Kerry Wood is my favorite Cubs pitcher of all time. I have a manly love for Carlos Zambrano and Greg Maddux’s return has reminded me how fond I was of him the first time around. Sure, guys like Les Lancaster and Calvin Schiraldi and Al Nipper and Dick Ruthven all did some good things (well, not Schiraldi or Nipper…but stick with me this is going someplace), but Kerry’s my favorite.
He’s my favorite because no matter how frustrated you get at him for a) being injured, b) losing any sight of the strike zone, c) occasionally picking the ugly blue jersey tops, you know that he’s out there fighting his ass off to stay in the game. If you were going to assemble the personality for your favorite Cub, you’d eventually put together one that becomes Kerry Lee Wood.
Let us count the ways:
1) Toughness — Nobody’s tougher than our grizzled, old 26-year-old Texan. In his career he’s hit 75 guys in only 161 starts. How many of them have even dared to consider joining him on the mound for a “chat?”
2) Sense of humor — Remember the time last year when he had to pinch run in Cincinnati? He scored the go ahead run and when the half-inning ended he grabbed his glove, ran to Dusty and asked, “What position am I playing?” And started to run out onto the field. After the game he was asked what he learned from the experience and he said, “I learned not to wear my spikes on days I’m not pitching. They can’t make you pinch run in your tennis shoes.” He also had my single favorite quote of the year when he was asked if Moises peeing on his hands was catching on in the Cubs clubhouse. He said, “A little too much. Guys think if they get a headache now, they can cure it by taking a s@#$ in their hat.”
3) Accountability — He pitched two of the greatest postseason games in Cubs history (not that there’s such a long history) against the Braves last year, and when, like all of us he was a pile of goo after losing game seven, he took all the blame on himself. Sure, he didn’t pitch well, but the point is that he meant it. You could tell. This wasn’t a “I should say this, so I’ll say it” moment. Kerry felt like he let his team down, the fans down, and himself down and there wasn’t any act.
4) Stubbornness — You have to be stubborn, to a point to be successful at anything. You will never see Kerry give a hopeful glance at the bullpen during an inning. You’ll never see him give in and make it easy on a hitter. Sure, there will be times like the fifth inning last night when you wonder if he’ll be able to find the strike zone with a road map, but if he goes down, he’ll go down fighting.
Maybe he’ll never be what we all thought he’d be on that glorious May afternoon in 1998 when he became the first big leaguer to strike out his age. Maybe he’ll never win 17 games in a season. But count me in the group who are just dumb enough to think that the best of Kerry Wood hasn’t been seen yet. But even if we have seen it, it’s all been worth seeing.
—
I didn’t listen to the last six innings of the game, I just watched them. If I hadn’t been flipping back and forth between Survivor: Vanuatu and the game, I’d have turned Pat and Ron on, but instead it was peaceful at times watching a game in silence.
I’ve just had it with Chip to the point where it’s not even worth it to attempt to listen to him anymore. By now, we all know what little information he and Steve are going to give us anyway, so why listen to them?
It gives you a lot of time to think when you’re not splitting your time between yelling at the players and having one-sided arguments with Chip during the game. And so I got to thinking about just what the odds are that with only 32 big league teams that we’d get stuck with a steaming pile like Chip. When you combine that with being saddled with Jeff Joniak, Chicago sports fans like us (ones who ignore the White Sox) are doubly cursed.
How is it possible that by any evaluation of Chip’s work as a Cubs’ broadcaster that he’d be given another contract?
Say you were John McDonough and you had to objectively give Chip a year-end review. Wouldn’t it have to be like this?
OK, Chip. You did a pretty good job this year. Except for the fact that you still don’t seem to actually understand baseball. You know you’re a little fuzzy on the rules. You can’t seem to judge the flight of the baseball very well. You can’t tell a slider from a curveball or a sinker. You have some annoying habits. Like the fact that any time a ball is fouled back you say, ‘That’s one fouled back by us.’ This assumes that anybody at home cares. They don’t. You seem obsessed with what time it is. People have clocks in their homes. They already know what time it is. Not every ball is a rocket shot. Not every flyball is belted. A ball is not grounded to short right field if Derrek Lee fields it and runs over to first base for an out. Stop talking about how great Brad Lidge is considering he blew consecutive saves against the Cubs. Not every bullpen is vaunted.
OK, you lost big points here with that allliterative nonsense. Battling Buccos you can have, but Carnivorous Cardinals? They don’t have teeth. They can’t be carnivores. Rallyin’ Reds? That’s just stupid. The Padres are not the Swinging Friars, the swinging friar is their mascot. That’d be like calling them the chickens. He’s a mascot, too.
