Awards shows, especially Hollywood awards shows are really nothing more than a chance for really dumb rich people to give trophies to other really dumb rich people. But once and a while, they get something exactly right.
There I was, nearly comatose on the couch flipping around the channels and complaining that football season and baseball season don’t overlap at both ends when the Golden Globes presented the award for Best Comedy series.
Knowing full well that Hollywood (and Doughnuts Mariotti) loves the awful “Sex and the City” show, I had my thumb ready to change the channel as soon as the presenter said “Seh…”, but to my surprise, “The Office” won.
My absolute favorite part of the show was then a few awards later when Ricky Gervais, the creator of The Office, who plays the hilariously smarmy David Brent won for Best Actor in a Comedy and they panned around the room and people were clapping like the applause sign went on during a taping of “According to Jim”, they knew they were supposed to clap, but they had no idea why. You could even see Barbra Stresiand shake her head and say, “Who?”
If you haven’t seen the show, and since it’s on BBC America, most of you probably haven’t seen it, it’s absolutely hysterical. Had the Hollywood Foreign Press given me a vote, and given the nominees it would have come down to Arrested Development and The Office, I would have voted for The Office, too. What I don’t understand though, is why The Office was eligible to win a Golden Glove and the original, British version of Coupling isn’t. But that’s just me.
I got a little tired of the NBC promo about how February will be the best month of TV ever, because they kept touting the “Ed” wedding. Look, if you know it’s a good show, why did you cancel the damned thing? Why did you bump it from it’s cushy Wednesday night slot to show the Donald Trump show “The Apprentice” only to decide that you’d rather show “The Apprentice” on Thursday nights instead? I’ve got to tell you, once the sale of NBC to Desipio goes final, heads are going to roll, and not just the bald one of Matt Lauer, either.
Back to the Globes, Paris Hilton won an award for best “Nightvision home sex video”
, where she narrowly beat out the girl who R. Kelly peed on.
Here’s a clip they played from “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” in which Frodo Baggins is attacked by one of the Orcs. No, wait, that’s Kelly Osbourne. Oops.
I need to apologize.
To the Orcs.
Here, Queen Latifah laughs hysterically at the news that Sharon Stone thinks her hair looks good.
The most annoying speech of the night was given by Sofia Coppola and this fat guy,
He kept repeating the names of everyone she thanked and she refused to apologize for singlehandedly ruining “Godfather III.”
Here’s Bill Murray accepting his Globe for “Lost in Translation”, and he’s wearing his Raleigh St. Clair costume from “The Royal Tenenbaums.”
The best interview of the night was Lisa Ling’s pre-show talk with actor Ken Wantanabe of “The Last Samurai” in which Ken proved he knows three English words. Guh.
Check out this after-show party photo of a haggard Sarah Jessica Parker (she’s not aging well), Kristin Davis (who is aging extremely well) and check out the look on the other woman’s face. That’s the look I get whenever I’m forced to watch more than eight seconds of Sex and the City.
Fine, so Charlize Theron won an award for “Monster.” All this does is prove my point that Hollywood is so screwed up that they’ll put hot chicks like Charlize and Nicole Kidman in movies and make them so ugly that no man would want to watch the movie and then to justify it, they give them a trophy. Big whup. I saw “Sweet November” I know a no talent hack when I see one. And it wasn’t just Keanu who killed that movie.
Somewhere, Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick are planning a lawsuit.
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Over the weekend I finally got caught up on my Real World: San Diego watching and I’m disturbed by the fact that I don’t like any of them. Actually, I like Jaquese, and the cross-eyed Asian one who’s never on the show can’t be too bad, but I hope the rest of them drown in the hot tub. Especially Cameran, who just might be the dumbest Real Worlder since…well, CT.
How pathetic was it she and stupid Italian Chicago guy both flunked their boat exam, then crammed for it and were proud that they both got 99 percent. Big deal. They studied off of the actual test. How do you not get 100 percent? Morans.
