The best part of yesterday’s game was the tirade Maddux went on in the dugout after he gave up the two-run homer to Nick Johnson. He was very obviously mocking the groundscrew and doing a dumbguy voice, then you could read his lips as he said “motherf@#$er.” After the game he refused to blame the groundscrew, but we saw how he really felt.
More pearls of wisdom from Carlos, who wouldn’t admit he had an arm injury if his arm were lopped off. “It’s only a flesh wound!”
Groucho with a look at who’s emerged in good and bad ways in the playoffs.
Just another reason why independent league baseball isn’t real baseball.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut for more of his usual simplistic bullshit. This is almost as dumb as Ryan Dempster blaming Carlos’ sore arm on being a switch hitter.
Ryan Dempster doesn’t want to start and Kerry Wood doesn’t want to close.
We’ve probably seen the last of Jeff Bagwell. Hey, maybe the Beege can move to first base. He’s actually got the range to play there. None.
Looks like the Ligue’s have family in Oakland.
Peter Gammons has given up on the Cubs. Now what will they do?
Dave Chappelle has run off to South Africa? Huh?
Good news Arrested Development fans (and there really ought to be more of us), they’re back for a third season.
Also, despite horrific ratings for the last three episodes, NBC is bringing back “The Office” next year. Which is also good news because Michael and Dwight are two of the funniest guys on TV, anyplace.
America’s finest news source on the new Iraqi government.
How about Lacey Chabert?
“…Wood is on the disabled list with a bizarre bruise of the rotator cuff, something few doctors have ever seen.”
Great. Now we’re creating new injuries. When Tommy John Disease isn’t enough, come play for the Cubs. We’ll F your arm up real good.
Maybe if I just stay quiet, I’ll continue to get a free pass.
Hey Rothschild,
Ride a motorcycle and drink a bunch of beer. That way you’ll get noticed.
It only took me ONE year to get canned for being totally incompetent. You’re what–in your FOURTH season? Wow. Good work, stealth.
Maybe she was conceived while watching me.
Maybe Bob’s a Caddyshack fan?
I’m back from a nice couple days in the Windy City? I come back to find out that some wise individual set up a blog page just to post my Baker Bashings at http://www.bakerbasher.blogspot.com. How nice is this? I commend this person for such effort. I encourage all to explore this impressive sight.
But anyway, last Wednesday’s game against the Mets was another torture game. Not only were the Cubs up to their 9th inning tricks again, but it was fucking freezing out there with those 15 mph winds. I even went to the souvenir stand to get me a Cubs sock hat. Only if they sold stadium pals there as well I wouldn’t have had to make a trip to the bathroom after every other inning- those Old Styles were going down slow but coming out quickly. I wasn’t disappointed seeing the trio of Macias, Hairtson Jr, and Blanco go down 1-2-3 either while warming up in the bathroom.
We were treated with Dumpster blowing it in the 9th, but got to see Mr. Team Cub DLee win it in the 10th with his bomb. What a way to finish the game though!
Our seats in section 425 were great, but we did get down behind the Mets dugout where I got in a few jabs at Sarge. I wasn’t the only one yelling at that dumb son of a bitch. Fagboy Piazza got some ear music as well.
But on Thursday night I got introduced to the treatment at U.S. Stingular Field when you wear Cubs apparel. I mean I wore one of those blue Cubs team jackets that stand out like soar thumb. Those White Sux fans were letting me have it with there blue collar comments and what looked like was coming from white trash itself. Instead of White Sox they ought to call them White Trash. Our seats there were in the outfield on the right field side. Of course, the Gladiator was on the DL, I got to heckle Steve Fat Kline in the bullpen. Steve seemed to like my jeering about the middle finger to Larussa joking though. Last but not least we did get on the jumbotrone briefly and the Sux pulled it out in the 9th to win 3-2. That really sucked.
The Cubs play the past two days is back to horrendous. They continue to play like they are in Barnum and Bailey’s Circus. Dusty is the ringmaster from hell.
