I’m not ashamed to say that I love the red assed White Sox general manager. Who else, just one season after both teams in Chicago proved you don’t need to use a high priced closer would offer up his best player to the Anaheim Angels in exchange for a chronically injured closer, or a former Nebraska punter?
Kenny, as long as you want the job as GM of the AAAA White Sox, I’ve got your back.
You simp.
Phil Rogers is reporting in today’s Chicago Tribune (which makes it untrue, unfortunately–Rogers hasn’t gotten a scoop since his days working at a Killeen, Texas Baskin Robbins) that the Sox are talking with the Anaheim Angels about a trade that would send Magglio Ordonez (and his oversized face) to the Angels for either Troy Percival (ouch, my labrum!) or Darin Erstad (If I’m so tough, how come I’m always hurt?).
This is genius, Kenny. Pure genius. You exercise a $5 million option on a completely overrated shortstop and now you need to cut payroll, so you just trade your best player! Excuse me, I’m going to call the engraver and have him get the 2004 Executive of the Year award ready.
What’s next, you’re going to let Ozzie Guillen hire his former Muppet second base partner Joey Cora to coach third base?
Oops.
On the bag! On the bag!
Wait a minute, how tall is Cora? Five-six, maybe 5’7? The Cubs have 5’3 Wendell Kim as their third base coach. I think for the Cubs-Sox games this year, both teams should allow their third base coach to sit on the shoulders of the other guy when their team is at bat so the players can actually see them for once. Woof.
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You may have noticed that Milt Palacio has made his way onto our main page. I don’t think I need to explain why. He’s Milt Palacio after all.
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Jim Edmonds is being shopped around by the Cardinals and two different articles about potential trades have shocking accusations about Jimbo.
The first, in the Los Angeles Times says, In addition to having concerns about Edmonds’ age and contract, officials said, the Dodgers are leery about his reputation of being a clubhouse problem.
Who, Jim? Nah, he’s a great guy. Just ask Fernando Vina. Remember in the 2002 NLCS when Edmonds hit a blooper to right and Vina didn’t score from second on it, and Edmonds was at first base screaming at Fernando? That’s leadership.
We don’t need to get into the Edgar Renteria shower incident. But come on, if Jim wasn’t a great guy, would he have carried Edgar’s naked body into the trainer’s room for treatment? Of course not.
The other, in today’s St. Louis Post-Dispatch says that Edmonds apparently thinks the Cardinals might move to a new city. Why else would his agent have said, “He loves his time in St. Louis and he believes the Cardinals can win a World Series there.”
Where else would the St. Louis Cardinals win a World Series? San Juan? Monterrey? Montreal? It’ll be a shame really, when the Cardinals move. What will their fans do for fun in the summer? You can only have so many “Pump Kin” festivals, after all.
Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in St. Louis? It had to be, otherwise it’d be called a teethbrush.
Oh, I’ve got a million of them.
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The Rangers are denying that they are looking to trade Alex Rodriguez. Wait, you mean to tell me that a sportswriter sat around and just dreamed up a three-way trade and then printed it? They do that? Nah. Never.
Jayson Blair’s newspaper reports that A-Rod is indeed available.
The Daily News is reporting that not only have the Diamondbacks and Yankees talked about a Curt Schilling trade but that Jerry Colangelo has been talking about who he wants to get in return. Who is it, Enrique Cruz and Jeff Weaver?
Scott Boras is trying to convince the Phillies to re-sign Kevin Millwood. I’d pass on him just because Scott Boras is his agent.
The Orioles aren’t sure they should ever give a player $15 million a year. Hey, aren’t they still paying Albert Belle? Muahahahahahaha.
Dan Evans isn’t going to let anything like his inevitable firing slow him down. No sir.
One line here about the Cubs going after AJ Pierzynski. What’s to research. Everybody knows he’s a good catcher a really good hitter and a complete, grade-A jackass who most of his teammates hate. What’s not to like? He’ll be like our very own Jim Edmonds. Except without the four legged “friends.”
The Marlins offered huge contracts to Mike Lowell and Luis Castillo. They offered Castillo a $30 million dollar a deal. It’s ten dollars a year for three million years. I think he’ll go for it.
Ugy wants a lot of money that he’s not going to get.
