When you lose eight games in a row, something has to change. Cubs fans clamored for a trade. New bums had to be better than the bums we were watching. Instead, the team sent two of the underachievers to Iowa and brought up a “couple” from West Tennessee.
That change resulted in a three game winning streak before the All-Star break.
Then yesterday, Henry Blanco, threw caution to the wind and dumped the familiar number nine and traded it in for a nice, spiffy 24. Two doubles and two RBI later, the Cubs winning streak was four, and Hank White took center stage on an atypically long WGN postgame (apparently it was all a ruse so they could subject us to a This Old Cub clip).
Hank’s batting average wearing nine? .158
Hank’s batting average wearing 24? .500
Maybe the Cubs should bring Corey Patterson back up and give him a new number?
Nah.
The win over Pissburgh was a good omen for the second half. Mark Prior went eight innings (probably one more than he should have) with less than his best stuff and Pissburgh never really hit a ball hard off of him.
Jerry Hairston managed to make Len and Bob happy by getting hit with a bunt, because they’ve explained that rule about 1400 times since spring training and finally got to show us an example.
Todd Walker homered and Matt Murton got to play again and bat fifth. Ooh, he probably got dizzy from being so high.
But you have to remember, these are the Pirates and they’re bad. The Cubs play them three more times between now and Sunday and they really should consider winning all of those games. It’d be nice. Really. If they do this, I can’t promise anything, but I’ll look into buying them a pony. It might be too costly and somebody’s going to have feed the pony and shovel up the pony poo, but I’ll see what I can do. I’m sure there are some strings I could pull. There’s probably a pony wrangler or somebody I can call. I’m just laying it out there.
Corey Patterson made his Iowa Cubs debut last night. He homered and struck out twice. So no progress on night one. Call us in March, Corey.
According to some reports the Phillies are packing it in. They’re giving up and trying to find takers for Jim Thome (call Ivy Chat, they’ll give you something for him) and Billy Wagner and Tim Worrell, only Worrell’s busy with AA right now and I don’t mean double A, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, gulp, gulp.
This is interesting news because the Phillies have a better record than the Cubs, are closer to a playoff spot in both their division and the wild card and just like the Cubs did last weekend, they get to fatten up on a reeling (no pun intended) Marlins team.
So what does this say for those of us who still think the Cubs are in the playoff race?
It says two things, we’re dopes and we’re smarter than Phillies GM Ed Wade. Actually, those are mutually inclusive.
Ironically, if you trade for Jim Thome he comes packaged like Hannibal Lecter. Remember when they were moving him in “Silence of the Lambs” and they had him strapped to that gurney and stood it up and you could see the mask they had on him so he couldn’t eat anybody? Yeah, Thome’s is just like that except without the mask and he’s strapped to the gurney because otherwise he can’t stand up. According to National League rules you can have the bat boys roll him out to first base to start the inning and then roll him back into the dugout after the inning’s over, but he’s on his own in between times. In the American League you can DH him like you do with every other washed up gimp.
Although, the way Jason Dubois and Matt Murton have played defensively in left field this season, you could probably roll Jim’s gurney out to left and not hurt the Cubs defense much.
Murton’s error yesterday was particularly frustrating because it just gives Dusty Baker more of a reason to play Todd Hollandsworth. Not that he needs a reason because he’s going to do it anyway, but he’s got something he can point to. Ironically, Murton’s error, when he muffed a single that had almost stopped rolling in front of him, is exactly the kind of misplays Todd’s been famous for in his almost two years as a Cub.
Look, I like Todd Hollandsworth. Anybody who thinks having hair just like Gene Wilder is OK in my book. But he’s not an everyday left fielder. He’s a fourth outfielder and very good pinch hitter. But Dusty won’t use him like that. No. Dusty’s going to play him every day, meaning on days he plays, Dusty has nobody on the bench who can do anything lefthanded.
I stand corrected if it is true, as rumored, that Jose Macias wipes himself with his left hand, otherwise, it’s true.
