Has the world gone completely mad? The Cubs’ manager is dumping holy water on guys, he’s blaming sportswriters for things his players said, the Orioles $5 million Assclown Steve Kline says he wishes he was still in St. Louis… St. Louis of all places. Why would anybody go there on purpose?
As much crap as there is to hurl at Dusty, he’s going to get a bit of a reprieve thanks to these comments by Mark Prior’s Fan Club President, Steve Kline.
In today’s St. Louis Dogpatch, Kline is quoted as saying inspirational things like, “I’m miserable.”
Yes, Steve, you are. You are a miserable human being.
He continues…
“I’m just rolling with the punches. I’m not having any fun on the field. Going to the ballpark is the only thing that stinks right now, and that’s the worst thing to hear from a professional athlete.”
Don’t worry, Steve. You’re not an athlete. You’re a fat lefty who hasn’t ever strung two good seasons together in a row. Oh, and you’ve got an ERA of better than 23 right now. Muahahahahaha!
In the article, Kline admits to grooving fastballs that ended up being hit for homers by Oakland’s Eric Byrnes and the Yankees’ Ruben Sierra. Oh, but he’s got a reason.
On the first one, against Oakland, it was Jay Gibbons’ fault because he cut off a throw on a sac bunt attempt from Kline to second. Yeah, I saw that one. Gibbons’ cut it off because Kline threw to the wrong base. And despite what the Dogpatch says, his name is Jay not John, anyway. Kline now explains what happened after that.
“Everybody in the world thought they were bunting again. There was a play where I was going to cover third base, but (Byrnes) swung and hit it out of the ballpark. I threw the pitch right down the middle, letting him bunt, thinking it was National League style, you know. Shame on me.”
Why would they bunt again, Stevie? You let them advance the runner into scoring position without using up an out. You weren’t thinking of “National League style” you were thinking with your head up your fat ass.
The homer to Sierra came after BJ Surhoff let a flyball drop in that Kline thought he should have caught. Yeah, because Reggie Sanders and Ray Lankford never found a flyball they couldn’t chase down, eh, Stevie? Sierra says the first pitch to him was a cookie.
“I’m so used to Renteria and Jimmy running down my mistakes and picking me up.”
Yeah, because the Orioles’ defense just sucks, you know with Miguel Tejada at shortstop. And by the way, Steve, if you were still a Cardinal, you’d have a midget playing shortstop behind you.
“A 20-something ERA doesn’t look good. I don’t think (the Cardinals) would take me back with that. Maybe if I get it down to 10, it would be a little different. It’s going to take me a little while to realize what’s going on and to put the past behind me. I miss St. Louis. But what can you do?”
That’s nice, he’s already trying to get himself traded back to St. Louis. Here’s the thing, Steve. The Cardinals didn’t even try to sign you in the offseason. They were just as tired of your act as Baltimore already is. But I’ve got some advice for you. Flip off your new manager, Lee Mazilli like you did The Genius last year and see how fast you get your ass kicked. That ought to be fun.
If you’re Dusty Baker, you know that you teed up a story for the media (in your words, “big time”) when Rick Morrissey is able to line you up and take you 300 yards down the center of the fairway with his opening paragraph.
Dusty Baker has taken to rubbing holy water on the injured parts of Cubs players. This could explain why third baseman Aramis Ramirez was so adamant Tuesday that he did not have a strained groin.
The holy water thing is just ridiculous. It’s ridiculous that The Panozzo let the story get out in the first place (nice PR skills there, Sharon), and it’s ludicrous that Dusty’s been sprinkling holy water on injured players. What’s more surprising is that given the current physical state of the Cubs that he didn’t have The Panozzo get him a five gallon bucket of the stuff.
But the holy water thing is not the big news of the day from the Cubs. Nope. It’s Dusty blaming the media for the stupid things his players say and then hiding from them after yesterday’s game was postponed to be part of a doubleheader today.
Yesterday, I ripped Jerry Hairston the Lesser for shooting off his mouth to the media about how upset he was that he wasn’t starting at second base on Monday. Predictibly, Dusty blamed it on the writers.