The bran muffin thing with me is cute. I appreciate it. But nobody at home cares. We don’t give you a microphone to entertain yourself for three hours. Also, nobody cares if you or Steve pays for dinner. In fact, they’d probably enjoy it if you two would just shut up about your awkward social lives. Everybody already knows that Steve finally got re-married and has some dogs. Everybody already knows you have an imaginary family that you pretend lives in Orlando. So enough of that.
This, this is hard to explain, so I’ll just be blunt. You need to shut up during the games. You talk way too much. You also need to learn to stop predicting the action on the field. It’s annoying when you say that a pitcher laid down a “perfect bunt” which you do all the time, only to see a fielder throw out the lead baserunner about 1.4 seconds later. That’s not really that perfect. Your biggest problem as an announcer is the inability to let the play happen before you describe it. It makes you wrong…a lot. If we fined you by the error, you’d owe us more money than we pay you.
You need to stop trying to analyze the game. You just don’t know much about baseball. We already established that. So just leave it to Stone. We pay him an absurd amount of money. Let him earn it. Though, really, sitting next to you every day…he’s earning it before he even talks.
This is a new one. You need to cut out the weird chuckling you do. When you are trying to be funny, you chuckle while you talk. If you are so insecure about your sense of humor that you think you have to prompt the fans at home to alert them that you are trying to make a joke, then shut up. It’s annoying, and distracting. You are also never funny. You have the sense of humor God gave a paper plate.
You’re going to need to stop dressing yourself. You have been failing that routinely for six years now. How hard is it to dip into the vast wardrobes of swag you get from Fox Sports and WGN and not pick a shirt the color of the team we are playing against? You can wear the black polo with the gold letters on it, just don’t wear it when we’re playing the Pirates. Don’t even pack the red shirts when we go to St. Louis or Cincinnati. How hard is that? By the way, we’re going to stop putting the camera on you when you’re standing up, your ass is absurdly wide. I know you used to be really fat, but man, what is with your enormous ass? Even Wayne Larivee makes fun of it.
Here’s a delicate topic. You seem to have no concept of what it means to be objective. Glorifying the opponents is not being objective. You and Steve act like the Cardinals invented baseball. As you can imagine, this is a source of irritation with our fans, not to mention the players. The players don’t like you, at all. I know you think it’s because you’re a “tough, but fair journalist.” Well, you’re not tough, and you wouldn’t know fair if the chalk blew up in your face. It all comes back to your personality, or lack thereof. The players don’t like you because you remind them all of the snotty kid who reminded the teacher they forgot to assign homework on a Friday. You annoy the fans because you don’t have the ability to inform, educate or entertain. You annoy small furry animals because they think your eyebrows are other small, furry animals who you have trapped on your forehead.
In closing, Chip I want to thank you for your hard work, misguided as it has always been, and wish you luck in your next job here at Tribune Entertainment. We’re bringing back the weekend version of Bozo and we need somebody to be the new Bozo. Oh, no, we don’t want you to be the new Bozo. I was just going to ask if we could rent your shoes from you?
—-
E-ramis was the man.
Sammy actually has to seem to have a clue. Especially his last line about getting booed.
Hurricane Jeanne might cancel Monday’s doubleheader with the Marlins in Miami. Alternate sites include playing them at Wrigley, playing them at the Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati (where the Cubs will be Sunday) or at PNC Park in Pissburgh (where the Cubs will be on Tuesday.)
I had no idea that the Packers (and ESPN) brought Peanut to Green Bay for the playoffs last year. If I was Peanut I’d have told them to go f@#$ themselves.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to talk about a self-promoting, ego-maniacal, talentless douchebag. And he talks a little about people other than him, like David Terrell.
Mike Kiley says the E in E-ramis will stand for expensive.
Sports Guy tries to break down how to gamble on pro football. You’re better off just taking your money and burning it.
Clyde Drexler wants to come back to the NBA with the Nuggets. Wow, which is scarier? That he thinks he can do it. Or that he thinks anybody really wants him to try?
The Cardinals won’t negotiate with their free agents until after their inevitable playoff collapse. I’m enjoying watching the Cardinals limp down the stretch and the knowledge that they peaked in August when the playoffs start in October. Muahahahahahahahahahaha!
The world’s greatest newspaper says that an Austrailian man has a brain in his penis.
Kerry didn’t have to tackle a guy to try to get a tough mound presence.
That’s sure different from another hard-throwing righty from the South the Cubs have.
Hey, I struck out my age once.
Good show, Aramis!
I was seven at the time.