Murton isn’t the savior, not this year at least, but honestly, how much more production are you getting in left field with Hollandworth batting against righties and Murton coming off the bench, than letting Murton play pretty much every day and have Hollandsworth come off the bench? None. Hollandsworth is hitting righties and lefties the same this year. His average against right handed pitchers is .270, against lefties it’s .267. His on base average is actually almost 50 points higher when he faces lefties.
You’re not getting an advantage by platooning him. So why do it? Why weaken your bench when the guy you’re using against righties doesn’t mash them and is only getting on base against them at a .309 clip?
There was no reason to platoon Hollandsworth and Dubois, either. If Dubois lost playing time because he fielded out there like it was a scavenger hunt that’s one thing, but we all know that’s not why Jason lost playing time. He lost it because Dusty only begrudgingly gave it to him in the first place, and wanted ANY reason to take it away. Dubois starting wearing his glove inside out and Hollandsworth got “hot”. That was Dusty’s reasoning.
Dusty’s aversion to rookies isn’t all that unique. No manager “likes” to play unproven players, but good ones do it when they don’t have a good proven player as an alternative. Dusty doesn’t have one in left field. He’s just pretending he does.
Even if he eventually does the right thing (assuming the Cubs don’t trade for a left fielder, which it seems likely they will), it’ll be just like when he moved Hairston and Walker to the top two spots in the batting order. It’ll be doing the right thing much later than he should have.
How many games did the Cubs piss away while Dusty was trying to ram square pegs Corey and Neifi through those round holes at the top of the lineup card? A dozen? If you win three or four of those wouldn’t you be better off?
Perhaps Dusty’s just a slow learner. Maybe he’s baseball dyslexic? Somebody call the Sylvan Learning Center and get Dusty a baseball tutor!
How funny would it be to see Dusty on the bench next to some Asian grad student from Northwestern wearing a yellow Sylvan Learning Center polo shirt. You can see Dusty and the Sylvan guy going over some flash cards between innings.
Sadly, the Asian grad student in the yellow polo might be our best hope.
Anybody who thinks having hair just like Gene Wilder is OK in my book.
you light up mine life
Steve Buchelle, Bryan Dayette, Tom Goodwin, Scott Servais, Todd Hundley and Paul Bako.
Reading all these names in the same sentence made me physically ill.
over / under for Hank’s lucid status
Nice to see Moronotti with another in an endless string of hard-hitting journalistic pieces. Honestly, why this guy is even paid to cover sports is beyond me. His thirst for glitz and celebrity is palpable in his horrible writing.
Let’s see, Prior K’s 10, the Cubs win four in a row. Umm, I got it. Let’s write about the 7th inning singers. Moran.
For the record, I’m not as annoyed by the guest conductor program as much as the fact that their PR wonks bully McDonough into getting an on-air interview with the broadcast teams. Trying to listen to what’s happening in the game while Pat and Ron navigate through a Jeremy Piven interview makes root canal seem desirable by comparison.
I’da given you something for Thome a few years ago. Today, if it’s the Phillies as trading partners, it’s Wagner.
Anyone want tix to Second City?
Speaking of being on TV, why in the hell did ESPN insist on fawning over those three clowns in Fenway last night who snagged a home run before Trot Nixon could try to catch it? These three dopes were on their cell phones within 15 seconds of catching the ball, and they acted like they were the most famous people in America. They even sent Erin Andrews down to interview them, and I’m surprised these goofs didn’t ask her if they could pull a train on her. Quit glorifying the idiots in the stands. Please.
Speaking of being on TV, why in the hell did ESPN insist on fawning over those three clowns in Fenway last night who snagged a home run before Trot Nixon could try to catch it? These three dopes were on their cell phones within 15 seconds of catching the ball, and they acted like they were the most famous people in America. They even sent Erin Andrews down to interview them, and I’m surprised these goofs didn’t ask her if they could pull a train on her. Quit glorifying the idiots in the stands. Please.
And quit glorifying the guys who double-post.
Obviously, I supplied a ‘canned’ column so as not to interfere with my duties as guest moran on Pardon the Interruption yesterday. Either that or the Sun-Times ran out of donuts yesterday.
Gosh Darn! Dusty is a good manager! He is just protecting the rookies from good pitcher like Josh Fogg and Al Leiter!