Flash might be heading to Canada, eh.
Here’s Phil on the Magglio Ordonez “trade.” Even for the Sox, this is throwing bad money after worse.
Kirk Hinrich is “upbeat.” Whee!
I’d like to buy the Steve Bartman ball and then find him and beat him senseless with it.
Have you ever seen a spleen that big?
Not since breakfast.
Sammy’s big birthday party is coming up. I’ll be jetting down with John Cusack. We have to take Jeremy Piven though, because Jeremy can’t kiss John’s ass through the phone. By the way, I loved this poor writing, “Among other celebrities expected to attend are Donald Trump, actor John Cusack, Cubs President and CEO Andy MacPhail and other Latin American personalities.” It was the last part.
…Cubs President and CEO Andy MacPhail and other Latin American personalities.” I had no idea Andy was so big in Latin America!
Mariotti puts down the doughnut for another hack job and look at the cute way he uses the superflous capital ‘s.” DumbaSs.
Rap says the NFL wants ESPN to dump Playmakers. I’ve got news for them, they already hammered every dumb football cliche to death in one season. They’ve got nothing left.
Vince Coleman will be the Cubs new baserunning coach. Or as intrepid reader TJ Brownput it, “The Cubs have hired him as a roving instructor (and maybe pyrotechnics director and head groundskeeper in charge of tarp operations). I don’t care if he wants to be a frosty malt vendor, this has to be vigorously opposed just on principle.”
The Wizard of Roz starts with boring hockey stuff but says there’s a rumor the Cubs might trade Juan Cruz and two prospects for Jose Vidro. Yeah, I heard that rumor, too. LAST November.
Jeff Van Gundy has the looks and the better team. Poor Stan.
The Toronto Sun, which is just making crap up (they made up a Steve Nash trade the other day) says that over the summer the Blazers agreed to trade Rasheed Wallace and Bonzi Wells to the Raptors for Mo Peterson and Antonio Davis. Then, the Blazers realized that they were getting scuh-rewed.
The Toronto Star thinks Jamal Crawford is available. Oh, shut up. Stupid freakin’ Canucks or Habs or whatever the hell Canadians are. You’re lucky we even let you have a team! Go away.
Oh, wait. I’m sorry Milt.
I think I speak for us all when I say, “Wow, Art Carney wasn’t dead already?”
The Jessica Lynch book didn’t go over well the first day. I think it’s because the crayons come seperately.
John Kerry is just so dumb. Did you see him ride the motorcycle onto Jay Leno’s set? You know how he could get elected? He could run over Jay Leno. I’d vote for him, then.
Emperor Palpatine sings “Oklahoma.” Yikes.
Oh, to have been her babysitter.
A gay Austrailian won’t go to jail for performing oral sex on a sleeping straight man. Doesn’t anybody shake hands anymore?
Christian Slater’s wife got to do something millions of us have wanted to do for a long time. She punched him out.
America’s finest news source on a man who’s mom found his Blog.
Andy, thank you for standing up and threatening to beat Bartman senseless. I’m not going to get into any diatribe and vitriol against this goof, but the do-gooders who think he should be "forgiven and forgotten" are slowly gaining the upper hand in this debate. My stance is that Cub fans should just let him go away, but the second this nerd gets any profit or further recognition, then the gloves come off. He’d better NEVER throw out a first pitch or be recognized by the Cubs for anything. So far, he seems to get it that people aren’t real happy with him and he has spurned opportunities to take advantage of it. Let’s hope he keeps it that way.
Just Gleaming the Cube, baby.
We don’t really want to trade Jim, but we think this is the year that J.D. Drew will come into his own and replace Jim as our oft injured, overrated, cry baby, primadonna outfielder. The only thing he doesn’t do yet that Jim does is molest puppies. We are working on that, though, and JD will room with Edgar Rentaria during spring training.
As you can see, I am keeping my word and attempting to hold the Marlin Dynasty together. Do not worry, people of Florida. Just fork over the tax dollars for a new stadium. Baseball owners NEVER lie. After all, our own Commissioner promised the Wisconsin counties that ponied up for Miller Park that the Brewers would field a competitive team if they had a new park. And now they are cutting their payroll to 30 million, which will make them extremely competitive when they officially become a Triple A ballclub in 2005.