The following week is vastly important. The schedule is weak besides the White Trash and they need to sweep somebody, even the Pirates in a two game series. If not, we just continue to Bash Baker and the rest of his assclowns.
FDF=Fuck Dusty Forever
Baker Basher
I don’t think anyone was conceived watching Lacy Underall as her finest moments are best experienced alone. Can you guys read this?
Can’t wait for the development of “Kerry Wood Surgery”.
Baker Basher, Perhaps you’d be best to set up a blog of your own if someone can do it that easily. Or maybe if you ask nicely, you’ll be able to post your ravings on there and not trouble us with your soliloquys.
CT:
They have that already.
Dr. Kevorkian is the pioneer.
Dumbass Du Jor? Dudes, I’m from Canada, are you surprised I won the award? I’m lucky I don’t get it every time.
put me in coach, I’m ready to play, *clap*, *clap*, today…
we play in comiskey park
We own the boys from Chicago: Redskins vs. Bears, Wiz vs. Bulls, Nats vs. Cubs. When do we get to play the Sux?
Well we did snap that non-streak of a streak yesterday. We’re Washington-area, aren’t we?
I think so.
Yeah look at all those banners hangin up in our rafters.
Yeah, us too.
Not only am I a shit city full of arrogant pricks. But my teams and their so called fans are even worse. Really, I am nice to visit for your 8th grade trip, but you don’t wanna spend long amounts of time here. I suck.
Go Caps!!!
Remember me? I won three Super Bowls. How many have the Bears won?
We may not have as many Super Bowls, but we have more championships overall.
Hell, we have more world series than the senators and the nats/expos do combined.
I don’t need to tell you about us.
Seriously, when am I going to be imploded?…If you were among the 40,000 or so Cub fans that visited me this weekend, you no doubt asked yourself that…Also, if you want concessions, and by that I mean “food” or “food equivalents,” you’re better off stealing from the bums in the Metro…if you give them $6 for their warm beer, you can replicate an experience with our vendors…
Near the main entrance is RFK’s only redeeming quality. That place is awful, and the idiots around Washington talk about it like its a shrine, not an open air Olympic Stadium, which it is. I have been to both many times, and I would much rather go back to Olympic Stadium any day. Even if the place has the same feel, as the Knoxville World’s Fair does on that episode of the Simpsons.
The Caps have never even won a title, even we have done that.
We dominate all!…in um, soccer…grrrr!!!, sigh.
I am no longer a giant, 1950’s code breaker style computer. I am a streamlined, flat screen HDTV. Am I still on every sunday in Chicago?
I’m gone in three years.
Why can’t DC United play at the Redskins’ new stadium? That boondoggle only hosts 10 football games per year.
We haven’t won squat in 80 years. Is that good?
We may be arrogant, but we’re well paid. Our metropolitan per capita income is higher. We haven’t had a team in 34 years, and we STILL have as many WS titles as the Cubs. We got rid of our crack addict mayor, and now we have a wonk (which is better than a Sux-loving moron ike Richie Daley). Plus Steve Bartman doesn’t live HERE.Wheee!!!
Nothing beats Detroit, we’re tough here, man
Honesty compels me to say, cub fans, that the best city in old U. S. of A. is none
other than Hotlanta. Second place would go to Houston, Texas, home of The Beege, folks.
It’s 97 years, genius.
Man, we are bad.
We are no longer funny. Nor are the Beeg references. Nor are the “honesty compels me…” intro’s, nor are the Hotlanta shoutouts. We are tired. We are useless. We are yesterday’s news. We should be put out to pasture with the Howard Dean jokes. Both of us are so 2004.
Baltimore sucks, but they haven’t tired of my act yet.
Bears open at Washington, we’ll see if the Redskins are as tough as they think they are
Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you all miss us…when can we come back, Andy? We may be the only thing left to keep you all visiting after Memorial Day…
If you’re talking visibility, there’ no better option than Arizona.
If you’re pressing me, folks, after Hotlanta and Houston, the third best city in the land has to be Orlando, Florida, home of my imaginary family.
Arbys!
