The Bulls have a 4.4 percent chance of winning the draft lottery tonight. That’s approximately the same chance that Jalen Rose has of actually making one of those last second shots he loves to toss up after running about the last 13 seconds off of the game clock while standing still and dribbling.
But should the Bulls win the lottery (and make ABC, TNT, ESPN and David Stern very happy), is it a sure fire thing that they’ll take LeBron James, his posse, his $75 million worth of endorsement deals and all of the suffocating attention that goes with him?
You bet your ass it does.
John Paxson’s a smart man. He won’t go down in history as the man who traded, or passed up, King James I. Not gonna happen.
Quietly, the Bulls are hoping to sneak into the top three, though not necessarily the top spot. James is too good to pass up, but you get the feeling that a cusp-of-the-playoffs Bulls franchise would be happy with Carmelo Anthony or the rights to trade Darko Milicic to some other team who needs a seven foot teenager (the Bulls are pretty well stocked, there.)
Plus, the Kevin Garnett rumors continue. They continue because Paxson, rightly, won’t dismiss them. You get the feeling that if Paxson could work out a deal where the Bulls keep Tyson Chandler, Eddy Curry and Jamal Crawford and get KG, that Paxson would pull the trigger. If I’m the Timberwolves I want Jay Williams and Jalen Rose and Tyson Chandler. The Bulls aren’t likely to want to trade all three.
This year, we’re going to get to see the lottery balls in all of their glory. Why? Because the NBA is praying to God that the Knicks or Bulls win the thing, and they don’t want any “Stern put the Knicks envelope in dry ice” rumors to pop up about this process.
I can’t wait to see the look on David Stern’s face when he sees LeBron holding up a Nuggets jersey on draft night.
Yesterday a furor started over on the Cubstalk.com message boards about an impending Marlins-Cubs trade that would have netted the Cubs Luis Castillo and Mike Lowell. The rumor was apparently started by the one Cardinals fan who can type (though, I’m sure he does it with his toes) and it was amazing to see how quickly it was accepted as fact.
This guy had Jim Hendry in Montreal, where the Marlins were last night, negotiating contract extensions for both Castillo and Lowell. He had the Giants coming in as a third team in the deal sending middle infield prospect Cody Ransom to the Marlins, in return for getting Cubs second baseman Mark Grudzielanek.
This thing had more red flags on it than the practice green at Cog Hill, but it’s a testament to how badly fans want the Cubs to make a bold move. People bought it, hook, line and sinker.
Here’s the whole trade according to a guy whose username on the MLB.com boards was augie40hr. (That should have been a tip-off.)
Marlins send:
to Chicago: 2B Luis Castillo, 3B Mike Lowell, P Tom Phelps
Cubs send:
to Florida: P Juan Cruz, 3B Dave Kelton, 2B Bobby Hill, P Steve Smyth
to San Francisco: 2B Mark Grudzielanek
Giants send:
to Florida: 2B/SS Cody Ransom edited because I’m a dope and couldn’t type
Apparently, ESPN.com columnist Jayson Stark got wind of the rumor and reported it while serving as a guest on ESPN Gamenight on Tuesday night.
It wasn’t true. Wasn’t ever true and just kind of a look at what little things can’t start the trade rumors we cling to when we hear them later from “credible sources.”
To be fair, everybody and their sister knows that the Cubs are after Lowell and that the Marlins will trade him eventually. So it’s not like this was some farsical romp through the tall grass that Cubs fans were taken on. But it was close.
I’m tired of Sox fans (all six of them) calling into the local sports radio shows and trying to come up with ways the Sox can jump start their offense. How about this? How about calling up dwarfish, hot-hitting AAA second baseman Aaron Miles, moving D’Angelo Jiminez to shortstop and sitting Jose Valentin and his always overrated .241 hitting kiester on the bench?
Has anybody ever gotten more mileage out of one hot half (first half 2000 season) than Valentin? He’s a terrible fielder, makes no contact at the plate and while he’s purported to be a great clubhouse leader, have you seen a worse clubhouse than the Sox currently have? The only thing he does efficiently is translate for Bart Colon. Yikes.
Did Mark Grudzielanek have a nice nap yesterday? Next time Gruddy, do it on your own time.
Sammy is wearing shoes again! This, of course, disqualifies him for citizenship in Arkansas.
Kerry Wood and Roger Clemens are on a crash course for a Saturday Fox TV game. I’m giddy.
Mike Downey tells the Bulls to go get Garnett.
