I actually feel kind of bad for Matt Lawton. He’s all excited about coming to Chicago because “It’ll be the first time in my career I’ll have some meaningful games in September.” Oh, they’re so cute when they are this naive.
Dusty’s mad about a report that he wants to manage the Dodgers next year. I’m sure Dusty’s really high on Paul DePodesta’s list of potential managers. He’s probably got a slightly better chance than say, Preston Gomez or Walter Alston.
Greggy had one of those days. We know he’s apt to have them once and a while, and they are ugly. Then again, it was our genius manager who had the bright idea to put his pitchers most likely to wear out the bullpen (Wood and Greg) back-to-back coming out of the All-Star Break. And now that it’s Hill and Maddux, that’s even more likely to happen, regularly.
Todd Walker says he wasn’t worried he’d be traded. But he didn’t want to go. Heck no, his brother-in-law just got him season tickets for the Bears.
Phil Rogers gives Hendry that D, and Kenny Williams gets a C on trade deadline day. Geoff Blum was a nice pick up. He can fill that Jerry Dybzinski role this year.
Ryne’s slam of Sammy was so obvious that even Phil figured it out.
More of the speech.
Kerry had little trouble with the great Fort Wayne Wizards, but he did need 22 pitches to get through four batters. Some things never change.
Teddy G. wonders if JoePa will ever hang them up.
Greg Couch says if nothing else, Matt Lawton gives the Cubs hope. He gives them hope and a chance to strand a couple more runners every game.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to thoroughly enjoy Sandberg’s speech.
Brad Maynard has a sore calf. I wonder if he called Pat Summerall to see if Pat could get him an appointment with their chiropractor?
Cedric Benson’s still holding out, but I don’t blame him for skipping a week of two-a-days.
Brian Urlacher has two goals for the football season. He wants to be the NFL Defensive Player of the Year (I’m not betting against him) and he’d like to avoid fathering any more kids (I’m not taking those odds.)
Barry Rozner got his name said by a Hall of Famer during his induction. That reminds me of the time that I had a similar honor. Eric Davis once told me to “f#$% off” during pre-game stretching with the Dodgers when I asked him if Marge Schott was still forcing him to make payments on his spleen surgery.
It was cheesy, but I got goose bumps at the way the Fenway fans reacted when just minutes after the trade deadline had passed, Manny Ramirez popped out of the Red Sox dugout to pinch hit. You know that most of them had no idea if he’d been traded or not, and there he was, still in a Red Sox uniform, getting the game-winning hit and the place went nuts from the time he grabbed a bat until he drove in the run with a single.
Baseball America on the Lawton trade, it’s three paragraphs of nothing.
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback.
PK was in Bourbonnais last week. Here’s what a dope I am. For the first time in a long time I’m looking forward to Madden Release Day because the Bears should actually be fun to use as your team again. And in the game, when Rex blows out body part, you just hit reset.
Sounds like Theo is getting a bad rap for backing out on deals. Ooh, I’ll bet he’ll lose tons of sleep over this. Larry Bigbie’s a better player than Eric Byrnes anyway.
Ken Rosenthal said Soriano was nearly a…Brave.
The world’s greatest newspaper has Donald Rumsfeld in a Speedo.
Your’re right Ryne.
Andre was the best . . .and he did it the natural way.
Raffy got busted!!!!!!
I’ve got nothing to add. Just thought I’d follow the sequence.
Ummm, Mr. Palmeiro? We may not have met, but I think you and I will soon become veeery close friends.
Cindy, I thought you didn’t like “Kid Natural,” and that’s why you turned to me!
How much you want to bet that Dusty is so confused right now about where to pencil Lawton in the lineup tomorrow night? Dusty will be tossing and turning all night long. Maybe if Darren sleeps with him and comforts him, Dustbag just might actually use Lawton right.
The new lineup should look like this come Friday:
Lawton-CF
Nomar-SS
Lee-1B
Burnitz-RF
Ramirez-3B
Walker-2B
Murton-LF
Barrett-C
Dusty’s Lineup come Friday:
Hairston-CF
Macias-3B
Lee-1B
Burnitz-RF
Walker-2B
Hollandsworth-LF
Perez-SS
Blanco-C
Dusty just loves playing lefties so much, he’ll leave Lawton out of the lineup thinking he bats right.
And Dusty is going to be around next year?
Baker Basher
I guess Raffy is our next Dumbass Dujour!!
I don’t know anything about the “manage a tois” LeMar got mixed up in, but managing toys would have to be better than managing this crap.
Ho Ho, I think I deserve at least a look as Dumbass Du Jour. I have all the qualifications. I went up to the podium after Gary Thorne introduced me to play Take Me Out to The Ballgame on the harmonica, only to be told by Thorne that that was an hour later! I strutted out onto the stage pantomiming the shell of what my swing used to be. And I’m a goddamn St. Louis Cardinal! I want to be the second-oldest Cardinal to win the award!