You are right I am higher here, because everyone here is from somewhere else. The DC area is a very transient area. All of us new people came in, paid a ton for our houses, which made the people who lived here before wealthy. Those people, then moved farther out and built nice houses, which are now selling for twice what they paid to have them built. Yes our real estate market is through the roof, and there are tons of good white collar jobs here…but I would still trade it all for a Johnnies beef, maybe even a pepper and egg.
They don’t use us in Virginia.
I wear nifty bow ties, and could be partially retarded…and I am still better than that socialist, dirty, sox loving sleazeball Daley.
I’m having a lot of trouble with this “salary cap” stuff and this “free agent” nonsense I didn´t have to deal with 20 years ago.
We are extremely humorous and should be used wherever possible, whenever possible.
That other guy was Chippy himself. Don’t listen.
Don’t worry Joe, we are your high priced trucks that sell like hotcakes in VA.
Trust me, folks. Washington sucks.
Has anybody here…seen my old friend Beege?
I know Dolan seemed to like the job Dan Plesac did on friday. However, was it just me or did he seem to NEVER shut up! When Ramirez hit his homer, this guy was rambling on about some pitching crap while the ball traveled out of the park. A home run call would have been nice there instead. I finally switched to the radio. I hope he doesnt do any more games this year. Its bad enough to have to listen to him on the post game report.
Folks, Joe Theismann here, and take it from me, one of the NFL’s all-time greats (and pay no attention to those who say I was overrated in the NFL, but I may be a CFL all-time great): Washington fans are great, RFK Stadium is a shrine, Jim McMahon’s a doofus, I love to punt the ball one yard, and my greatest highlight from the 1985 season wasn’t that magnificent punt at Soldier Field in front of the world’s worst fans. It was this hit by a coked-up Lawrence Taylor on the RFK Stadium turf:
Hey, who’s saying I’m a socialist, sox-loving sleazeball? I root for the Cubs. Who says I don’t root for the Cubs? I’m da mayr uv dis town, i root for da teams here.
See, that’s photographic proof I’m not a socialist, sox-loving sleazeball. I’m a socialist Cubs-loving sleazeball who’s gonna get indicted soon by our Mets-loving US District Attorney.
I must keel Carlos Zambrano, if he insists on using me this weekend.
can you hear me crack, snap & pop?
I was just on PTI and I said Z’s mri came out negative, and that he will pitch against the Sox.
Oh? So it wasn’t a good idea to just tear open my elbow and grab all the goop in it? Shit!
whta will happen to garland when he comes to bat this weekend?
to a White Sox fan means 2 Mexicans call over 2 of their friends to continue beating on the fat, piece of white trash who kicked their kid. I love baseball.
I’ll strike out, but look real tough doing it.
I love e-mail.
Just a question: this is what our crystal ball shows. Robin Ventura plays the White Sox player and Nolan Ryan the stud right-handed pitcher in this scenario.
Tomorrow, May 17 is Kids Night at the Ballpark. The first 10,000 kids will receive a free gift.
I love it when you analyze.
And tonight we are interactve! So a big thanks to all you e-mailers. E-mailers…yes!
And as we select our picks to click, you at home select yours.
Hawk: Lou Frazier
DJ: Lyle Mouton
Jim Angio: Jose Valentin
Crew: Pablo Ozuna
YES!
Honesty compels me to say that the division leader braves will play tonight in beautiful and sunny san diego, california.
Folks, it’s going to be a tremendous ball game.
but this Sox team might be destined to win. They have gotten more cheap hits, production from shit players, bounces and calls to go their way than any team I have seen in a while. Iguchi literally just stuck his bat out and hit an opposite field homer…unfuckingbelievable. I know the AL pitching is depleted as usual, and Hermanson etc. are pitching better than they ever have before, but seriously. Maybe they are the 01′ Cubs, maybe they are not, but I can’t take much more of this shit.
I despise the Sox, but one guy they have I wish was on my team is Iguchi. There were some (including moi) that noticed his posting this offseason from Japan and hoped the Cubs would consider him instead of going back to Walker. I don’t dislike Walker, but Iguchi had better upside for cheaper dollars, and he is playing just as expected based on his Japan numbers. Good for him.