Greetings chaps, I noticed that there is nothing in the dose concerning me, and my comments today. I do need to learn how to shut my mouth.
Cal City represent! Word to yo’ motha, bitches. I’m out.
No Jeremy, they don’t, they will however want some Steppenwolf tickets though.
We don’t want those either, Gary. You got Blue Man Group?
If the Sox are a team full of “grinders”, does that make the cubs a team full of “Hoagies”? Love the site, keep up the good work.
You guys want a winning baseball team in Chicago? Tell the Tribune to sell the Cubs to me!!!
Absolutly…..Steppenwolf blows.
I’ll bring an Entourage….
I’m an idiot. Read my pile from today…..
Wade Boggs? Yes! Ryne Sandberg? Uh, well …
Sandberg belongs in the Hall of Very Good. Yet Boggs and Sandberg will both be inducted into the Hall of Fame on July 31.
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
YOU SUCK BIG TIME
Is there me to this “article”?
I’m just amazed that Creepy Skip Bayless took a break from me long enough to pen that compositional diarrhea.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bayless/0507
Thank You.
Aw, hell yeah.
Jerry Hairston Jr., CF
Todd Walker, 2B
Derrek Lee, 1B
Jeromy Burnitz, RF
Aramis Ramirez, 3B
Todd Hollandsworth, LF
Neifi Perez, SS
Michael Barrett, C
Kerry Wood, P
Bayless had the chance to see me play every day for about 2 months of 1997, when he joined the Tribune. Problem was, he was too busy stuffing his face at his brother’s Frontera Grill and then busy bashing his car into a truck at US 12 and County Highway AA in Genoa City, Wis., to pay any attention to me.
If he came by 13 years earlier, he might have seen the effect I had on Cubdom, and in turn, baseball. Oh, and I was a pretty damn good player, except for the year that I knew I had to dump my wife instead of demanding the Cubs keep no Latin players.
I was on ESPN with Scoop Jackson the other night doing an “Old School – Nu Skul”. It was unwatchable. The “Scoops” and “Skips” were flying left and right. Pitiful……
My gad, am I a piece of shit. I need to take a nosedive of a tall building. If you want a slow painful death, watch me daily on 1st and 10. Guh, I suck.
I’m an annoying turd, but at least I can cook, Skippy is worthless.
Vanderbilt has had a few accomplished sportswriters. Me (if I dare say so myself; you have to admit I’m not an annoying assbag and I do know my shit, even if I do write for the Worldwide Leader and once covered the Evil Empire for the Gray Lady), Grantland Rice, and of course the two guys who cover the New York teams for the Gray Lady thanks to me: Lee Jenkins and Tyler Kepner.
But Skip Bayless, they don’t like to brag he went to Vandy. We’re more likely to brag that Al Gore flunked out of law school and divinity school.
I feel your pain, Rick
Big Gay Skip goes against Palmeiro on the basis that he wasn’t a “game-changing” player.
But then he later dismisses Sandberg.
Because, you know, 6 feet tall, power hitting second baseman were so abundant before Sandberg arrived at the keystone. Nothing “game-changing” about that. Not to mention his game-changing defense at second. No National League second baseman before or since had as many 600+ assist seasons as Sandberg.
Big Gay Skip’s all over the place.
I think he needs to go back to fantasizing about luring Troy Aikman out of the closet.
Tom, you ungrateful shit, I am gonna have you shanked in the shower, watch your back, bitch.
Hey brother,
How ’bout some punishment that I WON’T enjoy, dumbass?
Oh yeah, I forgot about that, no wonder you were always mom’s favorite.
I honestly believe that I would begin pummeling Skip Bayless if I ever see him in person. I wish Dana Jacobson would pull out a switchblade and slit his throat sometime on “Cold Pizza”. She deserves a medal for having to stand between Skippy and Woody every day.
Watch me during the show, sometimes I get a gleam of murder in my eye. I could destroy Bayless too…easily.
I get worn out when Skip services Joe Morgan.
I could snap little skippy’s head like a chicken bone, but just smothering him would be less messy.
Rick and Skip are brothers? Who knew? If they had a sister would she be named Buffy?
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