Wha, they nailed Raffy? Shit. Where’s my passport??
I’m with Baker Basher. Enough is enough. I find myself getting so frustrated at watching this team. How are we just 1 game over the Mendoza Line? I don’t care if Nomar was out for over half the season–look at our friends in Atlanta. Jeff Francouer? Kelly Johnson? Kyle Davies?
It can be done. You just need the right brains…not the dustbag. It’s time…
Ladies and Gentlemen, your “Joe Morgan Dumbass du Jour” winner for August 1.
Adam, the Cubs are playing .200 baseball?
Palmeiro seemed in that appearance to be indignant over accusations made by former slugger Jose Canseco, who cited Palmeiro as a steroid user in his tell-all book. In an interview on the CBS television show “60 Minutes,” Canseco — who also testified before Congress — said he injected the drug into Palmeiro.
Mario…feels like it sometimes.
Damn you, Raffy! Before Harry ever started calling you “Palermo,” he was butchering my name and getting a hard on whenever I was in the on deck circle! I have seniority here, dammit! I put a lot of work into this award, and I thought I’d be a slam dunk. Maybe Andy can give me the July 31 DBDdJ award and you the Aug. 1 DBDdJ award.
I know my buddy Joe Morgan doesn’t like the award anymore, but…
I don’t know, Stan about the award that you win for losing, but when I have to choose just one guy for the award, I choose you, Debbie Boggs and Gary Thorne. Gary Thorne said some weird things during the introductions, like Don Sutton likes wine, I like Hockey and Gaylord likes K-Y Jelly.
I just said goodbye to my HOF chances!!!
I’m sure that they were just diet supplements ala former Bears QB Jim Miller.
Raffi pluth steroith, anyone has thith on ther gaydar?
I can still swap for an older, below-average OF a couple more times on the way to landing Steve Finley.
Screw Steve Finley, I won’t stop trading until I’ve got Brett Butler.
Wouldn’t Palmeiro actually be guilty of Contempt of Congress, since that is where he said he had never used steroids in his life (Or something like that)???
Of course, Contempt of Congress is pretty easy to avoid these days… Just become a federal judge.
I think the word you’re grasping for is “perjury”, BC, and I would be if you could prove that I’d taken them before I testified. Good luck with that.
I can’t wait to display my veteran leadership and show some of these guys how to get caught stealing at more appropriate times.
#24, I’m not a lawyer… My point is that if he lied at a congressional hearing, which it looks like he may have, then isn’t it technically COC before it is perjury???
No. 24, there short answer is “no.” COC doesn’t even exist.
BC, I’m not a lawyer either but last time I checked, contempt was for obstruction (e.g. refusing to testify) whereas perjury deals with lying. Either way, that’s not the point – you can’t prove I was taking steroids in March, so it will never get that far.
I’m the first big fish to be brought down. Everyone else has been fringe major leaugers. Odd that it’s coming so close to the end of my career and after 3,000, MLB has always had impecable timing.
Much as I hate to defend BC, COC does exist : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contempt_of_Congress… I just didn’t do it.
I’ll COC you bitches.
Okay, let’s try that without the dots…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contempt_of_Congress
Boy, am I all over BC, and rightly so. “Contempt of Congress” is like being “a little bit pregnant.” No such thing exists.
In BC’s mind, he gets to play Congress Judgeâ„¢, slamming the gavel, and bellowing, “You’re in contempt, Raffy! ORDER! ORDER!”
We’re winning again, bitches. Thank God for this Blum kid, he really puts us over the top.
zzzzzzzzzzzzz……………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
“Either way, that’s not the point – you can’t prove I was taking steroids in March, so it will never get that far.”
I agree with you on that point. I don’t think Palmeiro is in any legal trouble.
My statement came in response to post #4, as I thought lying to Congress was COC and not perjury. Again I’m not a lawyer so I don’t know the difference, but I am thinking that since it was a Congressional hearing, and not a hearing in an actual court of law, then it’s just COC… Maybe it’s both, I’m not sure.
No, BC….
YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER!!!!!!!!!!
#33:
Read this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contempt_of_Congress
“In the federal law of the United States, contempt of Congress is the crime of obstructing the work of U.S. Congress, with a punishment of up to one year in prison and up to $1,000 in fines.
U.S. Congress generally brings this action for refusing to testify before a Congressional committee, or failing to provide a committee with requested documents. There have also been contempt cases based on bribing a Senator or Representative.”
However, this link doesn’t say if lying to a Congressional committee is Contempt of Congress or not.