Now, as a realist, I can point out that Sox fans need to prepare for the inevitable: Dustin Hermanson, are you kidding me? Put an asterisk after Dustin!, like Neifi!, and you have an idea how long that charade will last. Just ask the folks in Frisco. As for Garland and Buerhle, come on….that can’t last. And El Duque is always inches away from the DL.
Twins will eventually catch the Trailer Sox, no doubt about it.
I’m starting to get worried, after all, if there’s one thing Cub fans know, it’s how to pick a loser.
And if Baker Basher getting his feelings hurt at Comiskey is your proof that Sox fans are white trash…well, judging by how this site feels about him, I’d say there’s at least one more thing that Cubs and Sox fans can agree on.
Did your “soar thumb” get better? And, trust me, no one at Comiskey put you on a “jumbotrone”. “There” too busy to zero in on Cubs idiots in the right field stands. The cameras that are on fans are located by the dugouts, so take your fantasies back to your blog.
Dude, where’s Karry Ling? Where’s the Front Office. Have I missed the latest because I’m a moran?
Still not funny. Trying to convince people otherwise makes them unfunnier.
Should anyone from me be complaining of white trash?
You are right, we do know how to pick a loser. It gets old hearing Sox fans talk like they win the World Series every year. You’re in the same boat as us, it’s time to come to that realization. You guys have obviously picked right this year, judging by attendance. I mean, yes a tuesday day game might not sell out, but a weekend series against the O’s, and tons of empties… come on.
The only way Jon Garland will bat this weekend is if that idiot Guillen sends him up to pinch-hit. He is not scheduled to pitch in the Cubs/Sux series, so it would take two rainouts over the next two nights for him to be pushed back.
Has anybody here…seen my old friend Beege?
I record big save last night, you guys want me?
We rely on a major fascination with a departed hack broadcaster. We’d be funny if we were relevant and didn’t belie a major man-crush on bushy eyebrows and a DJ voice.
The Chip jokes must mask a deep-seated manifestation of mad-on Chip love. Try switching from the unfunny Chip jokes to Chip mash notes. Clearly, it’s where the hard-on is pointing.
Honesty compels me to agree with you my friend. Sometimes the folks’ love for me gets a little out of hand, oh here comes my lovely imaginary wife Susan, and my daughter Summerland as well. Things in Orlando are just great, thanks for caring gang.
Too early to enquire about the visibility, Chippy?
When do we take our rightful place along side such time-honored knee slappers as “First Post!” and “Baba Booey!” Those never tire, much like the fressssh Chip Caray Jokes.
Thanks to the constant efforts of weak attempts at us, many are likely pausing their reading to reach for something to daub their watering eyes due to the uncontrollable guffaws generated by us.
Find some new board to troll with your hackneyed comedy stylings. Take your Chip love over to Braves Nation.
I can feel the love, it is almost as strong as my love for the Beege!
We’re always funny because being gay is so darned funny. Hee-hee, Chip Caray and Craig Biggio like to have butt sex! Hee hee! That is _SO_ funny. When gay is introduced to Chip Jokes, the hilarity goes through the roof! Now how about some Jew jokes? And maybe a few nigger jokes?
Chip jokes are old and crippled like Admiral Stockton. Remember him? He was so old and stupid and clueless. That was funny. In 1992.
Stop sullying my memory by bringing up that cunt stain of a grandson of mine, OK??
I sense some anger buddy, would your hook-nosed beanie wearing heeb ass like a nice massage?
God dammit! Leave me out of this.
Make the Harry Caray statue cry.
And that makes tons of people show up with their cellphone cameras to take pictures of it and place Bud cans at his feet.
And then the media shows up.
And then the statue gets police tape and construction cones put up around it.
And then Joe Buck defaces it with “Big Drunk” spray painted on the base.
Ummm, who am I? Why am I here?
My name’s Stockdale, by the way.
Don’t you fuckers even think about it.
Play this site, really appreciate it.
Nice website