Look, I can empathize a little. The Cubs’ press corps is among the dumbest in the world. This is not exactly a Mensa Meeting. Anytime you have George Ofman, Seabiscuit’s Jockey and Mike Kiley in a room at the same time, the IQ of the room drops by half. Bruce Miles seems knowledgable enough but he kind of looks like a ferret and whenever Phil Rogers and Bruce Levine stop by to see what’s going on the potential for something stupid to be uttered actually rises to well above 100 percent.
But here’s the thing. No matter how many stupid questions these guys ask, the players and Dusty, especially Dusty, do not have to give them stupid answers.
So for Dusty to blame Hairston’s tantrum on the media isn’t just absurd, it’s insulting. Dusty is purported to be this great “player’s manager” so if that’s true, why didn’t he get to Jerry first and explain what he told the media yesterday. Dusty now says that Jerry will get most of the starts at second. If that was true two days ago, why not avoid the whole scene and…you know…tell your players?
The Cubs would be wise to remember that while there are no stupid questions, there are stupid people who ask questions. It’s just not that hard to take even the most loaded question and avoid giving an equally loaded answer.
When I slide down her love canal, I will boldly go where no man has gone before.
Ha! I kill me…
I might as well be the name of their baby. Only in America can such backwards-ass retard hicks get knocked up and the public goes bananas.
Hee Haw! What a dang tootin’ country!
I’m sorry, but if Dan McNeil’s return to The Score means he will be paired with Misanthrope Boers, I’d call it a good deal. It would get Dan Bernstein away from Boers and put him where he doesn’t have to over-compensate and show off to try to outdo Boers. I’ve always liked Bernstein a lot better when someone is filling in for his bitter partner. Pairing Bernstein with someone else during mid-days would be an improvement, then people could continue to ignore the 2-6 slot of Boers/McNeil if they so choose.
I don’t know the meaning of narrowed? Perhaps it’s that moran on WSCR who got it wrong. Hell, hot dog vendors make for reliable journalists, right?
Not to be picky Andy – but the line to the Mariotti article is wrong. Perhaps Mariotti could have put down his doughnut to do some fact checking.
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But Baker opted for one of his “guys” from the San Francisco days, utilityman Neifi Perez.
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Neifi never played for Baker in San Francisco. I’ve already emailed Mariotti about this and encouage others to do the same.
jmariotti@suntimes.com
By one of his “guys” from San Francisco, I meant homos.
The Mariotti link is fixed. It’s the Sun-Times and their 4,000,000 f@#$ing pop-up ads. If the pop-up blocker blocks them while you’re copying the URL sometimes it doesn’t copy. Nice Web site.
I miss the Bak-o-meter…
(I’m 1-3 with a single and 2 K’s)
Eat that White!
Moronotti, never failing to mention Assclown #1 by his accursed name given the slightest chance, referred to “Bartman’s glove”
He was wearing a glove? Really? And he STILL dropped it?
My brain exploded today.
Neifi is starting at 2nd in Game 1 today.
Jay: I know how you feel
steve, buddy, we´re teamates now, come to my locker
and I´ll give you some NL Central love
My favorite Kline quote from the article:
“There’s nothing worse than getting booed at home,” Kline said. “St. Louis fans are too good for that. They understand the game more than most people.”
The more I hear Skiles talk, the more respect i gain for him. I like how he coaches, and I like how he doesn’t pamper players. And I agree with what he said about NBA. If somebody plays physical defense, they are dirty. I hope Noce doesn’t get the dirty player lebel with the refs going into the playoffs.
My favorite Kline line was him saying that TLR had leadership, after his middle finger gesture towards the same man last year.
I am not a mathematician, so please explain. If the IQ of the room goes down by half when the three sprotswriters walk into the room, what if the room is empty when they enter it?
We don’t “enter” the room, we waddle into it.
If a tree falls in a forest, and three sportswriters are there to see it, is it Dusty’s fault?
Don’t know how much I’ll enjoy the birth canal trip, but the breast feeding is going to give me props for years.
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