Andy,
B.C. is simply out of control. He can’t take any remark sitting down; he has the obnoxious reflex of defending himself at every single, petty turn. His projected obsessiveness is not only creepy, but it’s turned a once-great website intended for passionate, humorous, intelligent, and smart-assed sports fans into "The Brian Crozier Self-Flagellating Page" The guy spends time here splitting hairs with the most inane arguments in an insane, mind-numbing manner.
I feel bad being so hard on the kid, but he obviously doesn’t get it. The more attention he gets paid, the more defiant he is. Is there anything you can do?
I enjoy Jake’s insights into NCAA, Kelly’s insights into music, and your very own writings on the Cubs. I also typically enjoy the posts from Dave B., Chuck, CT, CP etc. as well as the hilarious mock entries in the comment sections, but I’ve come to flinch in revulsion whenever I see B.C. persistently smacking me in the face as if with a 2 x 4 with his less-than-subtle musings.
I’m beginning to skip the Discussion section altogether. It’s not worth it to slog through B.C.’s minutae just to get to a couple of nuggets of solid satire.
I’m 10x worse than BC could ever be. Run my ass out of here first.
"The Brian Crozier Self-Flagellating Page"?
"defiant"?
What?
But then there’s this beauty…
"I’m beginning to skip the Discussion section altogether. It’s not worth it to slog through B.C.’s minutae just to get to a couple of nuggets of solid satire."
First off, you didn’t skip this discussion section today, but that was to rip into me. I can take people not liking my opinion, but talking about it with terms like "minutae", "insane", and "mind-numbing"… I mean, come on… I don’t even know what to say to this sort of stuff…
You love me now, wait until I drill a 96 mph fastball in Fat Albert’s ear lobe in Game 5 of the NLCS this year–with our team up comfortably 3 games to 1 and ready for the pennant in that game leading 10-0.
After hitting Fat Boy and getting tossed, I’ll sprint into the Cards dugout and beat The Genius to death with a bat, then run to the Deadbird bullpen and strangle Steve Klein with my bare hands.
Will I go to prison for this?
Speechless?
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
Thanks, bro. If Kerry was a Cubs fan and not a Cub, he’d fit right in here at Desipio.
And, it’s nice to see a heartfelt piece about a Cub this year. There’s been way too much pissing and moaning along the way.
B.C., incredulity does not equate to debate. If your retorts are "What?" and "I mean, come on…" you doom yourself to one-sided correspondence.
If you have a cohesive rejoinder, people won’t feel like you are writing for self-pleasing (i.e. masterbatory) purposes.
When yopu say you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything!!!
Wow. Man love expressed for me? I’m flattered.
I’m just getting ready for this scene to repeat itself four times this fall.
The first party is scheduled for October 1 in Wrigley at about 5:20 p.m. Central time.
More to follow.
Andy…
Great piece on Wood. Nobody likes Chip, so, really, why spend so much energy and time writing about him?
Your talent and energy could be better used to write about productive topics, like, how fat is Steve Kline and What sort of furry animal do players like Frank Thomas and Jim Edmonds really prefer?
165 days into the baseball season and 179 rants about how bad Chip is. Yawn.
The frequency that this topic is visited makes one think that there is something afoot here. Something latent, perhaps?
To "Kerry Lee Wood" (post #8):
As a prison official in a state neighboring both Illinois and Missouri, I can assure you that if you indeed pull off the deeds you mention, I will arrange for an interstate compact so that your prison time may be done in a minimum-security facility and you will be the star of the institutional softball team. I can also smuggle in some chewing tobacco for you.
Can you smuggle me and hubby in too? Conjugal visit sex is not one we’ve tried yet.
I’m apparently dumb enough that I need reminding about Chip.
So Kerry Wood is Andy’s fave because he tries hard, makes jokes, accepts blame, and because he tries real REAL hard.
Well, according to my old co-worker, Johnny Oates, that applies to about 98% of major leaguers.
Were I to apply that standard to Cubs I have watched, Wood goes way down the list. Past Sutcliffe. Past Maddux (his SI documented 1988 shave off contest with Jamie Moyer was a classic).
Kerry Wood will never be a favorite of mine until he stops doing the 5th inning kind of crap. I don’t care how hard you try if you place your team in position to lose. Jeff Pico tried hard. So did Reggie Patterson. I’m sure they were funny, too.
I don’t want either of them pitching for me in a game 7. Until I’m convinced of a consistent Kerry Wood, I don’t want him pitching for me in a game 7 either.
Give me Zamboni and Maddux one and two, and a healthy Prior three.
That "crap in your hat" interview was one of the funniest things I ever heard. Andy, would it be safe to assume that you were not one of the people calling Kerry "gutless" in the comments secion during yesterday’s game? Why is it that when Prior or Wood have a bad inning they are gutless? I can understand saying that about Clement, because he seems to come up with these phantom injuries when the pressure turns up, but sometimes pitchers just have bad innings.