Easily the funniest and strangest thing so far in this horrific edition of the Real World is Frankie’s phobia about huge ships. She actually runs out of the room when a cruise ship goes by their window. She says she’s “afraid of large metal structures.” Uh…like buildings? Yikes.
Eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Greg Maddux’s agent, Scott Boras, is trying to get the Dodgers and Mariners to bid on both Maddux and Pudge Rodriguez in an effort to drive the prices up on the only offers either player has gotten. The Cubs are the only team to make Maddux an offer and the Tigers are the only ones to make one to Pudge.
The Dodgers would rather spend money on a hitter, but they realize it doesn’t make much sense to pay $10 to Pudge to move Paul LoDuca to first base. You’ll have two above average hitting catchers in your lineup, when you’d be better off to spend that kind of money on a real first baseman who will provide more offense for less cash. If LA does make an offer, it will be to Maddux, and then they’ll trade a starting pitcher to the White Sox for Paul Konerko. Chances are that the Dodgers won’t offer Maddux anything more than the Cubs already have, though, because a trade for Konerko would jack their payroll up all by itself, and they’d have little money left for Greggie.
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Illinois didn’t just lose at Wisconsin, but they added another chapter to the Bruce Weber book “How I took a good team and turned it into an NIT team in 120 short days”. Sure, Bill Self has a couple of embarassing losses at Kansas (Nevada and Richmond spring to mind) but Weber’s not doing anything to extinguish the Self-love in Champaign.
I’ll tell you when the Illini will finally start to win tough games on the road again. It’ll happen just as soon as Dee Brown realizes he’s the fourth best offensive player on his own team…and not a moment before.
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Groucho says the screwed up Bulls aren’t alone.
Groucho also says that Shaq and Kobe still don’t like each other. I still don’t care.
The Bulls slapped down Jalen Rose who called them “the worst team in the NBA.”
As I write this, I believe Jay Mariotti is gurgling his way through the airwaves on his new radio show. Oh, God why?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to suck up to Bill Belichick.
Byron Scott got whacked. Who saw this coming?
Sports Guy is in Houston for the Super Bowl. Actually, he’s just there to work on the Kimmel Show.
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback.
Jim Edmonds might be playing in Sweden this year.
A Britsh man took his son to school in a helicopter and blew out the school’s windows. Oops.
What a shock, the white kids of Michael Jackson aren’t really his.
America’s finest news source catches up with the fat ladies Rosie O’Donnell left to fend for themselves.
I will be attending the University of Iowa Baseball Banquet next Monday evening. Jim Hendry is the featured speaker, and Milwaukee Brewers "ace" Wes Obermueller will also be in attendance. Wes is an Iowa grad and lives in nearby North Libery in the off-season, but most importantly he beat the Astros 10-2 on the Saturday the Cubs swept Pittsburgh in a DH to clinch the NL Central. All of Wes’ drinks are on me that night.
I have VIP tickets, so there will be an hour where we get to visit (and hopefully drink beer with) the guests of honor). Anybody got any questions for Mr. Hendry or Wes?
Ouch, man, all I did was that "test" thing a few times and now I’m the dumbest Real Worlder ever?
Hey, you forgot to link up to John Jackson’s Sun-Times article which basically serves as a promo for Mariotti’s new radio show on ESPN-1000 (god help us all). Why is ESPN convinced that this guy remotely popular? I’m hoping Jay gets sent back to Detroit as soon as the Sun Times is sold.
Dave B, the rumor is the Cubs have a deadline of when Maddux can come to the team. You can ask Hendry that if Maddux hasn’t signed with anybody by then…
It’s not going to be up today, but I’m going to have an article talking about Illinois’ chances of making the NCAA tournament coming either tomorrow or Wednesday. Basically, several road wins are involved.
That is all I’ve got for now…
Hey, did anyone notice my band’s song playing when Charlize won her award? It felt like 1983 all over again!
Sounds like the Maddux "deadline" is next Monday, according to The Score. They’re also saying that Maddux wants to sign with the Cubs, but is allowing his agent to to his job. Maybe I can buy Hendry a beer if they’ve signed him by then.