These trade rumors are ludicrous. I’m not going anywhere. I love it here in Anaheim. The surf, the sun, the dog parks. It’s great.
Huh? How long have I been in St. Louis? Really? But they’re moving, right? I mean, St. Louis? Really?
Well, I’ve got to run. I have to take Bosco here to the vet. Seems his rectum is bleeding again.
Ta ta.
I’m on the cover of Rolling Stone pushing some sort of dirt picky upy thing.
I’m real smart, too. You can see it here.
Here’s my major beef with Bartman.
That he’s referred to as a "Cubs fan"
That’s bullshit. Baseball fan? Yeah, sure whatever. Any repressed twenty-six year old who spend his summers coaching little leaguers, none of whom are his OWN, probably likes baseball. Fine.
But a Cubs fan? No way. If you are a Cubs fan, and you had happened to be sitting in the front row during that game, this is what would be going through your head:
"Five outs away. Man, I can’t believe I’m here. I’m worried, though, Prior’s thrown a lot of pitches and he’s getting tired. Castillos’ battling him, too."
Ball is hit. "Oh here’s a popup. Stay in play, baby. Look out, it’s coming our way. Get out of the way!"
Eyes on Moises, eyes on the ball. Eyes on Moises, eyes on the ball.
"C’mon Moises. Here it comes…get back! GET BACK!. C’mon Moises…YES!!!! Atta boy, Moises….four outs to go."
But is that what Bartman did? No, of course not. And why not? Because he wasn’t a CUSB fan, He was some North Shore yuppie in an Abercrombie turtlneck enforcing the sterotype of Cubs fans as being ignorant frat boys who go to the park to be seen.
Cub fan? Not in a million years.
Let people call us crazy, that we’re obsessed and being unfair to this pudwhacker. Let them say we would have done the same thing. The truth is, a real Cubs fan would have done anything in his power to make sure that Moises got the 23rd out in the biggest game in 58 years.
A guy got Rosie off today. Or something.
Especially after watching the Boston Red Sox fans get out of the way of a Derek Jeter popup and letting Trot Nixon make a diffucult catch. Bartman deserves to be mocked at every opportunity. That man is no Cubs fan, that damn north shore yuppie. And F**K YOU to all the pollyannas who keep insisting that Bartman did nothing egregious and deserves sympathy. Just because there were other morons who were also going for the ball does not excuse Bartman. Like you said Mike, he should have been shouting to get the other people out of the way if he was a real Cubs fan.
Blame Bart Dude if you want, but the simple fact is that it’s part of the game – it happens. Don’t overlook Prior’s inexperience. As good as he was all year, a pitcher with a few more years under his belt shakes it off and gets tougher. Instead Prior threw the WP, hung an 0-2 slider to Pudge, got no help from Gonzo on a gound ball, and then put a fastball on a tee for Lee. Should Dusty have pulled him earlier? Probably. But if Dusty pulls him and the Jekyll and Hyde bullpen blows it, peole will say he should have kept his ace in. You can’t win – just like us Cub fans…
While much of what Gibbity says is true, the fact remains that Bartman prevented Alou from catching the ball. No one knows what transpires after that play, but Prior would have been pumped up instead of pissed off. It HAD to be a distraction to the whole team.
The bottom line is that no one should tell me or any other Cubs fan that we shouldn’t be pissed at this goof for what he did. No vendettas, no threats, no revenge, but no forgiveness, either.
The Bartman is not himself what cost us the Pennant. He is merely a symptom, a symbol, the human manifestation of the Curse.
Case in point: how many runs, directly, did his stupidity cause? None, it was a foul ball, repeat Strike 2. But, and here’s the key, you just KNEW, as did I, that everything was going to hell as soon as you saw Alou jumping around like an inmate whose fat meat was cold.
I knew it was over right there and then, and it was just a matter of how many runs it would be. Turned out to be 8.
C’mon Sloth. I work in a prison. Inmate and meat jokes aren’t funny!!!
Say what you’d like about Bartman: I agree that he shouldn’t have gone after the foul ball, and that Alou had the ball in his glove, and that the Cubs would have very likely gotten out of the 8th unscathed. And I was as pissed off at him initially as many of you are. And I don’t buy the crap Brennaman and Lyons tried peddling the next day about how horrible Cubs fans were for being so harsh. The two of them were criticizing the guy and showing him a million times during the whole episode.