Mike D., I feel your pain. For real.
JH, I believe it’s m-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-o-r-y (entirely appropriate word choice).
I am willing to shoulder a little blame here. Someone had to step up to the plate and set the table for Andy this summer while I was check-raising pocket Queens and trying to decide who would be hotter; Big Brother 5’s Diane after emergency dental work, or Kerri Walsh after a nose job. BC has done just that, ensuring that Desipio remains a mutli-opinionated source of (sic) entertainment.
Andy is a nurturer. If Desipio was a classroom, I doubt he’d put BC’s name on the chalkboard let alone smack his hand with a yardstick and put him in the corner with a dunce hat. Though I’m not sure they make dunce hats large enough for BC’s ever expanding head, and his thin skin could be permanently damaged by even the slightest of taps.
Andy is the eternal good cop, and I think deep down he knew it was only a matter of time before I returned, and he could sit back and enjoy the ensuing smackdown with the rest of you.
Desipio is a participatory/communal experience, though one that can certainly get bogged down and muddied. (Most of) You are to be commended for your patience, and your individual attempts to improve the situation. A situation, I believe the gravity of which, is still not fully appreciated by those most directly involved.
I am hopeful that a little tough-love will do the trick. Those of you that have tried that approach only to find your voice edited or muted, can now find solace in the fact that there is someone willing to do the dirty work who can not be so easily ignored and dismissed/deleted.
If you’ve previously been censored and deemed offensive, non-constructive, or uncivil ("not to be picky"), please email me (jake@desipio.com) your thoughts directly and I will ensure that they are addressed appropriately.
For the good of this site, and the retention and growth of readership, I am willing to oversee the implementation of a comprehensive 12-step transformation program. We’ll start with a reasoned, tactful approach shrouded as a depersonalized recommended practices and behavior public service announcement, culminating with an early morning blanket party thrown by Karry Ling and myself if all 12 steps are found necessary.
Hopefully it won’t come to that.
Now, for those of you complaining about Andy’s anti-Chip commentary, you’re on your own….
Anna, I have you penciled in next year for the National Sweet Corn festival in my hometown.
All the hot buttered 12" cobs you can wrap your hands around.
Uhhh, I’m sure Kris has a game that day. He can’t come.
I can’t believe there isn’t even a throw away sentence informing the Desipio faithful that I was traded to the Padres yesterday. How soon you forget me!
Alex, you won’t be there after this year…
Yo, yo, Jake, dude. Too many 5-syllable words.
Kris can’t come? I’ve got video of my face that says otherwise!
Does Chuck have to put into every post that he knows somebody moderately famous? "I went to highschool with…" "I used to work with…" "I saw Matt Clement at Johns…" A derivative of this was his alltime greatest, "I drive a beemer."
It’ll take more than 12 steps to change me, Potter!
Keep this up and I’ll have to come up with something really mean to say about Coach K!!!
I would never say that Kerry Wood is gutless. I would say he inconsistent to the point of my lacking confidence in him.
And what’s worse is that Kerry is the Jenga of pitching. He crashes for an instant, then picks up the pieces and starts over again. The problem is, in that crash, the game can be lost.
Anyone who calls him gutless is just plain silly and wrong.
I’m famous? I’m barely alive.
#28
You are so right. Why, just yesterday I was at my synogogue and God and I had a talk…
A nurturer? It’s true. I have two baby puppies attempting to suckle right now. Boy are they going to be disappointed.
The reason I don’t "put BC in his place" is twofold. The comments sections tend to do that, and he’s a grown man…boy…whatever and he can fight his own battles. I’m not taking away his ability to post columns or comments.
About a year ago, Desipio was still kind of an unknown hangout. Even our Cubs-related columns didn’t get more than a handful of posts. Now I could write a six word column about Ramon Martinez’s right sock and get 40 replies. With that come some irrational ones.
So far there are only two people banned from the site. One was an unfunny Cardinals fan. I don’t mind when the Satanic Fowl legions drop by, but if they can’t be funny, and they just post witty things like "Cubs suck!" over and over, what’s the point…and the Fake Sloth. Poor Sloth almost went mental during that barrage, so I banned his attacker.
There are days when I’m tempted to ban half the site, but that’s no fun, so we just let it go. During the process that proved that Alex Kaseberg was posting here, I ended up deleting a couple of his pots. I didn’t realize it was really him at first, but I didn’t ban him and he got his two cents in before he stopped posting again.
So if you’re hoping to see Baker Basher or BC or Chuck or me or whoever banned, it’s not that likely.
