The Bulls have an actual, real-live NBA Playoff game on Sunday. I’m not sure if you remember what those are like, but they used to be pretty cool.
It’s been seven years. Seven. Come on, even the most pessimistic of Bulls’ fans didn’t think it’d be that long after Michael Jordan left for good before the Bulls would get back in it.
We’ve endured a lot over seven years. We had to watch guys like Roy Rogers, Corey Benjamin, Cory Carr, Matt Maloney, Dedric Willoughby, Khalid El-Amin and of course the greats Dalibor Bagaric and Kornel David.
Does it make us even for watching Michael Jordan all those years and enjoying six titles in eight seasons? Probably not. If you’ve been a Bulls fan since 1984 you’ve gotten a lot more than you’ve given. But it’s good to be back among the living.
There are few things we know about the Bulls playoffs chances.
– They will lose one of the games simply because they can’t score for about nine minutes during either the second or third quarter. They will, however, make a last minute mad dash and almost win and we’ll sit around for two days wondering how they could go 19 possessions in a row without taking a shot that hit the rim.
– They will win one of the games when they cling to a one point lead and let Washington take six shots in the final 30 seconds, but they’ll all be bad, heavily defensed shots and the Wiz won’t make any of them.
– Kirk Hinrich will have at least one game where he goes 6-22 or worse from the field.
– Ben Gordon will have a game where he scored at least 18 points in the fourth quarter. In fact, he might have four of those.
– Antonio Davis will look at times like he’s been to the taxidermist.
– Kirk Hinrich will have at least one game where he gets 10 rebounds. He’s the toughest little SOB this side of Allen Iverson, and I admit it, I didn’t want him in the draft two years ago and now I can’t imagine the Bulls without him.
– Lawrence Funderburke will not…I repeat will not bring down the Funder. Though, I wish he would.
– The Bulls will win it in six and then go on to a five game spanking by Shaq, Dwyane and the Heat.
– Forty-seven wins, home court in a round in the playoffs and a playoff series win? We’ll take it. It’s just so nice to have an NBA team again.
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John Paxson is trying his darndest to squish expectations. But if you put him under oath, he’d tell you he expects a round one victory, too.
Groucho says the Wiz thinks the Bulls are dirty. Well, I think they smell.
Tyson will play in the opener on Sunday.
The Redskins wants the Bears pick. Ooh, maybe we can get Sonny Jurgenson!
The Cubs, they no get many hits yesterday. Boo.
Jerry and Neifi get all the playing time they want. And more.
Nomar could miss the rest of the season. But he won’t.
Ronny Cedeno can learn all the fun of sitting on a big league bench! Whee!
Teddy Greenstein with good stuff. First on the Kerry Wood “video”, then on why the Sun-Times loves pictures of guys grabbing their balls and finally, we’ll have a choice between watching the Bulls on TNT or ESPN or Comcast. I’m going with TNT, and maybe ESPN, depending on the announcers. Tom Dore gives me nausea.
Phil Rogers still sucks at his job. Every time they send him to a game, he writes a glorified gamer instead of a column. He’s a complete jackass.
Don Pierson wants Mike Williams. Me too.
Judging from the tone, Mariotti puts down the doughnut to write his last column about the Cubs this year. We hope.
You cannot contain Neifi!
How come nobody is on that jackass Bob Ryan for saying I roid yet? Are people scared that all of the extra old man saliva at the corners of his mouth will spill on them?
Desipio is my big enemique! You have beeg problum now meng! You f#*! with da Wrong Venezuelan!
Sorry, Nomar. But with roid/HUAC mania and your history of connective tissue injuries, the roid speculation will not be quelled.
CATCH IT!
Bob Ryan just needs some pudding.
Bob Ryan needs to be slapped, just like my wife.
I KEEL JOO OZZIE GUILLEN, JOO %$#@ER!
So Ozzie, how many ways CAN you %$#@ me?
In way too many more ways dan you can tink about meng. Who are you, meng?You not as good player as you dink. We gonna go to da seeries witout you. F$#k you, you looser. .307 hitter. Big deal, I better dan you guy.
And F^#k Buck Showalter, while I is at it. He not be good, like me anyway.
F*CK ALL Y’ALL.
Bulls in six? Are you nuts? Who on the Bulls is going to cover Larry Hughes? Plus, I’m going to mount Hinrich like a love-lorn Rottweiller. Wiz in five.
Sounds good to me.
Waaaaaaaahhhhh, the Bulls play diiiiiiiirty!
We sure talk tough for a bunch of assclowns who barely even go to the games. Hell, must of us don’t even know our team’s roster. How many rings do we have? You would think we were a premier franchise, the way we are talking and writing right now.
In 49 at bats Hollandsworth is batting .245 with 1 homer and 5 RBI, Dubois in 15 at bats is .267 with 1 homer and 4 RBI. Hollandsworth is a great pinch hitter, Dubois is not. It doesnt take a genius to see who should be playing everyday does it?
I LaSuck!
Hi, it’s Nomar’s Best Days here. Y’know that disclaimer –“OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR”?
Yeah, well, no matter what you’re eyes and what you’ve been trained to accept as truth may be telling you, it’s 1999, and I’m in Boston. What’re YOU driving?