman Chad. And news that the Score might move Boers and Bernstein to the 2-6 p.m. slot. For those of you who still listen to the Score this is good news. For those of us who jammed screwdrivers through our eardrums long ago, we don’t care.
Sanhita Sans with news on how to get your homemade sign shown on TV when you’re at the game! I’d like to write a piece for the Tribune that explains that if you’re loserly enough to make a sign and bring it to a game you should be beaten to death with one of Barry Foote’s old jockstraps.
Honestly, why don’t they give the real tips?
There. You’re on TV! And you are still a pathetic loser.
Bruce Weber got a raise. I guess he can stop setting his house on fire for the insurance money, now.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to finally come the realization that it’s time to ditch the seventh inning stretch singers. Well sure, we’ve only been subjected to this pointless drivel for seven years now. Way to catch on, Jay!
John McDonough gives Len Kasper and Bob Brenly an A. They’re a good pair, I enjoy them. But McDonough hired them, what was he going to say, “Oh, they suck. I’m trying to find Joe Carter’s phone number.”
Hank channeled the great 24’s in Cubs history, like Steve Buchelle, Bryan Dayette and Tom Goodwin, instead of the great 9’s in Cubs history like Scott Servais, Todd Hundley and Paul Bako.
Curt Schilling gave up a double to Gary Sheffield on a pitch he threw before his catcher was ready and a homer to A-Rod that is still flying over the Atlantic in his debut as Red Sox “closer.” Hee hee. The best part was how exhausted the fat pig was from the jog in from the bullpen. You watch, the Sox will bring back the bullpen car, just for Curtsy.
Marty Burns on the high flying rookie who turned heads in the Vegas summer league. It was not Eddie Basden or Nick Smith.
Bob Nightengale on the Thome trade rumor. Forgive him for not knowing Preston Wilson was already a National (later on in the piece) though the date says yesterday, this was in Sports Weekly so Bob probably had to have it written by Monday.
Philly Burbs.com on the Phillies Phire sale. I didn’t just do that thing with the Ph’s did I?
AJ Burnett sure looked ready to the help the Sox last night didn’t he? Oh, and the Twins are after Mike Lowell. If you’re the Marlins why WOULDN’T you trade Lowell? You can move Miguel Cabrera back to third base where he’s even more valuable to you and then go shopping for outfielders.
Bob Klapisch says it’s time for the Yankees to trade for Roger Clemens. I guess in New Jersey they didn’t get the memo that the Astros are pretending to be in the race, like the Cubs.
Richard Justice says an Adam Dunn to the Astros trade is unlikely, because the Reds want so much in return and because the Astros aren’t sure Adam’s really all that good. Fine, send him to the Cubs, we’ll tell you how crappy he is.
Joe Randa is on the block (probably to the Twins or White Sox) along with one or two of Junior, Dunn, kEARnS or Wily Mo, and of course, our old pal Kent Mercker.
Roger Clemens’ retarded son Koby will have to learn to say “Go Astros!” There’s no chance that kid can say a word with that many “s” sounds in it.
Oooh, the Red Sox are going to bring back Gabe Kapler! Why not Mike Greenwell or Ellis Burks?
Carol Slezak and something about Mark Cuban wanting to buy the Cubs if they ever are for sale. I don’t know, I can’t get through her pointless crap.
America’s finest news source with this lovely essay, “If the heat doesn’t kill the elderly, I will.”
Anybody who thinks having hair just like Gene Wilder is OK in my book.
you light up mine life
Steve Buchelle, Bryan Dayette, Tom Goodwin, Scott Servais, Todd Hundley and Paul Bako.
Reading all these names in the same sentence made me physically ill.
over / under for Hank’s lucid status
Nice to see Moronotti with another in an endless string of hard-hitting journalistic pieces. Honestly, why this guy is even paid to cover sports is beyond me. His thirst for glitz and celebrity is palpable in his horrible writing.
Let’s see, Prior K’s 10, the Cubs win four in a row. Umm, I got it. Let’s write about the 7th inning singers. Moran.
For the record, I’m not as annoyed by the guest conductor program as much as the fact that their PR wonks bully McDonough into getting an on-air interview with the broadcast teams. Trying to listen to what’s happening in the game while Pat and Ron navigate through a Jeremy Piven interview makes root canal seem desirable by comparison.
I’da given you something for Thome a few years ago. Today, if it’s the Phillies as trading partners, it’s Wagner.
Anyone want tix to Second City?
Speaking of being on TV, why in the hell did ESPN insist on fawning over those three clowns in Fenway last night who snagged a home run before Trot Nixon could try to catch it? These three dopes were on their cell phones within 15 seconds of catching the ball, and they acted like they were the most famous people in America. They even sent Erin Andrews down to interview them, and I’m surprised these goofs didn’t ask her if they could pull a train on her. Quit glorifying the idiots in the stands. Please.