This won’t be CubsTalk.com where a phony trade rumor will get you thrown in the Internet stockade.
"couple of his pots…" Nice typo. I made it look like Kaseberg doesn’t have a pots to piss in.
Devil are we still on for tonight?
I’m not getting banned? Crap. Well, at least the Wife can read what I do here all day. God knows (he told me so) that she can’t hear it…
Since you mention how the number of comments has increased over the past year or so, maybe it would be interesting for the readers to tell how they were "turned on" to Desipio.
My first visit was due to a mention in Barry Rozner’s column. He was crediting Desipio with breaking the news (or wind) with the story about The Farns punting baseballs during BP and ending up on the disabled list. The rest, they say, is history.
Isn’t that redundant?
Unless they’re unintentionally funny.
Chuck, just to make clear, my post was not a reaction to yours, they just went up at the same time.
My issue is just with those knee-jerk reactionaries who can’t believe that a pitcher would ever give up a run. These are the same guys who were advocating trading Prior when he gave up 2 runs in the first inning of a game, then ended up giving up none the rest of the way. Yeah, we all have an emotional investment in the team, but sometimes people are so short sighted it’s ridiculous.
I was turned to Desipio by typing random words concerning Joe Borowski in Google searches. I can’t remember what I excatly typed but it was about Regular Joe.
Agreed, CT. I knew you weren’t commenting on me.
And as to the ad nauseum anti-Chip rant, how about some review of Hot Dog Boy’s new show? Andy must be thrilled that the only Cub fan with a radio show got bounced in favor of an ex-hot dog vendor and high school dropout who now gives us his opinion on politics.
I haven’t listened for more than 7 seconds (Dick Durbin was on talking about college scholarships). Anyone else (other than CT) got anything on this?
I found the Cub Reporter via a "Periodic Table of Bloggers" that was linked to by Andrew Sullivan. That led me to the Sloth. That led me to AL4A which became Desipio on a miss-click.
So blame my posts here on the Sloth and porn.
to the Cardinals "moran" picture in one of the daily doses.
was at northsidebaseball.com.
Last year, around the end of April, I was just fooling around on the Internet. I got to wondering who, besides Dave Martinez and Raffy Palmeiro that Cindy Sandberg had banged (talk about a slow day). So I googled something like "Cindy Sandberg Fooling Around Cubs"…
…and I was led to Andy’s recap of the ’03 Cubs’ convention. In the Discussion Forum, someone wrote a posed as Cindy Sandberg, claiming to have missed Andy at the convention.
Not to be overly dramatic, but I sort of felt like the early explorers who stumbled upon Niagra Falls.
Sorry. THAT’S how I found Desipio.
The North show is a train wreck. The idea itself may have some merit (a show that includes some political and entertainment discussion along with sports), but having Pappy host it is ridiculous. He trying as hard as he can to be controversial, but you can tell it’s an act. He got on Fred Huebner the other day for reading a baseball score that North thought was irrelevant and told him to "shorten it up, nobody cares". Anne Maxfield is trying to work in, but it’s gonna be tough.
All sports all the time is a little tiresome, but I hope they never lose the focus on Chicago sports. I don’t listen to Rome, Patrick, etc., because I don’t give a crap about who’s starting at cornerback for the Redskins or if Jason Kidd is gonna get traded. I follow Chicago teams and I can get what national news I desire from the papers and Internet. If I want sports talk, I want it about local stuff.
By the way, sounds like Murph is picking up the old Julie Sweica gig on the weekends. I wonder where she landed.
Here’s my gem from this morning’s show:
Huebner(giving the update): the Sox lost last night when John Garland had his one bad inning giving up 4 runs in the 3rd…
North: Do you think he actually craps his pants out there on the mound when that happens?
Huebner: Is that a rhetorical question?
North: Rhetorical? What does rhetorical mean?
Ugh. Murph has been put at night now from 6:30-11:00. He’s even worse without a partner, because he doesn’t know much beyond who the ’69 Cubs were. I’m sure that where ever Julie Sweica landed, there is now a huge indentation in the ground.
I came across Andy’s 2003 pre-season Hot Stove spoof on Yahoo.
From there found my way to desipio.
I discovered Desipio in 2000 after googling "Jay Mariotti" (that just doesn’t sound right).
I forwarded Andy the "Moran" pic after trolling the old IlliniBoard.
I can’t remember how I got here, but I do remember the first article I read. It was Andy’s recounting of the 2003 Cubs Convention when he hung out at the hotel bar with Bob Dernier and signed autographs for drunk idiots.
What’s this? The discussion section had turned into a set of insults thrown at each other today, and now we’re talking about reading Desipio for the first time as if we had seen our wife for the first time or something.
