The first shipment of the soon-to-be bestseller “Oops, They Did It Again — The 2003 Chicago Cubs” has hit the pavement…or the homes…or whatever and I’m happy to report that the book does not suck. In fact, even though I wrote it, I found myself turning the pages last night, laughing uproariously and generally luxuriating in the fine piece of literature that it is.
Or something.
You see, even though I wrote it, I hadn’t actually seen a copy of it until last night, and if I do say so my damn self, it’s not bad. It’s certainly worth the $18.95 price tag. In fact, it’s just as nice at twice the price.
One handy tip. When you get the book, it’s spiral bound, pinch the spiral binding closed all the way up and down. That’ll save you from having the last page fall in your lap while you’re reading it.
Besides, you don’t want to give away the ending.
Oh, wait. We know how it ends.
There is no table of contents, but if you’re looking for any column in particular it’s pretty easy to find, since the book is written in sequence from the Cubs Convention to spring training to opening day to the heady early days in first place to the slump to third place to the horrible days of Lenny Harris and Mark Bellhorn (wait, those were pretty much all spring) to the Yankees series to the White Sox serieses (serieses?) to the Pittsburgh trades to the huge showdown with the Evil Satanic Fowl to that chaotic up and down September to that happy day at home against the Pirates to the playoffs. Even this guy (page 155) can figure that out.
There is a photo in the book that it is in there because I simply forgot to take it out. It’s of my longtime girlfriend Campbell Brown and she makes an appearance during the opening day GameCast.
I can’t wait to get the letter from the NBC lawyers.
OK, that’s enough blatant book promotion for now. Although, Karry Ling wants me to sit down and do a Desipio Interview with him about it in the next day or two. So you might get one more pre-Christmas barrage.
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Sunday is the biggest Bears game since the playoff game against the Eagles in January 2002, and so guess what? We’re going to GameCast the bad boy. So if you’re near a computer on Sunday, stop on by and join in on the mayhem. It’ll either be a lot of fun mocking Hillybilly Brett and the reeling Packers, or it’ll be fun mocking the Packers fans, or both.
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It’s pretty obvious to me at least that the Raptors are referring to the big trade as the Donyell Marshall-Antonio Davis trade, not the Jalen Rose-Antonio Davis trade. You just know that Donyell was the target and Jalen’s salary had to be included to make it work for both teams. Just because Donyell has scored 48 points in two games and Jalen is standing outside the arc with his thumb up his hiney is telling, isn’t it?
I’m not saying Donyell is a star. He’s not. But he’s the biggest beneficiary of the deal and the biggest benefit to the Raptors. Not our pal Jalen, the erstwhile scorer.
In other big trade news the Grizz picked up Bonzi Wells for Wesley Person and a number one draft pick. I’m going to break this one down for you as only Desipio is equipped to do it.
The Blazers made this trade because Bonzi Wells is clinically insane.
See, you won’t get analysis like that anywhere else. Will you?
Bonzi can flat out play. (I love the “flat outs.”) He can post any guard up, he can slash to the hoop, he doesn’t play any defense and his jumper comes and goes like a syphillitic drifter, but he can play.
Wesley Person gives the Blazers a jump shooter, but really they only traded for him because he’s not Bonzi.
Next out the door? Basketball’s version of Mr. Operation Shutdown Derek Bell, Rasheed Wallace, or Rasheed “CTC-Cut the check” Wallace.
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I caught a little of the Michigan State-Duke game last night and I had to turn it off when I began to projectile vomit. Remember how bad Michigan State was last year in that game in Champaign when the Illini held them to FORTY points? They were acutally worse last night.
How in the hell did Tom Izzo go a second straight year without recruiting a player who can make a ten foot jumper? Yikes.
It was kind of cute when Kansas and MSU played and every basket had to be made from six feet or in, but last night was humiliating. If I actually liked MSU I wouldn’t have enjoyed it at all. Oh, well. It looks like it’s Badgers-Illini for the crown again this year.
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The Sun-Times has come up with a scenario in which the mighty fighting Huskies of NIU can make a bowl game. They claim that if Bowling Green loses to Miami of Ohio and finishes the season 10-3, that the Motor City Bowl will invite NIU instead of Bowling Green (which is their prerogative) to set up a Northwestern-NIU game. I don’t know what the odds of this happening are, but if I’m Northwestern, I don’t want it to happen. It’s one thing to lose to a MAC school in a bowl game, it’s another to lose to one about an hour and two interstates away. Muahahahahahahahaha!
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Bryan Robinson will not be charged with sexual assault of another man. How nice for him.
LaTroy gets more cash if he’s LaCloser, but for now he’s happy to set up Regular Joe.
Chuck Wasserstrom is free of the wrath of the evil Sharon Panozzo.
Eddie Robinson might actually get some consistent playing time now. What a shock!