My car broke down on Congress once, so I hate that street. Is that Contempt of Congress then? My brother had to come help me push it to the side, and call for a tow truck. That day was no fun.
a witness commits perjury if he: 1) makes a false statement (probably, but hard to prove he had taken steroids prior to the hearings) 2) about a material fact (check–the hearings were about steroid use); and 3) is under oath (check).
Congress could follow up with either more hearings or send him interrogatories asking whether he had taken steroids prior to testifying. Raffy would probably take the Fifth.
Not good for Palermo.
Don’t I own a pizza joint?
BC, Contempt of Congress doesn’t exist for “informal” hearings on steroid use. There is no Contempt of Congress for Raffy, because there is no way to prove he took steroids prior to March, 2005. The body of Congress legislates, but does not hand down judicial decisions, despite acting like a courtroom from time to time.
I come here to read about baseball.
I come here to read about Civics. Hurrah!
Yeah, me too…I swear it.
I think BC’s got a point. There was nothing “informal” about the hearing…they were called by the relevant committee, an oath was given, and the hearing was for a legislative purpose (to determine whether legislation was necessary to prevent steroid use in professional sports). The wikipedia listing suggests that if Congress wanted to, it could pass a resolution saying he’s in contempt and a prosecutor could take the ball and run.
Christ how many lawyers are there on this site, or did you all stay at a Holiday Inn last night?
Even better, they stayed at me!
Except that NOBODY CAN PROVE A FUCKING THING!! Leave it, will you?
Hey, we’ve got the same name.
dudes, having a cool one dude in my day off dudes.
tough weekend but if we win 4 out of 6 this wek we’re on schedule to win 90 games dudes.
cheers dudes.
Did somebody say C & C music factory? I luff them!
That’s nice Dusty, now why don’t you worry about catching the teams in front of you. Besides, I’m very unlikely seeing as you have to play the Astros and Cards a bunch more.
I said I have never ever done steroids, ever, period. …Yet (period)
Raffy should have used an interpreter at he hearings. “I was jus a leetle Cuban eemigrant, who wanted to play de beisbol”.
I guess no one noticed that even I got a shout-out during the Ryno love fest on Sunday.
That will be the first and last time my name is mentioned in the same breath as Cooperstown without spasmic laughter ensuing.
I played the game the right way too, damnit! It’s not my fault I was 3-foot-9.
Oh, and Gary Carter did a wonderful job on the Canadian anthem. He screwed it up bilingually.
The best thing about the lawyers here at Desipio is that they bill their clients while they waste time here. America, what a beautiful country.
Jo-dee! Jo-dee Ger-ut,
A fortnight’s worth of bennnnnch!
Even I know the rules of stealing 3rd base. If there are less than 2 outs, you better be sure you’re going to make it. If there are 2 outs, no big deal if you’re thrown out.
I am a lawyer, and guess what? There is an eyewitness to Palmiero using steroids prior to the time of his testimony before Congress. Jose Canseco. A lot of folks would question Jose’s credibility, but he sure got a whole lot more credible today.
Chuckles from Ivy Chat banned me from posting any comments because I always out debated him in any conversation he had with me. He asked me to give him my email address. If any of you gto huys gets a chance to relay it to him it’s the following
Cubfansswallowloadsofcum@aol.com
Let him also know hes a booty juice drinking fag who takes it in the ass. Damn that rhymes.
Thy name is JJ.
Now: 53-52
against STL & HOU: 10-11
against CIN,PIT,MIL: 10-4
against SF,PHI,NYM,FLA,COL,ATL,LAD: 14-8
End of Season: 87-75
Enough for WC?
we’ll see, dudes
Boy oh Boy!! This has been a good news week!
I pissed in Raffy’s urine cup before it was tested.
nobody wants me!!!!! i’m gonna cry again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to JJ, the rules contain the following:
1) When getting destroyed and when unable to make any cogent point, insult the opponent’s children for an automatic win.
Does anyone have Hendry making a waiver deal? Griffey would certaintly be available due to his salary. It’s hotter than a Bangladeshi tiger’s loins out here.
Me Grimlock think Hoops need shut up now. Me not like him and his Adam Dunn worshipping buddies. He go away now.
I’d like to thank all you fans for supporting me through the years. Getting inducted into the Hall of Fame is an immense honor.
2005 is a futile year
the kool-aid crowd, they hath no fear
everyone else knew – they had no chance
when Latroy came out and pooped his pants
Wood came up lame, Fox died on the mound
even the great Prior rolled on the ground
Dusty Baker said: Dude, we’re bound to get hot
and confirmed the suspicion that Dusty smoke’s pot.
Congratulations to Ryne Sanderson, what a ballplayer and a heck of a good-looking guy.
beautiful, Carl. I wept.
Wow. Someone defended me? Brings a tear to me eye (Sniff).