For what it’s worth, I started reading this site toward the end of that magical 2001 Cubs season. I think I did a google search for something that explained the rumors concerning all the turnover at the Trib sports desk (the horrific Skippy Handelman leaving, the even more horrific Michael Holley stopping in for a few days, etc.)
So it’s been a great 3 years, only a year less than I’ve known my wife…
That said, I’d love to have the Chicago-area Desipio guys have a Cubs postseason game party in lieu of a gamecast one time. Think it might be fun to see who we all are, buy a few drinks for some of you, accept a couple drinks from some of you, keep sharp objects away from some of us when Wood walks the bases loaded in the 4th inning, etc…
I just thought it would be interesting to see how people stumbled upon this site. So far, except for TJ’s tastes, it is.
Picked up the October issue of MAxim on the way home from work.It has Avril Lavigne on the cover. Looks good, but the inside pictorial is a little tame by Maxim standards.
Then, I open my mailbox, and the new ESPN The Magazine is there. Pooholes, Pumpkinhead, and Lassie are on the cover. I wanted to pitch it, but I have a feeling I may use it to taunt some Satanic Fowl fans at work in a month or so.
The Sloth and I can recommend the RAM Brew Pub on Higgins in Des Plaines. Good beers, lotsa TVs, a cigar cabinet, and Atkins-style burgersteaks on the menus.
On the downside, no halter-tops on the waitresses.
I’m going to the game on Saturday. Any requests heckles toward anyone or anything?
That sounds like an upside.
RAM isn’t bad. I’ve been to the one in Wheeling a few times.
Dave, I was just marvelling at how we all seem to remember how we got here, and how we now won’t leave!
Chuck,
Isn’t that a bit far for Sloth?
Frankly, the thought of a bunch of us degenerates getting together in the flesh is too frightening for my mind to comprehend.
On the other hand, if it’s convenient (i.e. in the city), I may just have to dive in.
Found Andy’s site linked from Sloth’s site, linked from Ivy’s site, linked from Yellon’s site, which was linked on usenet’s cubs board. I never go to usenet or cubs.com anymore. Have been locked in on NSBB, Desipio, Sloth and Ivy for over a year now. You’re all OK in my book.
I tried doing my own Cubs blog briefly, it was too much work and not enough traffic, so I stopped. And so I appreciate the time and effort all these guys put into blogging, good work. Shows how dedicated we are to all things Cubs.
I smell a moneymaker for Dolan!
If I’m gonna come to Chicago for a bash at a bar, it had better be at Scores, Heavnely Bodies, or someplace like that.
And one other thing before I head off to a local joint on a rare Friday night off from reffing high school football: The Score should try the really novel approach of hiring somebody new for their programming openings. That putz J Hood has gone from weekender to overnights to evenings to afternoon drive in about 18 months, and he sucks. Hell, hire some guys off of this site. Anythings better than listening to Hoody huff and puff his way through a radio show.
I watched several games on the rooftop deck at the Avenue Ale House in Oak Park. I’d recommend it, as being outside gave you sort of an "at the game" feel. Of course, you’ve got hope the weather cooperates.
Agreed, Dave B. But J-Hood does a Dead-on Bernstein impression.
Seriously.
Karry Ling told me about Desipio. Yesterday.
He’s a little slow.
Steve Smith has signed with the Charlotte Bobcats, meaning the city of Charlotte now has two millionaire Steve Smith and three of the four legs are unbroken.
While Des Plaines is far for the Sloth-at-home, it’s not that for for the Sloth-at-work. Ironically, since our last occasion to break bread (am I name dropping again?), both of us have relocated to differing work locations. Not sure of what’s half way for us now.
T.J.: I’m a regular at Wheeling’s RAM now (name dropping again, I guess). I office about 4 miles north of there. I go to Champps on occasion in Lincolnshire, but their food isn’t as good as RAMs.
Yeah, let me tell you about Champps. It’s great. I went there with my third cousin who you played Richie’s brother Chuck on Happy Days for a season.
On North’s morning show:
I was able to hear about 45 minutes of it today, and I’ll tell you…
I thought about driving my car off the road three or four times. It was that bad.
https://www.desipio.com/faqs.htm
I heard about Desipio through somebody’s internet article in which they were re-capping the 2003 NBA Draft and mentioned how funny Andy’s re-cap was. They were right. I laughed out loud at Andy’s description of the awkward Yao Ming high-five with dad and have been here every day since. The only downside is that I’ve begun to care about the Cubs.
I found the site by googling "Chip Caray Sucks" after another agonizingly bad broadcast last year. I was taken right to the terror alert.