Groucho says the NBA is in panic mode hoping LeBron lands in O’Hare or LaGuardia.
Johnny Pax has already had enough of this lottery business. I like that.
An ump blew a call and then Carlos jacked the game winner. The Sox needed some luck.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to go out on a limb and say that Annika won’t win The Colonial. Sage stuff, there.
The Wizard of Roz says he’s all over this Annika thing today. Oh, and Nelly doesn’t like the Cubs chances.
Nancy Lieberman says she can relate to Annika. Is Annika going to coach a team and sleep with one of the players, too?
Jayson Stark on Mr. Clutch, Alex Gonzalez.
Gerbil Clayton says that the NFL June cuts won’t amount to much. Unless you’re a liquor salesman in Miami.
Marty Burns’ mullet doesn’t like the chances of the Pistons now. Gee, ya think?
Tom Verducci’s mailbag includes his assinine reasons for not voting for Ryne Sandberg.
Fat Ruben or Gay Clay? Wow, what a choice.
Drudge says that of 24 million votes, only 1300 separated Clay and Ruben. Al Gore wants a recount!
Michael Jackson collapsed under the weight of his afro wig yesterday.
Everybody loves the Dixie Chicks! OK, not everybody…
America’s finest news source gets the pulse of the “man on the street” about SARS.
To Nelly:
You’re still ghetto when you get down to it. You can have all the bling-bling and hos in the world, but you’re still a dope-dealin’ thug when you get done.
Yo, Hammer, maybe you can get your old batboy job back with the A’s. Lord knows, you need the money.
Ah crap, Annika is -1 through seven. If she plays well, who knows how many more tournaments she’ll play in. I can’t afford to skip too often to avoid her–it’s not like the endorsement deals are rolling in!
Annika has an unfair advantage. Thanks to me and Craig Stadler she doesn’t have the biggest boobies on the tour.
I did not say that Annika wouldn’t win. What I said was that if she doesn’t win she should fire her caddy. And anybody who finishes tied with her or lower should fire their caddies. And the Sox should fire Jerry Manuel. And the Bears should fire Dick Jauron. And Northwestern should fire their new AD. And…
Hamizzle was one finizzle batizzle boyzzle.
Dig?
Hey, how come a washed up rapper can be a bat boy and I can’t?
Uh, this is why.
And this:
![]("http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/photo/photogallery/ps/y2002/darren_baker_large/07.jpg"/)
Not so fast, Bud. Take a closer look.
Giants are sending Cody Ransom to San Franciso?
And, what does R.Kelly think?
Annika made the turn at one under. Me no likey one bit.
Please Hammer…Don’t hurt ’em…
So the nitwits who like country music don’t like the Dixie Chicks? I don’t know who the Dixie Chicks are, but that makes them numbers one, two and three in my book.
Oh, birdieing a par 3 hole most hacks at the local cow pasture can birdie means I’m playing well? Awesome. This PGA stuff is easy.
Wait. I bogeyed a hole. I’m back to even and sinking fast!
This chick isn’t so bad. Even par through 15 with this much going on isn’t so bad. Lets see how many of the guys finish in red numbers.
One over par means she’ll have to be at least 2 under to make the cut tomorrow.
And she’ll tee off late tomorrow when the course is drier and the greens have been trampled on. Hahahahaha!
By the way, I’m 1 under through, um, 1 hole.
I am getting beat by a girl.
I know how you feel.
Here I go again on my own….
You don’t have to take that, Chuck and Steve. Just wander back into the restaurant, the boys will take care of the rest.
Hey, Phil’s boobs are not that big.
![]("http://enquirer.com/editions/2002/04/13/mickelson_zoom.jpg"/)
OK, maybe they are. But sex with him is a threesome every time.
By the way, I am super hot.
I can’t believe how lucky I am to have a wife that hot. Now if only I could win one of those pesky Majors without choking under the pressure, my life would be complete.
It could be worse. You could win every major and have to play a blonde swedish/nanny/supermodel to hide your overwhelming homosexualness.
Ya, in Sweden, homosexualness is a word. Ya.
Actually, may name is Elin Nordegren, and if I’m a beard, I’m a beard made of bees!
Hey Amy,
Remind you of anybody?
God bless the day you added this discussion thing, and God bless the readers who figured out how to add photos.
I love you guys.
Sob.
Best. Website. Ever.
The sole criteria of frigidity is the absence of the vaginal orgasm. by free online poker