Speaking of The Score, WMVP beat the North/Buffone combo in the latest Arbitron ratings. These guys are about the least entertaining program on the station, which is sad when you consider that J Hood has his own show, and Fred Huebner needs to go referee soccer in the suburbs.
I are real dumb too
Dave, I saw that stuff about North and Buffone losing to MVP in the ratings last quarter, and while I think the North show is brutal (I think Buffone does a decent job when paired with the fill in co-hosts), the people who are reporting on the ratings are declaring this a victory for the Mac, Jurko & Harry show, they leave out that during most of October, the North show was going against the baseball playoffs on MVP. Frankly I’d like to see the North show get beat again this quarter and North get fired, but that’s probably not likely. Here’s hoping though.
I’m on the highest rated sports show in Chicago!
Honestly, if you had to rank the daily shows, what would it look like?
1. Sports Central with Kap and Waddle (best guests, Waddle’s funny and you can’t beat the calls they get from 80 year old Cubs fans who are begging for a title before they die.)
2. Boers and Bernstein (Bernstein’s too whiny and Boers just gets pissed a lot, but this show is at least listenable.)
3. J. Hood (steals liberally from Desipio)
4. Jurko, Hairy and Zubaz Dan (McNeil is just brutal and always has been)
5. Fred and Murph (Murph talking about anything but baseball is horrendous and even when he talks about baseball he’s a dope)
6. Julie Sweica (she knows almost nothing about baseball that she doesn’t read in Sports Weekly–it’s sad, plus she has lumps on her head from Paul Konerko’s headboard)
7. Mariotti (no one should ever listen)
God, what a mess.
The Mike North era is about to end at WSCR, I think. I only get to listen to his show occasionally.
But it’s on a sports station, and just about the last thing they talk about is sports! Dogs and gambling seem to get the first-rate attention on that show most of the time. Yeesh… Boers and Bernstein are the most listenable in my opinion, although I think SportsCentral is right behind them. Again, I don’t listen to these as much as I want (should). But WDWS SportsTalk down here in Champaign is surprising, I like it much better than the Chicago shows because it is slower and definitely always more upbeat. Enough about that though…
I just did my part to continue the ratings losses for Pappy and Uncle Fuzzy by turning over to the Dan Patrick Show. Boers and Bernsie are the only people I can put up with on The Score.
BC,
I come and go with liking the shows on WDWS. Saturday Sportsline is ok sometimes, depending on what they are talking about, but they really need to jettison the Grumpy Old Man, Loren Tate.
The weekday show, Sportstalk, can be ok sometimes, but I think they are a little too slow and too upbeat. I understand that they aren’t going to tear into the U of I sports because that isn’t their style, but they let Turner and the football team off way too easy this year.
Plus, there is just way too many times where they don’t know what they are talking about and just don’t seem knowledgeable enough about sports to have a talk show. Nobody on the station knows much about baseball, which is surprising since Brian Barnhart used to do play-by-play for the Anaheim Angels.
That ends this edition of "Bitching About the Media in Champaign, Illinois."
am i still on?
Bring back the Sports Puddle!
Hey, shut the f**k up! Let he who hasn’t gone hoggin’ cast the first stone…
That name sounds alot like mine.
Peggy, YOU gotta face for radio! If I were you, I would be praying every night for the resurrection of the Sports Puddle. Of course, if I were you, I’d walk backwards, and teach my butt how to chew bubble gum.
Other than Boers & Bernstein, the only decent lineups are on the weekends. Rosenbloom & Baum, Me & Z and on MVP, Marc Silverman and Carmen Difalco are all pretty good shows. I also like J. Hood better when he is paired up with Steve Silverman. The things these guys have in common are most of them are younger (with the exception of Rosey and Baum) and other than Hood are on only on weekends (or only sporadically during the week) you don’t as sick of them spewing the same crap everyday. Maybe SCR should wake up and give some of the new blood a chance.