But I truly think the guy knew it was a mistake when he did it and wishes he could fade into obscurity.
In fact, why have OF umps when they miss a call like that? Why does the ump get a free pass? Why don’t I even know his name (Answer, because I’m too lazy to check.) Bartman’s hand clearly extends over the bricks and into play. It’s fan interference, an out. Sorry Jack McKeon.
So I can’t be too mad at Bartman. By all accounts, he is a Cubs fan. Those were his season tickets. He had to give away his Game 7 tickets for fear of his life. No one goes to a game to be seen if they’re wearing a pair of headphones and a Niles Renegades sweatshirt.
Now, that lawyer (who only goes by Jim) is the genuine piece of dung. The ball bounces to him, he conceals his identity but now sells the thing for $5k or up. I hope no one bids, but it’ll probably go for 30 grand to someone with too much money on his hands. "Jim" is an attorney, which makes him evil enough. But then he spews some garbage that he wants to sell it to pay for his baby’s education?
You’re a lawyer, Jim. Go sue somebody. Don’t profit off of this, and claim it’s only for your daughter.
I don’t want to start any arguments over who is or isn’t a Cubs fan, but I’ve been to plenty of Cubs games and a lot of Cubs fans are North Shore yuppies. What happened can’t be changed and while I was pissed at the fan, I couldn’t believe the team would fall apart like that. The Cubs did not have an easy year, and had plenty of bad breaks during the season, during which they could’ve packed it in. It was very disappointing that they couldn’t hold it together after a blown fan interference call. So even if Alou makes the catch, who knows what would happen? I mean, somebody mentioned the Boston fans moving so Trot Nixon could make a catch…how’d the Red Sox do in the World Series?
Well, I’m a North Shore Cubs fan who was a frat guy in college, and I think I can count myself as a "real" Cubs fan. There are actually several of us. "North Shore Yuppie Cubs Fan" is about as redundant a phrase as "Illiterate Toothless Cardinals Fan," "Obnoxious, Overbearing and Surely Destined For Hell Yankees Fan," or "Ex-Convict, Trailer Park Dwelling, First Base Coach Beating, Bitter White Sox fan."
I’ve had it up to HERE with all the talk about Bartman and the impact that play did or didn’t have on the game and series. Christ you guys sound like the yogurt-brains on AM Sports Radio. Let’s just shuddup about it. "No Forgiveness" also means not giving it any more air play. Bartman and the play get no more consideration from me than does the so-called non-existent Curse or Jim Rhome or Al Hrabosky. Not worth my time. I’m ignoring all of it. end of story.
I prefer to turn my attention to Hot Stove League rumors…. did you about that rumor of Juan Cruz for Britney Spears and a thong?
T.J., in regards to Sox fans, you left out tattooed and shirtless.
People,
IT’S NOVEMBER!!!!!
The reason I got smacked up by my bitch? I tried to show her how I could light a cigarette from her hand after stabbing it with a hot car lighter.
That’s right KD, and we’ll be bitching about it until March.
Oh, because I’m compelled:
In Indiana for Halloween, and we got some Bartman’s running around.
Very creepy how many people look like him. Someone should start a menwholooklikestevebartman.com website.
Hey, thanks!
FYI Walt: the stories about Bartman are the ones about how his Little Leaguers (or whatever) are selling sweatshirts to make money, or how an anonymous attorney is auctioning the ball off, or the cries from the "hand-wringers" for forgiveness. I’m also saying I’ve had enough of it, but no one had better try to make those of us who are pissed feel guilty about our thoughts toward that goof, and we’re also tired of people trying to capitalize on it. I agree: just let it go away.
One more thing, though. Isn’t it ironic how the Sun-Times couldn’t wait to break the story and name the culprit who eventually became known as Bartmen, but now they won’t name or investigate who the turd is who is auctioning the ball?
Don’t know if anyone caught the Tonya Harding 911 call on the Jim Rome show this afternoon (when she called 911 after she Mrs. Slater’d him in the nose). I tried to find a link to the audio or an actual transcript. The best I could come up with was this: http://www.courttv.com/archive/people/2000/0224/harding_ap.html. It’s much funnier if you hear the whole thing. She’s talking to the operator and he’s in the background screaming "You’r a liar! You a liar and a felon! I have nothing to hide. Come on over Mr. Policeman!" Good stuff.