I think I have a problem I’m additced to this website. I need some intervention. Is there a 3 step program?
BC, if I was reading your column while driving, I’d feel exactly the same way.
The one thing is that if there can be a Desipio playoff bash, and we want it easily accessible for the Durand contingent, we might have to find some place near Elgin or Crystal Lake. And it will have to be easy to find, because isn’t Karry Ling Desipio’s limo driver?
I own the Cubs!!
I’ve been talking a lot with Mark and Kerry, and now I also cannot throw a strike to save my life.
El fantastico!
I am batting LESS than .029, now. And I’m a position player.
"The Cubs bullpen has not allowed a run in the last 13 innings heading into Friday’s game. Getting Farnsworth back would be a boost."
I like to reach out for the ball with my pitching hand, even if letting it go through will result in a double play. I am a gentleman and a scholar.
And a badass power hitter.
Any Desipio bash that does NOT meet at the NW burbs Hooters isn’t worth attending.
Why does Dusty put me in over Jason Dubois
I’m hitting a grand .214 with 3 RBI’s in 98 AB’s
Personally, I found Desipio in…I think it was 2001, via a link from some other site I can’t remember now, and have been a regular since. Even though I don’t normally have any great interest in the Cubs or Chicago sports, you guys are really funny. As I’ve said before, though, those of you who complain about Chip Caray so much: Just be thankful you’re not saddled with Mark Grace like we here in Arizona are. At least Chip has never called a player a "gorgeous man"! For that matter, watching Luis Terrero (Spanish for "laughably inept") would put any of your problems with Sammy Sosa or Gabor Bako or whoever else in perspective quickly. Oh, and finally, the Cardinals didn’t invent baseball. Everyone knows Al Gore invented baseball, of course!
Constructive criticism I can accept, BC.
But, those are the kind of comments I’m just going to ignore.
I’m up here in Cincy tonight and I’m fired up for tomorrow night’s game. Actually going to hit Cincy’s Oktoberfeast before. I’ll have a couple brews prior to Maddux pitching yet another masterpiece of a game.
I was really excited to see that we killed the Reds tonight 12-4. Then I went to the Cubs website to check the notes for an injury report. Come to find out, Farnsworthless pitched another gay ass sitmulated game striking out Tom Goodwin how many times(like that’s hard to do) But anyway, Dusty complimented him on his progress.
I have to say that Dusty’s digging himself a grave already thinking about using that sorry asshole again. We’ve done quite well without that dumbass son of a bitch. Why do we want to use him now and blow more games much less this wild card? We’re in trouble if Farnsworthless comes back. There is no concreate reason why we need that sac of shit. I even have to say Michael Wuertz has done better and should pitch instead of Kyle. You know you’re bad when "It could get Wuertz" is pitching better and is more reliable then you. Believe me, you haven’t seen the worst of Farnsworthless yet. I’m just glad I won’t be seeing that piece of shit tomorrow. If per chance I see him, I might give him a heckle he’ll never forget. I might get a Frank Fransico chair in my face, but it would be well Wuertz it. I’d sue that asshole for all he’s got, which isn’t going to be too much after this pathetic year. You got to be the dumbest most suicidal organization to sign a moron like Kyle.
I’m done wasting my time on this guy.
GO CUBS!
From Barry Rozner’s mention about the Farns punting a baseball. Maybe we can trade him to the Bears for – does it really matter?
But evidently Roy Oswalt left the game in the 8th tonight with a rib injury, and is listed as day-to-day. Maybe something to watch for in his next starts.
Just filed my story on Carmel-Niles Notre Dame game (Carmel 35-9), and I want to remind Baker Basher that Farnsworth is extra mean in the Queen City. Just ask Paul Wilson, right.
But the story on the Farns booting baseballs in the outfield back in 2002 is still priceless. And it put desipio.com on the map, right?
I came across desipio at the beginning of this year after searching for ‘Pat Hughes’ in google or yahoo or somethin. I wanted to see something about his background, and I end up reading something that comes OUT of his background. Lots of fiber!
Of course I haven’t done anything too great here so I just kind of read stuff here and there to catch up on the Cubs that I miss during work. I was making some gameday posts that were generally invisible, but with a 48 hour work week it’s impossible now!
This is from the Trib’s writeup on last night’s game…too funny.
CINCINNATI — Carlos Zambrano paced the visitor’s dugout at Great American Ball Park with a bat in his hand late Friday afternoon, trying to psyche himself up for his start against Cincinnati.
"I want to kill a reporter," Zambrano announced suddenly, taking a few mock swings at some imaginary writers.
"I want to kill a reporter" gotta love BIG Z…….hell I want to kill everyone…..anyone…..I’m a hater from way back, my one friend loves me because I’m consistant.