Lacy J. Banks breaks the “who cares” story of the day.
SHOOTING GUARD Jamal Crawford is pumped about tonight’s TNT matchup with the Sixers.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to say that the Bears have to stop Brett Favre. What insight!
Underwhelming Terry Francona will get the Red Sox job, finally.
The Wizard of Roz says Larry Fitzgerald should get the Heisman. Can a guy named Larry be the best football player in the country?
Jayson Stark is reporting that the Expos have traded Javier Vazquez to the Yankees for Nick Johnson (Sean Casey’s doppleganger) and Jungle Juan Rivera. Uh oh.
Sure, she was 12 then, but she’s 39 now!
Remember Brooks Barnard, the guy who outpunted Brad Maynard all through the preseason? He’s a Patriot now.
Does Mike Lupica ever have a point?
Looks like I finally knocked up Gwyneth. Sorry, Campbell.
Go to a Moscow theater…get mauled by a giant bear. Fun!
Wait, it’s illegal to secretly tape yourself having sex and then selling the tape on the Internet? Damn, there goes my retirement plan.
I’ll admit when I heard that German guy put an ad on the Internet asking to “eat somebody” I didn’t think it was like this.
America’s finest news source asks some men on the street what they think of the NFL testing for THG.
http://www.bash.org/?top2
Here is the quote database. Here you can find such chat logs as:
and
(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I’m sure
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let’s pretend I’m 20
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I’m dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both
(Lady Renegade) well……after I’m dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I’m dressed up, I’m bald and wearing boxers…sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ….
Even if Joe Novak and the boys manage to get invited to the Motor City Bowl, Northern Illinois would not beat Northwestern. And I’ll back that smack talk up with money, Andy.
I would not be surprised to see NU lose to Bowling Green though.
Here’s what all the kids in St. Louis want for Christmas this year:
![]("http://www.sportspickle.com/features/volume1/11132001-pujols.jpg"/)
Google search "miserable failure".
Heh heh.
test
failed
Ouch, that hurts.
I am a strange species, a Cubs fan and a Packers fan. I am sure there are quite a few of us, but I have seen mighty few. I am exposing myself to ridicule and mayhem here on this site to remind all Bears fans: at least the Pack are not owned by the McCaskey family. Even after the Brett Favre induced dominance of the Bears will end shortly, I will always have the pleasure of knowing that a complete MORAN like Mike McCaskey has nothing to do with running my team.
Spoken like a true Packer moran.
Stick it sideways, Victoria.
According to Boston Dirt Dogs (http://www.bostondirtdogs.com), the Cubs are signing Scott Sauerbeck. Dirt Dogs calls him Sauerwalk, although I would probably favor Sauer-boo just to rehash the old Todd Sauerbrun nickname.
ESPN.com’s "The Sports Guy" Bill Simmons said in an article a while back his father had taken to calling Sauerbeck "Sauer-suck".
But he would be another former Pirate on the team… ;-)
Sure, a bunch of McCaskeys own the Bears, and it’s a bad deal for Bears fans. But the Packers have it even worse. They’re owned by thousands of Wisconsinites!
Even better, Bud Selig is a Packers shareholder!
Can’t wait for that gamecast, Andy..
Meanwhile, where’re those pics we’ve been waiting for?
bg4a,
1. For Christ’s sake, Google is easy enough. You want a picture of Andy Dolan? I’ve never met him before, but here’s my best shot:
2. "We?" Who’s "we?" You? Most of us have been asking for more pictures of people we actually care to look at: Brooke Langton, Mandy Moore, Jill Arrington, even the chain-smoking Campbell Brown.
3. Here’s to a Bears win Sunday.
Gee, thanks TJ.
You just made it easier for anybody trying to serve me with a paternity suit.
It won’t be long now, Andy.
In your dreams, Andy.
Andy,
I’ve been reeding you’re collumms on baseball this year, and I can’t stand you. You have this "I hate you, I want to kill you attitude" that the Hewston Astrows fans don’t have. Their good guys, your like Pryor and Sowsa and Woods.
Now that I have a pictchur of you, I will hunt you down and sic Edmonds dogs on you.
Or Flynn Kile.
Daddy, is that you? Mommy says you two met at a Denny’s in Rockford, spent the night at a Super 8, but that you never talked to her again. Is that true? Please come home for Christmas…
*nude* pictures TJ
I’d expect something real good from someone that cocky, if you know what I mean
love,
bg4a
bg,
I think I speak for 99 percent of Andy’s readers when I say that if we’re going to have nude pics, that they should be of other people…
Like Karry Ling, of course.
That’s not the point, TJ
I was just wondering how far that sarchasm goes.
Could you imagine what someone who thrives on fun and doesn’t miss a chance to belittle anyone else could do with the person he knows best
Thank god, I thought it was this Andy Dolan… or even this one!
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. by free online poker