Speaking of being on TV, why in the hell did ESPN insist on fawning over those three clowns in Fenway last night who snagged a home run before Trot Nixon could try to catch it? These three dopes were on their cell phones within 15 seconds of catching the ball, and they acted like they were the most famous people in America. They even sent Erin Andrews down to interview them, and I’m surprised these goofs didn’t ask her if they could pull a train on her. Quit glorifying the idiots in the stands. Please.
And quit glorifying the guys who double-post.
Obviously, I supplied a ‘canned’ column so as not to interfere with my duties as guest moran on Pardon the Interruption yesterday. Either that or the Sun-Times ran out of donuts yesterday.
Gosh Darn! Dusty is a good manager! He is just protecting the rookies from good pitcher like Josh Fogg and Al Leiter!
Greetings chaps, I noticed that there is nothing in the dose concerning me, and my comments today. I do need to learn how to shut my mouth.
Cal City represent! Word to yo’ motha, bitches. I’m out.
No Jeremy, they don’t, they will however want some Steppenwolf tickets though.
We don’t want those either, Gary. You got Blue Man Group?
If the Sox are a team full of “grinders”, does that make the cubs a team full of “Hoagies”? Love the site, keep up the good work.
You guys want a winning baseball team in Chicago? Tell the Tribune to sell the Cubs to me!!!
Absolutly…..Steppenwolf blows.
I’ll bring an Entourage….
I’m an idiot. Read my pile from today…..
Wade Boggs? Yes! Ryne Sandberg? Uh, well …
Sandberg belongs in the Hall of Very Good. Yet Boggs and Sandberg will both be inducted into the Hall of Fame on July 31.
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
Is there me to this “article”?
I’m just amazed that Creepy Skip Bayless took a break from me long enough to pen that compositional diarrhea.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bayless/0507
Thank You.
Aw, hell yeah.
Jerry Hairston Jr., CF
Todd Walker, 2B
Derrek Lee, 1B
Jeromy Burnitz, RF
Aramis Ramirez, 3B
Todd Hollandsworth, LF
Neifi Perez, SS
Michael Barrett, C
Kerry Wood, P
Bayless had the chance to see me play every day for about 2 months of 1997, when he joined the Tribune. Problem was, he was too busy stuffing his face at his brother’s Frontera Grill and then busy bashing his car into a truck at US 12 and County Highway AA in Genoa City, Wis., to pay any attention to me.
If he came by 13 years earlier, he might have seen the effect I had on Cubdom, and in turn, baseball. Oh, and I was a pretty damn good player, except for the year that I knew I had to dump my wife instead of demanding the Cubs keep no Latin players.
I was on ESPN with Scoop Jackson the other night doing an “Old School – Nu Skul”. It was unwatchable. The “Scoops” and “Skips” were flying left and right. Pitiful……
My gad, am I a piece of shit. I need to take a nosedive of a tall building. If you want a slow painful death, watch me daily on 1st and 10. Guh, I suck.
I’m an annoying turd, but at least I can cook, Skippy is worthless.
Vanderbilt has had a few accomplished sportswriters. Me (if I dare say so myself; you have to admit I’m not an annoying assbag and I do know my shit, even if I do write for the Worldwide Leader and once covered the Evil Empire for the Gray Lady), Grantland Rice, and of course the two guys who cover the New York teams for the Gray Lady thanks to me: Lee Jenkins and Tyler Kepner.
But Skip Bayless, they don’t like to brag he went to Vandy. We’re more likely to brag that Al Gore flunked out of law school and divinity school.
I feel your pain, Rick
Big Gay Skip goes against Palmeiro on the basis that he wasn’t a “game-changing” player.
But then he later dismisses Sandberg.
Because, you know, 6 feet tall, power hitting second baseman were so abundant before Sandberg arrived at the keystone. Nothing “game-changing” about that. Not to mention his game-changing defense at second. No National League second baseman before or since had as many 600+ assist seasons as Sandberg.
Big Gay Skip’s all over the place.
I think he needs to go back to fantasizing about luring Troy Aikman out of the closet.
Tom, you ungrateful shit, I am gonna have you shanked in the shower, watch your back, bitch.
Hey brother,
How ’bout some punishment that I WON’T enjoy, dumbass?
Oh yeah, I forgot about that, no wonder you were always mom’s favorite.
I honestly believe that I would begin pummeling Skip Bayless if I ever see him in person. I wish Dana Jacobson would pull out a switchblade and slit his throat sometime on “Cold Pizza”. She deserves a medal for having to stand between Skippy and Woody every day.
Watch me during the show, sometimes I get a gleam of murder in my eye. I could destroy Bayless too…easily.
I get worn out when Skip services Joe Morgan.
I could snap little skippy’s head like a chicken bone, but just smothering him would be less messy.
Rick and Skip are brothers? Who knew? If they had a sister would she be named Buffy?
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