I found this place early this spring linked to a clown convention site, now all my fellow southern IL Cub fan buddies are daily visitors as we have plenty of time on our hands down here. This place is great for a few yuks and its keen insight into REAL Cub Fans’ misery. Beats drinking with ignorant redneck evil satanic fowl followers. Desipio and The Sloth are my first 2 visits when I fire up the pc everyday. Of course after 40 years of Da Cruds, Da Bears, the Fighting Illini and heavy drug & alcohol use what else can amuse someone. Propane Posse……luv that one too………..This place is BIG……….OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Roy Oswalt thinks we will be enough to help him to make his next start. And why not? Cortisone shots on the hour, every hour, have done wonders for Jeff Bagwell.
Will the Giants ever lose??
NEVER!!!!!11
I have been intentionally walked. This is the sign of the apocalypse.
Sosa strikes out looking, Grudz pops up on a 3-1 count. Bako is intentionally walked, and now presumably Maddux will ground out or something.
Very fundamentally sound.
You gotta love that Roy Oswalt
I’m just like Mark, Kerry, and Matt!
We had a 1-0 lead. I gave up a homer to make it 1-1. We had a 4-1 lead, game was in hand. I gave up a homer to make it 4-4.
Super-clutch. This whole staff is.
Now I’ve blown the game! Giants finally lose? We have a 4-1 lead late in the game against a team that can’t hit?
No problemo! I’ll just give them 5 runs with two outs in the sixth.
We are glad to report that the greatest thing since sliced bread, Kyle Farnsworth, will be back to blow games by tomorrow!
Of course I send the runner only for him to be thrown out
I just got our wild card lead thrown out by 3 feet! Why the fuck do I still have a job?
It’s not all your fault, Wendell. If I’d have pinch-run for Grud instead of Walker, the game would be tied. But, you know, it’s important to worry about scoring the winning run when you haven’t even scored the tying run.
F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell! F*ck you Wendell!
Actually, it’s hardly Wendell’s fault, Pena made a really good throw. And I like a dumbass made a really wide turn at 3rd. Oops!
Could of happened had dumbf*ck Kim had of not sent Dudz.
Wow, and look how many players were wasted to score a total of zero runs on 4 hits!
GO TO HELL WENDELL KIM!!!! GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!
The Cubs won’t make the playoffs.
Cub fans may send their letters and e-mails regarding this newsflash to Dusty Baker and Greg Maddux.
This loss does not they won’t make the playoffs, but it did suck. It was so winnable in the 8th, what with the Graves sucking and even the bench getting hits. Why pinch run the winning run rather than the TYING run? Macias could’ve hauled ass home helluv faster than Grud, and he could’ve even stayed in to play 2b if Dusty is so freaking worried about Walker’s defense.
San Fran hadn’t lost in seemingly forever. They lose, at home, with Jason Schmidt on the mound. The Cubs are handed a game. Greg Maddux is crusing, up 4-1 against a pretty crummy offense. They finish that game like a decent team should, and they’ve all but taken the playoff spot. They’re up 2 in the loss column against their nearest competitor, and they’ve made them pay for losing earlier.
But…Maddux choked. Baker choked by sending him back out there with nothing. Grudz and Kim combined on a choke, and Baker even put in a little on that one, pinch-running for the lead run instead of the tying run. Then Aramis choked in the ninth. Lots of choking tonight. This is the kind of game that ruins a team. Tomorrow Glendon Rusch goes against Paul Wilson, then you’ve got two against Florida.
The Cub team plays like a bunch of little leaguers and act like them also…..that is why the Cubs are choking.
Aren’t you guys a half-game out? With 16 to play?
So many ledges, so little time.
At the end of the game someone (I think it was Neifi) was sitting in the dugout with his head in his hands, looking dejected, with a few of the players patting him on the back. If it was Neifi, all I can figure out is he may have been blaming himself for not breaking up the double play in the 9th. If that was so, there were several guys who should have been there instead of him, like 5 in the 6th Maddux, or scoring by way of West Virginia Grudzielanek, or maybe Dummy Baker for not pinch running for Grud.
I make a crappy throw to the plate giving Dunn an extra base.
4 K’s for me today, I’m back to my early season hitting approach everyone!
Second day in a row that I can’t get the run in from 3rd with 0 or 1 out. Good thing at least Barrett’s got a sack so that run scored anyway.
It appears the Marlins will send David Weathers to the mound to start Game 2 tomorrow. Ugh.
Show me some freaking love. I’m a really good player. Best backstop you’ve had since Jo-deeeeee Davis. Unlike Jody, I hit for high average. And Chip thinks I’m cute!!
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