I think they should have Rosenbloom on full-time. Personally, I’d like to see him on in the mornings, but putting him before B&B would be an awful lot of smart-ass to take for some people. Rosey is respectful to his callers, but if I were him I’d kill that Dave Baum. He adds NOTHING to that Saturday morning show except aggravation.
The Boers and Bernstein show is interesting. It is funny for the most part, but they have callers so scared and intimidated that it’s almost pathetic. Callers try to be funny, but they sound so nervous that they end up being bad. Everyone seems afraid of being made fun of, cut off, or yelled at for having a differing opinion. Still, all in all, it is the best show on The Score.
As for North, doesn’t he make over a million a year?
And finally, how many more male potency, strip club, or whorehouse commercials can The Score run?
Doesn’t anybody like my show on the weekends with Jim Memolo?
Sure, I suck and know nothing about anything but football. Actually I don’t know anything about football, but Memolo’s not that bad.
Man, Chicago radio sucks ass.
I think you’re forgetting the commericals for on-line oddsmakers and 900 number bookies.
And the home of ME, Da Coach, Mike Dikka!
Even I can’t pronounce my own name anymore!
Well, if we are going to bitch about the media in Champaign we need to start with WICD-TV. Try telling these people they are in 2004 and not 1984. The set and graphics are just terrible. Plus the fact nobody there seems to do a good job (Andrew Miller in sports does all right but he isn’t great at it), and it really is disappointing to watch as a journalism student. No wonder WCIA has the MUCH better reputation.
The WDWS weekday show is a little too positive some of the time. I wish they would talk about the pros a little more but that isn’t really their "wheelhouse" area so I don’t really go negative on them for that. What I will go negative on them (The weekday show) for is going with small talk for the first 10 minutes of the show. It’s a sports show, not a who is out sick or who is on vacation show people! Now, with the Saturday show, you are right Tate is way too negative (or is it frumpy?) most of the time. Unfortunately I don’t catch that as much as the weekday show, so I can’t criticize or lay claim to supporting it as much as the weekday show.
You would think that a guy who starred in the epic masterpiece "The Fish Who Saved Pittsburgh" would do a more quality home porn tape than this.
Hey look, I said Houston is better than the Cubs!
That’s OK Rob,
I think they’re both good!
But the Rockies are still my sleeper!
I like this nugget from Neyer:"Of course, I’m simplifying for the sake of my argument."
I’d like to go on record as saying that the Earth is flat. Of course I’m discounting the last 2000 years of history for the sake of my arguement.
Great, so you can win games 10-2. But if you can’t win the 5-3 games, then you’re not going to the World Series.
I do too suck!
Allow me to oversimplify for Rob’s point.
The 2003 Astros should have been about 10 games better than the ’03 Cubs. So if Rob says that the ’04 Astros should be five games better than the ’04 Cubs, then the Cubs will win the division by two games instead of one.
How’s that?
As for Phil he listed the Giants as a sleeper. They had the second best record in the NL last year. Way to go out on a limb there, Philly.
I also said the Rangers have to "wait until 2010"!
But this other column ranks the boys in Arlington 13th in offseason moves.
So now I’m confused.
But at least I got this little tidbit out of this fine piece of journalism: "Let’s go Mets!"
Also, is that column saying the Orioles are going to win the AL East?
But I said, "It doesn’t look good"
Uh oh!
"Try Again" Phil!
I don’t know how any of you didn’t catch this, but according to Rob Neyer, Dusty Baker managed the Giants in 2003. Which, as we all know, didn’t happen.
Good job Rob!
I just meant in 2003 he managed like he was managing the Giants.
Does that make sense?
I think I just played a $5.75 million dollar game of basketball!
Drew Henson and his 28 errors and 122 K’s would be a fine replacement!
122 K’s and 32 walks is a fine K/BB ratio!
Hey, not only did the Golden Globes pump "Don’t Stop Believin’" when Charlize won, but she also thanked Steve Perry during her acceptance speech. This is my kinda gal!
Hey, Deano, I didn’t hear any Wyclef that night. The Hollywood Foreign Press knows what’s up. Yeeeeagh, indeed!
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