Yeah, its November, so we’ve got the Bears, Illinois & Notre Dame football & Bulls basketball until college hoops starts up. Man, this is depressing. Anybody got a Zanax?
My dumbass screwed up the link. Here it is (functioning properly).
http://www.courttv.com/archive/people/2000/0224/harding_ap.html
Sorry, Jake. It all ends now.
If anyone deserves the cover for the SI, it’s Priest Holmes. He carrys that team and since the guy in my league won’t part with him, he’s the one who deserves the cover jinx.
KD, tipoff is any second now.
Chance of a wager?
Mattus, gambling is illegal at Bushwood. Besides, I never slice or take the over.
Ahh, how convenient.
I thought not…
Damn, my numbers are horrible this first quarter. 12 minutes, 1 of 6 from the floor, turnover, missed FT.
Wonder who’s the poor bugger that’s got me on their Fantasy Team?
Just as well I’m here to pull your sorry asses out of the fire.
The Celts have talls, but no bigs.
Bulls up 30-23 in the 2nd.
I’m big.
3 assists. 2 fouls. 0 points.
Oh, wait.
Chi 34
Bos 31
I was the Celtics Killer last season…
Where am I now?
42-41 Bulls, 2 mins to go in the half.
I’m a Boston Celtics PG with limited passing skills, moderate quickness and a 3-point shot. Who do I remind you of?
And don’t say JR Bremer!
OK Guys, come in. No, closer. Right.
We can win this one, if we stay together. Jamal, you’re playing crap. Start the 2nd half, just give me all you’ve got for the first 5-6 minutes.
Jalen, bench. Scottie, bench. Kendall, bench.
Eddie, go and whack one of their big guys. They’re not tough, none of them. The whole team will fall over once you pin one on Vin or Raef in the post. Subtle, but, right?
No turnovers. That’s the key guys.
"Bulls"
Bam!
Hey Tyce – 12 points, 11 boards, 21 mins. Check it.
Bulls up 7, 5½ to go in the 3rd.
Bam!
Hey Tyce – 12 points, 11 boards, 21 mins. Check it.
Bulls up 7, 5½ to go in the 3rd.
Yo Trent, respect, but we don’t need you no more.
Chi 60
Box 57
2 mins to go, 3rd
Anytime I have more turnovers than field goals, we lose.
Actually, anytime I have more assists than field goals, we lose.
Scores about to be tied.
See, I told you. I said, I told you. No, I told you. Nevermind.
Turnovers guys. Limit the giveaways, we get the cash.
No, cash.
Mr Bill, it’s all about makin’ baskets, baby.
Boom, 3 points!
Up 70-63. Keep me out here and it’s over.
You know you’re in trouble when all of a sudden I’m your best/only 4th quarter option…
Celts down 6, 7½ to go.
Bartman deserves all the shit he’s getting and then some. Anyone who sits in those seats just has to know that a play could be made. Plus, he was listening to the damn game. How could he not have known? But, he’s an ND grad and, by definition, an asshole, idiot, and douchebag so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
No Bill, it’s an Official Timeout. What? No, the Officials.
Guys, forget about turnovers, they don’t matter. Keep moving your feet, hands in faces, getting to the spot first.
Hit some FTs for us, Pip.
Hey, how about some love. This has gotto be the quietest MVP game ever.
18 and 4, and a lock job on Paul Pierce.
Whoops.
84-80
All over.
Should have taken me up, mate.
Terrible shooting night by the C’s. They’re 12 players deep these days, and still they’re tired.
Later.
What’s the Desipio over/under for the first time Chip Caray criticizes Cubs fans for their actions towards Bartman? I think it will be the second inning of the first game.
Dammit, I should have.
Instead, I was on the treadmill with my fat ass; out-sweating Jamal Crawford.
Chip will bring up Bartman during the first pre-game show.
Dave B – I generally agree with your viewpoint, and this time is no exception.
Next time you come to CR to watch the Lugnuts, let me know – I’ll buy you a beer and we can debate the future of the prospect d’jour
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